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+---- Thread: *The absolute worst space jam lineup (/showthread.php?tid=36398)
*The absolute worst space jam lineup - teddyoojo - 12-04-2021
3. Space Jam - I love this topic (see: PBE). Aliens come to earth and challenge the ISFL to a football game to decide the fate of the world. Create a team of Offense and Defense from ANYONE in the ISFL and why you'd use them to defeat the Monstars.
So for this im just gonna start out saying that this will be a mix of mostly ISFL players, and a few DSFL players because its unfair to exclude the poor DSFL players in this cmon now.
QB - So this choice might already be a bit controversial. Im going with IsHe... ReallyInvisible here, mostly due to the fact that hes a scrambling QB. I feel like the fact that hes not some pansy ass sit in the pocket yeet the ball downfield clown like all the others will come in really handy vs the aliens, because fuck knows what in the hell theyre gonna be throwing at us. Also who wouldnt want a QB that is similar to the last RB to win NFL MVP, Lamar Jackson, to be their worlds representing Quarterback.
RB - Theo AwardsSystemIsBad, partly due to the reason that the awards system is bad, partly due to his looks. I mean have you guys seen this absolute BEAST of a player? The aliens are bound to tremble in absolute fear, its questionable theyll even show up given that big theo could be showing up in their locker room any second and make them feel quite inadequate. Completely impossible to not choose this bad bad man to represent earth in the match of the century.
RB2 - Ken Oath. While big man Theo will be the lead running back in this offense, Kenny O is here mainly for his pass catching abilities. While im planning to add 4 wide receivers to this team, Oath will be seeing alot of snaps lined up on the outside aswell. While i admit many other players are quite a bit better at what Oath brings on the field, its the off the field attitude and player chemistry that lead me to choosing kenneth O for this all star team.
WR1 - Tony Demonson. So this is where things get interesting. You might ask, why choose this guy? hes low TPE, small hands and tiny feet. This is where your wrong. Demonson is the complete teamplayer. Hes every coaches wet dream. Here we have the most selfless guy that has ever touched a ball in the ISFL/DSFL Demonson and Oath are an absolute Stud Duo, dating back to Highschool ( where, according to rumours, they have actually been on and off dating for a while). If any of you played Madden21 Face of the Franchise, the story of that is loosely based upon Demonson and Oath. Demonson wont really see any touches on the Field despite being WR1, hes selflessly giving up those targets to our RB2, Ken Oath. Tony D. is mainly here for Run Blocking for Ken and his off field supportive antics.
WR2 - Lane Frost. He might not be the best player. He might not be the most stable person on the field. But by god can he kick a helmet. Theres quite a big possibility that were gonna have to be playing dirty against the aliens. This is where Frost comes in. If you have ever seen him kick a helmet, you know this boy is the real goddamn deal. He has hurt himself so many times we have lost count kicking Helmets, its honestly impressive. When push comes to shove in the match against the aliens, were going to rely on Lane Frosts Helmet kicking abilities to take out key alien players. Some may say this is too dirty for earth to do, I say were only using the talents of our players the correct way. And boy what a talent that man has.
WR3 - Tugg Speedman. So this is where we might actually need someone to also catch a ball, despite having a scrambling QB who looks like he should be a RB instead i doubt he can even throw the ball im getting off track lets get back to Speedman. This one should actually be pretty obvious, hes by far the highest TPE receiver in the league and therefore is the best player. We all know this to be true. Hes also leading the league by more than 200 yards more than the next best receiver in receiving yards so here we go.
WR4 - Sean Snyder. This boy is by far and beyond the least productive Wide Receiver in the entire league, I mean cmon theres even a Bot Tackle that has more receiving yards than this fellow. You might ask why i chose someone like this for earths last stand in the great all star game? Well, the aliens are going to be asking the same thing. When they see Snyder out on the field with all his years of experience and his ability to not catch balls, theyre gonna be constantly worrying about why hes even on the field. "are they gonna run a trick play? better play 6 deep safeties" BOOM we run through the middle for 3 yards. "hes not gonna catch a ball lets not even cover him" BOOM we throw him the ball wide open. he drops it but oh well what can you do.
Its the unbelievable unpredictability and the yin yang double punch of polar opposites he creates with speedman that will be unstoppable.
TE1 - Lenard Graf. Being the lowest TPE Tight end in the ISFL he certainly must have some attribute that makes him able to compete in the big leagues. What they are? I dont know. But im sure theres something. Being an Ex teammate with Demonson and Oath hes for sure got some of their team spirit aswell. Or not. I mean I dont know, there just gotta be something. We will figure it out during the game or something. Or maybe during practice. Do we get to practice as a team before the game? What are the rules of this i feel like i have not been properly informed as the coach of this endevour i need more details.
TE2 - We are going with Mario Messi on this one. I mean you gotta also need someone who catches balls and blocks nerds and hes doing it the best in the entire league so hes making the team. While he may probably not have the IT factor that Graf probably hopefully maybe has, he has the actual ability to be a good tight end, and thats also gotta count for something when judging a tight end right? i mean i guess so am i even really qualified for this, tune in next week for another episo..
OL1 - lmao OL who care
OL2 - lmao OL who care
OL3 - lmao OL who care
OL4 - lmao OL who care
OL5 - lmao OL who care
DE1 - Leonard Taylor. I mean hes basically made his character to be like Lawrence Taylor, how can you say no to this. If i could i would play the 62 year old lawrence taylor himself in all D line and line backer positions at the same time. But i cannot so leonard taylor will be the closest i can get to playing LT himself. Hes also pretty good or something but that doesnt really matter to me.
DE2 - Son Goku. I think this is pretty goddamn self explanatory. If earth is in danger, who do you trust the most out of anyone ever? Of course, the answer is Son goku. Piccolo is threatening to destroy the earth? The answer is Son Goku. Whos the first ever triple quadruple ultra super saiyajin? Of course, Son Goku. It would be utterly foolish to fight aliens without the aid of Son Goku.
DT1 - Dominos Pizzaman. I have no idea how this entire thing is gonna go down, with catering and all, but i have a feeling it might be important to have someone with strong connections into the pizza delivery world to provide the team with neccessary food. Alternatively it would also be pretty great to have a chipotle delivery man to try and poison the opposing alien team with their food. Their margarithas are pretty solid but thats a different topic. Dominos pizzaman, or DP for short, is also a good DT i think, for scouting the team i didnt actually watch any tape.
DT2 - Garfield Despacito III. His main objective for this team is to make everyone despacito. Alexa play despacito. I dont know exactly how hes going to be achieving this, but from hearsay he can do it. Also ive been told its something thats either interesting, supportive, helpful or something i dont actually know either, but being despacito sounds good enough. I actually just googled what despacito means apparently it means slow maybe hes gonna slow down some aliens or something i have full confidence in him however.
SLB - Ernest Lover. Honestly its nice to have an ernest lover on your team, its making for some great locker room romance. And love is all we need to beat the alien team. Ernest is also the second highest TPE person in the entire league, but thats of course only secondary to the great success of the earths all star team.
MLB - Kahn Cussion. Rumour has it, he had his very first concussion falling of the changing table as a 10 week old. But that was only the first of many. His latest concussion hes gotten from being kicked in the helmet by Lane Frost while unfortunately still wearing his helmet. However, a concussion is nothing bad for Kahn Cussion, he thrives while being concussed, its a state of mind for him. And this is exactly why we need him on this team. A player that thrives under the most extreme conditions of CTE. What if the aliens start playing dirty after being kicket in the helmet one too many times by Lane Frost? Kahn Cussion will take it all and only grow stronger.
WLB - Dont Draft. But i did anyone, because noone can tell me what to do. I dont really have any other reason, but im the Boss and i make the decisions i dont let anyone tell me not to draft them. I win.
CB1 - NationalSimulation FootballLeague. I mean who better to represent the international simulation football league than national simulation football league. The name is right there. Or well, it almost is. We also need some CB that isnt super low in TPE i guess, hes not really high in TPe either but should be fine, we have no chance on the football side of things anyhow lmap (dont tell my boss).
CB2 - Fairy De Pengu. WE need someone to fund this entire endevaour, and who better than one of the richest players in the entire ISFL. Pengu is really young and has inherited his entire fortune from his trust fund parents, which means he is terrible with money and will go all out spending money on this team and all star game. Im thinking the best suites of the hotel, going go karting before the match, gambling all night ( i assume the game will be held in vegas because vegas is best) before the game, all on Pengus pockets. Oh and hes really young he might get better but hell prolly stink in the game but who cares money rule all.
SS - Were going with Dogwood Maple here. Those picks cant be all about the names, lets pick some dude whos also really good at the position he plays. Lets hope Dogwood Maple can make up for all the questionable decisions I have made so far drafting this defense.
FS - SparkySparky Boom-man. Fuck it im back to choosing for names on Defense. Dogwood Maple got this. I dont even have a fake reason for picking up sparky boom man here other than that i like his name. Im getting really exhausted at this point and i mean whats really at stake here other than the future of the earth i think, i havent been really told about that part either but i just assume.
Coach - Bernd D. Brot. Original Space Jam had beloved childrens characters in it, and Bernd Das Brot is one of the most famous german child characters so you gotta appeal to the crowd a bit aswell. Also its my player and since i wrote this its pretty much already decided.
So thats it, all the cheap shots at your players im very sorry for but i need the money. If youve gotten any complaints direct them towards @Frostbite . Thanks for your attention
2064ish
RE: The absolute worst space jam lineup - UberBJ - 12-04-2021
@LANEFROST is a fantastic pick for all these reasons.
RE: The absolute worst space jam lineup - Net - 12-05-2021
where Jaycee Higgins?
RE: The absolute worst space jam lineup - teddyoojo - 12-05-2021
who
RE: *The absolute worst space jam lineup - DatSmolBoi - 12-13-2021
Bro you did not have to do me like that lmaoo