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(S23) - Ultimus Week - furiousPanda - 07-30-2020
3) The Great Chicago Rushmore
A lot of teams have a deep rich history in this league. But one team comes to mind that had pretty turbulent history and I would like to bring up is the Chicago Butchers. The Butchers have a rough and dark history all together, from not winning it all and becoming the laughing stock of the league but I do not want to focus on that but in that darkness, there is some light and they had a great array of players and users that I think deserve the Mount Rushmore honors or at least the concept of the being remembered in team history positively.
But for the first head, I would like to start at the beginning. Muford "The Co-Founder" as one of the heads of Chicago Butcher Rushmore. First, he is one of the founders of the team, the other being Oles, which yes he is on this list. A Chicago native, he wanted to and brought the great Chicago name to the ISFL. When I was being scouted by Chicago during season 22, talking to him is amazing and fun, and he had a great vision for the team. He is a great user in the ISFL, and helped build the foundation of this team from the beginning. Currently, he is the co-general manager of the Butchers and is working towards rebounding, retooling or rebuild the team to that foundation level. After a brief absence, and the dark period in Chicago history he is back, and the Butchers are in the up and coming list of teams that will play for the Ultimus for the next few seasons. It makes sense that he would be one of the heads of the great Chicago Butcher Rushmore.
Next head on the great Chicago Butcher Rushmore is Oles “The President”, and he is just as equally important to Chicago as Muford. Oles is the founder and president of the team. He is one of the older members of the ISFL and his love for the league has no bounds. He helped establish the foundation that Chicago was built upon. Personally, I have not interacted with him, but from talking to other users, Oles is an amazing user. So when he also went missing at a certain point and the Chicago team did suffer greatly. I would call his absence where the dark history started for the Butchers. But in better news, Oles’ recreate player, Tyler Oles JR, is on the Chicago roster. Chicago history started with the two founders, so they get the well-deserved recognition in the great Chicago Rushmore.
In addition to Oles and Muford, the new era of Chicago begins. I would like to call this era the rebirth of Chicago. With their founders back on the team, the future looks bright thanks to none other than the user Bayley “The Rebirth “, or another name I like to call him Taylor Swift. Bayley is the current general manager of the Chicago Butchers. And with only two seasons behind him, he already belongs on the great Chicago Rushmore for a few reasons. First being, with the great moves he’s done since the collapse of Chicago after Valor and Steel left. He brought the franchise back to the brink of greatness through drafting with little to no picks available to picking up free agents in one season. Next, he is responsible on bringing back the old founders to the team. Muford signed as his co-general manager and then signing Oles’ recreate in the season 22 offseason. This helped Chicago stack and keep on track to their ultimate goal. Lastly, Bayley is just a great user. From all the interaction that I have done with him he is easily in my favorite users of the ISFL. He helps all his players and users out when they need it and in addition he is an old simulation league veteran. I think being a great user and person helps his case on this honor. Not to mention even Bayley’s player, Bayley Jr, is a great addition to the team. The player started as a linebacker and then switch positions to offensive line. With just one season under his belt, Bayley Jr, already set the franchise record for pancakes. This is the new standard that has been set and I think he deserves to be one of the greats of Chicago already.
The last head that belongs on the great Chicago Rushmore, is none other than the player Sean O’Leary. This scrappy wider receiver has been on the team since season 19. From what I’m told, he is a great locker room guy. He helps gel team unity and has the image of being Chicago tough. He’s been through the dark days and still plays with the team he is with. O’Leary is integrity when it comes to players. It also helps that he has the most receiving touchdowns and catches for Chicago. Which is outstanding. This helps solidify his case of being one of the greats of Chicago.
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836(S23) - Ultimus Week - MobiausGrander - 07-30-2020
Tier 2 #7: In this league, there is a high abundance of quality, capable talent spread out across both the DSFL. As such, for the end of the year awards, there is a high level of competition for the prestigious awards, most notably that of the Most Valuable Player and Defensive Player of The Year awards. For the award that is more applicable to me in the DSFL, the DPOY, I believe that my teammate, Alejandro Chainbreaker, overwhelmingly deserves the award! To begin with, looking at his stats for Season 23 in the DSFL, Chainbreaker had a godlike rookie season recording 102 tackles, 2 tackles-for-loss, 4 forced fumbles, 2 fumble recoveries, 6 sacks, and 9 pass deflections all as a linebacker! What makes his rookie season more impressive is that he had to share the defensive side of the field with his fellow rookies and players, Brooks, myself, and Hillard who all also had great and impressive seasons under each of their own rights! The biggest reason I believe that Chainbreaker should receive the DSFL DPOY is that practically every time he took the field, he had a high chance of directly causing a turnover or helping to create one; in essence, Chainbreaker’s presence elevated our whole defense, leading for me to also go as far as to call him our whole team’s MVP! Thus, I believe that Chainbreaker should be awarded the DSFL MVP!
For the other award, arguably the most distinguished award a player can win, the MVP, I believe that Suleiman Ramza, QB of the Dallas Birddogs, deserves this award. For starters, looking at his stats for Season 23 in the DSFL, Ramza’s stats may not be eye-popping for some, yet when you look deeper into them, there is another story to be told. For instance, out of all the starting QBs in the DSFL, Ramza had the highest QB completion percentage at 61.7% and the highest QB rating with a 90.7 rating, both indicators of a stable, highly efficient QB. The most important stat, however, is the TD to Int ratio. In this regard, Ramza is clearly the best at this stat. He had 11 TDs compared to 3 Ints, giving him a ratio of 3.67. The aforementioned stats are reflective of why Ramza clearly deserves the MVP as he was able to lead the Dallas Birddogs to the second best record in the DSFL and helped to become a playoff team when no one expected them to be one.
Tier 2 # 8: In this league, as there is an abundance of talent with only a few teams to claim such talent, it stands that in a given year, a few of those teams can be championship contenders while the rest of the teams may struggle or even fail to reach the playoffs. As a member of the Minnesota Grey Ducks, we had some hopes to make the playoffs; unfortunately, we were unable to make the playoffs as we just missed out on them by a full game. With this in mind, we head into Season 24 with a few questions and needs to address.
The two major questions at this offseason draft are: how to improve the offense to not be stagnant moving the ball and to replace a few key playmakers on defense that led a solid, turnover producing unit! On the offensive side of the ball, we have starting QB, a great RB, and very good wide receivers. However, we struggled to move the ball at times during the season. The main reason is that we only have one actual player OL while the rest of the OL are just bots. This would lead to many situations in games where we would have incompletions and stalled drives as our OL would not allow our QB time to throw or let our RB get easily tackled on run plays. I believe that we should draft human OL so as to immediately help our offense produce and to help take pressure of our defense as it was left too many times to dry last season, leading us to blow a few key games down the stretch. On the other side of the ball, we need to replenish the defense as great playmakers like Chainbreaker, Hillard, and myself are going to be drafted into the ISFL, leaving behind a younger core. I believe to counter this we must draft at least a couple players for the DL, LB corps, and DB corps to keep the defense from running out of playmakers and to help keep building this team towards playoff contention. With regards for the future and next couple of seasons, I think we may have to start from scratch as many of the team’s current playmakers and impact players will be in the ISFL. To mitigate this, I believe that our front office should stock up on picks for the next couple of drafts and to draft a couple of players for each position with those potential picks.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - howsour - 07-30-2020
Tier 1: Long Form Tasks (800+ words)
Choose ONE for 10 TPE.
3) For any team, certain players and users have gone above and beyond, shaping the legacy of the franchise. Choose any ISFL or DSFL team - with the exception of the Sarasota Sailfish and Honolulu Hahalua - and create a Mount Rushmore for that team. Who in your mind are the four most noteworthy figures of the team’s history? Why does each one of your included figures deserve that recognition, and how did each of them make their mark?
Although the Dallas Birddogs have only existed for a meager three years, I think it is important to look at their brief history. A team with a solid and passionate ownership group has cultivated a very culture within their locker room which has extended throughout the ISFL as various players have moved on (and have been pretty high draft picks). The issue with the DSFL is that a player’s time in the league is very brief and because of this it is difficult for a single player to make a huge impact. For this reason, my Dallas Birddogs Mount Rushmore will contain only users.
The first and perhaps the easiest legend to carve into the mountain would be Gucci. Gucci is the original GM of Dallas and is considered to be the Founding Father, or as many of us prefer to call him; Daddy. At the time of the team’s founding, Gucci was a very active user who had a long tenure in the league. He was and continues to be well respected within the league; it is obvious he cares for the league, but at the same time he does not take it too seriously. He provides a good balance of fun and intensity that is integral in defining the culture of the locker room, which remains one of the most active in the DSFL. His player was also the second draft pick in franchise history and he scored the first touchdown in team history as well. Creating an expansion team is certainly difficult and this difficulty was exacerbated by the influx of users that was the Season 22 draft class. He navigated the balance drafting veterans of the league and new faces that he felt could make an impact. Although Gucci has moved on from the responsibilities of management and only managed the team for its first year, he still remains active within the locker room and definitely deserves to be etched into Birddogs history.
Unsurprisingly, I believe that Kyle (or Inverted, whatever you want to call him really) would be the second face included in the Birddogs Mount Rushmore. Of course, he was the first Co-GM in franchise history and really helped Gucci in all facets of team management. Kyle managed the team for its first three years of existence which saw the Birddogs transform themselves from fledgling newcomers to a seemingly perennial powerhouse. Kyle has been a significant voice in the locker room during his tenure and always had a positive outlook on the league. Despite whatever losses the team faced, or whatever disappointments, he was always there with a joke and a positive comment that created hope going forward. Kyle was also a substantial help in assisting the large class of rookies with their player builds at nearly every positions. Kyle, as a league veteran, often leveraged his knowledge to help all players, regardless of team. He also was always quick to remind everyone of the outstanding TPE opportunities so players could maximize their TPE earnings and enjoy the league more. Although he recently stepped down as a GM of the Dallas Birddogs, his time there will be remembered very fondly as he laid a solid foundation for growth and future success.
The third face that I’d like to slap on the Dallas Birddogs Mount Rushmore is none other than iStegosaurus. The legendary 187th overall draft pick that turned into a simulation God and has shifted the paradigm of the league. His research has proved invaluable in terms of which stats to invest TPE into and has forever boosted the value of user Offensive Linemen. Beyond that, he created the ISFL Casino in order to boost league engagement. He has spent countless hours within the simulation and also working for the league which sometimes seems to go unappreciated. Additionally, he stepped in as Co-GM once Gucci originally left the Birddogs and saw the team achieve future success. His constant testing saw the Birddogs narrowly miss an Ultimini Trophy last season. As a player, iSteg was the first Dallas Birddog to ever be drafted into the ISFL and as the number one overall pick. If this doesn’t show greatness, I don’t know what does. As Kyle recently stepped down as Head GM, iSteg has taken over this role, the first and only GM of any team from the S22 draft class. He is most certainly a Dallas Birddogs legend.
Last, but certainly not least, was a difficult choice. There are so many people that I considered adding, but I thought that it should belong to an OG Birddog whose future is just now dawning. That user is Yonggarius; good old William Lim. He was another S22 rookie who was quickly successful in the league and folded into the war rooms of both Dallas and Colorado. Another super positive user who frequently goes out of his way to compliment players’ on their performances, even Dallas alumni when they are playing in the ISFL. He has also taken over responsibilities as the Co-GM of Dallas after Kyle’s departure and is dipping his toes in the waters of the simulation. He will certainly be another Birddogs legend in due time.
All of these users have not managed the team long, but I think that is what makes them great members of the league. They treat the DSFL as it is supposed to be; a developmental league where you keep players engaged and help them grow as both players, but also as league members. They allowed and encouraged users to apply for jobs, sim test, and become team managers. They are truly the greats of the Dallas Birddogs.
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Word Count: 938(S23) - Ultimus Week - JBLAZE_THE_BOSS - 07-30-2020
8.) The Tijuana Luchadores have a storied past and a bright future ahead of them. While this season surely did not go as planned, there was still progress made towards the ultimate goal of capturing their 8th Ultimini crown. The Season 23 iteration of the proud DSFL franchise finished the regular season with a record of 6-8, missing the playoffs outright. Despite this disappointment, there were foundational players added such as: S Maverick Bowie, QB Mike Boss Jr., RB Crowbar Theeks, LB Adam Schell, OL Icebos Riposte, and a handful of other young exciting prospects. The Luchadores had a unique combination of veteran and rookie players this past season, and the rookies who struggled now have an entire season of experience underneath their belt. The Luchadores led the league in passing yards, and they should be competing for that title again next season where Mike Boss Jr is expected to take the starting job full-time. Unfortunately the team also led the league in another important passing stat—interceptions thrown. Boss Jr is going to have to work on his ball placement and be sure to protect the ball a lot better than he has been so far in his career. While his father started off his career with similar results, the Luchadores can’t accept another season from the young signal caller that is so bad. There is hope that with some new additions to the backfield, the Luchadores can expand their running game to improve from a league worst in attempts, yards, and tied for the lowest amount of rushing touchdowns. The offense must balance itself better and it will improve both the pass and the run attack. On the defensive side of the ball, expect the Luchadores’ excellence in the secondary to take a bit of a statistical hit, but that should see their pass rush numbers improve. Tijuana was second to last in sacks, only Portland was worse, and the coaching staff knows how important pressure is on the entire defense. The team can’t possibly expect to score 3 defensive touchdowns again next season, there’s always a bit of luck with those, so who knows what type of trickle-down effect that may have on the rest of the defensive output. Tijuana looks to continue their reign atop the kicking game, the team did not miss an extra point attempt last season, and only missed 3 field goal attempts. The longest field goal was only 50 yards, so it shows how intelligent the coaching staff is when it comes to deciding whether or not to go for it or take the points. The offensive line is somewhere that there is optimism brewing, the team was middle of the pack last season with 17 sacks allowed, that number has to go down especially considering how Boss Jr can get rattled.
9.) The Greatest Player of All-Time is a prestigious title that should be reserved for only a select few. In the history of the NSFL/ISFL, there is only one man who comes to mind for me- Mike Boss. Boss has a story that Hollywood itself couldn’t have possibly written. If you presented Mike Boss’s career to Netflix as a short series, they would deny you because it was unrealistic. Mike Boss was drafted by the Orange County Otters in the Season One Draft. The only problem? Orange County also drafted nearly a handful of other quarterbacks to compete for the starting job. With the odds stacked against the 48th overall pick in the history of the league, Mike Boss didn’t cower in fear. He didn’t shy away to a corner. He embraced the underdog role and vowed to battle and win the position. Ethan Hunt, Romeo Devitt, Josh Bercovici, Cliff Hamilton became known as the “Boss Four” as they were the four other quarterbacks selected by Orange County. The first two seasons of Boss’s career he threw combined for nearly 6,000 yards passing, 32 TD passes, and 35 INT. These numbers were tainted by a tough rookie year performance, as his sophomore season brought closer to what we would come to expect. Boss broke out in his 3rd season, earning his first of three career Offensive MVP awards posting a TD/INT ratio of 30-12. The next season, he would win the first of his three career NSFL MVP awards, after putting up 36 TD with 5,318 passing yards along with a 62.14% completion percentage to go alongside a 94.1 QBR. Boss would become a champion for the first of three consecutive times in his 5th season. During the Threepeat Era, Boss threw for 122 TD, 16,138 yards, and only 43 INT. Boss finished his career with 6 straight 5,000+ passing yards seasons, 7 straight seasons of at least 30 TD passes, and only had a QBR under 91 twice. He made the NSFL Pro Bowl for 8 consecutive seasons and is the standard for every QB to be compared to. He currently holds the ISFL records for: Career Passing Yards (42,278), Career Completion Percentage (60.2%), and Career Touchdowns (292). He also holds the record for the most passing yards in a single season with 5,545. There are others who think they may have a chance to be called the GOAT- but it’s simple. The list starts with Boss, and then everyone else is fighting for second place. Boss has blessed the league by passing down his seed, and his son will be drafted today to the ISFL. Will a team underestimate the son of the GOAT? Don’t be surprised if they do, as they underestimated the GOAT they will do the same for GOAT JR.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - TomHanks - 07-30-2020
4) The offseason is a critical reflection point for the league, during which the directions of entire franchises can shift dramatically. Choose any offseason up to and including the S21 Draft, and focus on a singular team. What strategies did this particular team employ to land the players they desired? What were the team needs during the offseason, and what was the overarching plan for the future? Did they lose or land any free agents that impacted roster holes? How have the players that they drafted contributed to the team?
Arguably the most important offseason in recent history for the New Orleans Second Line was the offseason between season 18 and season 19. Season 18 marked yet another losing season for the team, extending the streak which had been ongoing since season 12. In season 11 New Orleans was dominant, appearing in their 4th consecutive Ultimus. Following that, unfortunately the team fell apart. The rebuild really began in season 15, but it took a great deal of foundation building to turn around the franchise given where it was that year. After the boom that was the season 18 draft class, New Orleans was looking to build and become a competitive team in season 19. The first big project that offseason was signing Marcella Toriki in free agency. Over the course of the long offseason period, a tremendous amount of work was put in by the New Orleans our war room, including myself. Bex received a detailed PowerPoint presentation, including stat projections, future plans, a picture collage, and evidence that with her on the team and our development to that point we could be a playoff team despite our most recent record being 5-8 and most recent playoff appearance being in season 11. While that went on, we also had the draft going on. The season 19 draft was a massive one for New Orleans. Having traded away former 7OA pick Thudd Kassel to Philadelphia and WR Action Jackson to Chicago, we had 3 first round picks including 1 and 3 overall. With the first overall pick we brought in Mack Arianlacher. Sadly, Mack was taken from us in expansion in a move I will never forgive Dwyer for, however until that time, Arianlacher was a staple of the team. He won DRotY as a defensive end that season, and continued racking up TFLs and sacks for us. In addition, Mack was a great addition to our locker room. Speaking of great additions to our locker room, with the 3rd overall pick, we picked the now two-time tight end of the year, Austin McCormick. Noka has been one of our consistently most active LR members, is always a joy, and is a big part of our culture. On the field, McCormick has been getting better and better every season, and was a massive part of our season 21 Ultimus campaign. Continuing with the theme of two-time award winners, Mason Blaylock was drafted with the 8OA pick in this draft. Jay has been an exceptionally valuable part of the war room, and Blaylock’s back to back Safety of the Year awards speak for themselves. While Blaylock was a send down for season 19, his addition to the team is one of the most impactful parts of this offseason. With our next pick, 13OA, we selected another player who was stolen to Honolulu in the expansion draft: Jed Podolak. Our future WR1 had he not gone to the Hahalua, Jed was a big part of Stan Francisco’s success in season 20 and 21. The final acquisition NOLA made in this draft was trading for Herbert Prohaska. An incredibly talented and consistent kicker, Prohaska has been a staple to the special teams unit. Following the conclusion of the draft, Marcella Toriki finally made her decision. With all 10 teams vying for her, she decided to join us in New Orleans. Despite more free agent pitches than I care to admit, New Orleans had never signed a free agent that wasn’t a re-signing in my time on the team. This marked a new era for the Second Line, as rather than being consistently near or at the bottom of the league table, we were a team that a high-profile free agent wanted to play for. On the field, this move allowed Forrest Gump to play in a committee rather than at primary back, as well as open opportunities for him in the receiving game. That, combined with the development of the TE turned QB Stan Francisco started to completely reshape the New Orleans offence. Building on that, we were able to sign our second high profile free agent of the offseason, reigning WRotY Vinny Valentine. Vinny and Fyodorovich provided a veteran presence for the developing QB and WR corps on the team, and the wealth of targets meant that neither the young guys nor the vets got tired out. The result was a complete flip of our record, from 5-8 to 8-5 with not only a playoff appearance, but we hosted a playoff game that we won. While we fell to the Otters in the ASFC conference championship, it was a truly great accomplishment and a testament to all the work that had been put into the team. Thanks to that draft and FA period, we were able to position ourselves not only to win the Ultimus in season 21, but remain a competitive team for the foreseeable future.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - jeffie43 - 07-30-2020
13) I think Vegeta deserves to be nominated for the performance of the year award in the ISFL. Although his performance is up there with Waters' 3 INT performance, I believe that Vegeta went on to prove that he could truly do it all with a sack and one of the picks even going on to be returned for a touchdown. He even had this in an important win over San Jose to stop the Otters' 3 game losing skid against SJS. This game would eventually help the Otters clinch the ASFC and best record across the entire ISFL which was huge. Overall the game wasn't very close past the first quarter with the Otters having a 9 point lead (16-7 score) leading up until halftime, However the game was completely blown open in the 3rd quarter following a Vegeta interception as the unstoppable Orange County Otters put up 21 unanswered points with a Bigby 8 yard run, Philips 6 yard pass from Franklin Armstrong and finally a Tatsu Nakamura (Who deserves his own award nomination for Offensive Breakout Player of the Year and Running Back of the Year) 4 yard TD run. All this would be a result of Vegeta's game changing interception and it would even lead to Vegeta's 29 yard pick 6 in the 4th quarter, all just to seal the Sabercats' fate ultimately.
15) I think my favorite game this season might be the matchup with the Orange County Otters and the Sarasota Sailfish in Week 8. Facing Sarasota has always been a fun experience for me as RainDelay is a former teammate of mine and Frostbite was my old GM in Myrtle Beach and was my teammate for a season as well. They are both close friends of mine and I think it's always fun to have those friendly competitions between a couple of former teammates and such. Overall this game was a huge snorefest as both offenses were shut down pretty badly for the most part with rushing leader Tatsu Nakamura being held to 60 yards on 3.8 YPC and MVP favorite Franklin Armstrong being held to 11 attempts (and 5 completions) with 1 TD. However it was in this game where Vegeta had his true breakout game. He had a strong performance with 6 tacl;es. 1 sack. 1 pass deflection, 1 int and 1 last touchdown. This touchdown was absolutely game changing as it came in the 4th quarter in a super close contest to give his team, the Orange County Otters, the lead over the Sarasota Sailfish.
22) I think it would be really interesting to see a skills competition in the Pro Bowl. The NFL doesn't really do it well in my opinion but on the other hand, the NHL Skills Challenge feels really fun and has a great atmosphere to it. I feel like it would be cool to see the different players participate in different activities throughout the day (Presuming it's done over the course of a day) similarly to the combine we have in the wiki. TH does a great job running that and it's always fun to compare stats with your peers and mock them for being slow (Like Frost). This friendly competitive spirit can make any event fun and I strongly believe that it would be the same case if we did have a skills competition. One of the additions to the NFL Pro Bowl Skills Showdown that I'd be looking forward to the ISFL adding would be the QB Challenges where non-QBs take part. We've seen players like Adam Thielen shine in challenges like these and it would be interesting to see if any non-QBs can outperform real QBs especially considering the ultra low caps that non-QBs have in throwing/passing stats. Overall, I think that more content is better for the league and helps reduce the boredom from the long offseason process.
25) Garfield Despacito Jr was a player that the Orange County Otters got really late in the famed Season 22 ISFL Draft. Unfortunately he has not been called up by the Otters yet so I have no stats on his performance in the International Simulation Football League, however, he has been continuing to play for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers since being drafted. Unfortunately he still lacks the TPE needed to be a star one day in the ISFL but we in Orange County still believe in Gabe to turn it around despite what the rest of the league thinks about him. So far in Myrtle Beach Garfield "Gabriel Johnson" Despacito Jr. has had a disappointing career in the Developmental Simulation Football League. Let us begin with a look back at his initial waiver claimed player (Who was actually claimed by Kansas City despite what some others believe). On the Kansas City Coyotes, Garfield Despacito Jr was a horrendous player overall, netting 3 receptions in 4 games, good for 46 yards in total, yuck. In the following season, after being drafted in the 6th round by Myrtle Beach, Despacito Jr had another horrible experience in the DSFL as he only had 13 receptions in 14 games, good for 147 yards and 2 TDs. Yikeees. Fast forward to S22 where Gabe would have a breakout season with 48 receptions and finish the season with 630 yards and 7 TDs (Most in the league) and in current day DSFL, where he had a down year with 45 receptions. Good for 610 yards and 1 TD.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - Naosu - 07-30-2020
8)
Sarasota has the potential to be a future contender, but it’s going to take at least a couple more seasons to get there. The team is very young with a large core of S22 players and S23 making up the next biggest group of players. It’s going to be tough to reach the post season with the last two Ultimus winners, Yellowknife and Colorado in the division still looking strong. There is also Baltimore and Philadelphia who are on a similar timeline as us but approximately a season older. All the games between Sarasota, Baltimore and Philadelphia next season will be extremely important as that could easily decide who makes the 3rd seed in NSFC. However, Philadelphia had the only positive point differential of these three teams, and by a decent margin. I think it will be very tough for Sarasota to crack a top three spot in the conference next season so we need to focus on growing.
My information might be a tad outdated but I did a budget projection when I got drafted last season. The reason my hopes aren’t too high is the team will be mostly the same as this season with a small change. I think we’re not re-signing a player whose contract expires and Chris Ramos will be called up to take their place. This is mostly a lateral move and small TPE downgrade. Another important note is our new quarterback, Dexter Banks has now entered regression and there’s no one to replace him. I expect we’ll be taking a QB in round 2 or 3. I can’t find a full list of the draft order so I’m not exactly sure how many picks we have. As I mentioned earlier, our team is young and we’ll get stronger this season but Baltimore and Philadelphia will improve by roughly the same. My realistic expectations would be to finish 4th or 5th again in the NSFC.
To some positivity to this I think only looking at next season is short sighted. I think here in ISFL regression comes a lot quicker and Yellowknife is starting to be hit by it, Colorado will probably be feeling it too in a couple seasons. As long as Sarasota players can keep earning and stick around we might see a few seasons in a row where the NSFC playoff teams are Sarasota, Baltimore and Philadelphia. The next offseason will be interesting for our team as a large amount of contracts are expiring. I hope that we can manage cap well and it would be nice to be a place free agents want to sign.
11)
I don’t generally follow drama, but this particular scandal, if you can call it that happened as I joined the league and involved two people I know fairly well. Let’s paint a picture here. There is a player who has 57 TPE and has been inactive for a long time. 57 TPE means this player has only done a single activity check and training and nothing else. 57 TPE is barely useful for a DSFL team, nevermind an ISFL team. I bet there’s a ton of unsigned IAs that could easily take the place of this player. That’s not really the point of this though. So this person’s friend managed to convince them to come back and try the league again after having been IA for a couple seasons now. I’m sure everyone’s first instinct would be that they just picked up where they left off with their previous player who is about 3 seasons old with a single activity check and training, right? I’m just kidding, of course any reasonable person would assume they recreate since they’ve missed out on about 600 or so possible TPE for their career in a league with harsh regression. HO didn’t think this way though, they supposedly thought the person should continue on with their player and it was hurting the team they’re on if they retire. This sounds pretty deluded to me. It seems very counterproductive from an activity point of view to be upset at this person recreating. They’re halfway to regression with 57 TPE, that’s absurd.
The drama that arose from this scenario is the friend of the 57 TPE player was charged with tampering. For anyone not familiar with this scenario, the culprit was jeffie43. He had been appointed CoGM of Myrtle Beach merely a couple days before this happened and was stripped of his job and the ability to GM for a few seasons. All for what? Brining an active player back into the league at the cost of his 57 TPE corpse? The ex-57 TPE player, now known as Garfield Despacito Jr. has said that HO or the appeals team never even questioned him whether or not he was actually “tampered” and pushed through the sentence on jeffie like some dirty cops in America. This was a horrible time for both parties involved and anyone who speaks to them on the regular knows there was nothing here. There were no permanent changes I can think of from this. I do mention every now and then, that with the criteria from this I was essentially tampered into creating. I truly hope something like this never happens again and wouldn’t wish a “tampering” charge on even my worst enemy.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - roastfuego - 07-30-2020
1. When I joined the league back in late November there was a rivalry between me and a corner back who went by the name of Dre Uzond, or as he is better known Nuk. This is the story about why he is no longer a part of the league and as a warning to any new individual joining the league about what not to do/ how to absolutely destroy your draft stock. So Nuk was already a questionable character, coming into the league with a very aggressive nature, blocking individuals for not liking the same college as him (Auburn if I remember). Everyone saw Nuk as another version of Sweet James Jones, an individual who played a character with a chip on his shoulder and an ego bigger then Phillies championship drought. This lead to Nuk's DSFL stock starting to drop, unbeknownst to him. Nuk wanted to go in the first round to the Myrtle Beach Bucanneers, but ended up dropping to a later round to the Portland Pythons due to the aforementioned ego. Nuk was upset at the team he was drafted by, but ended up letting it slide to play for a team which is when his rivalry with Randy Vuxta started. The two played their first games, had to do a resim, and all of this lead to the incident.
One day, Nuk was talking in general chat of our discord when he revelaed that he believed that Disney would make a ton of money if they made adult videos about the cartoon characters they have created, mainly Anna and Elsa erotic fiction, going as far to say "Disney would make so much money if they made p**** of their movies." Everyone in the chat kinda laughed it off, made fun of the guy for it but that was only the beginning. Nuk then realized that everyone was taking him seriously and said "But stop taking like so seriously, none of the Holocaust matters, or any deaths, because everyone dies anyways". This lead everyone to believe that Nuk was a Nazi and very anti semetic, to which he said "I am not a Nazi". Nuk would then go on to condone murder. User Scorp asked him "Does that mean murder should be legal because everyone is going to die eventually?" to which Nuk responded "It might as well be" and "I'd be down for that." One of Nuk's final messages stated "I'm gonna murder with or without legal protection anyways." This was all within 30 minutes we found out Nuk was a Disney erotica Nazi pro-murder individual. The league then collectively roasted Nuk for his very anti-league beliefs to the point where he retired with a very prompt "Fuck you.", which was almost immediately locked on the forums to avoid anymore meming on our end and he has not been seen since. Nuk has one of the shortest tenures in our league, as he only played one game and because of resims that game did not count so he ended up playing zero career games (because Portland GMs quickly removed him from their depth chart).
Now why is this important? Well, it shows that the entire league can come together no matter who we affiliate with or what team we are a part of. It is one of the few times in league history that the league was united against one common enemy: Dre Uzond himself. Not only that, but it can serve that the league does have standards that we hold our users to. While we may have a rule book to go off of for overall league guidelines, we have a list of several moral codes, one of which is to not hate on an overall group of people and do not ignore complete tragedies because you believe they do not matter. Finally, it serves as a reminder to some rookies that there is a way to absolutely destroy your draft stock and to be careful about what you say and do around the league. As a new ISFL GMs, you always have someone watching how you act in your LR and especially general chat. You want to do everything you can as a new player to excel in the DSFL so you can end up making your mark in the ISFL.
This moment will go down in league history because it is a funnier example of a scandal when compared to other incidents that have occurred. We have several serious scandals that have lead to some interesting punishment threads (DD comes to mind) and Nuk allows us to see some nonsense that we can poke fun of and have a simple laugh at. Nuk is a joke at this point in the league, but also a story of warning that we tell around the campfire with incoming rookies. Nuk is also one of my favorite stories to tell because I still have screenshots from my conversation with him (how I was able to quote) and I knew Nuk well. So the story of Nuk will always live on through me, leading to the story living on in infamy.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - JaytheGreat - 07-30-2020
PBE CW
Tier 3
23) Present your argument for the playoffs MVP. Show their stats and impact on the games that they played.
I feel like in the ISFL only the offensive players get love so for playoffs MVP I'm giving it to Yellowknife LB and former teammate Douglas Quid. The LB made big contributions in every game, he had 2 sacks every game which by itself is an incredible achievement. To go along with his 6 sacks he racked up 24 tackles, 3 TFLs and a pass deflection. Quid was locked in during the playoffs and had a nose for the ball. While he had some teammates that make a strong argument for MVP nobody was as consistent as Douglas Quid. Considering most of the Wraith's games were defensive battles and not offensive shootouts it just shows how well he did at leading that stacked defense. In fact Douglas Quid won defensive player of the game in all 3 of the Wraith's playoff games, he really was a man on a mission and balled out.You can really see the impact on the games, consistent pass rush which is huge in today's high powered offensive game, along with being able to dissect the run game. Its really incredible how far he's come since being drafted, I always knew the talent was there but to see it unfold on biggest stage is great.
Tier 2
8) It’s always important to look forward to the future. Examine your team, and in 400 words or more, talk about how they can improve themselves to get a stab at trophy contention next year. Are you loaded with draft capital for the next draft? Do you have plenty of cap space to sign free agents? Go through the roster and note the different strengths and weaknesses, and how you think those will change over the next few seasons. How should your team adapt?
Looking up and down Honolulu's roster I would say that the defense is pretty set and we should turn our heads towards improving the offense. The Hahalua have some cap to spend but they also need to sign a K was their previous Kicker just opted to test free agency. They don't currently have a TE on the roster and starting QB Corvo Havran is a game manager who won;t win you any games but won't turn the ball over either. Starting RB Ruff RUff is a pend free agent and will be interesting to see if he stays around,if he doesn't then Honolulu will need to upgrade there. Defensively there is a giant hole at DE, but considering they have 2 outstanding DE's one can always slide to the inside if that's were management wants to go. The team could use someone to line up across the field from young stud CB Jim Waters. With having the 3rd pick in the draft Honolulu have a chance to draft an impact starter there or pick up someone who is close to competing after a year in the DSFL. There are few standout defensive line players in the upcoming draft and Honolulu would be smart to take advantage of that. Looking at the mock drafts at there, there really isn't a firm favorite at the number 3 pick. What helps Honolulu is that it's still a fairly young team that is constantly improving. They could use some veterans to help lead the locker room as most players are S19 or younger. I'd say the one area of the team that Honolulu is pretty set at is WR, Jed Podolak, William Alexander, and Jacoby Clay make up a solid core if management decides to air out the offenses a little more, but taking a QB in the 1st round is risky however as it's a very high TPE dependent position and usually the ones coming into the draft aren't ready to compete. That being said Honolulu already have a great QB prospect in Luke Skywalker, who could be called up to play this season. The Lefty QB is very smart with his passes and can accurately deliver them, his arm strength is good but could use some improving down the road. In conclusion if I has the GM I would be targeting DT, CB, and RB as my top needs, and when your picking 3rd you basically have your pick of whoever you want in the draft. With the expansion team going into it's 3rd season a few solid pick ups this offseason could lead them into the playoffs.
(S23) - Ultimus Week - Skyline - 07-30-2020
Tier 2
10) History is not always kind to the losers. Tell the story of a team who you view as an all-time great but who did not win the title game. Why was that team so dominant? What were the major focal points of their offense and defense, and who were the star players? What makes them so special? What was the reason that they ultimately fell short of immortal greatness?
Though maybe incredibly and irredeemably biased, the Season 22 Yellowknife Wraiths fall squarely into that category for me. Going 11-2, Yellowknife had a dominant romp not just through their own NSFC, where they had a 9-1 record, but also going 2-1 against the AFC. Further, Yellowknife put up dominant performances both at home sporting a 6-1 record, and on the road, going 5-1. This lead to a tremendous and league leading winning percentage of 85%, scoring more points than any other team with 406 points for and also locking it down on the defensive end by forcing only 196 points against, a league low. Coming off a 5 win streak going into the playoffs, it looked like Yellowknife was going to smash through the Yeti on their way to a title, and the narrative around Virtanen’s last season and one of Cooter Bigsby’s final shots at a ring were strong. This was on top of Acura Skyline’s offensive rookie of the year campaign, Nate Swift’s Wide Reciever of the Year campaign, Cooter’s own Quarterback of the Year campaign, and Matthias Hanyadi’s Running back of the year campaign, and MVP campaign on top of it. Yellowknife was a sack machine, terrorizing opposing quarterbacks and shattering Offensive Lines across the league into toothpicks and kindling. However, despite enormous offensive contributions from bell cow running back Matthias Hanyadi, the Wraiths ended up getting knocked out of the playoffs in a one point loss. The Colorado Yeti, let by a 79 Speed anticompetitive cheat code who I refuse to name, played a generally not amazing game, but unfortunately faced a Wraiths team that was far from on point. The Wraiths were gutted, crying in the locker room, and spending their summers alternating between the weight room and the therapists office. Many Wraiths players had already faced 4 or more tragic Ultimus losses, so though it hurt, it was still a familiar pain. Tragic is the only way to describe it. Though they were unable to close the door and secure the ring, the Wraiths came back in this very Season 23. They were motivated by the heartbreaking and traumatizing loss to hit the weight room, up their cardio programs, do a whole damn lot of steroids, and watch film (specifically Top Gun on 2x speed, because it is academically proven to boost your testosterone levels). It worked, and Yellowknife secured its destiny, letting Cooter ride off into the sunset as Hanyadi secured an MVP.
410 words.
Tier 3
22) Imagine that the league’s Pro Bowl included a skills competition similar to the NFL. What sorts of games could you see being implemented? Which players do you think would perform the best in ultimate frisbee, dodgeball, or other games? Which conference would come out on top?
Man, a Pro Bowl skills competition in the ISFL would be great, and beyond things like ultimate frisbee and dodgeball there are some really interesting options to showcase what players can do. The obvious are a karaoke competition, where I am sure the Chicago Butchers would come out as champions because they are great at making noise. I would also really enjoy seeing some darts, cornhole, and lawn bowling, but those probably would not bring the TV viewer ratings that would justify the event in the first place. You have to give the people what they want, and what they want is a tasteful yet risqué burlesque show, where professional exotic dancers score players based on their rhythm, choreography, attitude, and bulges. Yellowknife would win this competition without a doubt because they have not one, but two, different players who for some reason look exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the king of both attitude and bulges. Also, Bender B Rodgriguez is on the team, and he really knows how to work that shiny metal ass. Drinking games mixed with feats of strength would also be great to watch, like making players run a beer mile or doing some sort of biathlon chaos where they drink and then they shoot. No matter what, it would be a barrel of fun.
218 words.
24) The league is prone to change. Reflect on a past change in either the ISFL or DSFL that significantly impacted something - be it a rules change, an expansion or contraction, or even a complete rebranding. What were the effects of this change, and how has it shaken the status quo?
Obviously, the r/NFL recruiting classes every few seasons have an enormous impact on the league, leading to brand new expansion franchises and dramatic shifts in team expectations due to the expansion draft. Most recently, adding the London Royals and Dallas Birddogs to the DSFL, and adding the Sarasota Sailfish and the Honolulu Hahahahalaha (spelling may be incorrect) to the ISFL have been a big difference maker to both leagues. In the ISFL, it has added new games increasing the season from 13 to 16, which down the road could result in career records being smashed, and in the DSFL it added another place for young and upcoming players to show off what they have got in the hopes of turning ISFL scout’s heads. Another major change, that has been a long time coming yet pretty significant, is the recent shift from NSFL to DSFL. This means, one, that it will be easier to find because from an SEO perspective when I search NSFL I get a lot of, well, NSFL links, and two, that people won’t be put off because they make an incorrect assumption based on the leagues’ name. I am extremely excited to see what comes next, because all sorts of fun developments (like making award voter ballots public) are constantly mixing things up in new ways.
219 words.