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*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - nickyvmlp - 05-15-2020
Some might say it’s a little too early to make a mock draft for the upcoming season. To those people I say, “shut up, my Award Head job ain’t paying, I gotta do something to keep the lights on. Also, I legally can’t make a mock draft when the actual time for that comes since I’m still in San Jose’s war room, and I know the results ahead of time. There’s still four weeks left in the season, so I had to do a bit of prognostication to figure out who would pick where, so after much deliberation, here’s where I think everyone lands.
Baltimore (1-12)
Chicago (2-11)
Honolulu (3-10)
Arizona (4-8-1)
Austin (5-7-1)
Colorado (7-6)
Sarasota (7-6)
Philadelphia (8-5)
New Orleans (9-4)
San Jose (10-3)
Yellowknife (10-3)
Orange County (11-2)
First off, despite starting a cardboard cutout at quarterback, I think the Butchers will get a shock win over the Hawks, blowing their chances at the #1 overall pick. Well, not their chances, because they don’t have their first round pick but still, it’ll be amazing. No other huge surprises here, besides maybe Sarasota getting into the playoffs, thanks in large part to Rose Jenkins leading the Sailfish on a late-season push, and the Yeti’s continued downward spiral.
1.
Baltimore Hawks select Greedy Sly, safety, London Royals 
The Hawks are a very young team, and a lot of their problems will get resolved with time, but their biggest, most brightly glowing weak spot is at safety. They traded away Logan Uchiha earlier this season, leaving the aging Walt Green as their only safety on the roster. They did draft a couple of players in the later rounds of the last couple of drafts but they’ve gone ghost, so now this is a dire need. Greedy Sly currently has the highest TPE of any player in the draft, and has been putting out some fantastic content, including his podcast, The Sylphreni Show where he interviews some of the biggest names in the league (which I’m listening to right now). He’s a perfect fit, and should start almost immediately for the Hawks.
2.
Colorado Yeti (from Chicago) select Tyrone Woods, linebacker, Myrtle Beach Buccaneers 
Last year, the Butchers needed to trade for John Smirh, who had just become a Chicago co-GM. This is that pick, the Yeti appreciate doing business with you. The Yeti have Mo Berry, one of the league's best defenders, and Tony Gabagool, an underrated linebacker who isn’t the most consistent in the world with the updates. Both players are in regression (and impending free agents), and while Berry could probably go for a few more years, Gabagool may start to deteriorate, and since they don’t have any active linebackers waiting for a call-up, Woods should be on the top of their list. Woods’s user has experience dating all the way back to Season 3, and is a terrific graphic artist. He’s had a good amount of experience, but could still learn a lot from two of the best linebackers of this generation.
3.
Honolulu Hahalua select Heinrich Kackpoo, linebacker, Portland Pythons 
At first glance you might think Honolulu needs to go safety, as they only have an inactive Joseph Wozniak as their only safety. Not so fast however, they drafted a couple of safeties last season, Buck Thornton and Shawn Dawkins, both of who could easily start next season. The more pressing need to me is at linebacker, where they have a retiring Jaylen Storm, an ancient but still active Alex Selich, and an inactive and regressing Sandip Bakshi. Jack Banks will get called up, that only solves one of their problems. Kackpoo could fill another one of those spots and do so seamlessly. He’s been incredibly active with articles and updates, and should be a fixture in yellow and blue for the next several seasons. If this is the case, expect next year’s Hahalua corps to be Mack Arianlacher, Banks, Kackpoo, and Selich for one more season.
4.
Arizona Outlaws select Hingle McCringleberry, linebacker, Dallas Birddogs 
The Outlaws are a hard team to peg a need for because this team is both incredibly young (only three players are from before Season 20) and also incredibly active (literally every player on the roster has been on in the last day or so). So anyone who goes there will likely be depth for a little bit, and don’t be surprised if the Outlaws trade down. The best I could come up with here is a third linebacker to go alongside the breakout star Galf Wilf and the tackle-mad rookie Stanislaw Koniecpolski, and that would be Hingle McCringleberry. They mostly run nickel defense right now, so another linebacker may not be necessary, but it’ll let them run a few different formations at least.
5.
Honolulu Hahalua (from Austin) select Ray-Ray Jackson, cornerback, Minnesota Grey Ducks 
Back on the clock are the Hahalua, and this time, I see them going secondary. Emondov Emoji spent a lot of time not updating, and while he’s active again, he is regressing. And Victor Moreno has been MIA for two months. Brayden Brosley might get a call-up, but his growth stalled out for a bit, and I could see them grabbing another option. Jackson is the first player on this list who might not get called up right away, and could be an eventual replacement for Emoji in a year, but locking down their corner of the future will help make this a successful draft out in Hawaii.
6.
Colorado Yeti select L’Carpetron Dookmarriot, safety, Myrtle Beach Buccaneers Part of me wants the Yeti to take Son Goku, because he just keeps sliding, but the big draw of this draft is in the linebackers and the secondaries, and with the Yeti’s two picks of the first round, they grab one of each. Right now, they have Logan Uchiha as their third safety, who’s in the final year of his contract. He’s putting up solid numbers, so if he leaves in free agency, it might be good for them to add another safety to fill his shoes, and that could be Dookmarriot.
7.
Sarasota Sailfish select Son Goku, defensive end, Kansas City Coyotes 
One of the best players in the draft, Son Goku just kept sliding and sliding, and Sarasota is more than happy to snag him if no one else will. Steco Ocewilder is a good end, but with Fabricio Baldari and Mike Franchet’s impending retirement, the defensive line has now become a serious concern. I had to check to make sure Goku hadn’t been around longer, because it feels like he’s been doing this for a while, despite the fact that this is his first player. Steal of the draft so far.
8.
Philadelphia Liberty select Tyler Montain, defensive tackle, Dallas Birddogs Like Goku, Tyler Montain was another guy who kept going down because he didn’t play in the back seven, but this works just fine because the Liberty need defensive line help. They have zero DLs who update regularly, including one who’s a GM for them. They will be able to call up Mario VonPebbles, and him, Montain, and ILove Gimmy could make up the start of a solid line, but there’ll still be more work to do here.
9.
Sarasota Sailfish (from New Orleans) select Mikel van Perkins, cornerback, London Royals At first, I really thought the Sailfish were going to go QB, since Rose Jenkins is retiring, Zack Vega hasn’t updated all season, and even Tom Sofa has gone bye-bye. But then I realized they traded for Chris Ramos, so he’ll probably be their starter next season. After that whole mess, their next biggest need may be corner, as they’ll eventually need a replacement for Lucas Knight, who’s already one season into regression. Plus Jordan Andrews is in the last year of his contract, so it may be best to be safe rather than sorry.
10.
San Jose Sabercats select Bob Bob, safety, London Royals There are higher rated safeties on the board than Mr. Bob, but there’s history between Bob’s user and the Sabercats (Bob’s user is currently Dan Wright), it’s a serious area of need (they only have a retiring Trey Staley, an inactive Oswald Grimnir, and Brandon Lanier in the minors), their second round pick will be used on a GM, and they don’t have a third round pick. If San Jose waits too long, they won’t get him, so they’ll get their Bob here at 10, although they could realistically trade back into the second round, and still probably get him.
11.
Yellowknife Wraiths select Carl Wheezer, defensive tackle, Kansas City Coyotes As long as I’ve known the Wraiths, their philosophy has been “best player available, position be damned”. Right now, that’s Kai Sakura, but the Wraiths have an overflow of receivers, both on the main roster and in the minors. Same for quarterback, but defensive tackle may be it. Yellowknife currently has five DLs on the main roster, and one of them, Chad Maulalo, is in the final year of his contract and entering regression, so he should be easily replaceable. On top of that, Wheezer’s user is already on the Wraiths as Laszlo Fourty-Two. It’s almost too perfect.
12.
Orange County Otters select Kai Sakura, wide receiver, Minnesota Grey Ducks The run on defenders finally ends with the Otters. This is another case of the best player available here, but I think Kai may stay down for a year. Hugh Mongo is still their top dog, but he’ll start regression next season. Right now they have Future Trunks and eventually Garfield Despacito behind him, but Sakura could easily find a spot to shine in a year or two. Seems like a good fit right there.
13.
Baltimore Hawks select DB Jadakiss, safety, Norfolk Seawolves 
I remember back in Season 15, the Hawks took two safeties in the first two rounds and won the Ultimus that season. While I don’t think that’s quite what we can expect from next season’s Hawks, I think safety is a very serious need for them, and could double dip here in the draft.
14.
Chicago Butchers select Tychondrius Hood, wide receiver, Minnesota Grey Ducks Nice to see the Butchers participating in the draft process this season. The Butchers have a lot of needs to address, so I think the best option here is just “best player available, and that right now is Tychondrius Hood. The Butchers only have one active receiver, so getting a complement to Sean O’Leary would definitely help their future starter George O’Donnell get acclimated to the majors.
15.
Austin Copperheads (from Honolulu) select Tycker Om, defensive end, Tijuana Luchadores 
The Copperheads have half of a good defensive line, on one side Kyle Idlewyld and Troen Eggheads. Great. On the other side, two inactives and Grayson Kuusela, could be better. Tycker Om could step in right away and help patch up one of the league's worst run defenses.
16.
Arizona Outlaws select Nicholas Ayers, running back, Myrtle Beach Buccaneers I honestly don’t know what to do with this team, they don’t even have many impending free agents that could open up some holes, you’re killing me guys. Nicholas Ayers feels like a safe bet here, they could use a second running back behind Baby Yoda, and while they already have a couple on the backburner, Jacoby Batista’s growth has slowed to a crawl, and Zed Keppler has been inconsistent in his updates. Ayers has almost matched Keppler’s TPE despite a season’s worth of a head start.
17.
Honolulu Hahalua (from Austin) select Bane Ka?an??an?, defensive tackle, Tijuana Luchadores We now come to the part when players have to select their GMs, beginning with the Hahalua getting Bane (Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V) Ka?an??an?. I don’t think he’ll be staying at DT for long, the Hahalua defensive line is really young and pretty active. Maybe I could see him booting out someone, or maybe staying down for another season to improve while waiting for someone’s contract to expire, but I think the best scenario would be for him to move to another position, maybe tight end.
18.
Baltimore Hawks (from Colorado) select CJ Riley, defensive end, Portland Pythons Another GM player here, but this time, the player matches up to the team's needs. Terry Taffy is old, Sardine Bean is inconsistent, no one on the line is above 400 TPE, and their call-up possibilities have dried up. Riley could be a day-one starter for them, and would be a solid anchor for this defense.
19.
Arizona Outlaws (from Sarasota) select Reginald Covington III, quarterback, Kansas City Coyotes You guys again? How much more do I have to deal with you guys? *checks their draft board* Oh good, you guys have three more picks in the third. Terrific. Right now, RC3 is the highest rated player on the board. They drafted George O’Donnell a few seasons back and were able to flip him for a good price. Maybe the same could be done with Covington, I don’t know, the Outlaws are going to be really good, you guys.
20.
Philadelphia Liberty select Kevin Malone, offensive lineman, Tijuana Luchadores Philly has to take a GM here, and it’s the first offensive lineman off the board, Kevin Malone. This’ll actually work great, as the Liberty give up the most sacks in the league right now, so it’s a big need for them.
21.
New Orleans Second Line select Adélie de Pengu, safety, Norfolk Seawolves Yet another GM player, Adélie de Pengu will be going here, and I’m not quite sure how this one will work. The Second Line are loaded up in the secondary, with four active players, none of whom are even close to regression, and none of whom have a contract expiring, plus there’s a Literal Hexagon waiting to be called up. So Pengu may be playing at a different position soon. They need receivers, so maybe there?
22.
San Jose Sabercats select Water Chestnut III, defensive end, Minnesota Grey Ducks One last GM player, and this one makes a great amount of sense, especially after the sudden retirement of Brayden Ennis. This team needs help along the line in the worst kind of way right now. Chestnut and Otis Allen will be a good start, but don’t be surprised if they make another move along the line, maybe in free agency.
23.
Sarasota Sailfish (from Yellowknife) select Griffin Porter, linebacker, Tijuana Luchadores *checks notes* Yep, not a GM pick. The Sarasota defense is going to be experiencing a big overhaul this offseason, with two players for sure retiring and possibly a third in Freezer Riposte. Because of that, it’d be wise for them to find a third lineback, and Porter checks all the boxes. He’s been around for a while (formerly Season 2’s Dustin Evans, along with Spencer Castle more recently), and can bring a truckload of experience to a young team.
24.
Orange County Otters select Braxton Sinclair, defensive tackle, Norfolk Seawolves The Otters D-line is an odd blemish on what would otherwise be an elite team. Sure, they’re all young, but I’ve still definitely seen players this young that were higher in TPE. On top of that, Gary Lazer-Eyes isn’t doing much anymore, and could be replaced without much fuss. With both Lazer-Eyes’s cheap contract and Bobby Boucher hitting free agency, there should be a place on the roster for young Mr. Sinclair.
25.
Baltimore Hawks select Eric Richards, linebacker, London Royals OK, one more time around the block. Let’s make this one fast. The Hawks could use a new linebacker at some point, as right now it’s just Derred de Ville, who’s great; Guy Nikko, who’s old; and Dex Kennedy, who’s in training. Richards can replace Nikko, or let the Hawks run some 3-4.
26.
Chicago Butchers select Raphael d’Alcott, safety, Dallas Birddogs The Butchers secondary is being held together with duct tape and prayers, Martavius Mack is on his last legs, and Xerxes Ridley ain’t far behind. A call-up from Abbas Muhammad can solve one of those. Drafting d’Alcott will fix the other.
27.
Honolulu Hahalua select Blade McCoy, linebacker, Dallas Birddogs When the Hahalua drafted Heinrich Kackpoo at #3, I mentioned how Honolulu needs to make some replacements at linebacker. Alex Selich doesn’t HAVE to be replaced right now, but he’s got one more year left at the most. Blade can stay down for a year (he’s already making a DPotY push down there), and replace Selich eventually.
28.
Arizona Outlaws select Eugene Smoothie, safety, Myrtle Beach Buccaneers Those pesky Outlaws are picking again, and they only have one safety right now, so sure another safety.
29.
Arizona Outlaws (from Austin) select Datsum Phastbawls, kicker, London Royals Those pesky Outlaws are picking again… again, and their kicker hasn't updated in a little while, so why not take the best kicker in the draft?
30.
Austin Copperheads (from Colorado) select Danny King, running back, London Royals Austin isn’t getting back Ryan Leaf Jr. after this season, and while they still have Mako Mendonca and will probably get a call-up from Kichwa Jones, Mako will hit his first year of regression this season, so this could set up Austin’s RB duo of the future.
31.
Sarasota Sailfish select Philip Stein, kicker, Minnesota Grey Ducks The Sailfish have the biggest need at kicker in the league, Diego Espinosa has been gone for a while, and needs to be bounced, and while they just missed out on Datsum, Philip Stein will more than suffice.
32.
Philadelphia Liberty select Tomage McGullager, cornerback, Dallas Birddogs The Liberty have a bunch of people in the secondary right now, but they’re about to lose a bunch of them. Stuart Little IV and Lamont McKinnie are retiring this year and Richard D’Attoria V probably won’t be far behind. One more corner will give them a complete nickel secondary within one year of each other.
33.
New Orleans Second Line select Luca Scabbia, wide receiver, Dallas Birddogs The amount of need in this one position is almost comical. Bona’beri Jones is retiring this season, and at that point, their best receiver will be a 74 TPE rookie and a running back. This needs to be addressed hard, and the unfortunate thing for the Second Line is that this pick will be their first chance to address it.
34.
Yellowknife Wraiths (from San Jose) select Jason Young, cornerback, Kansas City Coyotes Johnny Snuggles is about to take a seriously sharp stick to his TPE next season, as he enters Year 4 of regression. He and Mervin Leonard are Yellowknife’s only corners so this should be the move right here.
35.
Yellowknife Wraiths select Joseph Petrongolo, running back, Portland Pythons Their last pick was one of need, but Yellowknife gets back to their best player available ways here and takes Joseph Petrongolo. They already have Mathias Hanyadi and Acura Skyline, but they’ve always found ways to make situations like this work.
36.
Arizona Outlaws (from Orange County) select Videl-San, wide receiver, Portland Pythons One last pick for the Outlaws and they take Videl-San. Videl’s user has been in the league for a long time, and has switched positions before as another player, so you know he’s a team player, they’ll find someplace to fit this talent.
3481 words .
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - Thiath - 05-15-2020
Mock draft season? Shit.
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - Jo3fish5 - 05-15-2020
You have me (Joseph Petrongolo) 35OA from the Portland pythons but u put the royals logo so ummmmmmmmmmm
I’m a snek
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - KoltClassic - 05-15-2020
awesome work as always!
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - Opera_Phantom - 05-15-2020
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - IsaStarcrossed - 05-15-2020
(05-15-2020, 02:24 AM)nickyvmlp Wrote:33.
The amount of need in this one position is almost comical. Bona’beri Jones is retiring this season, and at that point, their best receiver will be a 74 TPE rookie and a running back. This needs to be addressed hard, and the unfortunate thing for the Second Line is that this pick will be their first chance to address it.
The amount of disrespect here. SMH. We have Wombat who is a solid earner and a key part of our offense going forward at 404 TPE and we also have Sean Snyder who should be 250-300 TPE heading into next season. That 74 TPE receiver you're referring to simply hasn't updated in a while. He just submitted his update and is at 200 TPE, should be at 250-300 come next season. Mix this with the fact our primary receiver is actually TE Austin McCormick and our WR corps isn't as bad as everyone seems to think it is.
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - Billybolo53 - 05-15-2020
Looks like another stacked draft class
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - Frostbite - 05-15-2020
We have Jacob Small at kicker next season
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - Faded - 05-15-2020
hey ma that's me
*NickyV's S23 Mock Draft 1.0 - ValorX77 - 05-15-2020
Great writeup! I love the fact that it’s uncertain on where I go!