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*Rather Early totally wrong Mock Draft! - teddyoojo - 02-12-2022

Ok so, since its double media time and the upcoming S34 Draft Class is a rather big one in comparison to recent seasons ( atleast as far as i can tell) Im going to try and make a rather comprehensive 2 round mock draft here. Im sorry if you feel disrespected by my choices, but in actuality it doesnt bother me at all.
So for this mock, since playoffs havent been played yet, this will be the assumed draft order:
1. New Orleans Secondline
2. Yellowknife Wraiths
3. San Jose Sabercats
4. Philadelphia Liberty
5. Honolulu Hahalua
6. New York Silverbacks
7. Colorado Yeti
8. Berlin Fire salamanders (btw its weird that its not one word - Firesalamander since thats how it is in german, english sucks tbh)
9. Austin Copperheads
10. Chicago Butchers
11. Orange County Otters
12. Baltimore Hawks
13. Sarasota Sailfish
14. Arizona Outlaws

Honestly im not entirely sure how the interdivisional Tiebreakers work to decide draft position, but i assumed it to be point differential, so thats what i went with. If im wrong, it doesnt really matter since im most likely wrong about all the following draft picks anyways.
Late edit: Actually strike that, new information has come to light that it actually depends on Conference Record before point differential, but i think the draft order still stands the same
So lets get started, with the first overall pick of the Season 34 ISFL Draft...

1. The New Orleans Second select.... Erwin Kemp, Wide Receiver, Norfolk Seawolves
Well tbh, its always harder with these early picking teams since they obviously have the most holes in their team which makes it hard to just choose 1 player theyre gonna draft. Especially with NOLA, since they have only 1 Senddown, who is inactive.
Ill be honest, i had them taking Cross Eriksen at first but since that wasnt an option as i learned that Tesla is a GM, i was kinda struggling to find something else that makes sense without having to redo the entire draft.. SO theyre gonna choose the obvious best Norfolk player! The NOLA-Norfolk connections is as far as i can remember the strongest DSFL-ISFL connection so i think it can be thought of as reasonable. I hope.


2. The Yellowknife Wraiths select.... Simon The Frog, Cornerback, Bondi Beach Buccaneers
The Wraiths desperetly need help in the secondary, especially at safety. However, with no good safety prospects its hard to pick a safety as number two overall, so they have to select a Cornerback here and hope theres some way to figure out their secondary with maybe a positional switch or play a CB at safety, im not sure about the rules for this entirely.
And while they have one Cornerback in the DSFL right now, he appears to be rather inactive so its unlikely hell be able to carry the amount of work that is required to make the yellowknife wraiths a contender again.

3. The San Jose Sabercats select.... Zayne Dangle, Wide Receiver, Bondi Beach Buccaneers
So this is where the second Bucc already leaves the board, honestly its been a hard choice again. SJS has some glaring holes in their team, especially in their secondary, with their best Safety already being in regression and sitting quite low on TPE already. But as previously stated, since the need at safety seems to be a prevalent problem in the entire ISFL, its also, logically, hard to find good safety prospects for the ISFL.
So the reason i went with Zayne Dangle here is that hes simply the best WR prospect in the draft (also the highest TPE prospect at time of writing) and therefore my number one choice for this.
One point for them to pick up a WR here is the fact that their Quarterback Panda McKyle is heading into the prime of his career and San Jose only has 2 wide receivers right now, with one being pretty deep into regression next season, and it would be unwise to waste the best years of your quarterbacks career with a subpar receiving corp.
Therefore a WR simply makes sense to me here.

4. The Philadelphia Liberty select.... Louis Blondin, Wide Receiver, London Royals
So this is a tricky one, since teams that good generally do not get to pick this early, but alas, here we go. They honestly do not have many holes in their team, and they do also have one of the best talent send down to the DSFL, with continuity plans set up at multiple positions. They also seem like the only team with a good looking future at the Safety positon.
However, the only thing i can think of there is either someone on the Dline or a Wide Receiver. While they also have 2 Senddowns in the DSFL at WR, one of them doesnt seem to earn that well, and their top2 WRs are on their way out of the ISFL soon due to regression. Its honestly not a choice im super confident in, but it is what it is with teams that are that deep at almost every position.
Oh also why no DLine? because theres no good DLine prospects to go 4oa in my opinion.

5. The Honolulu Hahalua select.... Ganyu, Linebacker, Bondi Beach Buccaneers
The Honolulu Hahaluas dont have any huge holes, honestly they could use a wide receiver aswell, but since alot of WRs have already vanished off the board i think its reasonable for them to start filling a hole on Defense for the future, while they currently have one of the strongest LB cores in the League, both are already affected by regression and its not gonna get better.
Ganyu is the best LB prospect on the board, which is the reasoning that i have them taking him here, intitially i thought hes equal with Dopalicious, but turns out thats another GM player ffs...

6. The New York Silverbacks select.... Darius Bailey, Wide Receiver, Tijuana Luchadores
The Silverbacks seem rather setup for next season as there doesnt seem to be any glaring holes in their Lineup yet. They have continuity setup at CB, and the only thing lacking for now seems to be the DLine once again, but honestly its so boring to draft Dline and they do definitely want more help in the future at WR. 2 Wrs in regression next season, none send down, and the third WR being inactive for a while now, they definitely need to draft some help for Young Quarterback Malcolm Savage.
I could most definitely see them picking up Solace Avenger here aswell, but i still believe in the importance of keeping your young starting Quarterback happy and giving him the help he will definitely need in the coming seasons when their 2 star wide receivers will be forced into retirement by the regression gremlin.


7. The Colorado Yeti select....  Solace Avenger, Defensive Tackle, Dallas Birddogs
So the Yeti have absolutely no DLine, they have 2 Defensive ends that are barely scraping onto life, one will meet his maker in S34 the other ones also pretty regressed. Absolutely zero DTs. SO this pick makes alot of sense to improve a position of need for the Yeti. Initially i wanted them to draft a linebacker, however  Solace Avenger is simply a better prospect than any Linebackers available.
The yeti will need to fill holes at both CB and Safety quite soon, look out for more on that in the later rounds should i actually choose to do more than the first round oh boy.

8. The Berlin Fire Salamanders select.... Rumble Ronson, Running Back, Dallas Birddogs
So the next Birddog selected in this draft (back to back), and its a Running Back. The Fire Salamanders hope that Ronson will eventually be able to fill the gigantic shoes left behind by two of the all time great Running Backs in the ISFL, Goat Tank and Nakamura. Nakamura being practically dead of old age already, and Goat tank seeing himself in Nakamura in the next couple seasons, trying to replace what once was seems to be a great choice by Berlin.
They do also need alot of help at Linebacker very soon, however theres just not any great options left anymore at that position. Look for them trying to snag a steal in the second round for the linebacker position however.

9. The Austin Copperheads select....  "Captain" Billy Stinkwater, Wide Receiver, Minnesota Grey Ducks
So the Copperheads dont really need anything to be honest, which is why i have them gunning for the highest TPE prospect available. I mean they do not have any Tight ends, so a forth receiver could come in handy, especially since their WR2 and WR3 are not the best of earners, but hoenstly this is a toss up. The fact that they have 3 running backs on the roster also makes it seem less likely to require a 4th Wide receiver, but honestly at the end of the day i still think this pick makes more sense than any other picks. TPE>ALL.

10. The Chicago Butchers select.... Theo Lariat, Kicker/Punkter, Minnesota Grey Ducks
So hear me out, looking at Chicagos Lineup they really really do not need anything, they have hands down the best roster i have looked at so far, and it makes it hard to choose a draft pick. Theo Lariat has by far the highest TPE of the still available prospects, and to be honest, I can see him position change since hes a pretty good earner but i might also be wrong. Maybe he wants to stay Kicker/Punter since its such an esteemed position (unlike OL) and even there he could be useful to the Butchers.
I dont really know why, but i really would like this pick here. Theo Lariat will go in the first round!

11. The Orange County Otters Select.... Alex Armstrong, Wide Receiver, Kansas City Coyotes
So Oco kinda is the opposite of Philadelphia Liberty, its confusing to see them pick this late in the draft, but alas, here we are. They have quite a bunch of holes in their team. At Safety, at linebacker (soonish), and at WR. While they have Kenny Oath line up Wide basically exclusively, they lack a true WR1 and need to find one somehow.
Therefore i have them selecting the best available WR prospect here to support their rising QB Tron Carter. As previously mentioned, giving your QB weapons and making him happy is very important to do, just look at the Bengals drafting Jamarr Chase over Penei Sewell.

12. The Baltimore Hawks select.... Chim Rickles, Defensive End, Kansas City Coyotes
Baltimore has a really solid lineup (but really bad OL, trade Theo away) so they dont have alot of needs, but one need they do have is on the Dline. Coincidentally, Chim Rickles is also one of the best available prospects left, which makes this a slam dunk draft choice. Realistically, I can also see them draft another OL from somewhere i dont even know who tbh, but their GM is obsessed with OL for some reason noone understands why so itd be reasonable to see an OL drafted to Baltimore.
They might want to look into starting up a new Running Back talent, but itd be quite the stretch to call that a need when neither RB has hit Regression yet (althought its coming, dont be scared)

13. The Sarasota Sailfish select.... Lucius Salem, Wide Receiver, Norfolk Seawolves
The sailfish probably really want to make bad Quarterback Tron Carter happy as hes heading into his strong seasons, and since probably old and fired GM frostbite still has a secret stranglehold over the sailfish his wishes will be followed. Proof of this? Im just asking question. Also I read it on the internet.
In all geniunity, the sailfish dont have that many holes and with Jackson Kingston in deep regression and their Saleem Spence starting to regress in Season 35, its quite reasonable to improve their WR core here, especially since u do not want to waste the strong years of your quarterback.
But what do i know, who knows if the sailfish even scout people anymore they certainly didnt scout me ;(

14. The Arizona Outlaws select.... Nathan Explosion, Defensive End, London Royals
So the future for the outlaws looks rather grim, alot of victims of the regression gremlin in there, and they do actually have zero DE's on their entire roster and some of their LB/DTs are already being eaten alive by aforementioned gremlin. They could also really do with a wide receiver, but with literally half the draft picks so far having been wide receivers, its hard to make a case for another one.


For the second round, im going to go slightly shorter, especially since quite some GM picks in there and stuff.

15. Nola selects their GM, Elessar Jones, Linebacker,  Tijuana Luchadores
no explanation neccessary

16. Yellowknife selects Titus Samson, Safety, Kansas City Coyotes
Another draftpick by the yellowknife wraiths to improve their struggling secondary, and especially their very high need for a Safety, YWK will hope that Samson can be a future starter in the ISFL

17. San Jose selects Russet Buster, their GM
no explanation needed tbh

18. Philadelphia Liberty select Cuttino Mobley, CB, Dallas Birddogs
They do need some help at CB, so snagging the highest avialable prospect here that is a CB makes some sense

19. The Honolulu Hahalua select Ains Ool Gown
Two regressing Running Backs, the best available prospect, it all comes together to make scorycoty the pick of choice here for the hahalua

20. The New Orleans second line select Bageshwari Singh, Quarterback, Bondi Beach Buccaneers,
With Jpachs player heading into regression coming next season its time to draft a replacement, and that will be Singh.

21. The Colorado Yeti select their GM, Cross-Eriksen, Safety, Minnesota Grey Ducks,
and land a real good deal here

22. The Yellowknife Wraiths select Joey Din, Defensive End, Minnesota Grey Ducks
The Wraiths will need help on the Dline quite soon, therefore they choose to go with Defensive End Joey Din here.

23. The Austin Copperheads select Nacho Nacho Man, Tight End, Bondi Beach Buccaneers
They have legit 0 tight ends on their roster, so drafting one seems like a rather natural idea

24. The Chicago Butchers select Franz Udo Culman-Kaiser, OL, Bondi Beach Buccaneers
Honestly no idea who would consider drafting an OL, but i think the Butchers have no glaring holes, therefore improving the offensive line and making it 5/5 Humans seems reasonable to expect.

25. The Orange County Otters select Tom Taylor, Safety, Minnesota Grey Ducks
The Otters need a second safety badly, and this one falling to them is quite a blessing for them imo

26. The Baltimore Hawks select Michael Patrick Porkins, Running Back, Tijuana Luchadores
Id kinda expect OCO to try and snag speculadora somehow, but also it seems reasonable to assume hes going to Baltimore i think

27. The Sarasota Sailfish select Sam Sung, Linebacker, Dallas Birddogs
It does make sense for Sarasota to improve their Linebacker lineup here, samsung also being the best prospect TPE wise and them having a soft need for linebacker makes this pick reasonable

28. and final pick of my mock draft, The Arizona Outlaws select their GM Spottie O’Dopaliscious, Linebacker, London Royals

So this has been alot of work, I'd honestly be kind of surprised of any of this ended up being correct, 4 GMs in this draft made it quite annoying since i had to recheck all the time and stuff, but i hope its worth a read atleast.

Thanks for reading this far. Uber sux

2522 words


RE: Rather Early totally wrong Mock Draft! - ctots - 02-12-2022

“Theo Lariat will go in the first round!”

You heard it here first, ISFL GMs!