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+---- Thread: *A Day In The Life Of Dan Schneider (/showthread.php?tid=10081)
*A Day In The Life Of Dan Schneider - LGMForever - 08-23-2018
Former Nickelodeon executive Dan Schneider has recently declared for the upcoming DSFL draft alongside many others. He had played as a safety on his high school football team but was a net negative in every aspect to the point that his team had almost attempted to throw him into a volcano as a means of getting rid of him. Many times he had held reservations to himself about leaving the team due to how much of a burden he was, but eventually decided to stick it out for the rest of his four years just so he could've had that to put on his resume. However, he dropped the sport after being a steaming pile of dog poo and eventually grew to work his way up the ranks of the Nickelodeon corporate ladder. All that would tumble eventually when it turns out Schneider really loved feet and would say some really fucking creepy stuff offline and a bunch of allegations and shit would come out. Taking up college football again, something changed for Schneider. It was almost like his entire life would be in jeopardy because of his reputation so he gained an extravagant amount of motivation to destroy some dudes and have his talent shine through before declaring.
Many may be wondering how a man as absolutely stunning as Dan Schneider operates on a day-to-day basic. No, you aren't? Well too bad, because we're gonna go through how Schneider lives his life.
It all starts early in the morning when Dan wakes up in his favorite jammies, an orange top and bottom with hints of white all around the garments. He still maintained these pajamas back from his Nickelodeon days and as much baggage as he'll clearly be carrying with him into his football career, never will he be able to let go of all of the good memories that accompanied him during his times with the company. There's just something about the glimmering colors of red, yellow and orange that engulf the sky as the sun comes up that Dan just holds a fascination of and loves to observe whenever his sleep cycle will allow him. He has even dedicated some of his savings into a stairway up to the top of the roof where he takes leisure in staring up while taking in a big hit from his bong, because no act of star gazing is proper without a nice high. By the time he's usually done taking a piss in his neighbor's flower bed while under the influence of whatever drugs he put into his system, the sun has fully risen above the horizon and breakfast beckons.
As a big boy football man, Dan knows that he always needs to eat the most protein and fatty foods as possible in order to bulk up his size so he's able to take down anyone coming at him. At one point he had actually hired an experienced biochemist all the way from Russia who holds a great knowledge of the arts so that Dan could learn of how he could become buff. The safety was a bit perplexed as to what the scientist had reported back to him, but decided not to question the profession. From now on, he always ensures to engulf 17 pounds of pig esophagus for breakfast, as they hold the perfect balance of good fats and protein that every human should strive for if they wish to enhance their strength and extend their lifetime. As any sophisticated person knows, you always need to have a drink at your side to quench your thirst from any savory meal. For Dan, he prefers a nice cold glass of strawberry milk to wash down all of the salt he experiences from reading all of the internet comments about literally anything.
Despite severely improving upon his abilities on the field ever since the disaster that was his high school, Dan always has aspects that he can improve upon to be a better player that can potentially equate the ability of the top NSFL players one day in a future season. Nearby his house is the same sports complex that he had been going to his whole life, even during his high school years when he couldn't be an adequate safety to save his life. In his times of need, Dan always was able to cry on the shoulder of Jerry Trainor, his greatest friend through good times and bad times. For hours on end months before declaring for the DSFL draft, Dan would run drills time and time again until he could perfect them with minimal flaws with the help of his bestie. By the end of each session, he'd feel a sense of pride in himself and revitalization that he hadn't felt since the days.
By the time Schneider returned home in the afternoon, he would practically collapse onto his couch from exhaustion, although he's a big boy so they always happen to fall apart. At the time that I am writing this piece of media, 841 couches have been slaughtered under the horror that is Dan Schneider's big bum. Anyway, that's no matter because Dan has some mad cash from the Nickelodeon days and is only now starting to lose the luxury of needing to splurge on whatever he pleased. In the end, Dan knows that he'll be able to redeem himself from what all of the allegations claim by being the best footballer that the world has ever seen. Man, I really spewed shit out for this media piece. LGM's gotta buy himself some weekly training.
*A Day In The Life Of Dan Schneider - RedCydranth - 08-23-2018
He's trying his best to be "Head of the Class".
Question: Are you still friends with Dan Frischman?
*A Day In The Life Of Dan Schneider - mckee29 - 08-23-2018
Nice article haha
*A Day In The Life Of Dan Schneider - HalfEatenOnionBagel - 08-23-2018
What a life
*A Day In The Life Of Dan Schneider - LGMForever - 08-23-2018
(08-23-2018, 02:28 AM)RedCydranth Wrote:He's trying his best to be "Head of the Class".
Question: Are you still friends with Dan Frischman?
Absolutely, he has the most marvelous feet that Schneider could ever ask for