The results of the annual workout day for ISFL prospects are here, and this season's class of seventy-nine have subjected themselves to the annual spectacle that is the ISFL Scouting Combine. Apparently, that re-vamp of the whole event is actually on the horizon, since some players were not invited to take part in every event in this season’s combine. Finally, someone upstairs has taken note of the ridiculousness of asking kickers to bench 225 lbs…

Anyway, as usual, the scouting combine took place over a few days, giving ISFL front office people a chance to get a look at their potential draft selections, doing… athlete-y things, I guess?

Anyway, first up, the quarterbacks


It’s a strange class in many ways, with more than half of the quarterbacks in this class looking like they might be geared more toward a mobile playstyle than going for your classic Mike Boss pocket passer type. This is particularly interesting because there has been talk this past season among ISFL coaches about the league possibly shifting away from the mobile quarterbacks that have been in vogue for a few years now.

That said, if the new crop of talent is particularly athletic, coaches will adapt, and likely we’ll see the already valuable offensive line position become even more desirable. Fair rubs indeed.

Anyway, I would say the prospects to watch here are probably Raeni Clarke, and ReallyInvisible (ha! irony!) who are by all accounts pretty hardcore trainers, as evidenced by their impressive athletic output. It’s easy to look at their joint-lowest-in-class Wonderlic scores of 42 and think this could be a problem, but … a 42 on the Wonderlic is still pretty damn awesome.

Next up, let's look at the running backs.


Okay so… if you’re not familiar with Busch Goose, I don’t know if you’re maybe living under a rock or you just got here or what. This kid is the real deal. Manhattan Project is this year’s speed king among running backs -- and we all know, in the ISFL, speed kills -- but Goose is outrageously smart for a running back, and that’s special.
Don’t get it twisted, Project is the superior athlete. The best in the class at this position, no doubt, and will almost certainly be a difference maker as a rookie… but in a league where the most athletic running backs often can’t even spell their own names (rumours that Project signed his Wonderlic test paper with a handprint and some squiggles in multiple colour of crayon could not be substantiated), having the smarts to potentially play at quarterback while not being a slouch athletically… that is different gravy.

Shout out to the man Remus Roman too (S-tier name btw - Ed.) who is somewhere between Goose and Project in terms of athleticism. Shame he’s also about as intelligent as the average potato.


On to the wide receivers.


Man, this class is nice. Straight away you can see three athletic monsters in this class. Saleem Spence has the speed to be a nasty deep threat, while Luke Quick will be tough to jam at the line, without being too sluggish to create separation, and Sam the Onion Man could probably make a catch one handed, while taking a dump in the other hand and slam dunking it in the DB’s face. He’s springy (geddit? Springy… onion…? Haha - Ed.)

Besides those three, Cowabunga and Chunt the Badger also look like solid prospects, though they may take a little longer to be impact players at ISFL level. The gap isn’t huge between them and this class’ leaders, though, and larger disparities have been erased in a year before.

Tight ends, next.


An unusually large tight end class this year, with Bender Rodriguez (not to be confused with the former ISFL lineman) and Makoa Mahi’ai leading the group I think. Rodriguez maybe a little more focused on agility and getting downfield, while Mahi’ai perhaps more in the classic big bodied, block and catch tight end mould.

If I were building a team myself, I’d probably go with Mahi’ai over Rodriguez, butI’m old school. A team picking up Rodriguez has the opportunity to exploit his size to make mismatches in the defense, and potentially pick up huge gains. There’s not really a “right answer” here.

The rest of the class is much of a muchness if I’m being brutally honest. Weaver perhaps the best of the rest on account of his blocking potential, either him or Marriott, who looks like a Mahi’ai who maybe needs a little longer in the crucible.


Uh, on to the offensive linemen, then.


Alright so, a lot of casual fans won’t realise this but other than the quarterback -- and sometimes even including the quarterback -- the smartest guys on the field are often the offensive linemen. I bring this up because in terms of sheer athleticism, the front-runner for best in class this year is Cade Williams. However… Cade Williams is about as bright as the average wide receiver. Which is to say, not that bright. Kinda like… forty watts bright, in a world where most offensive linemen are at least sixty watts and running backs are… uh… a dark room..? I don’t know how well that metaphor works, to be honest, but I like to think I made my point.

Other than Williams, Heenie, Cupz, and Gray are all solid prospects, who will no doubt be a plus to ISFL sides after maybe another year or two in the DSFL to fully mature -- no really, the ISFL is a brutal step up if you’re not fully prepared. But my pick of the class is Stumpy Jones. Nowhere near as quick or as agile as Williams, but almost as strong, and significantly more cerebral. You can train your body far more easily than your mind, in my experience.


Time to switch sides and look at the defensive linemen now.


A large group of defensive linemen this year, perhaps a little heavier on ends, but there is some solid depth here for any ISFL team who needs to bolster their D-line (*pointedly eyes Colorado*)

There are five guys here who run a 40 in 4.41 seconds or less. That’s … objectively terrifying. These are monsters on the edge. Particularly Mongo and Glenn Smart, who are not only fast but also pretty agile. Sure they don’t boast the raw physical strength of a Prof. Godfrey Gravity or Andrew Warthol, but my god these guys can and will blow up your backs.

Speaking of Gravity, he might be the class leader at tackle, and has a pretty sharp mind. I’d give him the nod over Ramczyk mainly for the sizeable strength advantage, even though the latter is noticeably quicker off the mark and appears to have a significantly larger span, owing to significantly more explosive leg power.


Moving back a level, we have linebackers.


Dexter Hall will be the first linebacker off the board. I said it.

No other backer in this draft is even close, in my opinion. He’s fast, he’s strong, he’s agile… okay so he’s not the brightest, but you line him up on the outside with a smarter man next to him and he’s going to put offenses on notice. Think of guys like Harrif Ernston. A fierce competitor who will make most backs think twice about that run up the gut.

Now this isn’t to say that others in this class aren’t good players. Chuggs and Watterson look like they might be better suited to middle linebacker, if you have good support from your safeties perhaps. Then, to be frank, if Brooks Bane is your consolation prize in the “I want Dexter Hall” raffle, you’ve done alright. Sure, he’s not gonna hit as hard or close as easily but he’s also fast, strong and agile. He’s also… uh… not the brightest. More so than Hall. But hey, sacrifices. If he’s gotta eat some fines for racking up penalties who cares as long as he helps you win, right? In fact I have a comment here from … Pawn Shayton? He says it totally works. Unless you get suspended. Do we even have suspensions in this league for on-field shenanigans? Other than Roidson, which is a borderline case really, I honestly can’t remember one.

Now we reach my personal favourite position group; the defensive backs.


Hoooo boy. I honestly don’t think there’s a bad pick here until like… ten DBs are off the board. Maybe even more. Most of these guys, probably all of them, will need to develop in the DSFL for a season or two because of the nature of the ISFL these days, but that’s not a reflection on their ability or lack thereof.

In fact, I’d probably push for the top two or three to get immediate callups. I firmly believe that players of the calibre of Juno Hu and Anton Bruckner are pretty much ISFL ready. Give them an offseason of prep, get them in training camp and doing OTAs with their new team and they will be ready to step up, I’m sure of it. They’re smart enough to grasp the playbooks, quick enough to hang with all but the very fastest, and agile enough to stick on all but the most elusive. Sure they could stand to bulk up a bit, maybe develop a little more explosiveness… but that can be done in an offseason no problem.

Aside from those two, Amy Wong looks better than many have given her credit for, I think. Similarly Cole Maxwell, Romulus Roman (also a fantastic name - Ed.) and Tim Soulja could be ISFL ready within a year, no doubt.

I suspect team priorities will be less based on ability when it comes to this group, and more on team fit. A good DB will always be in demand, though, so I’d expect to see most of these names off the board by the middle rounds. Only really guys like Steele and Fields, who seem to have slacked a little on training in the DSFL will see the late rounds, I imagine.


Finally, we come to special teams. Unlike in previous seasons, we did not ask the kickers to take part in the regular seven events, instead lining up something special just for them.

We present to you, the inaugural placekicker challenge!

First, a quick explanation. From a range of distances and angles, each kicker will attempt three field goals, with the points for successful kicks varying by distance and angle. For example, a 20 yard kick down the middle is worth 10 points, while the same kick at 60 yards is worth 30.

In addition, kickers can earn bonus points for set numbers of successful kicks at each distance (100% at 20 yards, 67% at 30 or 40 yards, 50% at 50 yards, or just more than one success at 60 yards) as well as up to 10 points for their longest streak of consecutive successful kicks.

The winning participant is whoever amasses the most points. Without further ado, let’s begin!


After eight straight accurate kicks from 20 on the left hash mark, Toy Robot shanks the third attempt wide. All three slice wide on their first attempt from the right hash mark, perhaps owing to unpredictable winds. Another five straight kicks sail through, before Toy Robot clangs one off the outside of the nearside upright.

With all three kickers missing at least one in the 20 yard round, no bonus points were awarded.


The pressure clearly getting to our participants in the early stages of the round, with four of nine kicks off target. They all recovered, though, to put fifteen of the remaining eighteen through the uprights.

With two participants -- Rainbow Dash and Toy Robot -- nailing at least six of nine from this distance, they picked up 20 bonus points each ahead of the 40 yard round, giving Rainbow Dash a lead of over 30 points at this juncture.


Rainbow Dash completes a sequence of ten straight made kicks to pick up a 10 point bonus, while also nailing all but one of the 40 yarders, snagging another 20 point bonus. Dallas Dole matches Dash's tally from 40 yards, but earns two more points after striking the upright on one of the kicks from the centre (as opposed to Dash missing from the left hash), while Toy Robot has an absolute 'mare, missing four of nine.

Heading into the 50 yard round, Rainbow Dash leads by 58, on 336 points, with Toy Robot a distant third on 232 points.


It's all gone Pete Tong for Rainbow Dash. With more points at stake, Dash sends four kicks wide of the uprights but it's still enough to pick up the accuracy bonus. Dallas Dole nails six in a row to match Dash's 10 kick streak bonus, but also narrows the gap to just 13 points ahead of the final round.

Toy Robot matches Dash's tally, and picks up more points -- again, taking advantage of the centre kicks being worth fewer points -- but still sits in a distant third place, some 99 points off the lead. With fewer points remaining to earn, Toy Robot knows victory is out of reach, and the final round will be a duel between Dole and Dash.


A perfect showing from Dallas Dole at 60 yards while Dash drags their second kick wide, sees Dash snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, while Toy Robot will be disappointed as all three of their kicks were on target, but the final two fell short -- perhaps the fatigue of the previous thirty-four kicks setting in.

The final points tallies were thus:



To wrap things up, I normally add some notes about this season’s combine here, but we don’t have time in this broadcast, due to the placekicker challenge (OOC: bruh it’s almost 11pm and I’m tired). Trivia and records information will be added to the wiki article in due time, however. As will the full, sortable results. Check the link below over the next couple of days. The all-time comparison thingy should work though.