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+---- Thread: *Another Interview with Laszlo Forty-Two! (/showthread.php?tid=13250)
*Another Interview with Laszlo Forty-Two! - C9Van - 05-03-2019
[Roughly 1666 words. Sorry when he sometimes talks in broken English lol]
Another interview stage finds the interviewer and special guest Laszlo Forty-Two on the stage getting. Eventually after a mic check the interview proceeds.
Interviewer: We're closing in on the DSFL draft and I'm being joined by Laszlo Forty-Two, the hungarian wide receiver. First of all, welcome to another interview!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Thank you. Laszlo is happy to answer ridiculous questions in feeble attempt to have strangers connect to him on personal level.
Interviewer: Errr...Right. Okay, well shall we start? Well, for those who don't know you or the fact you talk about yourself in the 3rd person. Could you give a little backstory or history of where you came from.
Laszlo Forty-Two: He can. Mr. Forty-Two was born and raised in glorious city of Budapest until 9 years old. He grow up big and strong. Whole family move to West Virginia for other 9 years of age. Learn English over time. Become good at catching egg shaped ball. Sports is speciality of Laszlo. Get chance to go professional. The Laszlo join draft to help team who pick him get points.
Interviewer: That is good and all but what about this religious cult you told us about last time or what you're like when not on the field?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Family move to join other followers. Laszlo join and become chosen member, destiny said to be a great wide receiver in league. So he come here to prove self. Nobodies business what happen behind closed doors. Cult not evil with sacrificing chickens to creepy death gods. Laszlo love chickens, make great friends and lay many eggs. Make everyone stronger too. Not dicks like Westboro Baptist Church. Just keep to self.
Interviewer: And the fact you changed your last name to a number?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Appeal more to fans than name nobody can pronounce. Is number of my cult he was given. Number Forty-Two. Simple.
Interviewer: And what about the real you?
Laszlo Forty-Two: He keeps to himself. Likes going to shop for products he needs once per week, eating at restaurants when hungry. The Laszlo trains. Takes it seriously everyday Sometimes lets out rebel side of me by missing leg day or not going to local gym. Drink water to continue hydration. Big key to success is hydration. Drink water more often kids.
Interviewer: I...see I guess. Well, rather than try to get blood from a stone I will be asking you of your opinion of the locations you could be finding yourself in. Now I understand you don't really know any personal nor seem to care who is a target or what team needs but I'd like to know your thoughts of the place.
So to begin with we have the Palm Beach Solar Bears.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Bear look like having good time in logo. Forty-Two not understand why Polar Bear find self in Florida but respect its decision to not care about what others think. Laszlo hear a lot about Florida man. Crazy person. But The Laszlo would put man in place. He would enjoy time in nice hot climate and play and grow with team.
Interviewer: The Kansas City Coyotes?
Laszlo Forty-Two: It confuses him how proud coyote find himself with purple colour. Want to know how this event became regardless of if sad story or not. Forty-Two would not cry. Have no opinion of Kansas City. It is location in United States like everywhere else. Mr. Forty-Two would be very happy to discover colour magic they possess and become fan favourite with team.
Interviewer: The Portland Pythons?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo has been to Oregon and Portland. He like weather in Pacific North West. Have awful issue of vegan problem but he believes they can overcome odds and remove them. Python is strong animal! Always threat. Would be honoured to become one with snake and wear number Forty-Two.
Interviewer: The Norfolk SeaWolves?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Tell me why East Anglia county region in England gain team?
Interviewer: They do not. It is the place in Virginia.
Laszlo Forty-Two: What a plot twist. Virginia pretty place, he enjoy time travelling through when new to country. Would happily play close to home. Unsure of what SeaWolverine could be however.
Has new species of fish been discovered? Have the wolves evolved to not need oxygen for 4 legged bodies? Do they even have 4 legs now? If drafted, I will learn secrets within.
Interviewer: The San Antonio Marshals?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The land of Texas is rumoured to have bigger versions of things. He respect the stat bulking up random stuff to make other states look puny. Hope they sort criminals out with police force thanks to the marshal in charge. Laszlo tell children not to do crime unless you can get away with it easily...Otherwise not worth trouble.
Interviewer: And finally The Tijuana Luchadores?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Story time. He venture to Gridiron Football game between 2 teams he forgets about. Hottest day of year by mile. Fan in front was in wrestling custom mask that had favourite team on it. Man wears mask for most of game. Laszlo gain respect for stupid man for commitment to watching his team get destroyed, easy way to hide crushing disappointment. Ever since Mr. Forty-Two gain respect to all Luchadores' players for wearing mask in Mexican heat. Laszlo would not wear mask, prefers beautiful face on show but would happily play for team.
Interviewer: Is that story about the fan true?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Da. He collapse 5 minutes before end due to dehydration. Everyone make fuss about him.
Interviewer: Did you rush to help him?
Laszlo Forty-Two: What? No, don't ask stupid questions, the game was still on.
Interviewer: Oh, sorry. Well, someone recently someone did an article about you being the #1 wide receiver available in the draft and overall quite a threat for all offensive players in it. Can I hear your response to hearing this news.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Is understandable. Laszlo great team player, a hoot at parties and for team morale. Player say it look like we lose, Forty-Two beat the positivity back into him until he wants to win again. Is never over until over. Laszlo honoured by words spoken about him. Clearly knew what he was talking about. Aim to prove him right by hurting opposition's pride.
Interviewer: So have any teams gotten in touch with you so far?
Laszlo Forty-Two: A handful decide to contact me personally. They dip toe into the pool of signing him, some have firm handshake indicating strong man with goal and fire burning within. Others would be crushed by baby goat in seconds.
Interviewer: I don't know what that means exactly, but was interest high?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Very. They know Laszlo is not liar. What you see is what you get and pound for pound he will crush enemies and laugh after game about how simple things were. Need someone to help overcome inexperience at level but he is adaptive and can be taught. Naturally, Laszlo is what teams need.
Interviewer: You're willing to play in other positions I hear too.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Don't make myself repeat. He is team player, whatever team direct Laszlo to do, he will do. Simple as.
Interviewer: I did mean to ask you this question last time but what is Hungary's Gridiron scene really like?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Pitiful. Don't misquote Mr. Forty-Two. Some great hopefuls and talent do exist, including youth with potential. However, not anywhere near to make league in other roles as competitive or good league. Laszlo would throw ball high into air with biceps, tank whole team like opening door and catch own pass. This no fun whatsoever. Hence why he comes to big league for real competition.
Hope one day Laszlo inspire Hungarians to try sport and make our country team great again. Hope to do respectable in world cup tournament one day.
Interviewer: I must say you did get a lot of haters on social media calling you overrated or weird sounding due to you always talking in 3rd person. Do you have any responses to the haters?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two feels sad about these people. Disappointed they judge quickly and with the same amount of disappointment as parents have for them. Knowing they will never leave basement area of house. Too much hate in life. Laszlo hopes they give second chance. Together we can crush opponents and hashtag humiliate them.
Laszlo adds hashtag reference to appeal to kids as that is what they use on the Twitter.
Interviewer: Err.. Yes, they certainly do. Moving along, We do have one question from a twitch user. They ask: “You seem pretty scary, like you'll hunt me down and terminate anyone who gets in your way. So what is the craziest thing you'd ever done in your life so far?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Ah, is quite complicated answer comrade. It would come down to 2 possible options. The first being Laszlo once stay up 30 minutes after bedtime to watch TV show.
Interviewer: Wait, is that it?
Laszlo Forty-Two: It is. Sleep is important, Laszlo enjoy sleep time. Was cranky for week due to his rebel phase of life.
Interviewer: Well, what is the other?
Laszlo Forty-Two: I beat man half to death with his own shin guards.
Interviewer: Wait, what?! Why?! How?!
Laszlo Forty-Two: Is lot of questions. Man insult Laszlo about god, hurt single feeling he has. I hurt single neck he possessed. As for how, Forty-Two unsure what you mean by how? Anything is weapon if have knowledge. Glad to hear he finally out of coma.
Interviewer: Well, on that bombshell will conclude this interview and we've gotten to know you a lot better but do you have any closing words for fans or anyone in particular?
Laszlo Forty-Two: He wants to thank people for listening to words. Hopes everyone is getting hyped for draft and teams are interested in Laszlo. Laszlo will work hard to crush rival team and make rival fans cry like babies that they are.
*Another Interview with Laszlo Forty-Two! - Duilio05 - 05-03-2019
Did you know Nero Alexander @shadyshoelace is the very first 42 in the DSFL. Ture story, for like four games in a row, the announcers called him "42 Alexander" instead of Nero.
Looking good man. Keep it up and you'll make a big splash.