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+--- Thread: An Apology (/showthread.php?tid=17984)
An Apology - bex - 01-23-2020
Opening up a chat to find out that your private messages are being broadcast to the entire league is a wild ride.
So let's talk.
Those are my words. And I will own them. Yes, I said these things. I think that we all have people we vent to. People we will say outrageous things to when we're fuming mad about something. Many of these things have also been removed from context and cherry-picked to show the worst.
I said things in a private chat with friends that I trusted. I said things when I was hurt, angry, frustrated, sad. I made jokes that were in poor taste.
I am sorry for anyone hurt by what I said. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.
Anyone affected who wants to talk through what I said and get closure on that is welcome to reach out to me directly.
To those who have concerns about my ability to act as commissioner after reading these messages, I understand your concerns. If you'd like to talk things through with a member of HO, you are welcome to reach out to one directly. If you would like to levy further concerns but do not want to speak with Head Office, I'd recommend reaching out to your GMs.
I've worked hard to separate things out for myself. There is Bex the Head Office member, who does her best to remain impartial and fair. Who understands that you don't have to be the biggest fan of someone to work alongside them. This is the Bex that stepped back on two occasions where there was a conflict of interest to make sure that a decision that was unbiased could be reached.
But behind the Head Office Bex, there is still a human being. One who has emotions and grudges and complicated interpersonal issues. This is not the Bex that I bring to the table when I show up to do work as commissioner. This is the Bex that I check at the door so that I can get work done and do what's best for the league.
The NSFL has become a family for me, for good and bad. Just as I don't get on with my biological sister 100% of the time, it is impossible for me to get on with every single member of the league 100% of the time. But at the end of the day, I'd do anything to put my sister in a good spot, even when I don't see eye to eye with her. I'd do anything to put this league in a good spot. I won't pretend to be perfect. I think there's more than enough evidence that I'm not floating around right now. I will say that I am human, I am capable of fault, and I am capable of admitting when I am in the wrong.
The things I said were not representative of my real feelings, but nevertheless, they were wrong of me to say.
I am sorry.
Bex