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+---- Thread: * A Discussion About Quarterbacks (/showthread.php?tid=3147)
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - Bzerkap - 08-09-2017
Ethan Hunt is the best quarterback in the NSFL. There I said it. Gospel truth. Deal with it.
What? You’re saying it’s more complicated than that? Fine, if you want to do this right let’s start it from the beginning then.
Here you go, Ethan Hunt is the best quarterback in the NSFL.
What? What’s the matter? I gave you all the quarterbacks sorted by Passer Rating. It’s the end all be all of QB stats, come on man everyone knows that. You're saying there’s more to it? Alright then, let’s dive in deep. The following is purely my opinion and it’s all based on stats and numbers so it’s infallible. Let’s get going.
![[Image: 2b22b489ab0a3c53ac4b922b3f2dcddd.png]](https://i.gyazo.com/2b22b489ab0a3c53ac4b922b3f2dcddd.png)
So I just threw a whole bunch of numbers at you. Impressive, right? Not really, they’re pretty pedestrian all the way around in terms how hard they are to get (Critical Sacks did actually take me a while, but we’ll get to that later), and what they prove in terms of QB play. Also, they don’t mean shit if you don’t know what they represent. Now I’m going to break this down real slow as if you were all babies. Let’s face it guys, you’re all babies, except @timeconsumer, he’s a big baby.
Player – This is the player’s name. Come on guys I know we’re babies, but that was a metaphor. You do know what a metaphor is right?
Team – This is the team the player plays for. Important as a frame of reference since you know, football is a team game. I’m looking at you @daBenchwarmer.
G – G stands for games played. G is just a symbol, keep up guys.
Comp – Total completions by the QB through the season. So far that’s week 5.
Att – Total attempts by the QB through the season. Again, that’s week 5.
Yards – Total yards thrown for by the QB, through the air. You can’t throw balls through the ground, that would be cheating, in more ways than one.
Pct – Completion Percentage. For all you math nerds that’s Comp/Att, tough stuff here. For all the non-math guys, I pulled this from Merriam Webster:
Quote:Definition of PERCENTAGE
1. 1a : a part of a whole expressed in hundredths a high percentage of students attended
b : the result obtained by multiplying a number by a percent the percentage equals the rate times the base
Oh, you know what percentage means? Sorry, I didn’t know, babies and all. Completion Percentage is how often the receiver holds on to the ball and doesn’t let his quarterback down. *hint* *hint* @AsylumParty
TD – The amount of touchdowns thrown by the QB through the season. As you can see, @Merica doesn’t have a lot of these. That’s ok, we’ll come back to that.
INT – The amount of interceptions thrown by the QB through the season. This is when you throw it to the bad guys, not the good guys. Once again, @[Meri……OH FUCK, guys the stats are through week 5. Totally forgot to mention that last time with touchdowns, but I think you’re smart enough to follow.
Sacks – This is the amount of times a quarterback was helped to reach his inner cow by an opposing player. @
Critical Sacks – I said we’d come back around to this didn’t I? Well, I’m a man of my word. Here we are. Yup. Alright.
Sack Yards – This is how far the QB was able to run away from the bad guys before they helped him assume the position. The position of a cow eating grass you animals. I added it all up because larger numbers for failure are more fun to look at.
Rating – This is passer rating. It is created by looking at four stats, giving them an arbitrary weighting, adding those boys up, dividing them and then multiplying them. Again, for the math nerds:
Oh before I start, in case you were wondering, we’re not using that college bullshit where there is no ceiling and your potential is as high as your drive and can do attitude. You can be anything you want to Timmy if you just try hard enough, even an astronaut. We're using NFL passer rating. Timmy has polio, he’ll never be an astronaut.
A = ((Comp/Att)-0.3) * 5
B = ((Yards/Att)-3) * 0.25
C = (TD/Att) * 20
D = 2.375 – ((INT/Att) * 25)
Passer Rating = ((A+B+C+D)/6) * 100
So there you have it. Not so bad right? Well, these are pretty simple stats, even for you lot. Now, if you’ll notice….
What? Critical Sacks? What the fuck are you talking about? Every sack is critical! It’s a detriment to your team! You go backward and lose a down! You....
Shit.
I never explained what critical sacks are, did I? Let’s just forget that ever happened.
Critical sacks are something I made up but I felt they deserved to be mentioned, so I did. I went through all of the games played in the regular season so far and found all the times a sack either produced a fumble, a safety, or occurred on 3rd or 4th down. Basically, all sacks are negative plays by definition, however not all sacks are created equal. Kind of like my balls, the right one hangs just a liiiiittle bit lower than the left. Don’t worry buddy, you’ll get there some day.
Some sacks are more impactful than others, and the ones I recorded as critical will 95% of the time…
We already went over percentages right? Ok, just checking.
...95% of the time turn into a turnover, whether that be via punt, turnover on downs, or actual turnover. These are also the moments that a quarterback needs to be the most aware of the rush, and be on a short clock to get rid of the ball if nothing develops.
You don’t want to be lollygagging in your own end zone pretending to be a cow, that’s just bad form. Also, the end zone is painted, and this is a budget league so it’s probably lead paint.
Now that we got that out of the way let’s move on to some actual rankings and analysis. As you can see from the chart I presented above, it’s all sorted by passer rating. Now, my rankings won’t be exactly the same, you see there are nuances to this type of work and….
Hey! Why are you laughing? This is serious business! Ah fuck it…..my rankings are the same. With what we have available it’s pretty good.
1. Ethan Hunt @daBenchwarmer
The realest n____ (censored for PC purposes) out here. Dude don’t give a fuck. He dares you to try and stop him. Seriously
though, he’s number 1 in passer rating by a huuuuuuuuuuge margin. Like almost as big as the dick he puts on the table during
interviews. Let’s list the things he ranks #1 in:
Completion Percentage
Touchdowns
Well shit that’s it but he’s really high (#420) in everything else I swear. He’s tied for second in fewest interceptions thrown, tied
for 3rd in sacks taken, 2nd in critical sacks, 4th in sack yardage, 4th in completions while last in attempts, and 5th in yards.
Now that’s pretty impressive, he doesn’t throw a lot but when he does, he is on. He completes the passes he throws and when
he completes those they go for touchdowns, not picks. He doesn’t take too many sacks, and even for the amount of sacks he has taken it is a very low amount of critical sacks. Clearly the top QB right now.
2. Chris Orosz @Aenir
This dude is cold as ice. He sits in the pocket and throws for more touchdowns than picks. Which is saying quite a bit in this league actually. Let’s break him down. He’s 3rd in yardage, while being 7th in attempts, very very impressive efficiency. Orosz is letting the boys know he’s going deep and you might feel his nutsack on the way down. He’s also 4th in completions which ranks him 2nd in completion percentage. Now, he’s only 5th in sacks but 3rd in critical sacks and sack yardage, so he takes a few but doesn’t let them happen in pressure situations or go very far back. He’s 3rd in touchdowns and 5th in interceptions, kind of throwing a good amount of both. He’s no Ethan Hunt, but hey it’s the NSFL, and in the NSFL that’s doing pretty well.
3. Scrub Kyubee @DollarAndADream
He’s 3rd in attempts, 5th in completions, 6th in completion percentage, and 4th in yards. What the hell? This doesn’t sound like the 3rd best QB, this just sounds average. Well, sorry to say it folks but it gets a little average from here on out, not much separates the next few guys. What puts Scrub up so high is his decent number of touchdowns, five tied for 4th, and low number of picks, 4 tied for 2nd. Pretty good, serviceable QB. Now, sacks don’t factor into passer rating but they do factor into my rankings, and it’s here where Kyubee and his offense shine. He is by far the least sacked quarterback with nine sacks, least amount of critical sacks with one, and least amount of sack yardage at 63. So, he’s pretty serviceable but doesn’t create a lot of negative plays. Good for 3rd.
4. King Bronko @ADwyer87
Now the king here is 2nd in attempts and completions, they like to chuck it in Arizona. However, like Chad Henne, the king has a noodle arm, he’s 6th in yardage. He’s throwing nerf balls out there guys. However, he is a respectable 4th in completion percentage, not bad. So why the hell is Bronko 4th?? I’ll tell you why, the boy throws touchdowns, seven of them to be exact and that puts him 2nd right there. He’s also tied for 4th in interceptions so not bad. So, then Bronko should be third right? Clearly he’s a man who knows how to win a game, score more than the other guy, he’s not worried about measly yardage stats. Well yea but, he gets sacked a little more than Scrub, as he’s tied for 4th, the same ranking as his critical sacks, and he’s 5th in sack yardage. Lots of 4’s in that little write up. Seems to me like four is about right for him.
5. Mike Boss @JBLAZE_THE_BOSS
Now here is a man who likes to throw it and throw it with authority. The butt chinned Otter from up north. He’s 1st in attempts, completions, and yards, and 3rd in completion percentage. WTF Boss #1! Boss #1! HOLD UP!
Everyone knows when Boss hits the sauce his vision gets blurry and he doesn’t exactly throw it right. And like Metta World Peace, he’s got some Hennessey in his locker. What are you talking about? Boss is tied for 4th in touchdowns! Yea but he’s also 7th in interceptions, with nine of those bad boys. Boss please stop hitting the sauce, I don’t think I need to say anymore……
6. Jameis Christ @Perkules
Is this guy home? Does he train? Haven’t seen him around for a while. Must be relying on raw talent. Well, let this be a message to all you kids out there, no…No….NO! Stop looking at Ethan Hunt! Yea I know he doesn’t train, but…..fuck it.
Christ is 6th for a reason, he’s 7th in completions while being 4th in attempts, all adding up to an abysmal 47.73% completion percentage, which lands him at 7th in that ranking. He also doesn’t get a lot of yards, coming in at 7th there too. So what does he do well? Well, he definitely gets sacked a lot, 27 total with eight critical and 169 sack yards, ranking at 7th, 7th, and 8th respectively. Oh what does he do well?? Sorry bout that. He’s tied for 4th in touchdowns with five and 2nd in interceptions thrown with two. Good enough to get him 6th.
7. Logan Noble @
The man, the myth, the legend. Some say he never sleeps. Some say they never see him leave the training facility. He’s still there at midnight, and he’s there when the coach arrives at 5am. No one works harder than him in the gym, that’s for sure. But, there’s a little something where you overwork and don’t give yourself time to rest. Come gameday you just don’t play as well. Noble has a bad case of camp arm. 6th in completions, tied for 5th in attempts, 2nd in yards, 5th in completions, and tied for 4th in TDs. So where are the bad stats? Clearly this is better than 7th best QB? Well, I think Noble and Boss are drinking buddies, because he’s thrown the 3rd most picks in the league with eight, one shy of Boss. He’s also been sacked 28 times which is last, he has 10 critical sacks, also last, and 202 sack yards, once again, last. He’s decent in the good categories but pretty bad in the bad ones. All in all, it would take a pretty terrible season to beat this out. Well, I’ve got just the thing.
8. Josh Bercovici @Merica
The man sponsored by Trump himself. Some call him fuzzy tangerine, I just call him Berc. Unfortunately, Berc has had a terrible year. Quite terrible. He’s last in completions, and tied for 5th in attempts, producing a league worst 42.53% completion percentage. He’s also last in yards, so he doesn’t throw it far either. He’s last in touchdowns with three and last in interceptions with 10. He’s 6th in sacks with 25, 6th in critical sacks with seven, and 7th in sack yardage with 170. Just not a great season for him. Not much more to say.
Well, there you have it boys and girls. The rankings of the QBs as it stands right now. It will probably change as it’s only week 5 and I plan on writing another one at the end of the season. I will also be writing some statistical analysis articles on QB efficiency metrics and some of my own made up metrics. Then we’ll see how that affects the rankings. I’ve listed the rankings in all categories below for your viewing pleasure.
Completions
1. Boss, M.-------115
2. Bronko, K.-----104
3. Orosz, C.-------100
4. Hunt, E.--------99
5. Kyubee, S.-----97
6. Noble, L.-------96
7. Christ, J.-------84
8. Bercovici, J.----74
Attempts
Boss, M.-------191
Bronko, K.-----186
Kyubee, S.-----178
Christ, J.-------176
Noble, L.-------174
Bercovici, J.----174
Orosz, C.-------166
Hunt, E.--------149
Yards
Boss, M.------1292
Noble, L.-----1113
Orosz, C.-----1091
Kyubee, S.---1070
Hunt, E.------1054
Bronko, K.----945
Christ, J.------938
Bercovici, J.---810
Pct
Hunt, E.-----66.44%
Orosz, C.----60.24%
Boss, M.-----60.21%
Bronko, K.---55.91%
Noble, L.-----55.17%
Kyubee, S.---54.49%
Christ, J.-----47.73%
Bercovici, J.--42.53%
TDs
Hunt, E.-----8
Bronko, K.---7
Orosz, C.----6
Boss, M.-----5
Noble, L.-----5
Kyubee, S.---5
Christ, J.-----5
Bercovici, J.--3
INTs
Christ, J.-----2
Hunt, E.------4
Kyubee, S.---4
Bronko, K.----5
Orosz, C.-----5
Noble, L.-----8
Boss, M.------9
Bercovici, J.--10
Sacks
Kyubee, S. ---9
Boss, M.------14
Hunt, E.------16
Bronko, K.----16
Orosz, C.------17
Bercovici, J.---25
Christ, J.------27
Noble, L.------28
Crit. Sacks
Kyubee, S.---1
Hunt, E.------2
Orosz, C.-----3
Bronko, K.----5
Boss, M.------6
Bercovici, J.--7
Christ, J.-----8
Noble, L.-----10
Sack Yards
Kyubee, S.----63
Boss, M.------94
Orosz, C.-----104
Hunt, E.------115
Bronko, K.----118
Christ, J.------169
Bercovici, J.---170
Noble, L.------202
Passer Rating
Hunt, E.------93.64
Orosz, C.-----79.17
Kyubee, S.----72.54
Bronko, K.----71.19
Boss, M.------69.54
Christ, J.------68.80
Noble, L.------65.13
Bercovici, J.---38.72
Code:
Word is telling me 2643 words but I'm not really sure* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - DeathOnReddit - 08-09-2017
thats nice and all but hunt sucks and so does the rest of the league. Dont @ me
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - AsylumParty - 08-09-2017
(08-09-2017, 01:02 AM)Bzerkap Wrote:Oh, you know what percentage means? Sorry, I didn’t know, babies and all. Completion Percentage is how often the receiver holds on to the ball and doesn’t let his quarterback down. hint hint AsylumParty
STILL CAUGHT THAT W THOUGH
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - Bzerkap - 08-09-2017
(08-08-2017, 11:08 PM)DeathOnReddit Wrote:thats nice and all but hunt sucks and so does the rest of the league. Dont @ meDamn! So much shade!
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - Bzerkap - 08-09-2017
(08-08-2017, 11:11 PM)AsylumParty Wrote:STILL CAUGHT THAT W THOUGHTrue. Work on them hands though!
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - ADwyer87 - 08-09-2017
dude lecturing people on dropping passes in the same game where he let up a sack? Odd
Also can we really trust this guys analysis? He acting like an expert but he still aint figured out what a playoff win look like :ph34r:
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - Bzerkap - 08-09-2017
(08-08-2017, 11:20 PM)ADwyer87 Wrote:dude lecturing people on dropping passes in the same game where he let up a sack? OddYou will rue these words. We're coming for ya in the Ultimus!
Also can we really trust this guys analysis? He acting like an expert but he still aint figured out what a playoff win look like :ph34r:
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - ADwyer87 - 08-09-2017
(08-08-2017, 11:22 PM)Bzerkap Wrote:You will rue these words. We're coming for ya in the Ultimus!We'll be waiting B)
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - DeathOnReddit - 08-09-2017
(08-09-2017, 12:22 AM)Bzerkap Wrote:You will rue these words. We're coming for ya in the Ultimus!
How you coming for us in the utimus if youre gonna choke in the playoffs?
* A Discussion About Quarterbacks - Bzerkap - 08-09-2017
(08-08-2017, 11:27 PM)DeathOnReddit Wrote:How you coming for us in the utimus if youre gonna choke in the playoffs?What do you do on D? I keep forgetting cuz I hardly see you