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+---- Thread: *The Case For Bayden Brosley (/showthread.php?tid=20816)
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - sensual-snickers-bar - 04-05-2020
The Case For Bayden Brosley
Hello. I am Bayden Brosley. You may know me as the tackling MACHINE, rugged WINNER, and GENERATIONAL athletic talent. However there’s also something about me that you may not know; I also have a cerebral and dizzying intellect when it comes to draft advice. And my advice? Draft the man known currently as Bayden Brosley 1st overall.
Now I know you doubters may be thinking “but Broz! You’re currently projected to be drafted in the 5th round! You’re not even ranked in the top ten CB prospects!” Well to that I say “shut up”! Today, I’m gonna offer GMs some valuable scouting information on the future face of the league. Free of charge.
Reasons Bayden Brosley Should be Drafted 1.1 Overall
Reason 1: Tackling God
Here in Norfolk, i've developed a legendary reputation for tackling. As of writing this, I currently have 95 tackles, 3rd most amongst CBs.
My training regimen is simple; everyday I wake up at 4:30 am, make coffee, go outside and tackle 10 random strangers every morning.
You read that right. I tackle 10 random, innocent people every day.
I’ll tackle anyone! Old, young, sick, healthy, doesn’t matter for ol Broz! As a result, my tackling stats have ballooned.
Reason 2: I Get Picks, You Don’t
As of writing this, I have a staggering, dizzying 1 interception. Many around the league have called this the GREATEST interception of all time. The opposing QB was rumoured to have filed a police report after the fact.
MANY smart people have said that “watching a reply of this interception may be dangerous for children”. They said it, folks. Trust the experts!
Reason 3: I tip 30%
Local pizza deliverers rejoice! I bet you only tip 20-25%, you sick monsters. Believe it or not, pizza delivery guys/gals FIGHT each other to deliver my 10 pizzas every day, because the tips are HUGE. BIG. Much like my tackle numbers.
Reason 4: I send my teammates valentines cards, even if I am not in love with them, because we all make supermodels look prepubescent. We wear the freshest clothes, and hang with the hottest dudes.
I‘ll admit it; the Norfolk Seawolves are the best looking team in the DSFL. This is a commonly accepted fact. I love them all, so I express this accordingly. The other teams ask us for fashion advice in between snaps. THIS IS TRUE!
I will single handedly improve the overall looks of your team TENFOLD. That is more valuable than ANYTHING the OTHER top prospects will give you.
Reason 5: Coverage
My zone coverage skills are actually ranked in the 85th percentile among CBs by experts and analysts. In addition, according to advanced metrics, I rank among the top cornerbacks on both sides of deep cover 2 zone coverage, with QBs throwing at an average passer rating of 76.5 when passing towards me while in Cover 2.
Reason 6: I’m tall
Standing at a MASSIVE 6’3, I am the tallest man alive. This is a FACT. “Sultan Kösen”? Never heard of him. If anyone knows of someone who claims to be taller than me, tell me. I will cut their ankles off.
In conclusion, I believe I have stated enough facts to convince every GM of my generational abilities. Passing on me will likely result in your immediate dismissal. Thank you for reading, and I love you all.
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - ScorpXCracker - 04-05-2020
Well, you've got me convinced
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - J0EB - 04-05-2020
Quote:Reason 4: I send my teammates valentines cards, even if I am not in love with them, because we all make supermodels look prepubescent. We wear the freshest clothes, and hang with the hottest dudes.
Can confirm. I did receive a very sweet valentines day card. I don't know how this man knew a month in advance I would be playing in this league or even on the same team as him, but I think it just goes to show how big brained he is. GM's draft this man.
P.S. I do wear all the freshest clothes
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - sensual-snickers-bar - 04-05-2020
Quote: I don't know how this man knew a month in advance I would be playing in this league or even on the same team as him, but I think it just goes to show how big brained he is.
@ScorpXCracker
whoops............
i mean yes. planned. i saw the future. goat material, truly!
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - Big Edd - 04-05-2020
30% tip?? gosh how are u not in the nsfl already
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - Lightnoir - 04-05-2020
I am one of the hottest dudes he hangs with and can confirm everything he said. Bayden tackled me 11 times this week, every one better than the last.
*The Case For Bayden Brosley - Tesla - 04-05-2020
A strong case you make for Bayden Brosley. Respect the hustle.