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*Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - Printable Version

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*Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - shrub02 - 03-29-2021

Alright guys, as the dawn of the new season is upon us I’ve decided to take one last look back at the previous season while still looking ahead. To do that, I will be comparing each team in the DSFL and ISFL to a Star Wars vehicle of my choosing. Let’s dive right in!

I generally looked at:
  • Offensive rush and pass yards
  • Defenses are ranked by points scored against
  • Players lost/gained since the offseason started
DSFL

NORFOLK SEAWOLVES  NOR
 
VULTURE DROID STARFIGHTER
[Image: droid_starfighters.png]
 
The vulture droid is an unmanned light fighter that relies on speed and overwhelming numbers to defeat its opponents. It's generally pretty crappy when fighting one on one against sentient enemies (or meatbags as Bender would call them). They can pack a decent punch being armed with four blaster cannons and two torpedo launchers. The Seawolves, similarly, are an agile team without much heft to them. Last season, they could move the ball fairly easily through the air, finishing 3rd in passing. They completely lacked the ability to run the ball though. Like the vulture droid, which doesn’t have a strong shield, Norfolk lacked a strong defense, finishing 2nd to last. The Seawolves were largely ineffective last season, except when playing the Grey Ducks for some reason. Who knows. The sim gon’ sim. Going into this season, Norfolk lost many players to the ISLF and one to a trade:
  • WR Lalo Salamanca
  • DT Candice D. Fitinyomouf
  • WR Sam the Onion Man
  • DE Bean Beanman
  • S Sparky Sparky Boom-man
  • WR Joseph Radetzky
CB Amy Wong
The Seawolves are hoping their first three draft picks and a player received in a trade will help change the course of their weak run game and defense.
  • RB Jay Cue Jr, a power back (177)
  • RB Dante King, a receiving back (163)
  • DE Malik F. Doom (83) 
  • LB DeAndre Chuggs (trade, 250 capped)
 
 
LONDON ROYALS  LON
 
JEDI STARFIGHTER - INTERCEPTOR
[Image: anakinseta2.jpg]
 
A great fighter on paper, the Jedi starfighter was largely ineffective as many of the Jedi were not great pilots. Don’t get me wrong it could be very powerful when you had a good pilot, such as Anakin, in the cockpit. The fighter was small and fast, designed to be extremely responsive in order to compliment its pilot’s force sensitivities. Likewise, the Royals were a good team on paper that lacked effective execution on the field. Even with 2nd best defense and 3rd best rushing attack, they were unable to do anything with the season, finishing last in the North conference. Possibly because they had the 2nd worst passing offense. The Royals’ defense took a beating this offseason losing a lot of its key players:
  • DT Maron Brando
  • LB Logan Sarrason
  • S Caven McRea
  • CB Lawrence Miller
  • WR Tsuyu Asui
  • LB Duke Cheeks
  • TE Makoa Mahiʻai
London used its first three picks to try and fill these holes selecting:
  • 1st LB Sam Squanch (137)
  • 2nd DE Lucid Dreams (111)
  • 3rd DE Will “Brick Wall” Smyth (117)
 
 
PORTLAND PYTHONS  POR
 
IMPERIAL SPEEDER BIKE
[Image: databank_speederbike_01_169_c4204c29.jpeg]
 
One of the coolest vehicles in the universe, the Imperial speeder bike is a very fast and agile vehicle used for reconnaissance. It's literally all speed. No durability. It actually had built in sensors that relayed information about upcoming terrain to the helmet of the pilot, allowing them to react quickly. That was necessary because if you lost your focus for a single second, you’re dead. I feel like I’m describing the Pythons’ season in a nutshell. They flew all over the field on both offense and defense, finishing 1st in both categories. Unfortunately for them they lost focus in the playoffs, crashed and burned. The offseason hit them pretty hard too, losing several players to call ups:
  • LB Donald McBobby
  • S Evan Jones
  • LB Kevin Morrison
  • RB Giovanni  Bianchi
  • OL Stumpy Jones
The Pythons tried to keep their defense strong in the draft, picking three defensive players:
  • 1st CB Suggs Upshar (107)
  • 2nd CB Lip Gallagher (140)
  • 3rd LB Elliot Hord (73)
 
 
BONDI BEACH BUCCANEERS  BBB
 
REPUBLIC ATTACK GUNSHIP
[Image: databank_republicattackgunship_01_169_4ed5c0a7.jpeg]
 
The republic gunship was made famous in episode II when they swooped in with Yoda to save a bunch of Jedi during the battle of Geonosis. It is basically a heavily armed troop transport. Think the Chinook but with a lot more firepower. I kind of view BBB as basically a transport vessel for rookies from the DSFL to the ISFL. I mean I don’t have access to their locker room or know anyone there but judging by how they updated last season, not much was happening there. The Bucs had the 3rd worst passing and 4th worst rushing offense. Somehow the defense was actually worse, finishing dead last in points scored. That's the main reason I chose the republic attack gunship to represent Bondi Beach; they had an offense that could hurt the weaker foes but didn’t have the defense needed to survive many games. Luckily for BBB they only had one player called up:
  • CB HeHateMe PickSix II
The Bucs started off the draft strong by improving their defense and then took an interesting strategy, drafting two TEs in a row:
  • 1st LB Tre’Mendus Johnson (130)
  • 2nd TE Chevvy Bronko (177)
  • 3rd TE Beau Novak (58)
 
 
MINNESOTA GREY DUCKS  MIN  
 
REBEL SNOWSPEEDER
[Image: snowspeeder_ef2f9334.jpeg]
 
The snowspeeder was an aircraft specially modified to operate in cold weather conditions. They were featured in episode V during the Battle of Hoth (should've been called Colth, amirite?). The snowspeeder is my second favorite vehicle in Star Wars. I just love the battle scenes when they take out a stronger enemy using alternative methods. I was really sad when I watched this scene for the first time when Dak, Luke’s copilot, dies. I don’t know for some reason I was really rooting for him. Anyways, I like to think of the Grey Ducks as the snowspeeders because they both operate in the cold. Like the snowspeeder, Minnesota had to employ alternative methods to win games. Its offense struggled most of the season, having the 2nd worst rushing and 4th worst passing offense. That is a bit misleading as they had a great RB in Madison Hayes but lacked a RB by committee crew that many teams had. The Grey Ducks’ defense was solid, though, as they finished in the top 3. Minnesota is looking to take it to the next level level even though they’re losing several key players:
  • QB Ryan Negs
  • TE  Bender Rodriguez
  • CB James Gath
  • WR Mike Hunt
  • RB Madison Hayes
  • DE DeAndrea Chuggs (Trade)
The Ducks’ top three draft picks plus a trade pick up should help sure up some weak spots:
  • CB Amy Wong (Trade, 250 capped)
  • 1st QB Conner Craig Jr (177)
  • 2nd LB David Frank (163)
  • 3rd WR Janis Lux (83)
Obligatory QUACK
 
 
TIJUANA LUCHADORES  TIJ  
 
SANDCRAWLER
[Image: databank_sandcrawler_01_169_55acf6cb.jpeg]
 
The Jawas are creatures that roam the deserts of Tatooine, scavenging for anything useful. They take refuge in huge mobile fortresses called sandcrawlers. These things are big enough to fit a whole clan of Jawas, facilities for processing scrap, and living quarters. While heavily fortified, they are slow and lack effective weapons for defense. I think this is the perfect representation for Tijuana. Much like the Jawa, the Luchadores are right at home in the desert. They are a hefty team, having the best rushing attack and worst passing offense. Similar to the sandcrawler, Tijuana’s game plan is to stay on the ground. They also had a pretty weak defense, finishing 6th in the league. You can see the Luchadores resourcefulness, though, as they were able to scavenge enough victories to get in the playoffs. They took a beating this offseason with several key players called up:
  • DT David Ramczyk
  • RB Preston Parker
  • CB Juno Hu
  • RB Drip Dad
  • S Jonathan Shuffleboard
  • CB Buck Nekkid
It looks like Tijuana is going to be a force on the ground again this season judging by 2/3 of their first three picks:
  • 1st TE Gronku Muerto (134)
  • 2nd LB Marcus Jones (168)
  • 3rd OL Sir Peter Jackson (107)
 
 
KANSAS CITY COYOTES  KCC
 
NABOO STARFIGHTER
[Image: n-1_starfighter.png]
 
If you are looking for the ferrari of Star Wars vehicles, look no further than the Naboo Starfighter. It is a slick and effective fighter designed to portray a certain air of royalty fitting of Naboo’s government. The starfighter struggled early in the Battle of Naboo, being unable to take out the battle droid command station. It wasn’t until the Naboo starfighter piloted by Anakin crashed inside the station and accidentally destroyed its power core that the battle was won. This actually resembles the Coyotes’ last season pretty well. With a pretty average offense (4th best rushing and passing) and defense (5th in the league), Kansas City struggled in the middle of the season. They were able to rally at the end, though, securing a playoff spot and making it to the championship game. The Coyotes will be hard pressed to repeat this success as they lost two of their star players this offseason. Oh and they lost a kicker too:
  • WR Luke Quick
  • RB Busch Goose
  • K Armondo Galarraga
Although it appears they picked up some good replacements in the first three rounds:
  • 1st RB Rejoignez LOrdreSombre (166)
  • 2nd WR Quinton Crash (167)
  • 3rd DE Amabacus Fitted (108)
 
 
DALLAS BIRDDOGS  DAL
 
IMPERIAL SHUTTLE
[Image: veh_ia_1752_040381b2.jpeg]
 
Duh duh duh DUN DA DUN, DUN DA DUN. Whenever I see this ship, the Imperial March plays in my head. The Imperial shuttle is a transport vessel used to move a platoon sized element or VIPs.  It is well armed and protected by a deflector shield. The Imperial shuttle carries with it an intimidating presence. If one of these lands in your area, you’d better gtfo. The Birddogs had this same feel last season. While they lagged in the run game (placing 6th), they made up for it passing (2nd best) and had a solid defense (4th best). Yet Dallas just had that intangible element that allowed them to win games, all the way through claiming a championship. They wreaked havoc on any team that stood in their path. And the Birddogs are primed to do it again, as they only lost two players to call ups:
  • CB Jason Bradshaw
  • TE Borgo San Lorenzo
In the draft, Dallas looked to replace their lost TE and sure up a middling defense:
  • 1st TE Joey Marston (146)
  • 2nd S Cherity Beaver (116)
  • 3rd S Darius Severance (100)
So that wraps up the DSFL comparisons. I didn’t look at each team’s outlook for s28 because the DSFL is just so hard to predict. Plus this article was originally just going to be ISFL teams but there are so many great vehicles in Star Wars. It's too much fun. Now we have the main event: ISFL teams.
 
 
ISFL
 
NEW YORK SILVERBACKS  NYS
 
SLAVE ONE
[Image: databank_slavei_01_169_8dc3102d.jpeg]
 
Definitely one of the coolest vehicles out there, Slave One is piloted by an awesome character, Boba Fett. It is heavily armed but you wouldn’t know it by looking at it, as Slave One was modified to conceal its weapons. It also has a modified shield to make it able to withstand fire from most attackers. Slave One is also equipped with an advanced jamming radar allowing it to disappear from enemy radar. So why are the Silverbacks like Slave One you ask? Mainly because they are a formidable team that dresses itself as a weaker one. They started off last season very hot, only to end on a massive losing streak and fall off the playoff radar. The Silverbacks kept their guns hidden as their offense finished near the bottom (4th worst rushing, 2nd worst passing). They did have a strong defensive showing, ranking at 6th best. New York lost a couple players this offseason:
Lost:
  • S Thor Kirkby (Retirement)
  • RB Ashley Owens (Retirement)
Interestingly enough the Silverbacks did not call up anyone from the DSFL and had no major free agent signing. This leads me to believe that they will probably have a similar season to last, if not slightly worse, missing the playoffs.
  
 
BERLIN FIRE SALAMANDERS  BER
 
ARMORED ASSAULT TANK (AAT)
[Image: databank_aatbattletank_01_169_9de46aea.jpeg]
 
The AAT is another one of those vehicles that looks good on paper, but is relatively ineffective in the films. In fact it was actually continued to be used by the Rebel Alliance against the Empire in the lore stories. The AAT’s main weapons include a heavy laser cannon, two smaller laser turrets, and energy shell launchers. Its strong armor makes it a formidable opponent, though an all droid crew hinders its opponents in battle. I liken the Fire Salamanders to the AAT because they never could get that winning edge in games. Most likely because of their mediocre offense, ranking 7th in passing and 9th in rushing. Most of their wins came against weaker teams. One bright spot for Berlin was their strong defense, finishing the season ranked 4th. Another bright spot is the fact that they did not lose any key players over the offseason, which is very important for them moving forward. The Fire Salamanders made some moves this offseason to make their defense even stronger and helped out their offense a little too: 
  • Pick ups:
  1. WR Susan Cash Jr (Trade, 687)
  2. CB Eldrick Avery (Trade, 1170)
  • Call ups:
  1. DT Maron Brando (509)
Belin heads into s28 with a strong defense again, but not much improvement in their offense. Because of this I see them finishing near the bottom of the NSFC. Luckily for them they have Baltimore to pad the bottom of their conference.
  
 
HONOLULU HAHALUA  HON  
 
AT-AT WALKER
[Image: at-at_1.jpg]
 
The All Terrain Armored Transport Walker, aka AT-AT, is the Empire’s most heavily armored ground vehicle. Armed with two powerful laser cannons, they were used to dominate the Rebels during the iconic Battle of Hoth. Simply an imposing presence and symbol of Imperial might. But they were not invincible and could be taken out by weaker opponents using their ingenuity. This is representative of Honolulu’s season. They dominated all season long, winning their conference and easily making the playoffs. The Hahalua did this by having a great passing attack (4th overall), decent rushing game (ranking 7th), and a simply dominating defense (2nd overall). But just like the AT-AT, Honolulu fell to a weaker foe during the playoffs. Sometimes pure might doesn’t work out for you. As far as I can tell, the Hahalua did not lose any major players during the off season and even made some good additions:
  • Pickups:
  1. DT Big Edd  (Free agent, 920)
  • Call ups:
  1. CB Jason Bradshaw (382)
  2. WR Lalo Salamanca (558)
Things are looking good for Honolulu heading into the season. They strengthened their already strong passing attack and defense. I think they'll finish second in the ASFC and make the playoffs. From there it's anyone’s guess.
 
 
ARIZONA OUTLAWS  ARI
 
Y-WING BOMBER
[Image: y-wing-fighter_0e78c9ae.jpeg]
 
The Y-wing bomber was a starfighter used by the Rebels against the Empire. It has a great combination of speed and firepower. Being armed with a laser cannon, ion torpedoes, and extremely powerful proton bombs, a squadron of Y-wings can easily level a city. They were used in the Battle of Yavin to try and take out the Death Star. During the battle, several of them were destroyed by Darth Vader in his modified TIE fighter (foreshadowing a future choice, maybe). One of the big reasons I chose the Y-wing for the Outlaws is because of their devastating run attack, ranked 1st in the league. I like to think of the strength of their run game similar to the strength of the city destroying bombs. While on these bombing runs, Y-wings could not be very agile, likening it to Arizona’s pass attack, which was ranked 4th worst. The outlaws showed that they were a balanced team with their defense, finishing 5th overall. These stats helped them make the playoffs, only to lose to the Secondline. In the offseason, the Outlaws focused on making their strengths even better:
  • Pickups:
  1. CB Rich Triplet  (free agent, 909)
  2. DT -> OL Brent Silva (free agent, 449)
  • Call ups:
  1. LB Logan Sarrason (472)
  2. LB -> OL Donald McBobby (433)
With two additions on the O-line and two more on defense, I suspect Arizona will have the top run game again this season and an even better defense. My guess is that they’ll finish first in the ASFC and, obviously, make the playoffs.
 
 
BALTIMORE HAWKS  BAL
 
ANAKIN’S PODRACER
[Image: podraceranakin.jpg]
 
Oh the podracer. Many fans hate these scenes in episode I. Personally, I enjoyed them. But I also like pretty much everything Star Wars. Anyways, podracers are extremely fast hovering vehicles that, as the name implies, are used for racing. This was a very dangerous game as the high speeds and compact tracks led to many deaths. It was an incredible feat for Anakin to pilot one of these, especially as his podracer was said to be the fastest and he flew it as a young boy. This is why I chose Anakin’s podracer to represent the Hawks; they have an extremely young team. Like podracers, Baltimore lacked any real firepower last season, having the 4th worst rushing attack, 5th worst passing, and by far the worst defense. Needless to say they didn’t win any games. The Hawks added a plethora of young talent this offseason:
  • Call ups:
  1. WR Luke Quick (348)
  2. RB Busch Goose (359)
  3. WR Chunt The Badger (313)
  4. TE Makoa Mahiʻai (292)
  5. DT David Ramczyk (223)
  6. S Caven McRea (503)
  7. CB Lawrence Miller (461)
  8. RB Preston Parker (429)
  9. K Armondo Galarraga (145)
Yeah, it's not looking good for Baltimore in the near future. And they know that. Maybe they’ll win one game this season because the sim be that way sometimes but they’re a near lock for last place. I do look forward to seeing the rebuild in the future. Should be interesting. 
  
 
AUSTIN COPPERHEADS  AUS
 
TIE FIGHTER
[Image: tie-fighter_25397c64_0.jpeg]
 
Just reading the name TIE fighter evokes the iconic sound of a TIE whizzing by. The TIE fighter was the main vehicle employed by the Empire in their strike force teams. It is armed with a weak laser cannon and two concussion missiles, supplemented by a weak shield. The TIE fighter is known for getting pummeled in pretty much every battle it's seen in. Wait, was I talking about the TIE fighter or the Copperheads? Austin got worked by pretty much every team last season. Actually that’s not true. They lost a lot of close games. But they lost them nonetheless so the TIE fighter it is! The Copperheads were an agile team, finishing 5th best in passing but 2nd worst rushing. Like the TIE fighter they had a weak defense, ranking 3rd worst. Their additions show an attempt to sure up their weak defense:
  • Pickups:
  1. S Hamish MacAndrew (Free agent, 873)
  • Call ups:
  1. DT Candice D. Fitinyomouf (387)
The Copperheads made some moves to improve their defense but was it enough? I don’t think so. They may play better this year but I still see them on the bottom of the NSFC.
 
 
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY  PHI
 
TIE BOMBER
[Image: ep5_key_504_6c3982bb.jpeg]
 
The TIE Bomber is a precision bomber used by the Empire. Known as the “sitting duck” to the Rebels, it is slow and not very maneuverable but can strike hard with its powerful arsenal of bombs and torpedoes. Like the TIE fighter, the TIE bomber is equipped with weak shields. That is actually a pretty good description of the Liberty. They were not very agile, finishing 8th overall in passing, but could hit you with their power run game, ranked 4th best. Their weak defense hindered them, though, finishing the season as the 4th worst. The Liberty lost a couple key player but made up for it with some pretty good pick ups:
  • Lost:
  1. OL Brent Silva (free agency)
  2. QB Brock Phoenix (retirement)
  • Picked up:
  1. OL Alexander Franklin (free agent, 573)
  2. RB Anders Christiansen (free agent, 514)
  • Call ups:
  1. WR Tsuyu Asui (540)
  2. TE Borgo San Lorenzo (476)
  3. QB Ryan Negs (648)
Every position that Philly lost they picked up this offseason. That's a pretty good deal. They added a young QB in Negs, hopefully he doesn’t have anymore four pic halves. Joking aside, he should be a good addition. I think the Liberty are still in rebuilding mode and will probably finish near the bottom of the NSFC.
  
 
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS  OCO
 
A-WING INTERCEPTOR
[Image: screen_shot_2015-05-26_at_5_16a39e17.png]
 
Alright, now we get to the team that drafted me. I have to give us a good pick that is also representative. So I chose my favorite fighter in Star Wars, the A-wing interceptor. As a kid, it was always so fun to play as in the original Rogue Squadron game on the N64. The A-wing is a quick starfighter that could also pack a punch. The Rebels equipped it with 2 laser cannons and it could hold up to 14 concussion missiles. It was very effective in air-to-air combat. Hopefully not too much bias showed through with this pick. I think the A-wing represents the Otters well because they are both agile, the Otters finishing 6th in passing. Maybe not so much in power, as Orange County placed 12th overall, but whatever it's my article. Also, the Otters defense finished in 8th place for defense. This off season, Orange County lost a kicker, and then picked one up, along with some other prospects:
  • Lost:
  1. K Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname (Retirement)
  • Pick ups:
  1. K Datsum Phastbawls 421 (free agent)
  • Call ups:
  1. TE -> LB Bender Rodriguez (330)
  2. WR Sam the Onion Man (340)
  3. DE Bean Beanman (472)
Wow, that is a great list of call ups there. But seriously, the Otters already had a solid foundation and now they have some new young talent to add to the mix. I think they will surprise people and finish third in the conference, sneaking into the playoffs.
  
 
SAN JOSE SABERCATS  SJS
 
AT-ST WALKER
[Image: e6d_ia_5724_a150e6d4.jpeg]
 
The All Terrain Scout Transport, or AT-ST, is used for reconnaissance and troop support. It dominated against personnel forces not in vehicles. It was armed with two light blaster cannons and a concussion grenade launcher. Needless to say, Rebel ground forces feared this beast. Likewise, the Sabercats ground game was feared by its opponents, finishing 3rd overall. And San Jose was most definitely not taking flight as it had the worst passing attack in the league. They had a pretty good defense, but could be taken advantage of, demonstrated by its rank of 9th overall. The Sabercats’ defense was weakened this offseason by losing two key players: 
  • Lost:
  1. DE Xmus Flaxon Jaxon-Waxon (free agent)
  2. CB Rich Triplet (free agent)
  • Call ups:
  1. CB Juno Hu (342)
  2. LB Duke Cheeks (508)
San Jose is looking to replace them with two call ups from the DSFL. I’m not sure if it's going to be enough. I think their position falls this season, finishing second to last in the ASFC.
  
 
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS  YKW
 
IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER
[Image: star-destroyer_ab6b94bb.jpeg]
 
The star destroyer is another one of those vehicles that just exudes power. It was a serious show of force. You knew that if one of these showed up, you’d better surrender or prepare for a fight that you're likely to lose. They usually carried TIE fighters, bombers, AT-ATs, and AT-STs in order to bring the fight to their enemies. Star destroyers were not invincible, though, as the Rebels figured out several ways to take them out. Similarly, when you face the Wraiths, you better prepare for battle. They had a high powered offense last season, finishing 4th best in passing and 6th best passing. Yellowknife’s defense did not live up to this standard as it was the 2nd worst in the league, which is probably the reason it missed the playoffs. The Wraiths didn’t lose much this offseason but made some decent acquisitions:
  • Call ups:
  1. DE Andrew Warthol (300)
  2. CB Kita Chiasa (361)
All in all Yellowknife pretty much looks like the same team as last season. They made some additions that will help them in the future. It looks to me that they will finish in the same spot, 4th in the NSFC, and miss the playoffs.
  
 
CHICAGO BUTCHERS  CHI
 
IMPERIAL DEATH STAR
[Image: death-star-i-copy_36ad2500.jpeg]
 
The Death Star. The embodiment of the Empire as a space station. Truly the most terrifying force in all of Star Wars. I don’t even really have to explain it but I will. The Death Star is a moon sized space station with the power to destroy whole planets. Not to mention its many other armaments to defend itself. In addition it can hold seven thousand starfighters, among other vehicles. But, as we all know, there was a weakness built in by the head architect, who was actually a rebel sympathizer. To me, this is exactly like the Butchers. Throughout last season they seemed like the team to beat. Almost no one could stop them. They had the 5th best rushing attack and 9th best passing. Yet it was Chicago’s defense that was the most formidable, ranking 1st in points allowed. Everything seemed perfect. The Butchers made it to the playoffs but unfortunately the Yeti found their one weakness, exploited it, and Chicago lost in the first round. The Butchers took lost several key players this offseason and hopes their newly acquired players will make up the difference:
  • Lost:
  1. S Hamish MacAndrew
  2. CB Tyler Oles Jr (free agency)
  3. WR Sean O’Leary (free agency)
  4. Picked up:
  5. OL Mo "Mamba" Magic (free agent, 1088)
  • Call ups:
  1. RB Madison Hayes (503)
  2. CB HeHateMe PickSix II (488)
  3. WR Mike Hunt (421)
  4. S Evan Jones (533)
  5. OL James Gath (388)
The Butchers made some good moves this offseason to try to keep their team competitive. But the second death star will never be as good as the first. I still think they do well, finishing third in the NSFC and make the playoffs.
  
 
COLORADO YETI  COL
 
X-WING STARFIGHTER
[Image: x-wing-fighter_47c7c342.jpeg]
 
The X-wing. The quintessential Star Wars starfighter. The X-wing was designed for dogfighting, so it was armed with four laser cannons and a proton torpedo launcher. It is a great fighter who’s punch far exceeds its weight class. I mean the X-wing literally took down the Death Star. It’s probably the most balanced starfighter in Star Wars. For these reasons I chose the Yeti as this vehicle. They were a pretty balanced team, being a bit pass heavy as the 2nd best. Yet they still had a good rush attack (8th best) and a solid defense (10th best). Plus, you know, they took out the Death Star, or the Butchers, in the playoffs. That’s a pretty big accomplishment. But being one of the best all around teams doesn’t always win it for you, and they were defeated in the semi-finals. Colorado made quite a few changes this offseason:
  • Lost:
  1. OL Mo "Mamba" Magic (free agency)
  2. DT Big Edd (free agency)
  3. RB Anders Christiansen (free agency)
  • Pick ups:
  1. DE Xmus Flaxon Jaxon-Waxon (free agent, 817)
  2. OL Dorfus Jimbo Jr (free agent, 486)
  3. DT Magnus Rikiya (free agent, 1378)
  • Call ups:
  1. S Sparky Sparky Boom-man (516)
  2. RB Drip Dad (376)
From my perspective, the Yeti had a great offseason. They replaced key players that they lost with even better players for the most part. They definitely improved themselves. I think that Colorado will improve its position in the standing, finishing 2nd in the NSFC, and making the playoffs for sure. If you’re the empire watch out, these rebels are getting strong.
  
 
NEW ORLEANS SECONDLINE  NOLA
 
DARTH VADER’S TIE FIGHTER ADVANCED
[Image: tiex1-headon.jpg]
 
During the Battle of Yavin, Darth Vader can be seen piloting a distinctive prototype TIE fighter. While the vehicle was never put into production, Vader favored it as his personal fighter. The TIE advanced was faster than the original fighter and more durable, though a bit less maneuverable. For Vader, less mobility was not a problem as he was possibly the best pilot in the galaxy. I relate the Secondline to Vader's fighter for several reasons. One, they have the best QB, or pilot, in the league. Two like Vader in the Battle of Yavin the Secondline took out the Y-wings, err I mean Outlaws, in the playoffs. Three, they were a light, fast team, finishing last in rush attack but 1st in pass offense. New Orleans also had a decent defense ranking 7th. These factors combined with a bit of luck led to the Secondline making it the championship, but fell short of winning it. They were hit pretty hard this offseason:
  • Lost:
  1. OL Dorfus Jimbo Jr (free agency)
  2. DT Magnus Rikiya (free agency)
  3. CB David Rector (free agency)
  • Call ups:
  1. CB Buck Nekkid (387)
  2. LB Kevin Morrison (341)
  3. S Jonathan Shuffleboard (541)
The Secondline lost quite a few players this offseason and failed to make any moves to make up for it. They have some good call ups from the DSFL but I don’t think it will be enough to get them to the playoffs. I say they finish at best fourth in the ASFC, maybe worse.
  
 
SARASOTA SAILFISH  SAR
 
MILLENNIUM FALCON
[Image: millennium-falcon_018ea796_0.jpeg]
 
The Millennium Falcon: “The ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.” I still don’t know what that means but it's damn impressive. The Falcon is a freighter vessel, modified for smuggling. Its mods include upgrades for speed, firepower, and shields for durability. This thing can take a beating. After abandoning the Rebels before the Battle of Yavin, Han Solo shows up in the Falcon to save the day by taking Darth Vader out of the fight right before Luke destroys the Death Star. The Sailfish’s gameplay mimics the characteristics of the Millennium Falcon by not being the most agile (3rd worst passing attack) but making up for it in firepower (2nd best rush offense) and durability (3rd best defense). Plus they defeated the Secondline, represented by Vader’s TIE fighter, when it mattered most and won the championship. This offseason, the Sailfish made some interesting moves:
  • Lost:
  1. LB Haha Mango-Panda (free agency)
  2. WR Susan Cash Jr (trade)
  • Pickups:
  1. DE Mike Karpaasi (trade, 740)
  • Call ups:
  1. WR Joseph Radetzky (452)
  2. RB Giovanni  Bianchi (408)
  3. OL Stumpy Jones (333)
Looking at Sarasota’s offseason transactions, I think they broke even. They lost a WR in a trade but called one up from the DSFL while also receiving a DE from the trade. The other two call ups should eventually help their run game. The Sailfish should remain competitive this season and I think they will place first in the NSFC.




Phew, so that’s my comparison of teams to star wars vehicles. I know, that was a lot. I swear I intend to do a short shitposting article but then I get sucked in. I just can’t help it. I’m sure missed quite a bit but oh well. You get what you pay for. Okay, I think I’m done writing articles until my midseason player review.
 
 
words = 5,111

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - Pat - 03-29-2021

I freaking love media like this. I also can't complain about being a TIE Bomber, because at least those are cool ships (plus your assessment of the Liberty was pretty spot on)!

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - Starboy - 03-29-2021

Now this is where the fun begins

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - zaynzk - 03-29-2021

Does this make me Boba Fett?!?!?!?

Also Jay Kearse also retired for us and was replaced with FA Sandro Ryeu who is IA; but otherwise a solid analysis and I’m glad we got such a dope shop to represent us haha

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - Frostbite - 03-29-2021

Haha Mango-Panda is still on the team! He retired but we still get his corpse for one season.

And then Susan Cash we signed and traded in the same week so not sure if that counts as "losing" haha. Great article tho, this was fun to read. Happy to be the Falcon

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - Kotasa - 03-29-2021

GOATED media piece

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - shrub02 - 03-29-2021

Quote:zaynzk
Also Jay Kearse also retired for us and was replaced with FA Sandro Ryeu who is IA


I knew I was going to miss some lol. It was my first time really digging through that part of the forum ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Quote:Frostbite
And then Susan Cash we signed and traded in the same week so not sure if that counts as "losing" haha.


I completely missed that one! That's interesting

RE: Which Star Wars Vehicle is Your Team? - .simo - 03-30-2021

I fucken love this.