International Simulation Football League
*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - Printable Version

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*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - br0_0ker - 06-11-2019

Hello everyone, welcome to my announcement. It's been a great couple of years here in the DSFL, and I have plenty of people to thank who have helped me along the road to becoming the player I am today. Firstly, my coaches, who believed in me every step of the way; my teammates, who've supported me through this journey and in the rediscovery of my father; and of course, the fans, without whom we would be nothing. This experience has been one of the greatest I have ever known, and, at times, incredibly humbling. To go from one of the all-time best high school athletes in Pennsylvania to competing with world class contemporaries, the leap was intimidating to be sure, but the challenge was willingly accepted. The path laid before me in the DSFL was one of trial and tribulation, but something for which I will be forever grateful. It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to my family in Norfolk.

But the past is the past. And it is time to move forward.

As the S15 season came to a close, I sat down and had long talks with my family, friends, industry professionals, and coaches in San Jose regarding the future of my professional playing career. Of course, my friends and family believe in my ability 100%, that through sheer determination, hard work, and practice, my natural talents would shine through.

I personally have to disagree.

As I sat in a room with my coaches, surrounded by data analysts and scouting professionals, we realized that it just would not be possible to attain the level of greatness my ambition pushes me toward every day I lace up my cleats, every time I strap on my gloves. The numbers suggested I would become merely average in the scope of NSFL history. And upon that realization, I broke down. Nothing has mattered more to me these past eight years than football. The countless hours I've spent watching film or on the practice field, nights I've spent on the jugs, all of the secrets I've sought from former NSFL players to improve my game, all of it was for naught. It felt as if my love for the game was being ripped right from my chest, and since I will never play for the pursuit of money, without the love for the game, what point is there to play any longer?

And so, though it is difficult to announce for it means a great deal of pain in my immediate future, I must announce my intent to have major cosmetic and reconstructive surgery this offseason.

Wait, did you think I was retiring or something? Ha, oh, no, the doctors in the room told me they could improve my abilities almost as soon as the first tear fell from my eye. The moment of heart-wrenching grief was short lived, for as soon as the doctors described to me the limits of my future potential, the swelling of happiness inside me overcame any lingering feelings of self-pity, and the tears immediately turned to ones of joy. I guess this is something they had considered a possibility even before drafting me, the scouts were well aware of my limitations but were inspired by my drive and success at the time despite said limitations. A love for the game is the one thing the doctors haven't been able to fix, apparently.

Going forward, things will be a little different, and immediately following the surgery it will be rough going. The surgery entails grinding down the bottom three inches from my legs, which I know sounds gruesome, but I've been walked through the theory and procedure a hundred times, and trust me, it's safe. The recovery process is surprisingly short. I would have assumed a multi-year recovery timetable considering the complete surgical detachment and reattachment of the ankles and feet, but apparently it will only be a couple months, enabling me to make my debut for the SaberCats in S16 as scheduled. They do not anticipate me missing any games during the regular season, and have even assured me that I would be ready to play in the preseason if I so desired (I do).

The surgery will make me shorter, yes, but faster and quicker as well. A lower center of gravity means I will be able to change directions better. With less body mass (weight reduction!) I will have improved respiratory capabilities, improving my stamina. My heart, which has been used to pumping blood through the entirety of my 6'6" frame all my life, will have less distance to pump, meaning more blood will reach my brain at a faster rate, increasing oxygen consumption and making me more intelligent. My arms will retain their length, giving me a reach advantage over players in the same height range, and my upper legs will retain their mass and explosive power, meaning I will be able to jump higher. My hands will remain, as always, impeccable.

But as they say, even the best laid plans often go awry. I have in place emergency measures should anything go wrong. My father is in complete control of my estate. Though I have the utmost confidence in my doctors and the procedure, technically it is still highly experimental, so much so that we will not be able to complete it in the United States. We will be leaving for Malawi this coming Friday, complete the procedure over the weekend, and return after a brief recovery next week. From there, the real work begins.

Attaining greatness in the NSFL.

Goodbye for now, and please bid farewell to this version of AE. The new and improved model comes out next week.


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - Baron1898 - 06-11-2019

Ahri Espeeyeeseetee? More like... Ahri Espeesurgery, am I right


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - br0_0ker - 06-11-2019

(06-11-2019, 02:56 PM)Baron1898 Wrote:Ahri Espeeyeeseetee? More like... Ahri Espeesurgery, am I right


claps


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - Baron1898 - 06-11-2019

(06-11-2019, 06:59 PM)steelsound Wrote:claps
Thank you, thank you very much


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - iamslm22 - 06-11-2019

:eyes:


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - infinitempg - 06-11-2019

Having seen @Dangles13 have the surgery and have success, I’m sure it will go well!


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - PDXBaller - 06-11-2019

I'm not mad... Just disappointed.


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - flyeaglesfly29 - 06-12-2019

I was sure that Ahri was becoming Ariana until I finished reading this haha.


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - br0_0ker - 06-12-2019

(06-12-2019, 07:02 AM)flyeaglesfly29 Wrote:I was sure that Ahri was becoming Ariana until I finished reading this haha.

I'd just stay Ahri in that case, and grow some fox ears


*AE OFFSEASON ANNOUNCEMENT - flyeaglesfly29 - 06-12-2019

(06-12-2019, 12:18 PM)steelsound Wrote:I'd just stay Ahri in that case, and grow some fox ears

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