International Simulation Football League
*S31 Draft Wiki Review - Printable Version

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*S31 Draft Wiki Review - LancedJack - 12-23-2021

Like Cam Newton except somehow, inexorably, worse, I'm back! That's right, rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. I'm still alive albeit functionally illiterate and have given up any and all semblance of being a functional member of the league. My league jobs consist of.... occasional discord typist. Well shit, that doesn't pay much. But just because I have had my wiki approval powers vanished from my grasp (Or, as facts would dictate, I stopped doing it) doesn't mean I can't lambast you for having a terrible wiki. That's right! I'm back here again to tell you all about how honking your wiki is, and what better time to do it than just before a crab RISES from the depths to become an elite level player of the DSFL. Our current Hall of Fame wiki members include such league stalwarts as Dogwood Maple and Arthur Naught from seasons past. It requires truly minimal effort to land yourself in here. I believe last time in a fit of mania I awarded an A to someone because they'd posted a photo. That's the level we're talking about here. 

1.01 - Morpheus Czargyros - Baltimore Hawks
Wiki Grade - B-

Okay.... okay I can do this. It's fine! There's nothing altogether too wrong with this wiki. There's an image and that's great and I know what team they play for by their opening line so that's also great. It's just that the lower I go the worse it gets. So you played for the Grey Ducks, but now the Hawks and yet your page is as colourless as my heart for having seen it. You can edit your team colours in, it looks pretty and it's super straight forward I promise! Apart from that I don't actually know you play for the Hawks, but I can see the Ducks on there. I appreciate that when it comes to avians they're relatively similar (With the exception of Turkeys) so it's maybe evaded notice but please just a quick one there. Finally you've managed the unknowable by having gone to the college of the ISFL. Now far be it from me to question this with my inactivity in this league, but we didn't buy a college right? Right?


1.02 - Orpheus Czargyros - San Jose Sabercats
Wiki Grade - A-

Ah to be usurped by a sibling. Now I know what you're thinking "Oh that's really cool they did a brother gimmick and they're twins that's pretty dope" and you'd think I'd agree. WRONG. That's half the wiki content written up immediately, just flip some of the stuff and you're away. Same mom, same dad, same birth circumstance. However Orpheus has shone out, he's got the colour on the sidebars, he's got the college stats, he's even got the prospect bowl stats. That's right, my man said "I will represent the Coyotes unto death" and I respect that. My dude also has the round in which he was drafted in multiple locations. No ISFL info though, c'mon man you make the bigs and you're too good for the wiki?


1.03 - Cedric Wilkins II - Philadelphia Liberty
Wiki Grade - F

Trust it to be a member of the London Royals to disappoint me so massively. @Jimi64 didn't live and die for the Liberty for you to let him down this way with a lack of a wiki. I hope you're proud of yourself. You've not only let the Wiki down, you've let London down. Both the city and the fictitious team from said city. 


1.04 - Amari Springer - New Orleans Second Line
Wiki Grade - D

In much the same way as you could describe my father as present in my life, you could also describe this wiki as present. I know you intend to enter the professional ranks next season right? But wait... you got... you got drafted? That can't be right though otherwise your wiki would tell me. But all that says is that your a prospect? Prospective what? Gucci model? Snakeskin salesman? Twerk analyst? I'm not looking for the Encylopaedia Britannica here but the basics please. Treat it like a kind of Tinder profile, except instead of normal people on the other end it's fat nerds like me and @Asked Madden 


1.05 - Sconnie McHitts - Colorado Yeti
Wiki Grade - F

PENDING FURTHER INFORMATION THIS MAY BE REVIEWED

My heart. I can't take it. I feel like Don Corleone in that movie when something bad happened. Dejected and fat and vaguely Italian. Not only are you a Yeti without a wiki, you're a Seawolf without a wiki. That used to mean something around here, that used to be a badge of honour. It used to carry weight with it, gravitas, Brando-esque heft. Now it's simmered down to nothing more than a lukewarm gruel. I wish the alphabetic grading system expanded past F. An F may suffice to grade the quality, but it doesn't suffice to grade the effect it has on my heart. To that I would grade only sadness. 


1.06 - Beniri T'Chawama - Honolulu Hahalua
Wiki Grade - C-

What do AT&T, Bell and Rogers all have in common? They're all making a mint since everyone decided to start phoning it in. There are more abandoned wiki's than there are dogs at my shelter, and I should know! I pop in occasionally to show them how cool I am. What can I say, the 7 foot 4 prospect (Except you've played MULTIPLE SEASONS) has plenty going for them in the stats department. Just revisit the wiki, it's all I ask. It's grandiose in it's greyness. It's the emobiment of giving up hope. 


1.07 - Tessie Garciaparra - Chicago Butchers
Wiki Grade - B+

I grade effort and intent more than I grade content here and @"RenoJacksonHS" has actually attempted something here that I like a lot. There's colour, there's images, sure it still says Prospect but I could give a shit about that when the rest is wonderful. I feel like I've had my teenage son runaway to never return and occasionally I go into their room and it's still the way they left it and I gaze at it with a tear running down my cheek. It's all there, the layout, the tables, so much potential. A career stolen. Please come back, if not for me then for yourself. 


1.08 - Ken Oath - Orange County Otters
Wiki Grade - D

Just throw me directly out of a cannon into the sun at this point. The most confusing thing about this page is that you've actually entered yourself as a Free Agent. Now, granted, I haven't looked at the wiki template builder since sometime around the rise of the Pharoahs but did you go in and manually edit that? Cause if you have and then thrown your phone/laptop/tablet into the nearest trash compactor and walked away whistling a jaunty tune I'm more annoyed. Big saving grace for this one? Being from Woolloomooloo. My mum saw that once on a telly program, still can't say it.


1.09 - Jay Spears - Yellowknife Wraiths
Wiki Grade - F

Collect your F and bugger off. At least Ken Oath opened the spreadsheet!


1.10 - Malcolm Savage - Austin Copperheads
Wiki Grade - A-

My guy! Now you're talking! A fellow Norfolk player showing out. Look at that table. No actually, open the wiki and go look at it. It's desireable. Everything I want is in that table right there. We've got a photo, we've got the DSFL draft info, we've got the accurate sidebar colouring. Yeah they don't have any ISFL info yet but maybe they haven't stepped up yet. And if they have? Well fuck me I guess I still like it and my rankings are arbitrary anyhow. Also 4th rounder to 1st rounder? I see you grinding. Chalk another win up for the good guys here. At this rate though no one here's entering the Hall of Fame. 


1.11 - Omni Man - Chicago Butchers
Wiki Grade - B+

Omni Man! What can't he do!? Make a very good wiki apparently. That's actually quite unfair on my part, everything is here that I'd want with the exception of a college stats table. However they have done the unique thing of saying they didn't attend a college with a football program. I haven't seen that before so kudos for that, extra points all round. Wait a goddamn minute. I know that username. Why I'd know it anywhere. You know what, Von Hayes didn't even have a wiki so you're 100% better off already. Keep on keeping on!


1.12 - French Fries - New York Silverbacks
Wiki Grade - C-

It's not necessarily a bad wiki, however it is a confusing one. Okay so you're an O-Lineman, I'm with you so far, everythings lined up correctly, acceptable render, colours are all nice I'm into that and then BAM! What's this!? 

"After the DSFL Draft, Norfolk needed me as a receiver so i switched position."

Okay, that makes sense I guess but everything else refers to you as an O-Lineman. If you've time to be editing the wider body of the wiki you've got time to edit the detail. If I remember anything about the Norfolk Seawolves (And I don't) they're a detail orientated company. 


1.13 - Wendell Sailor - Arizona Outlaws
Wiki Grade - F

Fuck. I've never done this. I've never graded someone with an actual wiki with an F, but good God almighty this has to be it. It's just a cacophony of errors and not just from the user. Wiki team this has been clearly copied from an existing wiki page, check the bottom under the categories. Just as well it's not been approved! So here's where this has gone fairly off the rails. Wendell Sailor? Cool name, big fan of his work. Oh you've also put yourself from Aus, that's pretty cool I can't wait to see your Wendell Sailor render. Wait. 

[Image: Joe-Burrow.jpg]

[Image: 049dd372d83d81e86ba26ce74177ecaa]

Well ain't that a son of a bitch. Not to worry though, at least you played your college football at.... Oh jesus - "He played college football for N/A"

You're done.

1.14 - Spike Daniels - Sarasota Sailfish
Wiki Grade - A+

No. He's actually done it. He's ridden up like the Pope and blessed me with this wiki. Look at it, it's beautful. The data, the framing. Truly it's esquisite. Zyzz brought to life in wiki form. Stats, measurables, heights, weights, draft information. It has everything I could ask for and more. Was this all an elaborate prank? Was everyone else in the first round in on this? Get this man an enormous cinnamon bun immediately because they deserve it. Brilliant stuff. For those of you who need to improve your wiki game, copy this one (Not literally that's bad.)

And with that we have the entire 1st round of the S31 Draft Class and let me tell you this. That is undoubtedly one of the worst wiki round ups I've ever had to do. I would rather have six to eight mammagrams a week than go through that list of wiki's again. My life is significantly shorter for having read about them. We burn electricity to keep these alive. Fossil fuels keeping these wiki's up. A T-Rex lived and died so you could type "N/A" on a spreadsheet. God help us all.

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - Net - 12-23-2021

2nd round snubbed

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - Starboy - 12-23-2021

Man really skipped S30 with the best wiki of all time, mine! Three players with full stories and these wiki reviews just skip over my seasons. Smh…good write up though

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - LancedJack - 12-23-2021

(12-23-2021, 04:59 PM)Starboy Wrote: Man really skipped S30 with the best wiki of all time, mine! Three players with full stories and these wiki reviews just skip over my seasons. Smh…good write up though


You think the double media train can be contained?

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - Starboy - 12-23-2021

(12-23-2021, 10:31 PM)LancedJack Wrote:
(12-23-2021, 04:59 PM)Starboy Wrote: Man really skipped S30 with the best wiki of all time, mine! Three players with full stories and these wiki reviews just skip over my seasons. Smh…good write up though


You think the double media train can be contained?

Best player wikis per draft class media incoming??

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - Reno - 12-24-2021

Thanks for the reminder to update the wiki a bit

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - Kotasa - 12-27-2021

Reminder to update your wikis pls and ty also I'm hiring and only got one application so pls apply for grading stuff too ty

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - Jimi64 - 12-29-2021

Thanks for the shoutout my dude. Hope you’ve been well

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - PugWalrus - 01-04-2022

You better do S32 next. Spicy Ron has a fire page

RE: S31 Draft Wiki Review - LANEFROST - 01-04-2022

yo should do this for the S33 draftees, from the latest isfl draft.