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+---- Thread: *Who's the newest Sabercat? [Ready For Grading] (/showthread.php?tid=30779)
*Who's the newest Sabercat? [Ready For Grading] - j00 - 03-17-2021
A shirtless Juno approaches the podium, his coconut oiled body glistening under the lights and camera flashes. A shiny pair of platinum chains swing back and forth around his neck, one with a Luchadores logo, the other, a shiny new Sabercats logo, as he saunters up to the podium.
"Sannnnnnnnn Joe-zyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! Sabercat countyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! WUSSSSSSSSSAHHHHHHHHHHHH!??!?!??!?! deep breath AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He spends a few moments flexing and posing for all the various photographers before adjusting the microphone.
@RussDrivesTheBus: Is a hotdog a sandwich? Why or why not?
A hotdog can be a sandwich if you want it to be, man. Don't let your dreams be dreams. I would not dare to assume the identity of a hotdog.
@Rradum: How do you feel about being drafted by the Sabercats?
What'ju want me to say, man, that it feels like trash? Fuck's wrong with you and the rest of the media world with these clickbaity questions? Reporters everywhere the fuckin' same! You know what though? Lemme get a 50/50 cut on your tabloid's revenue and I'll say whatever the fuck you want. I'm in bad shape.
@Rradum: Where did you think you'd end up before the draft aired?
1st round no doubt. It was just a matter of GMs having the intelligence to draft me, which is the real unreliable factor. As they say, there is no floor to human stupidity. At least 5 GMs have outed themselves to the world to being neanderthals. If I were a player on those teams, I'd be feelin' pretty shaky about my team administration's competency!
@Rradum: Does a straw have one or two holes?
Topology major here. Just one of my many majors, actually. One hole! Did you know that a normal / healthy human has 7 holes?
@slothfacekilla: How surprised were you by the draft, where you went and where other went?
#1 and #2 confirmed some of my suspicions on how insidiously corrupt the league is. It's a shame that I love football too much to go into any other line of employment. And hell yeah I was surprised! I fell to #7, can you believe that?? Shoulda been top 3 at worst! Shame on the scouts and GMs over in Baltimore, Orange County, Philadelphia, Arizona, and New York!
@slothfacekilla: How soon do you think you’ll be in San Jose?
You doin' alright there, son? I'm already here, baby! We here, live from San Joe-zy! You lost or somethin'?
@slothfacekilla: How did you celebrate the draft?
I got right to house shoppin' immediately. One of the keys to performing is to live as close to the stadium as possible, that way you can wake up as late as possible on game days! I got a place that's only a 2 minute walk, and once I sign my contract I'll be able to afford a chauffeur which should be able to get me there within 30 seconds! I'll be able to wake up like 30 mins before kickoff, nut--uhh, brush my teeth and shit, and then be ready to go with plenty of time to spare!
@Asked Madden: What targets would you like to meet over your career?
All of 'em, and I'ma be pissed for each one that I miss. Voter bias I tell ya! I'm already pissed about gettin' snubbed by that CK Sonjacked guy in the DSFL. I'm tellin' you, I'm the best evah. DB of the week, every week. DB of the year. DB of the decade. DB of All Time. Just start makin' my bust now 'cause it's a lock. I'ma lead the league in everything, it's just a matter of when!
@Asked Madden: Who are you most excited to share a locker room with in SJS?
Iono, but I hope I get to take that bum ass Rich Triplett's locker! I'll be honest, I haven't paid much attention to the ISFL, but now that I'm here, I guess I got some catchin' up to do. You guys caught me before I even got a chance to meet my teammates yet, so I'm lookin forward to that. We got some great names here. Lookin' forward to sparring with the Hood in practice, seein' how big that monster Otis Allen is in person, meetin' my new partner in crimes Stein, Lanier, Vaughne, Hilliard, and the rest of the defensive squad, feastin' on some nachos with Monty, goin' through training camp with the new face Duke Cheeks, amd we gon' be clappin' 'nom sayin?? It's gonna be a whole lotta fun and I can't wait to hop into the fold(s)!
@mee: How excited are you to get crushed by the New Orleans Second Line?
I have no worries whatsoever about the Second Line considering they have self-proclaimed themselves to always be second. They really oughta change their name to be First Line if they want any amount of success in this league. How fitting that they finished second in the league this past season by losing the Ultimus! And I bet even during your tank years you probably couldn't end up with the #1 pick either. Have fun always being second!
@zaynzk: Why is Raylan Crowder so smelly?
I haven't had the chance to become acquainted with the apparent foul smelling bodily odors of Raylan Crowder yet, but if this is a fact, then you are an incredibly rude and disrespectful reporter for leaking what is potentially a very embarassing medical condition that Crowder can do nothing about! Have you never heard of HIPAA? Shame on you! And if this is false, then it's probably your upper lip, my man.
"Aiite, that it? Yeah, go ahead, take ya pictures!" camera flashes chkchkchckhkchkhckchcckhckhckhckhckchkchchckckhckhckhckhckckhckh....
RE: Who's the newest Sabercat? - RussDrivesTheBus - 03-17-2021
Is a hotdog a sandwhich? Why or why not?
RE: Who's the newest Sabercat? - Rradum - 03-17-2021
How do you feel about being drafted by the Sabercats?
Where did you think you'd end up before the draft aired?
Does a straw have one or two holes?
RE: Who's the newest Sabercat? - slothfacekilla - 03-17-2021
How surprised were you by the draft, where you went and where other went?
How soon do you think you’ll be in San Jose?
How did you celebrate the draft?
RE: Who's the newest Sabercat? - Asked Madden - 03-18-2021
What targets would you like to meet over your career?
Who are you most excited to share a locker room with in SJS?
RE: Who's the newest Sabercat? - mee - 03-21-2021
How excited are you to get crushed by the New Orleans Second Line?
RE: Who's the newest Sabercat? - zaynzk - 03-21-2021
Why is Raylan Crowder so Smelly