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+---- Thread: *(S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings (/showthread.php?tid=32220)
*(S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - Yeenoghu - 05-15-2021
I was just looking at the pitiful state of our DSFL rosters after those awful ISFL teams called so many players up and started to form some ideas about which teams would perform well this year, so I thought I’d capitalize on the recent media bonus and provide some DSFL power rankings for the upcoming season.
Obviously the draft hasn’t aired yet, so many of the holes on these teams will be filled by new players, but it’s easiest for us to assume that all teams draft approximately equally and no one changes their position in the power rankings just from the draft alone. Is that actually true? Who knows.
As a second point, I’ll just note that this is also subject to change due to a variety of factors--late changes to the call up lists or mid-season call-ups, a player coming back to activity and filling in a gap on a team, etc. It’s pretty difficult to predict that kind event, so I’ve just used the dictionary definitions of ‘inactive’ and excluded any players from their team’s roster if they didn’t make a post on the forum since 14 days prior to the last Ultimini (#BangBang). Without further ado, let’s look at our teams for Season 29!
#8 - Bondi Beach Buccaneers
Call-Ups - RB Brandon Prince (
), TE Chevvy Bronko (
), DE Mongo (), LB Tre’ Mendus Johnson (
)Newly Ineligible Players - QB Josh Allen, RB Akil Ozymandias, RB Big Chungus, WR Bismo Funyuns, TE Beau Novak, CB Cayson Nzeocha, CB Guy Gibson, K/P Cameron Johnston
Unfortunately the number eight spot on the power rankings belongs to the Bondi Beach Buccaneers, who will enter the DSFL draft with five active players on their roster. Their lone (and I do mean lone) bright spot on offense is returning QB Dexter Zaylren, who is likely at the halfway point of his DSFL career. Zaylren completed passes to five different players (and three bots), and not a single one of them will be returning to Bondi Beach this season.
On the defensive side of the ball the Buccaneers’ biggest strength are their two returning members of the secondary, CB Henny Tingzpachbol and S Chathack’rius Smith IV. These two players alone allow Bondi Beach to lay claim as the best secondary in the South.
Unfortunately, a stellar secondary will not be enough to save Bondi Beach from a subpar season, as teams will be content to run the ball into their decimated front seven. For the Buccaneers to have a chance at a playoff run, we’ll have to see laser precision from their star QB as well as a commanding presence from their returning DT Amadeus Redding to force teams to throw the ball and generate turnovers. Fortunately the team is playing in what appears to be the weaker conference this upcoming season, so there is certainly a chance for them to sneak into the playoffs.
Expected Record: 5-9
#7 - Norfolk Seawolves
Call-Ups - RB Jay Cue Jr. (
), RB Dante King (), K/P Freddy Bly (
)Newly Ineligible Players - TE Jeff Gray, OL Yetiman Beardstien, DE JR Reigns, LB Benjamin Ankers
The good news here for Norfolk is that they are largely unhurt by players losing ineligibility--among the four players mentioned, the only big loss is from the retirement of Benjamin Ankers (173 TPE). The others listed will only set the Seawolves back by 11 total TPE. The bad news is that the call-ups, while not numerous, are a death knell for the Norfolk offense.
The offense is essentially the sum of the two teams mentioned so far, returning a capped QB in Raeni Clarke and a couple of supporting pieces in OL Rudy Gray and TE Zack DiNozzo. Of course, these players alone can’t replace the 1,600 rushing yards that the duo of Cue Jr. and King mustered last season. The offense might get off to a slow start but with the right draft picks, I can see them finding their groove as the season moves along.
On defense, the team returns capped players at LB (DeAndre Chuggs) and S (Kelvin Harris) along with some lower TPE players in DE Malik F. Doom and CB Hououin Kyouma. The defense isn’t “bad”--there just aren’t enough players to address all of the opposing threats.
I see a lot of similarities between the Royals and the Seawolves rosters, but Norfolk will be the more likely of the two to secure a playoff berth as it’s believable that they could make a run with a lucky sweep of Dallas, the next team on our list from the South. Of course, they also return a capped quarterback that can pull wins out of nowhere. It will be tough sledding for Norfolk, but anything is possible.
Expected Record: 6-8
#6 - London Royals
Call-Ups - QB Red Arrow Jr. (
), RB Manhattan Project (
), RB Taipan Pete (
), DE Glenn Smart (
), DT Fergus Callaghan Jr. (), CB C.J. Sonjack (), CB Willie Miller ()Newly Ineligible Players - RB Noel Akerele, WR Schumi Hulkenvettel
Here we see the ebb and flow of the DSFL cycle in full force -- the Royals are fresh off an Ultimini win, so naturally they join Dallas Birddogs in having the most call-ups of any team this season (7) and will likely return to the bottom of the standings. The one thing that the Royals do have working in their favor is that five of their six returning players have reached the DSFL cap, with the sixth player not far behind at 226 TPE.
The Royals are perhaps situated even worse on offense than Bondi Beach. London would be ranked in the middle tier if teams if not for one specific call-up--their veteran QB Red Arrow will be playing in the ISFL this season, so the Royals will be starting from scratch at the most important position on the football field. However, they do return two starters in TE Buffalo Hunter and reigning Offensive Rookie of the Year OL Keane Lover.
On the defensive side of the ball, the Royals return three capped players--DE Lucid Dreams, DT Will “Brick Wall” Smyth, and LB Sam Squanch, all members of the previous rookie class. As dominant as these players are, there are still eight holes to fill on the depth chart, more than any other team in the DSFL. I’d look for the London defense to be a bit better than Bondi Beach or Norfolk, but it will be hard to compete with other teams returning 5-6 players.
The biggest advantage that the Royals have is likely on special teams. They return a capped kicker in Rainbow Dash, a feat only matched by the Tijuana Luchadores. This will be critical to London’s success this season, as they will no doubt be embroiled in many “ugly” games where turnovers and field position play a prominent role. Look for them to play conservative offense and maximize their chances for turnovers on defense for Dash to nail long field goals or pin the opponent deep in their own red zone.
Expected Record: 7-7
#5 - Dallas Birddogs -
Call-Ups - QB Joliet Christ Jr. (
), RB Sirdsvaldis Miglasķēms (), WR Bayley Cowabunga (
), DE Pope Francis (), DT Primo Berto (), S Cole Maxwell (), K/P Dallas Dole (
)Newly Ineligible Players - WR AJ Tirrell, LB Zaaron Pryor, CB Charity Beaver
As I mentioned previously, Dallas was tied with London for the most call-ups this season with seven. This will take a bit of the wind out of their sails, but they were surely aware that most of these were coming as Miglasķēms, Francis, and Berto were in their final DSFL season and Chika Fujiwara’s retirement meant that Christ Jr. would be the next man up in Honolulu.
Dallas is quite a unique position on offense--they are the only player in the South to return either a RB (Erik Gaare) or a WR (Ivan Toastovich), yet the absence of a QB to deliver the ball to either of them through the air dampens their effectiveness. These two pieces plus their stellar TE Joey Marston will ensure that the new QB in Dallas will be in a position to succeed from Day 1.
On defense, they don’t stand out anywhere in particular, but they are definitely solid throughout. DT Beefcake Johnson and LB Luke Watterson will be close to the DSFL cap as the season starts, and they have other contributors at each level of the defense to prevent me from saying that any specific positional group is a big weakness.
Expected Record: 7-7
#4 - Portland Pythons
Call-Ups - QB LeBron James III (
), RB Remus Roman (), WR Saleem Spence (), LB Xavier Walls (), CB Lip Gallagher (), K/P Cade York ()Newly Ineligible Players - WR Quavious McGrady, WR Aleksandr Vasiliev, TE Phillip Weaver, TE Stanley Yelnats, OL Tay Heenie, DE Gritt Gurdur, LB Erin Kirkland, S Moe Skeeter
In many ways, it feels like Portland’s “window” closed after last season, if such a thing can even be possible in the DSFL. Six call-ups and a whole slew of players that are either too old for the DSFL or are no longer active will bring Portland’s TPE numbers back to Earth, but they will still be in the running for a playoff spot on the final week of the season.
Though they lost two-time DSFL MVP Lebron James III to the Sailfish, Portland was prudent enough to train up his replacement, Panda McKyle, in the meantime. Sadly, like many other teams in the DSFL, McKyle will not inherit any weapons on offense and is joined only by RB Noah Johns.
Offense will not be Portland’s strong suit this season, but their defense is still top-notch. Two starters on the defensive line (DE Logan Anderson and DT Carter Fox) are capped, as well as CB Lip Gallagher, and the opposite side CB Suggs Upshar is not far behind. When you add in a couple of solid LB in Elliot Hord and Teddy Murphy, it’s going to be very difficult to decide how you want to move the ball against this Pythons team. I think we will similar styles of play from teams like Portland, London, Bondi Beach, and Norfolk--when the offense isn’t there, play the field position game and rely on your defense to get the ball back for you.
Expected Record - 7-7
#3 - Kansas City Coyotes
Call-Ups - WR Quinton Crash (
), WR Eleven Kendrick-Watts ()Newly Ineligible Players - TE Owmy Back, CB Logan Steele, S Tre Washington, S Hunter Phelan
Kansas City returns the second highest number of active players in this season with 10, as they were mostly spared from the wrath of ISFL call-ups. Maxed QBs Troy Abed and Gimmy Jaroppolo Jr. will split snaps at QB, and while they won’t have any receivers on the roster due to the departures of Crash and Kendrick-Watts, they will lay claim to the best running back support in the DSFL thanks to the one-two punch of L’OrdreSombre and Cuddles. Definitely a good position to be in for a team that’s expected to be a playoff contender.
The defense for the Coyotes is also quite stout. Three capped players at each level (DT Prof. Godfrey Gravity, LB Dexter Hall, and CB Siege Cameron) are a well-rounded group, and they are joined by two quality defensive ends in Amabacus Fitted and Will Stern that will give Kansas City a defensive line that rivals that of the Grey Ducks for the number one spot.
Expected Record - 7-7
#2 - Tijuana Luchadores
Call-Ups - RB Lonnie Jackson (
), OL Maiteers Rico-Shea (), OL Cade Williams (), S Lux Opal (), S Romulus Roman ()Newly Ineligible Players - WR Rocky Baljoa, LB Devonte Crook
Tijuana will probably blanch at being placed at #2 after a season where they just barely missed out on an Ultimini title, but I feel that it’s certainly a fitting position for them. Although they lost some high quality players that will definitely impact their production on both offense and defense, they still retain several high-earning players that will see them through to the South championship.
The ReallyInvisible - Muerto connection will be seen quite a bit this season, as the tight end is really the only weapon for Tijuana. However, both players are capped, so Muerto should have no problem racking in the yards for the Luchadores.
Returning only DE Gyles Marrett, the defensive line will have to be filled out during the draft or via bots, but it is the only weak point of this Tijuana defense. They have the best LB corps in the DSFL with capped LB Marcus Jones and his counterpart In Active, and similarly the secondary boasts reigning Defensive Rookie of the Year Sir Peter Jackson and the complementary Rean Schwarzer. Add in one of the two maxed DSFL K/P in Jean-Jacques Leroy, and you have a very balanced team with few weaknesses.
Expected Record - 8-6
#1 - Minnesota Grey Ducks
Call-Ups - CB Anton Bruckner (
), K/P Gluteus Maximus ()Newly Ineligible Players - RB Tom Adamo, WR Caitlyn Catowize, TE Jack Sparrow, DE Mills Wallace, LB Brooks Bane, CB Kacper Puntky, S “Captain” John Price
Simply put, the Grey Ducks have no excuses for not winning the Ultimini this season. They return 13 active players from last year’s team and should start the season with over 25% more effective TPE than the Luchadores (and over twice as much effective TPE as the Buccaneers).
On offense, Minnesota returns two capped QBs in Jacob Raske and Kazimir Oles Jr. They are one of two teams to return two active RBs (John Huntsman and Lawrence McCoy), though the duo is a bit weaker than the Kansas City stable. Minnesota will also return two WRs, Janis Lux and Joe Bay, while the rest of the entire league only has one active WR (Dallas’ Ivan Toastovich). And finally, they will roster a capped TE in Bobby Tarantino, because why not? This offense will be the best one in the DSFL, and it shouldn’t be particularly close. If there weren’t two QBs splitting snaps, I’d be quick to crown one of them as my preseason favorite for MVP. So instead, that honor will have to go to their lead back, John Huntsman.
Honestly, the defense is also probably the best one in the league, but an argument could also be made for Portland. Minnesota will be the only team to return five capped starters on the defensive side of the ball--DT Daniel O’Leary, DT ILove HotSalads, LB David Frank, CB Amy Wong, and S Tim Soulja. I suppose the only knock you can say for the defense is that they’d probably rather have more of their capped players in the secondary since other teams will most likely be passing against them regularly, but this is the definition of a first world problem.
Expected Record - 9-5
To wrap up, I’ll briefly throw out some speculative awards. These will probably be completely wrong considering there are no rookies listed, but it will be fun to look back and see if I got any of them correct.
MVP - John Huntsman, RB
Offensive Player of the Year - Rejoignez L’OrdreSombre, RB
Defensive Player of the Year - David Frank, LB
Quarterback of the Year - Raeni Clarke
Running Back of the Year - Erik Gaare
Wide Receiver of the Year - Ivan Toastovich
Tight End of the Year - Gronku Muerto
Offensive Lineman of the Year - Keane Lover
Defensive End of the Year - Lucid Dreams
Defensive Tackle of the Year - Carter Fox
Linebacker of the Year - Marcus Jones
Cornerback of the Year - Sir Peter Jackson
Safety of the Year - Tim Soulja, Minnesota Grey Ducks
Kicker of the Year - Jean-Jacques Leroy
Punter of the Year - Rainbow Dash
Returner of the Year - Henny Tingzpachbol
Good luck to all of the DSFL teams this season, and please prove me wrong if I've ranked you too low for your liking!
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - IceBear32 - 05-15-2021
I approve this message. Nice article.
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - Crodyman - 05-15-2021
Winnisota?
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - zaynzk - 05-15-2021
This is dope exited to see how the year shapes out since the dsfl is so wild
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - siddhus - 05-15-2021
Nice to see some DSFL articles
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - slate - 05-15-2021
I appreciate that all the teams are between 5 and 9 wins. True peak DSFL.
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - UberBJ - 05-15-2021
![[Image: tenor.gif]](https://media.tenor.com/images/b5c479cc79d4e442660c1601471ddfb4/tenor.gif)
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - Yeenoghu - 05-16-2021
(05-15-2021, 11:12 PM)slate Wrote: I appreciate that all the teams are between 5 and 9 wins. True peak DSFL.It's funny, right? Most archetypes have a base TPE build of 350 - 400 TPE, so even a team of fully maxed out DSFL players would only ever be 40% - 50% stronger than a team made up entirely of filler bots (assuming quality scales linearly). Obviously teams buck the trend and go on insane losing or winning streaks, but it would be quite a feat to be "expected" to be extremely good or bad.
RE: (S29) DSFL Preseason Power Rankings - Z-Whiz - 05-17-2021
Former GM slams new management