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*Portland Pythons: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Part Three - Printable Version

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*Portland Pythons: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Part Three - zeagle1 - 08-30-2020

Portland Pythons: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Part Three

Portland had an up and down three games this past week. Losing one possession games to two different 5-2 teams is nothing to be ashamed of, but these are the type of wins that Portland needs to be in contention for the Ultimini. The week was salvaged in a 38-3 blowout of the Dallas Birddogs in week 7. With a trip to Norfolk on the horizon, Portland is looking at a shaky start to next week and very well could be left regretting those two losses last week. London at home is a winnable fixture, as Portland is looking for the season sweep. Next week is rounded out by a trip to Minnesota to avenge the most embarrassing loss of the season. Portland could very well be a .500 team by this time next week, or they could be last in the league. Such is the duality of the DSFL.

The Good:

1. Portland is first place in the NFC
Look, the NFC is indisputably worse than the SFC. Every SFC team other than Dallas would be first in the NFC by a two-game margin. Dallas would be last though #JustDallasThings. With how disappointing Portland has been at times this season, first place is a great accomplishment for the team that finished dead last in the league last season. The team wishes they had a better record than 3-4 but at the end of the day, first is first. A pivotal game versus London on Tuesday could end up being the decider at the top when the season comes to a close.

2. Sam Howitzer playing well and just got another weapon added to his arsenal.
In my preseason prediction article, I said that Sam Howitzer played well last season, and that the addition of more weapons around him, and beefy boys to keep him upright, will turn him into a star. My prediction is on the cusp of coming true, as he is posting the second best QB rating in the league. He’s thrown for the most TDs in the league and the least interceptions out of everyone with an appreciable number of attempts. Sam’s only fourth in the league in yards, and third in completions, but is still having an impressive season. Howitzer will become an even bigger threat, as TE Dave Batista has changed to the vertical threat archetype and there are rumors swirling about him potentially lining up and a WR in the coming weeks.

3. Portland’s bend but don’t break defense is winning them games.
Portland is second in the NFC in points allowed and fourth in the league. They are outperforming their yardage allowed metrics, where they are third in the NFC and a dismal seventh overall. Their rush defense is second in the NFC and fifth in the league, and their pass defense is third in the NFC, fifth in the league. If you were to just look at yardage, the Python’s defense leaves a great deal to be desired, but through a combination of timely takeaways, stout red zone defense, and a bit of luck, Portland’s defense has been one of the best in the league this season.

4. Blowing out Dallas
As an Eagles fan, beating Dallas comes naturally to me. It also came naturally to the rest of the Portland squad, as they demolished Dallas to the tune of 38-3. Sam Howitzer was the player of the game with a 20/30 164 yards 4 TD performance. RBs Anders Christiansen and Darren Parma also impressed, both racking up over 80 yards on the ground and averaging over five yards per carry. Korbin Brown continued his impressive season adding 59 yards and a TD to his stats, along with 62 kick return yards. On the defensive end, Darren McBobby recorded a sack and a pass defended to add to his defensive rookie of the year campaign. Safety Joel Drake scored his first career TD on an interception return to claim the defensive player of the game honors. It was a massive team effort for the Pythons, who rose to the challenge and saw off Dallas.

5. Trading for Brach Thomaslacher
The one time I’m away from Discord for more than an hour, GM qWest makes a huge trade, sending a second-round pick to Kansas City for linebacker Brach Thomaslacher, and user RESouthPaw. Portland had a huge hole at LB and were starting an inactive rookie in some formations. Brach will fill this void, making the Pythons even more deadly on defense. The big impact of this addition will be off the field. South is a great guy who has experience sim testing and as a scout which will be invaluable to a Portland team that is going to have some turnover at the top next year. We are all super excited to welcome him to the squad!


The Bad:

1. Tough upcoming schedule
Being tied for first in the conference and having to travel to the best team in the league, coming off of two straight losses is a risky spot to be in. Norfolk is going to be looking to bounce back and do so dramatically, at the expense of the Pythons. After that tough fixture, Portland is then hosting London. Portland beat London convincingly 23-10 in London earlier this season, so this should be a winnable game for them. Portland needs a good result from these two games to stay in contention for a playoff berth this season.

2. Home record
There’s no sugarcoating it, Portland has the worst home record in the league, tied with Minnesota. Being tied with Minnesota in any way is a disappointment. (Sorry guys). While the Python’s solid away record has saved them, they must start to win at home in order to have any success in the postseason. In their defense, it is really unlikely for a team as good as the Pythons to have such a bad home record.

3. Rushing defense
While the Pythons have a great scoring defense, their rush defense needs to improve. The DSFL is as run heavy as a league can be, and the Pythons are allowing 177 rushing yards per game, good for second in the conference and fifth in the league. The addition of Thomaslacher is going to be huge for this, but the defensive line needs some improvement. The line has several rookies who have been improving all season, which is promising, but it takes more than promising rookies to win the Ultimini.

4. PPG outperforming YPG metrics
The offense is bound to regress to the mean eventually. While the Pythons are first in the conference and second overall in scoring, they are only third in the conference and seventh in the league in yards per game. Their scoring has been buoyed by great scoring defense and WR Korbin Brown’s incredibly great kick returns, with one TD return and several other long returns to set up short field situations.

5. Trading a second-round pack for Brach
While Brach Thomaslacher definitely improves the Pythons, He is most likely going to be called up to the ISFL next season, so a second-round pick for a half season rental is rather steep. Of course, user RESouthPaw is already a great contributor to the war room and will be invaluable in the offseason. But in what projects to be a small (aka not r/NFL) draft, a second-round pick will have even more value than usual. The core of the Pythons is gaining experience and many of them have already been drafted or will be drafted after this season and will need replacing.

The Ugly:

1. 3-4 and first in the NFC
How is the NFC so much worse than the SFC? Three teams tied for first with a record of 3-4. That’s so comically terrible. Like c’mon man! The SFC has three teams at 5-2! It’s barely even first place when the conference is so bad.

2. Continual close losses
19-15. 20-12, 24-27. Three one possession losses out of four losses. If you ignore the week one blowout versus Norfolk, The Pythons have been a couple plays away from winning these games. Especially the Tijuana game, where a late interception in a 27-27 game during a two-minute offense set up a short field situation that the Luchadores converted for the win. The Minnesota game also was painful, with the Pythons failing time after time in the red zone.

3. Worst rushing Offense
The Pythons have the worst rushing offense in the league. Snakes are slow, yes, but this is pitiful. They have run for a pitiful 128 rush yards per game. With two rookie running backs and several rookies on the OL accompanied by bots, expectations had to be tempered but the Pythons will need to find a spark from somewhere to support QB Sam Howitzer.

4. 3rd downs
I complain about this every week, but man are the Pythons are terrible on third down. In the Dallas game, they went an impressive 10/13 on third down, but in the two losses they went 6/16 against Myrtle Beach and 5/12 versus Tijuana. The Dallas game was the only game where the Pythons were above 50% this season. That is bad.


The Pythons have a tough week of games ahead of them, which will determine if they are truly contenders for the Ultimini.


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