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+---- Thread: Marcus Kane's Hit List (/showthread.php?tid=2463)
Marcus Kane's Hit List - Dangles13 - 07-21-2017
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[/div]Newly drafted safety Marcus Kane steps up to the podium, clears his throat into the microphone and pulls a rolled up paper out of his jacket pocket and unfurls it. Curiosity takes over the once quiet room and one reporter pipes up "hey what is that"? Marcus shoots him a glare. Another reporter answers, "I heard he finally got his rookie contract, I bet that's it" another glare sweeps across the room. A few seconds pass as Marcus waits for silence while he smooths his paper out on top of the podium.
"If you would all shut the fuck up and stop guessing I will tell you what I have here. No it's not my contract you idiot, do you see my agent? My GM? No so shut up and sit down and continue being bad at your job. Alright now that we have that cleared up, the reason I called this press conference was to address the NSFL players. Some people have a bucket list of shit they want to do before they kick the bucket. I have a Hit List that I compile at the start of each season, players I want to victimize before the end of the season. I don't always cross every item off the list but I always have it posted in my locker, it motivates me and makes the games mean that much more. I have never made it public before but I think now is as good a time as any to start."
1. Scrub Kyubee @DollarAndADream
I am going to pick off one of his passes. His wet noodle arm was responsible for 17 interceptions and I am going to do everything in my power to add to his total each time we face off against each other. I know he has been spending a lot of time in the film room this offseason but that won't help him against me because he has nothing to study. Guess he should have spent some time working on his mechanics.
2. Logan Noble @
Noble better keep his head on a swivel because I plan on putting his ass in the dirt at some point this season. He has a good arm on him and he's got good feet so I'm going to try to penetrate his line and sack him and get him off his game. He better be ready to dig turf out of his teeth.
3. Damien Kroetch @Damienj10
This one goes out to my fellow rookie taken 26 picks after me. I felt he had the talent to go higher and I'm going to do him a solid by putting him all over Sportscentre when I blow him up. I am going to catch him over the middle and knock him into the next ice age. Hope my hometown has their stretchers ready.
4. Reg Mackworthy @Esa77
He's tough and he's fast and might be my biggest obstacle on this list but I want to stuff Mackworthy for a loss at some point this season. Always have to respect someone who can rattle the legendary Kenny Powers to the point where he maliciously takes your eye out.
5. Stormblessed @`DillyDing`
He's one hell of a wide out and we are going to have our hands full with him. Dermot Lavelle will shadow him up and down the field and while I don't doubt he can cover him 99% of the time I aim to be there for that 1%. I am going to defend at least one pass thrown his way.
6. Ragnar Kronen @Kronen
This one is more for the GM than the player himself. My pride was hurt that I fell all the way out of the first 3 rounds and Kronen was picked just 3 spots ahead of me and for that I will out tackle him when we play each other. I think Ragnar is a great prospect and there was nothing wrong with selecting him there but my pride won't let me say he is better than me.
7. Jack Durden @Durden
This mouthpiece needs to be shut up. He think he's big dog on campus but really he's just a distraction. If his legs ran as much as his mouth I might be a little worried about him but he's a cancer and Arizona couldn't wait to ship him out for whatever they could get. I am going to pile up hits on him, I will hit him so hard he will drop the ball like the little bitch he is.
8. George Wright @Player1
This big mother needs to get put down on his fucking ass. Week 2 in preseason those little Otters are going to come freeze their little butts off and I am going to hit this punk so hard even Google won't be able to find him.
"So there you have it. This is my S2 Hit List and it will be posted in my locker and at the end of the season I will review this see what I need to get better at next season and who my next victims will be. I want to thank everyone for being patient except those two idiots at the start and I would like to open the floor to any questions you might have."
(07-21-2017, 02:56 PM)timeconsumer Wrote:The heaviest person on your list is 230lbs and the average weight is only 214lbs.
It is rumored you have a fear of contact with larger players, is that why your list is lacking any 280lb tight ends, 250lb red zone threat WRs, or 260lb power backs?
I ain't afraid of nobody. Just didn't see any big players worth my time. No player is too big or fast or smart enough for me to clash with.
GRADED
Marcus Kane's Hit List - Stormblessed - 07-21-2017
I love it. Great idea for an article.
Can't wait to welcome you to the league, rook.
Marcus Kane's Hit List - ElMachoNacho - 07-21-2017
This was badass.
Marcus Kane's Hit List - Admin - 07-21-2017
Kane is an absolute beast.
Marcus Kane's Hit List - kckolbe - 07-21-2017
How Steve Smith of you.
Marcus Kane's Hit List - timeconsumer - 07-21-2017
The heaviest person on your list is 230lbs and the average weight is only 214lbs.
It is rumored you have a fear of contact with larger players, is that why your list is lacking any 280lb tight ends, 250lb red zone threat WRs, or 260lb power backs?
Marcus Kane's Hit List - Dangles13 - 07-21-2017
(07-21-2017, 02:56 PM)timeconsumer Wrote:The heaviest person on your list is 230lbs and the average weight is only 214lbs.
It is rumored you have a fear of contact with larger players, is that why your list is lacking any 280lb tight ends, 250lb red zone threat WRs, or 260lb power backs?
I ain't afraid of nobody. Just didn't see any big players worth my time. No player is too big or fast or smart enough for me to clash with.
Good catch btw, like the effort put in.
Marcus Kane's Hit List - DeathOnReddit - 07-21-2017
No one is worried on Arizona about you.
Marcus Kane's Hit List - Dangles13 - 07-21-2017
(07-21-2017, 04:54 PM)DeathOnReddit Wrote:No one is worried on Arizona about you.
Goddamn Outlaws
Marcus Kane's Hit List - Damienj10 - 07-21-2017
Bro you gotta catch me first @Dangles13 bring it on