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*Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - Printable Version

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*Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - infinitempg - 05-07-2021

hi, busch goose's agent here. didn't realize he was going to post this morning, and i didn't have the translation ready quite yet! seems like it's caused a bit of a stir, so sorry for all the confusion.

anyways, here you go!


my time as a free agent this offseason has been one full of excitement, intrigue, and many promises that i am sure teams cannot keep. what i am writing down here is a brief tell all into my first experience as a free agent and the interesting things i learned.

i was contacted by a total of seven teams - arizona, berlin, chicago, colorado, honolulu, yellowknife, and of course baltimore. all of these teams were made aware of my demands - a good locker room, a chance for good stats, and a chance for rings. not all of these teams could offer all of these, and they were quite upfront with me about it which i appreciated.

the outlaws were probably the easiest team to reject, as their general manager mentioned to me that i would likely have to sit behind star runningback tatsu nakamura for a few years before having a premier role in the backfield. i appreciated the offer but that was not going to work for me.

berlin, chicago, colorado, and honolulu all offered me to be part of a running back by committee as the secondary option, while yellowknife offered for me to be the lead back in a committee. these were enticing offers to me - i know that i am less experienced at this level of the game and need more time to develop, and being able to work with other running backs to better my game is always good. i am, however, willing to bet on myself and say that i am good enough to be the workhorse back for a team. baltimore seems to be able to fulfill this goal for me.

of the teams that contacted me, arizona, berlin, and yellowknife present the best possible opportunity for me to win an ultimus as soon as possible. chicago, colorado, and honolulu seem to have slid a bit this year but still do seem to have bright futures ahead of them. finally, baltimore is by far in the worst spot to be competing for titles at the moment - though they have a plethora of young talent that look to be a strong force in the near future.

perhaps most important though is the locker room environment. all of these teams have good locker rooms, and all but baltimore allow me to escape the wrath of the stinky luke quick. or so i thought. it turns out luke quick and his friends are everywhere! yellowknife was most notable - while they sent me a fire presentation full of excellent memes and convincing arguments, luke quick's good friend nate swift has permanent access to the locker room.

chicago, berlin, and yellowknife were all willing to provide me with plenty of breadcrumbs to eat, which i deeply appreciated. many teams offered extra contract provisions (the wraiths offered to make me Canada's Goose and the butchers offered a whole channel for honks), but the most interesting came from the yeti. as some of you may know, i am good friends with former owner micycle mccormick. micycle recently had to recognize yellow as an official color of the team, something he is very unhappy about. if i were to sign with colorado however, they would allow micycle to continue his unrecognition of yellow as a team color. in what may be an act of desperation, they even offered to entirely give up the campaign to make yellow (and blue) official team colors, going so far as to draft a memo to be delivered to the team.

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as much as i am sure micycle would appreciate this, i don't know if i can take this away from the yeti faithful. it definitely interested me though!

the biggest revelation to me was how willing teams were to call luke quick stinky. in order to protect their identities, i will be leaving all comments anonymous (though i am sure you can figure some of them out quickly), but here's a brief selection:

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while luke quick is indeed very stinky, and he is mean for not giving me enough breadcrumbs, he has actually been an excellent teammate and wide receiver for the hawks. while our rivalry may never end, i honestly have to respect his play. all i ask for are my contractually obligated breadcrumbs from him. in fact,the entire baltimore locker room has been great. for a team that looked to go winless once again, there was a large amount of heart and pride being shown. and that was proven towards the tail end of the season, where we not only avoided breaking the winless streak record but also upset a very good sarasota team in the last game of the year!

baltimore's general managers took a chance on me and let me have ample amounts of playing time this season, and i feel my contributions were instrumental in winning our two games this season. and so, while they may have the least chance of getting a ring in the near future, and i would have to put up with stinky luke quick all the time - the chance for ample stats in the upcoming season plus the heart and loyalty of the locker room means that i have decided to RE-SIGN WITH BALTIMORE for Season 29.

[Image: pipe-1568931609207_20210503173452776_202...403177.jpg]

it will be a strictly 1 year contract, and if things do not go well this upcoming season i will be more than willing to enter free agency once again with the intent to find a team that can help me achieve my career goals. to all the teams that reached out to me, thank you for your time and i assure you, i will be open to your recruitment again in the future.


for the record, frick and hall were in on this. im not that heartless lol

hi graders, pay this one not the one with the honks lol

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - excelsior - 05-07-2021

honk honk!  Heart Big Grin honk honk honk honk honk!!

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - zaynzk - 05-07-2021

Shock

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - Sylphreni - 05-07-2021

We can still be outraged though, right?

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - Frick_Nasty - 05-07-2021

(05-07-2021, 01:01 PM)Sylphreni Wrote: We can still be outraged though, right?

Of course

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - SwankyPants31 - 05-07-2021

I never cared for Goose

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - Hallmonitor_20 - 05-07-2021

HONK HONK HONK ❤

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - Jo3fish5 - 05-07-2021

But my slideshow

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - zaynzk - 05-07-2021

Infinite goes to Baltimore?

WOW I COULD NEVER HAVE SEEN THAT COMING.


Come on kids, don’t be shocked. The only shocker is some other team wasted their FA pitches on him.

I’m sorry some good people trying to rebuild their tattered franchises got fucked here. Just rude.

RE: Well this is awkward: Busch Goose's Decision TRANSLATED - Jo3fish5 - 05-07-2021

Infinite goes to Colorado?

WOW I COULD NEVER HAVE SEEN THAT COMING.


Come on kids, don’t be shocked. The only shocker is some other team wasted their pick on him.

I’m sorry some good people trying to rebuild a tattered franchise got fucked here. Just rude.