+- International Simulation Football League (https://forums.sim-football.com)
+-- Forum: Community (https://forums.sim-football.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Media (https://forums.sim-football.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=37)
+---- Forum: Graded Articles (https://forums.sim-football.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=38)
+---- Thread: *We're Back (/showthread.php?tid=25129)
*We're Back - BRNXB0MBERS - 08-21-2020
WE’RE BACK
The Arizona Chronicle Has Been Resurrected
Galf “Moosecop” Wilf | Arizona Outlaw Herald-Tribune | Aug 21, 2020 | Phoenix
Is anyone here old enough to remember newspapers? You know that thing your grandpa read every morning? They were these crazy things printed on thin paper and delivered to your door. We have the internet now, but those were the good ol’ days. Maybe you don’t remember, but The Arizona Chronicle was once the most read newspaper in the entire world. Finally, after many years of inactivity, we are proud to rebrand and present the newest issue. Sit back, relax, and get to know some Outlaws.
1) What was your initial reaction to hearing that you'd been drafted by the Outlaws/called up to the ISFL?
2) A fresh new season is right around the corner, what did you do during the offseason? Are you prepared for the upcoming season?
3) What are your personal goals for the upcoming season?
4) What player, past or present, do you think you resemble the most or try to emulate?
5) What's your pregame meal?
Julio Jones
1) My initial reaction was excitement. I'd had a ton of fun in the DSFL playing for the grey ducks, but after two season of playing in the DSFL, part of me was just itching to be called up and be allowed to play with the big boys and see how I did. Also, I was super excited to be able to play with dieselj since we're lovers. Now we're lovers and teammates.
2) This offseason, I worked on my strength and blocking techniques. I think that the work I put in is going to pay off big time, and I feel the best that I have ever felt in my entire career. So yes, I think I am very prepared for this season and am looking forward to what it brings.
3) My personal goals for this season consist mainly of two things. Let up 0 sacks and win. Although getting a high number of pancakes would be an amazing cherry on top, I see myself as a team first kind of person, so my first and foremost goal is to help our team win, which would be drastically affected if I were to let up sacks on the QB.
4) I think I would like to emulate the career of Laszlo 42. As we all know, he's one of the best OL in the league, and I hope that through my hard work and commitment, I'll be able to be in that conversation as best offensive lineman in the league one day.
5) My pregame meal is whatever I can get my hands on. I'll eat close near everything since I'm 340 pounds and need to maintain that weight during the season. If I had to pick, I'd probably say something kind of light on carbs and more full of protein, so that I just don't feel as heavy during the game and have a longer burning source of fuel. Something like a protein bar or maybe a salad with grilled chicken would work. I'm not too picky, which is why I'll eat damn near anything.
Gunner Thorbjornsson
1) I was extremely thrilled to hear my name called when AZ was on the clock. It was the payoff after a long season in the DSFL trying to prove myself worthy of a 1st round pick. After speaking with the GM, I was also informed I'd be staying as a WR. It doesn't get much better knowing I'm going to be catching passes from the league’s best QB. It was icing on top when my DSFL teammate Charlemagne was drafted as the success as well. We're going to show the league we've got good chemistry.
2) I've been pumping iron and doing quick feet drills. These DSFL CBs won't be able to bring me down. I'm 100% prepared. I did a lot of film study and it turns out that catching the ball is overrated. I haven't used the jugs machine once. But don't worry, when I actually catch the ball, I'll be a human highlight reel.
3) Personally, my goal is to go over 1000 yards with 7TDs. If I snag WRotY on the way, that'd be the cherry on top. For the team, I'd love to walk away with an Ultimini at the end of the season. I know that's our goal over here in London, so anything less will be disappointing.
4) Another part about being drafted to AZ that made me excited is getting to learn from Saba. He's the best WR in the game and I'd love to get to his level one day. I'm not as fast as he is, but he's definitely someone I model myself around.
5) I usually chug a bunch of milk before games. I had to switch to chocolate milk last year and it coincided with our winning streak. That's what I'll start with this year.
Thomas Passman
1) I'm not really a new player like a lot of the other guys but I was super hyped to get drafted by the Outlaws. Then to find out I would be heading up to the big leagues immediately, it was a lot of excitement very fast. I couldn't wait to hit the field and show off for my new team. It has been an honor playing for the Outlaws and I am happy to have been drafted to this lovely little, up and coming franchise.
2) During the offseason, I ran into trouble like I always did. Got lots of bad headlines, most of them were true, just don't tell anyone because my lawyer says I have to deny everything. I feel prepared for the next season, constantly running from the cops and the FBI keeps me in good shape and keeps me on my toes. I am ready for anything to happen out on the field and to do my part to win games.
3) My personal goals for the upcoming season are to trick a jury into thinking that I'm innocent by using my vampiric allure and demonic powers of persuasion. Even though I'm clearly guilty as sin and you'd think any 12 people could see that, I feel great about this trial and I am sure I can convince people otherwise. I will not be put behind bars and you better be sure I just will not let that happen. Other goals include, I don't know, training or something that sounds like I take my job serious? I definitely try, totally totally.... oh, and I got a new contract, so now I can sit back and play super lazy. I am set for the future so now my goals are just to sit back and watch the city burn. Burn, baby, burn.... watch out Arizona, you made a big mistake in signing me for another three seasons. You will be lucky if the arena is still standing by the time next offseason rolls around.
4) I am not really trying to copy any other player; I do my own thing. I'm the first vampire and serial killer in the league, well at least that we know of anyways. So obviously I'm not the same as anyone. People say I try to copy that Tommy Helanen guy who used to play for the Yellowknife Wraiths before I kill.... I mean before he died a natural death due to a heart attack that was very natural and not murder. I take a few pointers from him and emulate a few aspects of his game but not really that much, I'm my own player with my own style. I like things messed up and messy, I play a violent, hard hitting game. I'm out there to take names and kick ass, forget being an unoriginal and uninspired copycat.
5) My pregame meal usually involves a nice packet of blood...kind of like how you stupid mortal humans drink those juice packets, you know like Sunkist or stuff like that? It helps get me revved up and able to resist the sun burning me alive, because you know I am super sensitive to the sun so without a boost from human blood, things might go from 0 to disintegrate very fast. There is only so must that a helmet can do man, they're not that helpful and they really don't block a lot of sunlight. Anyhow yeah, great pregame meal, gives me lots of energy and helps me have those awesome powers and skills out there on the turf. You guys should try it, very tasty too. Delicious, positively scrumptious.
DB Jadakiss
1) I was excited – I had seen my name appear at 4OA to the Outlaws in a few mock drafts, but I wasn’t totally sure about where I’d end up getting selected. Once I found out it was Arizona, I was super excited, and even more proud that they felt confident enough in me to take me so high. I was eager to get called up right away and prove myself with early minutes on the biggest stage.
2) I’m absolutely prepared – I’ve spent the offseason wearing all of Quinn Hughes’ equipment so I can soak up whatever mojo he had last year that let him get like a billion turnovers. At this point all his sweat should be soaked into my skin thoroughly enough that I’m ready to capitalize on that magic.
3) I’m hoping to improve in every single facet of the game – more picks, more tackles, more TFLs, more sacks, more deflections – everything. Our secondary as a unit was pretty great last season, so I’m hoping our whole team (since we all improved) can build on that and turn into the new Legion of Boom.
4) Got to be Quinn Hughes – 6 picks and 3 TDs last season, yes please. I also have to try to not emulate Galf Wilf, because that guy stinks and also is smelly. Trying my best to avoid his predatory influence.
5) Pussy
Pete "Plop" Miller
1) Although I am not a rookie anymore, I was very excited when I got drafted to Arizona. I knew they were in a rebuild, but sometimes that is more fun. Now I’ve had the pleasure of improving alongside the team and making a huge difference. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
2) I didn’t do much this off-season. Stupid coronavirus. That said, I was able to spend a lot of time with my family and focus on my interpersonal relationships. Of course, I love my family, but it’s difficult to make time during this season. All of the forced time at home made our bonds even stronger.
3) The second half of last season did not go well for me or for the team. I want to get back on track and make the pro bowl like I did in my first two seasons. I know this question is about personal goals, but my main focus is making the playoffs. If we win the Ultimus, I don’t care if I never get another sack.
4) I try to emulate my game after some of the greatest nose tackles of all time: "Mean" Joe Greene and Warren Sapp. I want to be completely dominant and scare the offensive lineman lining up across from me. I’m also not afraid to speak my mind, even if that means getting in a little scuffle. Both of those guys were fantastic players on the field and big personalities off the field, just like me.
5) I like to mix things up a lot, so I don’t have one specific meal. The biggest pregame ritual for me is a pregame dump. I always use the same bathroom at the same time before every game. Ask anybody in the locker room. They know “Plop’s Stall” and they avoid it before game time. The new rookies never know if the team is being serious about it, so it often leads to funny scenarios.
Saba Donut
1) Having been drafted well over a year ago so my memory is pretty foggy. However, I remember draft day as if it were yesterday. I remember being ecstatic when the Outlaws drafted. Being picked by such a great franchise was such an honor and I have loved every second of my time with the team.
2) Am I prepared? Am I prepared!?!?!? Do I look like the type of player to want to be prepared, absolutely not. However, I didn't spend the entire offseason wasting my time. I was enhancing my skills at the best sport of all time, mini golf. Honestly, that was a much better use of my time than "practicing football".
3) I mean, most people can probably guess that my main goal is to win WRotY once again. It would be my second season winning the award and it would help bolster my HOF resume. Another personal goal of mine is to have at least 2 games where I have 69 receiving yards. Last season I only had one game with 69 yards and that was rather disappointing, and I want to right my wrongs.
4) The player I most try to emulate is Hawks legend, Vincent "Vinny" Valentine. He had one of the most successful careers in the history of the ISFL with 3 WRotY awards, 1 OPotY award, and 2 Championships. (Also, Unicorn threatened to bench me if I didn't pick him soooo.......)
5) Is it not obvious? Let me give you the play by play. First, I hop into my Donutmobile and start driving towards KFC. Once at KFC I order the Kentucky Fried Chicken & Donuts with a side of fries and a Sprite. Once I finish that meal I drive over to the Stadium. I go to one of our many white castles and order 10 chicken sandwiches and 30 chicken rings with a side of fries and a Mountain Dew. Once I eat that I am officially game ready.
Zamir Kehla
1) Draft Day was a pretty weird night for me. I remember watching the first round go by, with some... interesting picks, to say the least. Then came some more questionable picks and we got down to the end of the third round. People were teasing me on the discord, telling me to kiss my 5 million goodbye. I had made a bet with Vorsh that I would be drafted within the first 3 rounds, and of course, I lost. I didn't think that teams would pass up on the best CB in the class, but here we are, with the Outlaws committing a highway robbery (I guess that's why they're called the Outlaws) and stealing me in the 5th round. I think it was a pretty good pick for them, considering they got a max earner that has made both pro bowls so far, and is on the road to his third.
2) In the offseason, I continued training, as I always had. I am a max earner after all, unlike Saba. He just eats donuts and plays mini golf. I expect this team to do great things this season. This team has to make the playoffs. Anything less will be a failure. I also expect us to go the Ultimus. Considering our crappy luck last year, I'm expecting us to do well this year. Really well.
3) I've got some high expectations for myself this season, and the bare minimum I expect is pro bowl. Anything less than that is a failure. I expect myself to get at least 4 INTs, hopefully 5. I'm aiming for CBotY this year, after getting robbed of it my rookie year. I'm aiming for at least 20 PDs this season. My career goal is to get at least 20 PDs every season from now on. This should be easier with 16 game seasons. As the league's QBs are getting worse and worse, I expect my play to improve a lot in the upcoming seasons. I expect all cornerbacks to do well also, so there is going to be a lot more competition in the near future, which I'm ready for.
4) There's one player who I aim to equal or best, and it's the GOAT himself, Dermot Lavelle Sr. He made the hall of fame with like 57 interceptions to his record, which is a crazy amount. I need to average like 5 interceptions a season if I want to try and beat that record, but no one has ever even thought about beating that untouchable record, until now, that is. I've gotten off to a great start so far in my career, with back to back seasons with 4 INTs. I'm only going to get better from now on, so I expect a lot more INTs in the future. I may not be able to beat Dermot's record, but I will get close to it, and with that, I will be making the Hall of Fame.
5) Pre-Game meal? Oreos.
Joe Petrongolo
1) When I first learned that I had been drafted to the Arizona Outlaws, I was the embodiment of PartyBlob. I knew the Outlaws were going to be a major contender in a few years and this year we are. I opted to stay down a year hoping I’d be able to do well in the DSFL, but now I’m glad to be with my friends on the Outlaws.
2) I spent the off-season preparing to play, doing all the trainings and everything I could to get ready and play the best I can for my team. Now that the season is finally here, I’m super stoked to get on the field and perform for my team
3) This season I just want to get my feet wet, get used to the league. I don’t think I’m going to so much because it’s my first year, but maybe I will. I’m just trying to compete for the number one spot right now and maybe that competition will make us both better.
4) There isn’t really one specific player that I try to emulate, but one thing I’m going to say is: I want to go fast. Speed. Zoom. Faster than Tyreek Hill. Faster than Jay Cue.
5) Pre-Game meal? I don’t really have one specific meal for before the games, but one of my favorites is Parmesan encrusted salmon. 11/10, would recommend.
Code:
3073 wordsPlease payout as below:
@24redcrayons 11%
@Z-Whiz 10%
@StamkosFan 20%
@hotdog 8%
@BRNXB0MBERS 10%
@SabaDonutMan 10%
@
@Jo3fish5 8%
@Moosecop 7%