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*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - J0EB - 04-02-2020
NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison
In this article, I want to find pairings of NSFL and NFL teams. Basically the equivalent teams in each league. Why am I doing this? I don’t know, inspiration struck in a Norfolk Locker Room conversation and what started out as a joke became an article that I ended up actually writing (and am actually really impressed with myself for). Right off the bat I want to say thank you to the Norfolk locker room for giving me a few ideas for this article, and Isa for providing me with some free history lessons. Norfolk Best Folk. Anyways, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.
Obviously there are 10 NSFL teams and 32 NFL teams, so not every NFL team will be represented, but that just gives me more options of teams to match the NSFL teams to, so it works out nicely. Below is listed the 10 NSFL teams just in case you are unaware. Also, I am not including the expansion teams because they have no league history or standings so I don’t really have anything to use to compare them to an NFL team.
Making up the NSFC is the following,
-Baltimore Hawks
-Chicago Butchers
-Colorado Yeti
-Philadelphia Liberty
-Yellowknife Wraiths
And the ASFC,
-Arizona Outlaws
-Austin Copperheads
-New Orleans Second Line
-Orange County Otters
-San Jose Sabercats
In this article I use a lot of different methods of comparing teams; history, culture, statistics, current standings, etc. I threw it all together best I could to reasonably and fairly make these comparisons. Also, I switched the positions of Phili and the Otters so that their descriptions would make more sense. Now before I lose your attention, unless I already have, here are my comparisons.
Baltimore Hawks // Buffalo BillsThe main story for the Baltimore Hawks is lost Championship games. They’ve appeared in the Ultimus an impressive total of 8 times, second only to the Otters (and we’ll get to that later), but have only managed to win 2 of them. So the Hawks have 6 Ultimus loses. I’ll repeat that, the Hawks have 6 Ultimus Loses. This screams 1991-1994 Bills. Advancing to the Super Bowl a record 4 consecutive times, the Bills lost each time. Great teams and great playoff performances went to waste, without a single victory for them to cherish. At least the Hawks can look back on the two seasons they’ve won the Ultimus, but historically they have had great seasons come up short in the big game.
Chicago ButchersWith the recent chaos and negativity around the Chicago organization, I am choosing to pass on this comparison. I’ll admit that when I was writing this article I had some not very nice stuff to say about the Chicago organization. Then Steel quit the league. This made me rethink a lot of what I had planned, and I felt pretty bad about it, and under the circumstances of his quitting (namely harassment), I do not want to add to this long list of negativity. Instead I’ll say that while there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that he reads this, I wish him the best moving forward in his life outside the league and I am sorry for fading into the crowd and blindly going along with this negativity and mocking.
Colorado Yeti // Minnesota VikingsIf you talk to any veteran player about Colorado, the first thing they’ll say is that they’re cursed. They’ve only been to the Ultimus once despite 9 seasons with playoff appearances. That was in Season 13, where they lost a close game against the Otters 24-21. From what I can tell, and again from my interactions with veterans, the Yeti have terrible sim luck. A small example of this would be their 2 games against the liberty this year. At the time of writing this portion of the article, the Yeti are 6-5 and the Liberty are 3-8, with 2 of Liberty’s only wins coming against Colorado. The Yeti probably should have been able to win both those games, especially their home game, but the sim decided otherwise (and I am not trying to discredit the efforts of the Liberty here, but admittedly it’s a surprise that they pulled off both of those upsets). The Yeti have the 3rd highest average TPE per player, ahead of the 9-2 OCO, and a lot of people had them as favorites to win it all this season (which is definitely still possible) in the season's predictions point task. Now this is similar to the vikings in almost every way. Since 1990, the vikings have made the playoffs 15 times, losing 4 conference championship games, 4 division games, and 7 wildcard games. They’ve had great teams during that 30 year span, but were never able to make it all the way to the Super Bowl. The 1998 Vikings with the trio of Randall Cunningham, Randy Moss and Chris Carter, could be argued to be one of the best teams in history, but they failed to reach the Super Bowl. The Yeti and the Vikings both share this failure in the playoffs, and that is what makes them so similar.
Orange County Otters // New England PatriotsAh yes... the dynasty. The Orange County Otters have been to a whopping 9 championship games. They’ve won 8 of them. Seasons 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 17, 18 and 19 all ended with the Otters winning the Ultimus. Their only loss came in season 7 to the Philadelphia Liberty (which we’ll get to later). While it’s impressive that the Hawks reached the championship game 8 times, the Otters have won it that many times. An undeniable dynasty that has lasted since the early years of the league (with admittedly a few seasons of rebuilding in between), and is still a force to be reckoned with. With their seemingly endless playoff victories, I don’t think I need to explain why they are the NSFL version of the Patriots, who have been to 11 Super Bowls since 2001, and won 6 of them.
Yellowknife Wraiths // New Orleans SaintsAt first, I almost compared Yellowknife to the Bills as well because of their recent struggles in winning an Ultimus, losing 3 straight. But I thought it would be kinda cheap to do that so I tried thinking of other teams with some recent playoff losses (not the greatest thing to first think of when you think of Yellowknife btw). To me, the Saints stood out. The Saints won the Super Bowl in 2009, but since then, they have 6 playoff losses. They’ve had really good teams in recent years, but they were never able to make it back to the big game. Most recently, in the past 2 seasons, they’ve made it to the playoffs and hosted the wild card game against the Vikings, and the NFC championship game against the Rams, but lost both. These are home playoff losses, so they sting bad. I think you know where I’m going with this. Even as a rookie I know that losing at home has become the prime method of making fun of Yellowknife. All three of their recent Ultimus losses came at home. It’s an unfortunate thing to be the descriptor of your team, but they are looking to overcome that narrative.
Arizona Outlaws // Arizona CardinalsAlright I’ll admit. I may be a little biased here. I’m an Arizona Cardinals fan so of course I’m gonna compare the Outlaws to them. Not only does it make things easier for me since I already know about the Cardinals, but I think it’s also a pretty good pairing. The Cardinals have had a lot of bad years in my lifetime, but they’ve also had a few shining seasons, like the Super Bowl run in 2008, or the playoff run in 2015 to the NFC Championship game. These years were fun and exciting, but they came littered amongst some terrible years. Terrible years where we had Kevin Kolb, John Skelton or Matt Leinart for example as our starting QB’s. What I’m saying here is that the Cardinals have had some good, but a lot of bad. Now, in the 16 seasons since Season 5, including Season 21 because at the time of writing this portion the regular season has ended, the Outlaws can be described in the same way. In this time span, they have had 6 winning seasons to 10 losing seasons. Now that might not sound too bad, but in a league where teams regularly make the Ultimus back to back (to back) years, it’s definitely not great. They won the Ultimus in season 16 after going 7-6, which is impressive might I add, but that’s the only Ultimus they’ve been to since Season 3 (which we don’t talk about). The Outlaws have just had a lot of years where they haven’t been good, much like the Cardinals. But the thing that I arguably find most similar between the Outlaws and the Cardinals is their shared potential in the coming seasons. The Outlaws have one of the youngest teams in the NSFL and currently hold the most picks in the Season 22 draft, which just so happens to be one of the best drafts in the history of the league. The Cardinals, with Kyler Murray at the helm, and the surrounding cast of Larry Fitzgerald, Deandre Hopkins, Christian Kirk, and Kenyan Drake, are also looking to be exciting next year, and with the 8th pick in the draft, could bolster what has already become a stronger team than last year in free agency alone (thank you BoB). The Outlaws and the Cardinals both have incredibly promising futures and that is why they are the perfect match.
Austin Copperheads // Carolina Panthers/Denver BroncosAustin was an expansion team in the 16th season of the NSFL, similar to Carolina who joined the NFL in 1995. In only their fourth season Austin won the Ultimus, led by a strong defense which only gave up 260 points, the best in the league. The Copperheads tied for 1st in takeaways at 21, tied for first in passes defensed with 71, and 3rd in the league for sacks with 41. Their defense was able to make plays almost constantly. Similarly, the Carolina Panthers defense was one of the best in 2015, with the most takeaways at 39, and tied for 6th least in yards and points allowed. The Copperhead offense was middle of the pack, rated 6th in the league for passing offense and 8th in rushing yards. Their offense did their job though, and the team finished the regular season with an 8-5 record. This is the biggest difference between the Panthers and the Copperheads. The Panthers started off the 2015 season 14-0, devastating their opposition with their fantastic offense and defense. As such, a case could be made for the Copperheads to be compared to the Denver Broncos instead, during that same 2015 season. The Broncos defense was top of the league as well (considered by most to be the best), but one of the biggest negatives of that Broncos team was that their offense was pretty bad, and that the team relied almost solely on their defense. Austin’s offense definitely wasn’t terrible, so I found it difficult to compare them to that Broncos team. I’ll leave the final decision to up to you on whether they more closely resemble Carolina or Denver.
New Orleans Second Line // ’85 BearsThe Second Line started out the season with a crazy winning streak, being only the 3rd team in NSFL history to start 9-0. They then lost weeks 10 and 11, but their 9-2 record is still impressive. Both their offense and defense has been firing on all cylinders, currently leading the league in points scored at 331 (an average of 30.1 per game) and second in points allowed at only 199 (an average of 18.1 per game) in the first 11 games. They have the highest average TPE in the league, and the most TPE on the defensive side of the ball by far at 8505, almost 1000 TPE over the next highest (YKW have 7634). This team to me screams the ‘85 bears, whose defense ranked first in the league, allowing only 198 total points, a crazy low average of 12.4 per game. This is extremely high praise for the second line, but I stand by it. Even if their team hasn’t forced as many turnovers as others (they’re actually in a three way tie for the least forced turnovers with 9), their bend don’t break attitude on defense, and their high flying offense has earned them this comparison. Here’s hoping they release their own version of the Super Bowl Shuffle in the weeks to come.
Philadelphia Liberty // New York GiantsEvery dynasty (OCO/NE) has their kryptonite, and Philadelphia is the only team to beat the Orange County Otters in the Ultimus. Giving the OCO dynasty their only loss out of 9 Ultimus appearances, the Liberty are a team that struck down a powerhouse. OCO was 12-2 that season and the favorites in a home Ultimus game, facing the 10-4 Liberty. This game closely resembled Super Bowl 42, where the 16-0 Patriots went up against the 10-6 Giants. In the Ultimus, neither team ran for more than 100 yards, with the majority of their yardage coming through the air. This same story applies to the Super Bowl, where neither team ran for more than 100 yards, with New England only rushing for 45. Another similar statistic which stands out in both games is sacks. The Otters QB Mike Boss was sacked an incredible 7 times, and Tom Brady for the Patriots was sacked 5 times. I’ve already compared Orange County to New England, so it makes sense for Philadelphia to be New York. Much like how the Giants defeated the Patriots in the Super Bowl and prevented them from achieving the perfect season, the Liberty gave the Otters their only Ultimus loss out of 9 appearances.
San Jose Sabercats // Los Angeles ChargersSo San Jose is one of the quietest teams in the league, they don’t really make too much noise. They’re sitting at 4-8 at the time of writing this, so they aren’t the worst team in the NSFL, but like, I never hear anything about them. I know nothing about their team compared to AZ and Philadelphia for example, and while both those teams maintain a worse record than San Jose, I atleast know that they’re building upon a young team and are hopeful for the future. I know that the Sabercats are in this rebuild process too, but no one really talks about them. Now anyway you may be saying, how does this relate to any NFL team? Well, let me ask you, what team in the NFL is the quietest or the least exciting? The LA Chargers. The Chargers aren’t an exciting team, and they kinda just fade into the background. I mean come on, it’s a popular joke that the Chargers have no fans except for Phillip Rivers’ kids. Granted the Chargers did have a successful season in 2018, finishing 12-4 and making it to the divisional round of the playoffs (only to lose to the Patriots). But they really weren’t an exciting team even then. The Rams were exciting and the Patriots were the Patriots obviously, but the Chargers were just there. From what I remember, no one expected them to actually make the Super Bowl. Besides a couple years in recent history, the Chargers have just been mediocre if not bad. I know San Jose has had a few successful seasons, including an Ultimus win in season 14, but they also don’t seem to make a big splash in the NSFL, compared to the other teams. To me, this is why they’re similar to the Chargers.
And there you have it! 9 NSFL teams and their equivalent NFL partners. This article took me a long time to write and I went through a lot of research to make it as accurate as possible, so I must thank you dear reader for taking the time to look through it. If you have any ideas or differing viewpoints you’d like to share then I’d be more than happy to hear them and discuss below!
TL;DR
-Baltimore Hawks // Buffalo Bills
-Chicago Butchers
-Colorado Yeti // Minnesota Vikings
-Philadelphia Liberty // New York Giants
-Yellowknife Wraiths // New Orleans Saints
-Arizona Outlaws // Arizona Cardinals
-Austin Copperheads // Carolina Panthers or Denver Broncos
-New Orleans Second Line // ‘85 Bears
-Orange County Otters // New England Patriots
-San Jose Sabercats // Los Angeles Chargers
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - KoltClassic - 04-02-2020
least exciting gang
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - Lightnoir - 04-02-2020
Love it JOEB, very fun and clearly well researched article. We'll see how Chicago ends up, but their situation sort of reminds me of the 49ers and the massive losses that program went through a handful of years back. Here's hoping Chicago can bounce back like they did!
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - Tesla - 04-02-2020
Great job on this J0EB! A lot of comparisons I would not have expected, but all look well thought out. I love it!
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - siddhus - 04-02-2020
49ers best 9ers
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - Thiath - 04-02-2020
Are you seriously trying to tell me the chaos in chicago isn't at least somewhat comparable to Bill O'Brien or the Jets?
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - nunccoepi - 04-02-2020
(04-02-2020, 10:25 AM)J0EB Wrote:
The main story for the Baltimore Hawks is lost Championship games. They’ve appeared in the Ultimus an impressive total of 8 times, second only to the Otters (and we’ll get to that later), but have only managed to win 2 of them. So the Hawks have 6 Ultimus loses. I’ll repeat that, the Hawks have 6 Ultimus Loses. This screams 1991-1994 Bills. Advancing to the Super Bowl a record 4 consecutive times, the Bills lost each time. Great teams and great playoff performances went to waste, without a single victory for them to cherish. At least the Hawks can look back on the two seasons they’ve won the Ultimus, but historically they have had great seasons come up short in the big game.
We actually made this comparison a lot when I was on the team. It def felt that way sometimes.
(04-02-2020, 10:25 AM)J0EB Wrote:
If you talk to any veteran player about Colorado, the first thing they’ll say is that they’re cursed. They’ve only been to the Ultimus once despite 9 seasons with playoff appearances. That was in Season 13, where they lost a close game against the Otters 24-21. From what I can tell, and again from my interactions with veterans, the Yeti have terrible sim luck. A small example of this would be their 2 games against the liberty this year. At the time of writing this portion of the article, the Yeti are 6-5 and the Liberty are 3-8, with 2 of Liberty’s only wins coming against Colorado. The Yeti probably should have been able to win both those games, especially their home game, but the sim decided otherwise (and I am not trying to discredit the efforts of the Liberty here, but admittedly it’s a surprise that they pulled off both of those upsets). The Yeti have the 3rd highest average TPE per player, ahead of the 9-2 OCO, and a lot of people had them as favorites to win it all this season (which is definitely still possible) in the season's predictions point task. Now this is similar to the vikings in almost every way. Since 1990, the vikings have made the playoffs 15 times, losing 4 conference championship games, 4 division games, and 7 wildcard games. They’ve had great teams during that 30 year span, but were never able to make it all the way to the Super Bowl. The 1998 Vikings with the trio of Randall Cunningham, Randy Moss and Chris Carter, could be argued to be one of the best teams in history, but they failed to reach the Super Bowl. The Yeti and the Vikings both share this failure in the playoffs, and that is what makes them so similar.
Honestly, not a bad comparison. Although the Yeti went to the first Ultimus. So we've made two total appearances.
Good article!
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - J0EB - 04-02-2020
(04-02-2020, 12:26 PM)nunccoepi Wrote:We actually made this comparison a lot when I was on the team. It def felt that way sometimes.
Honestly, not a bad comparison. Although the Yeti went to the first Ultimus. So we've made two total appearances.
Good article!
Thanks for the input! I'm glad that the research I did paid off. I did miss the Yeti in the first Ultimus though... whoops.
thanks for reading!
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - J0EB - 04-02-2020
(04-02-2020, 11:16 AM)Thiath Wrote:Are you seriously trying to tell me the chaos in chicago isn't at least somewhat comparable to Bill O'Brien or the Jets?
I mean...
I could see it, but like I said in the article Chicago has already received a lot of harassment recently and I didn't want to add on to it.
*NSFL vs. NFL Team Comparison - Opera_Phantom - 04-02-2020
I'm just a prettier Kyler Murray.