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+---- Thread: *Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" (/showthread.php?tid=36900)
*Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" - visceralpotamus - 01-02-2022
Zephyr "Tater" Greywolf vs Pasta the Turtle
An analysis of the most one-sided rivalry in the ISFL
With one season in the DSFL and one in the ISFL under my belt, I can't help but look across my locker room with a sense of envy and longing. Being a petulant and vindictive individual, I require vitriol and antagonism in order to fuel my performance. A parallel could be drawn to elite performances by athletes such as Michael Jordan in the NBA and Tom Brad in the NFL. These are athletes who will take any slight, no matter how insignificant and ephemeral, and convert that into bulletin board material and propel them into dominant performances. As a multiport turtle, I am no stranger to these sorts of motivational tactics. When I am playing hockey, I often am motivated by specist (anti-animal or human supremacist) comments or logos. When I joined the ISFL, I quickly sought out a similar sort of motivation. As I alluded to earlier, an excellent example exists between the two tight ends on my team, Lenard Graf (@Trempale) and Makoa Mahiʻai (@King Jellyfish. While Lenard Graf as clearly asserted himself as the top dog on the team (with a contract stipulated discord role denoting this achievement). WHat makes me jealous is that this was a contest between two equals. Two athletes at the height of their game. Lenard Graf is a budding superstar, the first TIght End taken 1st overall in virtual decades. The other is an ageing legend with so many seasons of dominance already under his belt. In fact, it took them until the end of the season to crown a victor. Then we look to the "rivalry" between myself and Zephyr....
Chapter 1
DSFL
Both of us being new creates in the ISFL, we both made some impulsive decisions with regards to our positions coming into our rookie season. I fancied myself an offensive lineman, in search of pancakes, and Zephyr identified as a defensive lineman, looking to be buried. After the draft, both of us were persuaded to position switch to linebacker...and the semblings of a side bet were established. My similarities to Michael Jordan in fact also extend to gambling on the contest of which I am a clear participant.
The bet: Who would get the most tackles and sacks (combined).
Rationale: We were both linebackers, both with the pass rushing archetype. Likely primary focus tackles and sacks, less concern with coverage.
The result:
Zephyr "Tater" Greywolf: 87 Tackles, 6 sacks, total 93
Pasta the Turtle: 91 Tackles, 10 sacks, total 101
Victor: Pasta the Turtle
While this contest may have the trappings of a close contest, the fact is I ran away with this early on, and Zephyr attempted to mount a meaningless comeback towards the end of the season. As will become a theme for my play, I will come out hot of the gate, and start to cool off towards the end, while my "rival" will play dead for half a season, before rousing from his slumber and attempting to save face. Nevertheless with both our first DSFL seasons in the books, we looked ahead to the draft, and expected to continue our rivalry in the junior system the following year. I also want to take a moment to shout out the Portland Pythons who were an amazing group to be a part of, and I was so stoked to see them continue to the DSFL playoffs after coming agonizingly close to playoffs the previous season. Also HUGE shoutout to my boy SPICY RON (@ for having such a stellar rookie season, and putting both Zephyr and I to shame.
Anyways, back to the rivalry, the ISFL draft happens, and I end up on the Baltimore Hawks (Thanks @Frick_Nasty love you), and Zephyr on the Yellowknife Wraith. The twist though is that I am drafted as a Safety, so I undergo another position switch, which will have an impact on our tackle and sack wagers. Furthermore, Baltimore had a need at the big club and needed to promote me faster than I had expected. I remember tentatively reaching out to zephyr, but fortunately, The Wraith had likewise decided to promote Tater to the frozen tundra of Yellowknife.
Chapter 2
The ISFL (rookie edition)
While it was a foregone conclusion that our side bet would continue, wagers had to change, since Free safeties are more known for pass deflections and interceptions, while linebackers of his ilk seek sacks and tackles. We agreed to look at big plays, so sacks and interceptions. The leader for the previous ISFL season for sacks was Domine with 20, while the safety with the most interceptions achieved 5. Using these numbers we devised a point system where a sack is worth 1 and an interception is worth 4. We were finally ready for round 2!
The result:
Zephyr "Tater" Greywolf: 7 sacks, 1 interception total 11 points
Pasta the Turtle: 0 sacks, 6 interceptions: total 24 points
Victor: Pasta the Turtle
Wow. Again a quick burst out of the gates not typically expected from those of my reptilian persuasion, I piled on the interception, while Zephyr piled on the splinters from riding the bench. I guess towards the end of the season Tater finally got with the program and started impressing enough in practice to earn some playing time. We did manage to put together an impressive number of sacks for a rookie, but too little too late. He comes up short once again, as we gave towards round 3.
Chapter 3
The ISFL (Sophomore season)
We will continue with the same points system as this seems to be in line with what historical results are. While one may be tempted to seek out better completion, I have been persuaded to humour Zephyr's desperate pleas for another chance. Hard to say no to those puppy dog eyes. If steel sharpens steel, then I am at severe risk of dulling my instrument, but at my heart, I am a sentimental turtle, and I am eager to see this through.
Best of luck next season. Lets uhhhhhh try to make it interesting this year, what do ya say?
(1030 words)
RE: Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" - shadyshoelace - 01-02-2022
RE: Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" - ZootTX - 01-02-2022
My money's on the wolf.
RE: Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" - Trempale - 01-02-2022
2nd best Battle in the league, no doubt!
RE: Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" - King Jellyfish - 01-02-2022
"Best of luck next season. Lets uhhhhhh try to make it interesting this year, what do ya say?"
(IDK how to quote)
Damn shots fired. And also technically, Lenard is aging aswell. Iam not old!
RE: Pasta Vs Zephyr: A "Rivalry" - PugWalrus - 01-03-2022
See you in the ISFL this season homie!