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*On Agents and how to Broker - Sylphreni - 02-26-2021
American peace activist Philip Berrigan once said, “If you dissent without breaking the law then you are legitimizing the system that allows this kind of latitude. You have to break the law to touch the state.” Now, you may be asking yourself was Philip Berrigan a decent guy, were his intentions with such a strong statement good, godly, and wholesome? To that I say…. Who the fuck knows. All I know is that his Wikipedia page records that he was married to a former nun in 1969 (nice) by what Wikipedia refers to as “Mutual Consent”. Now, having been married nearly 10 years myself I must admit I’m not super familiar with any alternatives to marrying by mutual consent, however I realize that the fact that Wikipedia felt the need to specify in regards to Philip’s life partner choices may cast some doubt on his moral fiber. Regardless, Philip strikes me as a real rabble rouser, someone who liked to challenge the established norm, hell he once organized the burglary of an FBI field office… who does that? Philip god damned Berrigan, that’s who. And so can you if you follow the path I’m about to carve out for you in the article to follow, like some form of modern day Sacagewea, minus the two white guys lusting after me, as we trek across the entirety of the continental US. Unless you count Deadly and Big Edd of course; but they’ve always had a thing for me, no help for it. But I digress, let us in the words of Mr. Berrigan “touch the state”.... In a totally mutually consensual way of course.
I have long decried the use of agents in the ISFL. In seasons past, I’d look over the landscape of the league and question if there was any real need for them. The answer which I always came back to was no, there was no place in the league for agents. But why is that I’ve begun to wonder recently… is it because players don’t have an interest in using or hiring one? Or is it because we’ve intentionally fostered an environment within the league that makes it nigh impossible for an individual to function as an agent and actually do anything meaningful? I have always assumed the answer was the former, why would a player bother with an agent? Why not be the agent of their own destiny? What possible role might an agent have in their journey through the league? However, I am reminded that the last round of “agencies” the league saw (most notably perhaps Tims) did indeed have players that signed with them to be represented. Likewise, we’ve seen rules proposed multiple times now to try to make life easier on would be agents…. So like Sir Paul McCartney crying out in a 1982 ballad, we’ve got Someone Who Cares.
Now that we’ve established that someone out there gives a shit about agents in the league, and that this entire media piece might be slightly more relevant than just a money grab attempt in the league (spoilers, it’s not. Not what? That’s for you to decide.) let's discuss an agents place in the league at present. In the league rulebook agents can be found in the Miscellaneous section at the end of the book, positioned between such topics as “Relocation”, “Weebs”, and “Miscellaneous”. (Yes, yes I know you’re all questioning… there really is a subsection miscellaneous, within the miscellaneous section.) I imagine that agents end up in the Miscellaneous section largely because the league isn’t quite sure what to do with them. It’s kind of like that Christmas gift that a not too distant relative bought for you several years ago, that you don’t want to throw away for fear of them inquiring of it, but at the same time you’ve got no idea what to do with it. So you keep it on some shelf in a side closet, ready to be strategically placed in your home for every visit of theirs so you can talk about how much you love it when they come over for their tri-annual visit. I imagine this is how the league feels about agents, we don’t really want to say no, because that might turn some people away from the site; but at the same time we don’t want to say yes, because it challenges several other structures within the league that we’re not too keen on addressing either. See: player contracts, salary cap, tampering, contract clauses, contract negotiations, etc.
Let's turn our attention to the leagues current ruleset for agents and you’ll see what I mean. The only thing more challenging and less fulfilling to achieve then becoming an agent is arguably continuing to be a Jets fan in a post-Sanchez era (you’ve already had the best, why keep holding out for more.) The current agent ruleset is as follows, I’ll list them for those unfamiliar, and make a few notes along the way to get my meaning across:
Agent Rule #0: Any agent acting outside these regulations will face punishment by Head Office, including possible site suspension.
Life lesson for all of you reading this: if ever there’s a warning regarding what you're about to read, rather than after you’ve read the material and have a better understanding of how to interact with said warning…. It’s because the warning is more important than the content below. Follow these rules because if you don’t you’ll be punished. It seems like the sort of thing that goes without saying in a rulebook however in regards to agents we’ve felt the need to double down on that. Arguably to further dissuade people from the course of action… Who’s arguing it? Certainly not me, I’m just here for fake internet dollars.
Agent Rule #1: Agents are not allowed to have any affiliations with teams in the ISFL or DSFL, nor have any players in the ISFL or DSFL.
I appreciate that this is rule number one for agents, because right off the block it sets an impossible precedent. Want to be an agent? Great, now completely isolate yourself from the league and specifically the teams you’ll be negotiating with on behalf of your players. We’ll see a bit later on that agents are also required to have been users on the site for 5 seasons, so this is asking them to completely disregard any affiliations they made those 5 seasons (roughly 10-12 months IRL?) Presumably this rule is in place to keep agents from showing favoritism, and to encourage their clients to go to any and every team. While a nice thought, it’s literally impossible for any human being who’s been on this site to not have personal affiliations with the teams around the league and the members that make them up, therefore making be an agent impossible right from the start… and let’s not forget about that potential site suspension looming over your head if you are proven to have any such affiliations.
Agent Rule #2: Any communication between an agent and GM regarding a player must include said player. Including, but not limited to: contract, trade, and general inquiries. Basically, if an agent is talking to a GM, there must be a player included in the communication as well.
John Hurt, does that name ring a bell? If it doesn’t you’re either too young to remember, or you intentionally deprive yourself of good things. John starred in 1979’s classic film Alien, and is perhaps best known for removing himself from the film… or rather being removed from it by way of an alien life form exploding from his chest as the entire crew of the Nostromo sat down for a well deserved meal. That powerful imagery is what I’d like to evoke in regards to this rule and what it does to would be agents. I would imagine most people considering becoming an agent are doing so because they want to be a mover and shaker in the league, have important conversations with teams, and be involved in the big decisions. Sadly this rule makes that impossible. Not only can you not market your player to prospective teams, in the event one actually has interest you have to have all parties present for the exchange. And guess what, teams and GMs aren’t going to want to talk to you in that scenario, they’re going to want to talk to the person they’re potentially signing or drafting, which completely invalidates the agents entire reason for being there in the first place. To attempt to put a fine point on what this rule does to agents… it turns them into little more than a part-time cheerleader for their client, and a far cry from the power player they once hoped to be.
Agent Rule #3: Each agent must have a license from the Head Office to act as an agent. License fee is $10 million per season. (Ultimus to Ultimus)
On its face, the rule makes a good deal of sense. Head Office reserves the right of refusal on General Manager hirings, and likewise reserves the right to pick and choose who becomes agents within the league. You might be surprised to hear I take no great issue with that, and I think it well within the rights of the Head Office to pick who they deem fit for such a position. The license fee I think is a bit high, at $10 million a season it’s the most expensive thing in the league on a seasonal basis outside of Tier 6 equipment (and maybe Dotts? I’m not a Dotts guy, so someone can confirm that for me.) Arguably too, Tier 6 doesn’t really cost $13.5 million, but rather the difference between Tier 6 and Tier 5, which would then technically make an Agent's License the most expensive thing seasonally in the league. Seems steep, but money is fake and super easy to make in this league (just look at this article for an example) so I can’t be bothered to care much about the economics of it.
Agent Rule #4: An agent may have a league job to offset costs and they may take part in Twitter, Media, and GFX.
Seems strange this even needs to be a rule to be honest. We’re charging $10 million a season for these people to have the pleasure of a position that can’t actually do anything in, how else are they going to make the money to hold such a prestigious position if not by these very things. I do find it interesting that this rule doesn’t appear to prohibit an agent from being a member of the Head Office? Like maybe that could be a thing? Doesn’t also rule out being a General Manager, but sadly Rules #1 and #5 pull a one-two punch making that impossible. Sad, no agent status for ya boi.
Agent Rule #5: Agents cannot be in a War Room.
Similar to Rule #4, this rule feels a bit excessive given the breadth of Rule #1. That said, I respect it. Head Office probably recognizes no one is ever going to actually read this thing so all the better to add some redundancy in the event we need some firepower for a punishment thread. “Bayley’s Baller Bureau not only tampered multiple players multiple times, but Bayley was also in the Chicago War Room at the time, putting him in direct violation of Rule #5.” I get it, Frost sucks lmap.
Agent Rule #6: Agents must be in the league for 5 full seasons prior to becoming an agent.
If you’re not familiar with the sunk-cost fallacy, I encourage you to look it up. To give a rough idea to those unfamiliar it’s the basic concept that you’re so heavily invested in something that you keep investing into it, even though it might never payoff, because you’re so deep into it. To give an analogy, it’s kind of like that girl in high school who was in reality about 3 leagues above you, but you’ve convinced yourself you’ve got a real shot at her anyways. So you put all this time and effort into her: long phone calls, constant messaging back and forth, and plenty of flirty, but not too flirty conversation. One day she finally breaks up with that dude she’s been seeing for two years who treats her like shit, and you finally feel like you’ve got your in. You invite her to go see a movie, and when she says yes you’re thrilled, although it does strike you a bit odd that she wants to hang out with her friend Steven afterwards... as friends though right? And sure it’s odd that she sat next to him at the pizza place rather than you, but hey, booths can be tricky to navigate right? So later on that week you mention how much fun it was, and how you should do it again, or this or that, and sure she’s agreeing, but like also why does she keep bringing up Steven? This all goes on for some time, with you falling more and more for her and doing more and more things, all the while completely oblivious to the fact that she’s not that into you, and Steven while pretending to be your friend is really just a goddamned wolf. Well fuck you Amy, everybody saw Steven cheating on you 6 months later except for you.
So that’s basically the sunk-cost fallacy. How does that relate to this rule you might be wondering? Great question. By the end of five full seasons in the league a player will be heavily entrenched on their team. Let's assume one DSFL season, one send down season, and then three seasons with their ISFL team. If you’re earning even moderately well, by that point you're an important part of what your team is doing and they probably can’t afford to lose you. So are you really going to turn your back on everyone there just to become an agent? Unlikely. More likely I think you just stick it out, because you’re a smart individual who realizes agents can’t do much of anything in this league as it is. It could then be argued that agents are instead for a veteran player, who’s had a solid career already in the league, but let's be honest by then players are wise enough to realize what a sham agents are in the league as currently constructed and just roll into another player.
Agent Rule #7: ISFL GMs cannot hire agents for their players.
This seems more of a rule for General Managers then it does for agents particularly. You’d think this would in that case be in the general managers section of the rulebook, but Head Office probably realizes nobody actually reads the rulebook and instead just Ctrl+F’s what they’re looking for. To prove this exact point, I’m going to refrain from double checking if this is actually listed in the GMs rules as well, and just assume I’ve made a valid point.
Alright, so we’ve recapped the rules surrounding agents in the league and outlined why being an agent sucks and why we don’t see many of them in the league. Was that an entirely necessary exercise? Probably not, but I’m here to get paid and leave those sorts of questions to more intelligent people. Now despite everything I’ve just said, despite how bad being an agent might look, what if I told you that I thoroughly believe there is no better time to be an agent in this league than right now (preferably before Head Office nerfs my strat ala Riot killing my boy post-launch Ivern.) Would that interest you? Great, because I need to keep farming some more money… and speaking of money, how about a word from our sponsors?
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So how can this be the best time in the league's history to be an agent? Well to fully address that, there are two hurdles we need to overcome for that statement to really be true. The first one is the term “agent.” The league has taken all potential agency away from agents as we’ve already discussed and rendered them more useless than a life without Taylor Swift. What the fuck Bayley, get out of here, this is my article, not yours. (*insert scuffle noises here*)
Anyways, like I was saying agents are no good. So the first thing we want to do is get away from that term “agent.” Such a bad word, much better for our purposes to be a “player advocate” or “broker” or perhaps even a “player mentor.” Now I know, some of you rules lawyers are going to call this semantics, but I’m happy to announce that during the creation of this piece this theory has already been tested! Long time user Dermot has seen fit to open his own “player sports groups” which in his own words “is not, never has been, and never will be a player agency.” How could it be an agency? It’s just a sports group, right? To my knowledge, this has provoked no action or fine from the Head Office, because as far as I can tell it’s perfectly legal. So regardless of if you want to be a “sports group”, “broker”, or “player advocate,” find the term that’s right for you, and use it. You’re far less regulated that way, and can live more in the grey, and for this to work we want to be Christian Grey levels of grey.
The second, and perhaps biggest challenge for prospective brokers (as I’m going to be calling them henceforth) is tampering. Regardless of if you’re an agent or something else, tampering applies to everyone in the league, and the tampering rules really ruin all of a brokers fun. Now while I could continue farming fake money by listing the tampering rules here, I’ve got that juicy Raid Shadow Legends money coming in now so I think we’ll skip over that. Suffice to say the league maintains a 0 tolerance policy with tampering currently for all of its members… with one major exception: the tamperable clause.
The tamperable clause is a rather difficult thing to nail down in this league, as it's never truly been defined, but rather lives in a fantastical grey wonderland, where brokers are soon to thrive. The official ISFL rulebook states the following in regards to what options are allowed within contract negotiations as the following: “Contracts can contain an NMC, NTC, PO, or TO.” Notice anything missing? In fact, a quick search of the rulebook as a whole shows no references to a “tamperable clause” anywhere within its contents. (It should be noted here, that HO does retain the right to dismiss any clauses they don’t like, but to date they’ve never dismissed a tamperable clause to my knowledge.) The first record of a tamperable clause I have been able to find within the league was a contract extension user Waldo signed for Season 19. Waldo, a quarterback at the time, wanted the ability to pursue a job if one became available, and it was written into his contract that he be allowed to speak with teams and they to him. After a couple of dormant years without much in the way of tamperable clauses, we’ve now seen a plethora of them across the league as multiple members of the Season 22 class and beyond have taken advantage of them. Despite their rise in popularity, little has been done in regards to actually limit or regulate tamperable contracts in the league. This lack of regulation is great for our would-be prospective brokers, because it gives us the very tool necessary to make magic happen.
So how does this help us? What does tamperable clauses existing and having no regulations accomplish for us wannabe brokers? Well let's dive into the grey, and go step by step of how I’d utilize this wonderful tool here in the ISFL to make for an effective and meaningful broker.
Step 1: Form your brokerage
As with all things, the key here is to come up with a dope name that carries both meaning and power. For our purposes, let's go with the very obvious selection of “Greedy Guyz Brokerage.” It’s simple, straightforward, gets points for alliteration, and honestly who doesn’t love the name Greedy?
After sorting out a name for our brokerage, we need some dope ass graphic that we can have all our members include in their sigs. I’m not good at graphics, so I’d probably source this bit out, but I’d aim for a nice brokerage logo… and something incorporating that for sigs. Hell, if you’re good at graphics and going to be a broker you could even take these and make official sigs for your members. I lack those skills so I’d probably just find something fitting online and steal it, but regardless, find you a logo.
![[Image: Untitled_Artwork.png?width=794&height=581]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/736673368723423392/814914777569558528/Untitled_Artwork.png?width=794&height=581)
Step 2: Find your target demographic
Now it’s very important to us here at Greedy Guyz Brokerage that we never be under suspicion of tampering or breaking any official league rules. Because of this lawful nature, we’re not going to mass pursue every player in the league, but rather selectively target those with existing tamperable contracts already. We’ll approach them, give them our sales pitch, and sign them to the brokerage if we can. Likewise, when we make our introductory media post to the league for the brokerage, we’ll make it clear that a tamperable clause in your contract is necessary for partnership with the brokerage to help add to our potential pool of customers. Finally, we’re going to want to be prepared for free agency as well, once the free agency period opens, there’s a large pool of players available to be approached about signing with the brokerage as well, and we can look to bolster our numbers further from there. Everyone will be required to have or negotiate a tamperable contract into their deal, so the brokerage can be involved with all future dealings. Hell, maybe even add in No Trade clauses, so you can dictate what teams they play on as well.
I’d also suggest approaching the impending DSFL and ISFL draft classes; neither group will have existing ISFL contracts, and so by the letter of the law are not capable of being tampered. This is undoubtedly a valuable cache of potential clients, and should be picked through thoroughly to help buoy brokerage clientele.
The most important thing to remember during recruitment is this: TAMPERING CLAUSES ARE A MUST! If a player doesn’t have one, you can’t do anything with them once they’re under contract. So leverage the hell out of them, negotiate all of your members to have one and cover your ass.
Step 3: DO THE WORK
This to me is perhaps the most important part of being a broker… If you’re going to put yourself out there as one like I have with Greedy Guyz Brokerage, do the fucking work. Be talking to teams about your guys and building their draft stock, publish media puff pieces to build their fame in the league, make sweet graphics of their players making big plays, host a podcast about your top clientele about to get drafted into the league, help your clients negotiate contracts, DO SHIT. Don’t just say you’re going to be a broker because it sounds cool, or like a fun idea. If you’re going to live this deep into the grey, actually commit and do the job. One of the biggest reasons we’ve nuked agents in this league is because the ones that exist have done very little and get bored with it. Well, we’ve just gotten around the rules that keep you from doing things, so fucking do them.
I think it’d be neat as hell to see people in this league doing the stuff I described for other users as their broker… hell, maybe if that happened league perception of the idea might begin to change, and we’d find a place for them in the league rather then just closing the loophole we’re exploiting here…. Who knows. Anyways…
DO THE WORK
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit
As a broker you’re not actually going to be making any money from this, but likewise you’re not paying out the egregious agent fees the league requires either. I can’t say for certain, but I believe the general intent to be providing players with a sense of pride and accomplishment. Failing that, if you’re actually good at the broker thing, it’s probably fun to wield some power in the league outside of the normal GM, HO, and league job roles. Whatever your motivation might be I’m certain if you put in the actual effort, you’ll find your desired payoff with enough time. Also, brokers have the added benefit of being able to have a player of their own in the league as well, so if there’s some dull times in between offseasons, you’ll have your own player to look forward to.
So now that I’ve laid out the road map to being a broker in the league, and doing it on a total legal and legitimate basis, I’m sure you’re all wondering about the elephant in the room. “But Syl if I do this won’t I get in trouble?” To that I’d like to say….. Maybe?
I legitimately don’t believe this breaks any rules directly, though it arguably treads close to the “spirit” of several. That said, perhaps the most likely outcome of all of this is a further discourse about what we do and don’t allow in contracts here in the league, specifically tamperable clauses, which as someone who tried to start that discussion last rules summit, I think is great. Perhaps the Head Office amends the rules to disallow the loophole I’ve offered above, to me that’s arguably the laziest solution to this, but also probably the simplest. Or perhaps people take this for what it is, a meme media piece designed to farm up some league money while hopefully providing some interesting perspective on a much maligned area of the league.
Regardless of the outcome, I hope my man Philip Berrigan reads this from the afterlife with a smile on his face. Though you have to wonder what the afterlife looks like for a guy who was once excommunicated and married a nun. You know Philip is either having the time of his life, or is in a real bad way… no in between. But hell, maybe that’s the price you pay for “touching the state.”
TL;DR - Frost sux lmap
Word Count: 4,700ish, I made a few last minute edits. 262 less if you don't want me getting paid twice for the Raid plug. <3
RE: On Agents and how to Broker - ValorX77 - 02-26-2021
Now this is perfect.
RE: On Agents and how to Broker - Z-Whiz - 02-26-2021
Denied
RE: On Agents and how to Broker - Rusfan - 02-26-2021
TL;DR
RE: On Agents and how to Broker - Southie - 02-26-2021
(02-26-2021, 07:16 PM)Sylphreni Wrote: All I know is that his Wikipedia page records that he was married to a former nun in 1969 (nice) by what Wikipedia refers to as “Mutual Consent”. Now, having been married nearly 10 years myself I must admit I’m not super familiar with any alternatives to marrying by mutual consent, however I realize that the fact that Wikipedia felt the need to specify in regards to Philip’s life partner choices may cast some doubt on his moral fiber.
That's one of the weirdest thing I've seen on a Wikipedia Article honestly. I think maybe they're talking about a non-arranged marriage but Berrigan was a white Catholic from Minnesota. I don't think the Catholic Church had arranaged marriages in the 1960s.
I always thought that maybe he married a mail order bride but no, she was also a white lady from New Jersey. I have no clue what the hell this suppose to be talking about then.
RE: On Agents and how to Broker - Frostbite - 02-26-2021
I don't appreciate this tldr
RE: *On Agents and how to Broker - Memento Mori - 02-27-2021
lmfao at the sponsorship
(02-26-2021, 07:16 PM)Sylphreni Wrote: Agent Rule #4: An agent may have a league job to offset costs and they may take part in Twitter, Media, and GFX.League history note: It's a rule because previously agents couldn't do these things. Agents weren't paid for using twitter and got half payout when doing media and graphics. HO probably wanted to ban them outright, but fearing the backlash only went halfway and just made the rules as restrictive as they thought they could get away with. As you figure during the piece, the agent rules are designed to hamstring agents as much as possible and deter people from being agents. No one will retire their player to become an agent, it's something that people who've already retired might do between players (e.g. Tim retired his previous player for unrelated reasons, was an agent for a season or two, decided being a player was more fun).
Seems strange this even needs to be a rule to be honest. We’re charging $10 million a season for these people to have the pleasure of a position that can’t actually do anything in, how else are they going to make the money to hold such a prestigious position if not by these very things.
The way for agents to be impactful, and fun for the agents, is to operate outside of the rules as you describe - at least until the agent rules are changed again. Maybe there's a future where unregulated not-quite-agencies flourish, leading GMs and HO to finally relax the rules on agents so that they can regulate things.
RE: *On Agents and how to Broker - PMoney - 02-27-2021
This is a work of art
RE: *On Agents and how to Broker - DarknessRising - 02-27-2021
Quote:@SylphreniNow i can't speak for all of HO on this but I can attest to my personal opinion on this and how i view this/brought this up to HO. Dermot's "sports group" as it stands, has given us no reason to be punished. However, he has a very fine balencing act to master in order to avoid one fo two things
Now I know, some of you rules lawyers are going to call this semantics, but I’m happy to announce that during the creation of this piece this theory has already been tested! Long time user Dermot has seen fit to open his own “player sports groups” which in his own words “is not, never has been, and never will be a player agency.” How could it be an agency? It’s just a sports group, right? To my knowledge, this has provoked no action or fine from the Head Office, because as far as I can tell it’s perfectly legal. So regardless of if you want to be a “sports group”, “broker”, or “player advocate,” find the term that’s right for you, and use it. You’re far less regulated that way, and can live more in the grey, and for this to work we want to be Christian Grey levels of grey.
1. Be known as an agency. This seems obvious but its actually much harder and serve and less likely. Curretnly, since he cant have any team affiliation he would have to retire his player i guess? Plus has to pay the agency costs as well. This would allow him a bit more ability in doing things though
2. Tamper punishment. If he does get into the contract side of things (he has stated he never intends on but cant always beleive what people say) then that would be considered tampering if its actively getting people onto teams. There is a grey area here of "helping my friends discuss where they go" and "tamperining them onto a team" and that is where HO will have to work out, if need be, what is deemed as going to far
RE: *On Agents and how to Broker - infinitempg - 02-27-2021
ur hired where do i sign