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+---- Thread: (S36) Offseason Task (/showthread.php?tid=39823)
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - Charple - 06-26-2022
300+ Words
7. This task is exclusive to non-recreate rookies of the S35 class and later. In 300 words or more, how has your experience been in the league? Who have you met that has made your time here more fun, friendly, and exciting? Have you been satisfied with your player’s early start? What was it like being drafted for the first time? Do you have any comments or suggestions for the entire league that you think should be implemented?
People in this league are extremely welcoming. I would say in terms of general helpfulness, I haven't talked to a single person who didn't at least attempt to answer a question I had. As far as anyone that stands out for this season, I would have to go with the NOLA staff. The amount of detail and ease of reading they put into their contract definitions (assuming they wrote it), and the amount of time they spent answering questions for me was very much appreciated. I also really like how they set up the communication line between GM and the player, never thought of it before myself so I got a nice kick out of it.
I was very satisfied with my player's first full season, last season he only played two games and only recorded a tackle per game. For this year he significantly increased those numbers and even got a handful of sacks while he was at it. Even though he didn't reach LB numbers, I was still extremely satisfied with what he did. I was disappointed in his Run defense, though that could easily be a result of my poor planning with stat allocation. Something that also made me sad was seeing the occasional running back solo block my giant of a player, along with running backs also just simply running around them.
Being drafted was nice, though I did start to lose track of all the conversations that were going around. As for suggestions, I'm surprised that for Updaters, that the "Team done" isn't done in the spreadsheet for easier tracking. I would assume there is a reason for it but it was just something I was thinking about this weekend. Also I unfortunately missed the start of the draft and was notified by the GM messaging, nice surprise, but I just wish I was able to catch it all.
314 Words
150+ Words
25. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why? (Written Task)
With the knowledge of the Sim League that I have now, I feel that if Defensive Tackle wasn’t available that I would choose Safety. The main reason for this would be growing up as a Steelers fan, I was lucky to be able to watch Troy Polamalu every week during the football season. Along with Polamalu, when the Ravens played against us Ed Reed would be the defensive player I enjoyed watching. I always thought it was so great that I could watch two amazing safeties who played a completely different style of game both in the same division and playing in the same era. Even with the knowledge that no Sim would allow the craziness that Polamalu was able to create on the field, I would choose Safety any day. As for the archetype, I feel that I would likely choose Center Fielder, although Ball Hawk would be a close second.
152 Words
17. Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it. (Written Task)
Without knowing much about the current stadium, I would add many things associated with dogs and dog culture, with a focus on bird hunting. First there would be a nice statue of a Bird Dog, whichever mascot is, just because a statue of a good boy is a nice touch. Along with that, scattered throughout the stadium walkways and outside areas would be little carnival games and you shoot at ducks, which celebrates bird dog culture. I don't know if this last thing would even be good for dogs, but it would be nice if there was a dog friendly area outside of the stadium. It would have TVs for people, a nice off leash zone, and some dog friendly eating places. This park-like area would be free to attend, celebrate dogs and dog culture, and drive non-ticketed and non-gameday attendance up, encouraging businesses to open and keeping the area lively.
151 words
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - Jaywe88 - 06-26-2022
6. I'm just gonna go ahead and talk about the NOLA S35 Season. Let me know if this counts, but I'm pretty sure it would.
As it stands right now, my beloved new team is rated last in the ASFC by like everyone in the second predictions and that's fair enough. BUT IS IT? With the New Orleans Secondline finishing fourth in the last season, it seems wild that they are rated last. Our defense is tied for third best in the league so that cannot be the reason. Our offense, on the other hand, may perhaps be the worst. We have a PF value of 313 which is the worst in the league. This can be attributed to the fact that our passing is incredibly low in yardage, by about 500 yards. Our Passing TDs are among the lowest but not the bottom! Our passer rating, well you get the point right? Passing just isn't our strong suit.
So we should absolutely look into rushing because of our mobile QB and rushing fantasy legend T. Stig. Despite our rushing as a team reaching over 2000 yards, we don't have as many touchdowns to show for it. Our rushing attempts are outrageously high either so like you really have to chalk it up to the sim being incredibly rude. It is wild that we only have 10 rushing TDs to show for those 2000+ yards.
Let's take a little foray into the Offensive Line statistics. It's hard to sugar coat it, it's less than productive. Well, I guess it depends on what you consider production. Our pancakes, pretty low. Our sacks allowed, however, oh boy. They're pretty good! We are currently tied for 2nd in sacks allowed.
A little segue into the defensive stats have us second in the league for tackles and leading by a wide margin in TFL! First in the league in Forced Fumbles, second in team sacks, second in deflections, first in Defensive TDs. To say that the Second-Line is a defensive powerhouse, is solid enough when viewing these statistics.
Consider putting us higher in the next season prediction. The Defense is poppin.
348 words
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - Fordhammer - 06-26-2022
15 Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland.
This will be an alternate reality of Jean-Ralphio Saperstein as Ultimus MVP. This man was born for Disneyland. He's practically a child, and he's been more times than he can count. Some kids went to summer camp after school ended, but Jean-Ralphio got sent to Disney world by his rich dad every summer. Jean-Ralphio will head straight for the haunted mansion ride. He still has no idea that all of it is fake, and he enjoys the adrenaline rush of the scare. Next he would head to space mountain, as he knows the ride will do wonders for his hair. By the way, he not only has a fast pass, but he has managed to bribe an employee to give him the ability to skip the people in the fast pass lane as well. He's essentially able to ride any of the rides as much and as often as he wants. He take full advantage of this by spending about 3 hours alone on Tomorrowland.
17 Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it.
Jean-Ralphio has been dreaming of this opportunity his whole life. A new stadium that he can design? He was made for this. The Austin stadium, while new, is notoriously boring as heck. The first thing he'll add is a giant pool of epic proportions. This pool will be located around the entire perimeter of the nosebleed section, replacing the seats up there. The lost revenue will be more than made up by selling these pool "seats" at a premium to the most wealthy Austin-ites. The slanted angle at the top of the stadium will create an interesting illusion that you are about to slide down to the field at any moment. Some say it might not just be an illusion, depending on the skill of the engineers charged with designing this modern wonder! Around the ring of the pool will feature a host of beverage and food options that will surely satisfy any fan in attendance.
22 You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?
If Jean-Ralphio were in charge of the halftime show, very few people would have any idea what the heck was going on. Why, you might ask? Because this show would feature the one and only Lil' Sebastian of Pawnee fame. The miniature pony has been rumored to have been deceased for years, but that wouldn't stop him. Even now he has invested significant sums of his career earnings into a top secret cloning facility where some of the brightest minds in the nation, and the world, are recreating the DNA of this horse by a single stolen lock of his hair. At least, they are pretty sure it was his hair. It was taken from a stable where he was rumored to have been at some point in his short, famed life. Lil Sebastian doesn't do much except prance around even on his best days, but the show would also feature a signature performance from Mouserat, a local Pawnee band.
25. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why?
I would probably have chosen receiver again. With my past two players, Nacho Varga and Lalo Salamanca as receivers, I might as well have carried on the tradition. Receiver is quite fun, depending on the quarterback and offense you are placed in to. Jean-Ralphio actually has the build needed for a receiver anyway, so it would be a natural fit for him, with those long arms and legs, aerodynamic puffy hair, and long facial features. Jean-Ralphio himself would not have cared, given his general lazy attitude about the sport in general, other than the money and fame that it offers him. In fact he probably could have gotten more of all of those things with a more glamorous offensive position like wide receiver. He would have racked up the stats, bad team or not on his way to a successful career, no doubt. of course hindsight is always 20/20, and given his success with DE it's unlikely he would make that switch with how things have played out now.
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - JKortesi81 - 06-26-2022
Writing 600 words about whatever I want for the Offseason Task is always my favorite part. Last season was a very weird time for me in not just my player’s career, but as my time as a user on the ISFL site. You see, we just had the S35 season, which is bananas. But its the first time in two players since S15 that I wasn’t a part of the Austin Copperheads. Austin, as many of you know, was my expansion team. Well, it was AdamS’ BUT I HELPED. I was there from the beginning, Easton Cole played all of his games there, and until this season, so did Bayley Cowabunga. I got traded this season not for really any reason other than it just made sense. Austin was in a rebuild time and could snag some assets for Bayley, who doesn’t quite fit the Copperheads’ timeline. But the question remained: where was I going? And what is life like outside of my Austin bubble? Would I be okay?
The answer, for me, was a resounding yes. I’m old. I’m set in my ways. But Honolulu graciously traded for me and immediately made me a member of the War Room. Okay, most of that was because I demanded it, but some of it was probably my incredible knowledge or something. In Honolulu, I found a familiar face or two, and then there were a ton of people I didn’t know. But in the next season, I really did get to know them a bit. I don’t say much there, or anywhere to be honest, but the Hahalua locker room was jacked that I was there. They are so welcoming, and the GMs there are literally nothing but top notch. I haven’t had a “hey here’s a brand new locker room” experience in real life YEARS in sim leagues, mainly because I’ve spent most of that time as a GM in all of my leagues. So coming into a new place was a relatively new experience for me. At least one I hadn’t done in forever.
It’s an interesting time in a player’s life in the ISFL when they join a new team. Most people do that through free agency. Others, like me, get traded. It’s an exciting time, but it’s a scary time. Will these guys and girls like me? Will i fit in? Is the culture just absolute shit and i don’t want to stay there? Is this the right choice? SO MANY DOUBTS can run through a player’s mind and it’s something everyone should experience at some point in their sim careers. For any team, it starts at the top. You need active and personable GMs. People who tend to be a little older (cool flex bro, i know), because in a perfect world they’re slightly better under pressure. They know how to handle various people from all walks of life just because they have more life experience. For Honolulu, they have two tremendous people running things in IceBear and MMFlex. They’re the definition of good people. It’s because of this, that everything else trickles down from this attitude. The locker room is full of mostly fantastic people, and they’re active. Hell, they’re too active for this old man, but they’re constantly chatting, and when games are on? They’re VERY active. They’re supportive. They’re everything you’d hope for and all of the questions you ask yourself that I mentioned above are answered instantly. Yes, this is a great place to be.
Because of that, we proceeded to rock together and we enjoyed the season as we ended up winning the title together. It was glorious. My point is that it was really good to experience a change in the league. Of course I’ll end up back in Austin, that’s just where my soul is here. Maybe I’m just lucky and I ended up constantly being involved with the best two locker rooms in the ISFL. Maybe this is how it is everywhere and I don’t know it. But as far as the “blueprint” that the entire league should follow on how to build a team and a locker room? That’s something Honolulu should be a prime example for. If every team is run like they are, we’d be a much better off league. For sure. It’s just very refreshing, from a league standpoint, that there’s still others really doing it right. I’ve had a great experience, and it’s reminded me of why this is a fantastic, inclusive sim league. (751)
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - Dextaria - 06-26-2022
1. The Honolulu Hahalua are your S35 Ultimus Bowl Champions! It has been an amazing and long season, but let us take a quick look at how the team made it to the winning the most desired championship in all of football history.
From even before the S35 season even started, fans and analysts from all around the league put in their predictions in terms of who the top teams would be. The Hahalua proved from their S34 season that they are the top dogs, topping the ASFC conference and reaching the finals before losing to the S34 Ultimus Bowl Champions, the Chicago Butchers. As a result, everyone believed that the Hahalua would top the conference again with a very similar core of players that got them to the finals the season prior. Starting their season off with a win against the Arizona Outlaws who were the second favourites in the ASFC conference, the Hahalua lost their second game against the New Orleans Secondline. Not a flawless start to the season, but the Honolulu Hahalua did not disappoint predictions by winning the next 6 of their games before dropping another one. At this point, the future Ultimus Bowl Champions are definitely one of the top dogs in the league, just behind the Arizona Outlaws who they beat earlier in the season. Another win against the San Jose Sabrecats and a loss to the Arizona Outlaws saw Hahalua top the league based on the Outlaws loss to the New York Silverbacks and tie breaking points in the standings. From here, the future champions continued to not disappoint with 5 straight wins to secure the top spot that all predictions believed they would be in. Therefore, regular seasonwise the Honolulu Hahalua did not disappoint.
In the playoffs, due to their top spot the Honolulu Hahalua took on the 4th seed San Jose Sabrecats who were one of the three teams able to beat them in the regular season. With this as their storyline entering the game, the Hahalua made sure to silence all the doubters by scoring 37 points in the game before the Sabrecats could even get their first touchdown. Definitely the strong showing that the team and fans alike predicted prior to the start of the playoff in the playoff bracket predictions.
Moving on to the next round of the playoffs, the Honolulu Hahalua are taking on the Arizona Outlaws who just defeated the Orange County Otters in a convincing fashion, 34-17. This game is probably the game of the playoffs with the two teams having the best records in the regular season and the score definitely showed that. In the game, the Arizona Outlaws scored first with a touchdown, but the Hahalua scored 10 before the Outlaws tied it back up in the second quarter. Then, the Hahalua were able to get 13 before the Outlaws responded. Thankfully, this was more than enough to seal the game, but the Outlaws made it close with a final score of 26-20 for the Hahalua. Again, this is exactly what most people predicted, although predictions were a little more split between these next two teams. With that, the Hahalua have once again reached the Ultimus Bowl Finals.
In the finals, the Honolulu Hahalua saw themselves facing a team that not many people expected to get this far, the Baltimore Hawks. The Baltimore Hawks had just defeated the reigning Ultimus Bowl Champions 23-17 to make it to the finals, but the Hahalua are definitely still the favourites to win. This was shown in the game as the Hahalua came out strong with 21 points in the first. Little did they know, this was enough to win the game as the Hawks only scored 13 points due to the Hahalua's strong defense. The final score was 24-13 and the Hahalua become the Ultimus Bowl Champions! I don't think anyone doubted them from start to finish and definitely looking to have another strong S36 season.
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - shadyshoelace - 06-26-2022
5. The league has a rich and fascinating history, and our perspectives on it differ from person to person. In 600 words or more, describe any significant moment in ISFL or DSFL history, whether you were around for it or not. Describe the context, the significant members, and the events. What exactly made this event so famous (or infamous) and why does it deserve to be remembered? Events might include championship wins, the inducting of players to the hall of fame, or even a league scandal.
With thirty five seasons in the books and over five real life years of history, there have been many important, meaningful, and significant events. One that is particularly important to me and my time in the league is the season 23 Ultimus game, in which the Yellowknife Wraiths took home the title in a dominating 38-13 win over the Austin Copperheads. To understand why this moment means so much to me, we have to rewind the clock almost an in-game decade to the season 15 draft. My player, Nero Alexander, was selected fourth overall by a Wraiths squad that was coming off of three straight losing seasons and, while stocked with young talent, didn't jump off the page as the next great NSFL dynasty.
They took the next step to reach the .500 mark with a 7-7 record the following year, then steadily improved under the leadership of their young talent to reach a playoff berth in season 16 that unfortunately ended with a first round loss by one point to the underdog Philadelphia Liberty. Season 17 saw another improvement to 8-5 (tied with the Baltimore Hawks and Chicago Butchers for the best record in the league), only to face another early upset to the Hawks.
By season 18, the Wraiths roster was shaping up into a dominant force through the growth of its recent draft picks, Alexander included, as well as some timely additions of seasoned veteran talent in free agency spearheaded by the connections and friendships league legend timeconsumer had made over his time in the NSFL. That year represented a turning point in the franchise's fortunes, as they put together a dominant 11-2 campaign in which they led the league in point differential by a wide margin. However, the regular season success once again would not portend postseason domination, as the Wraiths finally made it all the way to the Ultimus but found themselves on the wrong side of a 16-10 affair against the Orange County Otters, the most continually dominant dynasty in league history.
Season 19 was more of the same: a 9-4 record, good for the top seed in the NSFC and tied for the best in the entire league, only to fall a field goal short in a 30-27 Ultimus loss to - you guessed it - Orange County.
In season 20, the Wraiths recorded another 9-4 record, this time leading both the NSFC and NSFL, and entered the postseason as the top overall seed. Alas, the song remains the same; the Wraiths suffered their worst Ultimus loss of this era to date with a 37-20 home drubbing at the hands of the Austin Copperheads. If you're following along at home, that's three straight seasons as regular season champs all culminating in failure just when it appeared the team was ready to reach the mountaintop. With the structure of regression in the league, that has to be the end of their championship hopes, right?
Heading into the season 21 playoffs, that appeared to be the case. Yellowknife barely eked its way into the playoffs as the third seed in the NSFC with a 7-6 record, a clear sign that their window was dwindling. Amazingly, the team then took down the Colorado Yeti and Baltimore Hawks in back to back playoff games to reach their fourth straight Ultimus game, this time as the underdog. Maybe this is what they needed to get over the hump - a chip on their shoulder after entering as favorites and letting their guard down before! Nope, they lost by twenty points to the New Orleands Second Line. Raise your hand if you saw that coming.
As season 22 rolled around, the team once again ascended to the top of the league standings at 11-2, but this time they wouldn't get a chance to blow it in the big game, instead being upset 17-16 by the 8-5 Yeti in the conference finals.
Finally, after basically Nero's whole career being spent dominating the league only to fall short in the elimination rounds, season 23 came. It was a good but not incredible season, as their 10-6 record was good for tops in the conference but behind OCO's 11-5 for the league's top seed. However, after sneaking past the also 10-6 Yeti by a field goal to reach the Ultimus, they luckily met up with the Austin Copperheads, who had previously taken down the Otters. This allowed the Wraiths homefield advantage, and they finally seized their opportunity with a dominant 38-13 win (if you're paying attention, that's a better point differential than their previous blowout loss to Austin).
I've written well over 600 words here, but it's important to wrap this up by noting how meaningful this was to me personally. I was GM by this time, and I had built a massive group of friends who had forged what was basically a superteam by TPE but had always failed when it mattered most. We were all disillusioned, but continued along despite most of our players starting to fade into regression. This win was the culmination of (if I recall correctly) a real-life year's worth of sim testing, free agency pitching, draft scouting, discord chatting, and more with a group of people who would soon be dispersed to the winds of retirement. That moment was unforgettable.
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - katarn22 - 06-26-2022
9. Through a random lottery drawing, you have been named the league's new commissioner for a day. Congrats! What improvements would you make to the league if you had the power to do whatever you wanted?
Oh dear, oh no. How did this happen? Normally winning the lottery is an awesome thing, but I didn't ask for this! Regardless, I will make the best of this. I think the first thing I would do would be to meet with the rookie mentor team to hear their feedback on how the new user creation process can be improved. While I personally have not served on the rookie mentor team, I do have my own experience creating as a rookie even if it was almost 2 years ago now. I feel that there are lots of resources for new users to read and watch that explain everything they need to know. However, I feel that it can be overwhelming to even see the sheer amount that needs to be sifted through to understand the proper way of doing things. Do not let me be misunderstood, I am very thankful for the resources we do have for new users. However, having scouted many new users, a common trend among them is the feeling that things can be a bit much all at once to take in. Fortunately, I think the large presence of helpful, veteran users such as the rookie mentors offset this.
Another, perhaps more controversial, change I would make would be to implement a standard, codified set of punishments. I feel one complaint people have frequently is that punishments may not always fit the severity of the crime. Additionally, some people in the community may feel that punishment could be subjective depending on the user being punished. While I do not necessarily feel this way, I do feel that having concrete punishments for first, second, and third offences for each "crime" would avoid potential drama. I realize no system is perfect, but I feel this might be a step towards avoiding the seemingly inevitable drama.
10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.
Albert Ruschmann's Wiki page is not nearly as up to date as it should be, but it does include information about his early life. Therefore, I will take this time to recap Albert's career thus far.
Albert entered the ISFL as a defensive end, taken 5th overall by the Colorado Yeti. He was welcomed on to the defensive line by veteran defensive lineman Immanuel Blackstone who took him under his wing. Albert played two solid seasons at defensive end, tallying up a number of tackles for loss and sacks, even blocking an extra point. In Albert's rookie season, the team even went to the Ultimus game against the San Jose Sabercats. Unfortunately, they came up short and Albert tasted defeat in a championship game for the first time.
After playing two solid seasons at defensive end, the teams' needs on defense changed and Albert swapped positions to cornerback. This worked well since Albert always said if he could not play defensive end, cornerback would be his alternate position. Little did he know, he would go on to have an illustrious career. His first full season at corner, he totaled 40 pass defenses which tied a league record at the time. Also in a later season, Ruschmann put up 9 PD's in a single game, also a record at the time that has since been broken. During this time period, Albert competed closely with Outlaws cornerback Rich Triplet. Triplet is the current PD leader with over 300, a record that may never be broken. However, Ruschmann currently occupies the second spot on this list with 255 passes defended. While both are in the twilight of their careers, Ruschmann most likely will not surpass Triplet, but he has certainly enjoyed the journey. Despite not winning an Ultimus, the friends and memories Ruschmann has made along the way were the real trophies.
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - josda_ - 06-26-2022
(Tier 2 – Task 8 | 394 words)
After shockingly staying home and deciding to play his college football in Toronto, tight end Reece Wells II instantly won over the hearts of every sports-watching Canadian. When Wells II found himself drafted into the ISFL by the hometown Wraiths, the love that Canadian fans had for him multiplied by a factor of ten. Along with the rest of the Yellowknife team, fans expected championships from their home-grown player. Before that could happen, though, Wells II just wanted to connect with his fellow citizens. It had been a huge relief that he wouldn’t have to move far, and now he could spend time connecting with the locals.
Over the months that followed him being selected in the draft, Wells organized charity drives and fundraisers, along with participating in flag football games with kids that supported good causes. He used his own money to start the Reece Wells foundation. The program allowed underprivileged kids in Ontario pursue higher education on Wells’ dime. Ever the philanthropist, he was glad to help. Perhaps the most incredible thing that Wells accomplished in his short time back home was helping to raise over $10 million for the Toronto Children's Hospital. After one of his signature flag football games for charity. Wells surprised everyone with a $600,000 donation to increase the day’s total to $1 million. Not to be outdone, other celebrities at the event one-upped Wells and each other on their way to raising a whopping $13 million for the hospital.
After that first summer back home, it didn’t matter if you watched football. You didn’t even have to like sports. If you were Canadian, you loved Reece Wells II. For his summer full of service, Wells was presented with Ontario’s Community Action Award for 2051. At the award dinner, Wells said that he was honored to be there, and praised his parents’ work ethic for helping him become who he is today. He earned extra brownie points at the end of the speech for saying how blessed and excited he was to be playing pro football in Canada with “the best football fans anywhere in the world”.
Now, Wells II is back in Bondi Beach, Australia, preparing for his second DSFL season. He’s expected to play full time with the Wraiths in 2052. Until then, Canada will have to wait once more for their prodigal son to return.
###
(Tier 2 – Task 14 | 306 Words)
Season 35 was not a good one for the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Their 3-11 record made for the team’s worst season in years, and it placed them last in the DSFL. After finishing season 34 at 6-8, the Bucs had hoped to rebound in 2050. Instead, they began the campaign by losing their first 3 contests. After stealing a win against the London Royals, Bondi floundered the rest of the way and finished the final 10 games at 2-8. The team’s worst loss of the season came in week 5 against the Kansas City Coyotes. The Buccaneers were dominated in every way as the Coyotes came away with a commanding 49-12 victory. Kansas City passed for 4 touchdowns and ran in three more. At one point, the led by a whopping 40 points. A late Buccaneers field goal managed to cut the deficit to 37 before the final whistle sounded. The game’s point differential of 37 made it Bondi’s worst loss in three seasons.
There were, however, some good moments as well. Most notably, the Buccaneers swept the season series against the Minnesota Grey Ducks. Bondi put up a combined 62 points in the 2 games and allowed a season-low 13 points during the second matchup. The Bucs’ third win was the aforementioned week 4 game against the London Royals. Bondi prevailed by a score of 32-27, and the team gained an impressive 208 yards on the ground. What’s more is that the Bucs were down 21-10 at one point, and at risk of starting the year 0-5. A fierce comeback spurned on by a pick six was completed when QB Bageshwari Singh managed to hit tight ends American Boot and Reece Wells II for touchdowns late in the 4th quarter. Those 21 unanswered points allowed Bondi to move into a lead that they wouldn’t relinquish.
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - Sebster - 06-26-2022
15. Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland.
Dexter Zaylren took home the MVP award for the Ultimus game, adding to his hardware collection. He took a first class flight on Spirit Airlines to celebrate this monumental accomplishment, and ordered all the chicken nuggets and french fries his complimentary meal voucher would allow him to. Once he landed he felt right at home in the hot Florida heat and headed off to disney! While there he made sure to ride Small World and the Winnie the Pooh ride because he loves honey and little people. He also went over to epcot so he could drink around the world, but by the time he got to the third country he was passed out drunk and had to be escorted to his disney themed resort by security. Overall, our boy Dex had a great time at disney, he just wishes that he could have enjoyed epcot more before being removed from the premises for being “too drunk and causing a disturbance in front of the children and families”.
Wc: 168
17. Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it.
Next season, I think the royals stadium should add a hot tub for the home locker room. This would serve two major purposes. The first purpose would be that the away team does not get a hot tub. This would cause them to feel jealous while they are here and potentially lead to them playing poorly on the football field. The second purpose would be for the team to use. The team would be able to use this hot tub after games and practices to relax their muscles, which should lead to faster recovery times during injury. Besides helping with the player’s body’s it should also serve as a team building exercise since they will all love hanging out in the hot tub with their best friends on the royals! This should not be too expensive of an addition for the royals to add, I think most hot tubs go for a couple thousand bucks so this should be well within our budget.
Wc: 163
18. Which teammate of yours is the ultimate team player and why? How does this person exhibit selflessness and put the team first? Are they a great locker room presence who encourages others? Do they play an important but unappreciated role on the team which doesn't receive much recognition for awards?
The greatest teammate I have is Snowy. Most good teammates make plays on the field, or give rousing speeches at halftime to bring the team back from a deficit, but not my boy here. Snowy is always with me to tear down our tyrannical GM, Negs, in the locker room. Sometimes Negs gets a little too full of himself and starts asking stupid questions like “how’s everyone doing” or “what’s everyone up to”, and to be honest we just don’t like hearing that kind of language around here. Thankfully whenever I take a stand against this monstrosity, Snowy has my back and whenever Snowy stands up to this evil, he knows that I will have his back. One day I hope that we are able to put an end to this villainy once and for all, as many generations of future ISFL players should not have to witness first hand what goes on behind closed doors in Philadelphia. The things I have seen and the words that have been thrown around have left me forever scarred and with a hefty therapy bill that I am still trying to get Negs to pay for.
Wc: 193
19. If your player had a show starring them, what would the plot be?
My show would be titled Willies Wonders. In my show we would go all around the world and find the hidden wonders that lay buried deep in history. I’m talking about digging into pyramids, going deep into jungles, swimming to the bottom of the ocean. See most people wouldn’t be able to do things like this. Digging into a pyramid? Don’t you need a shovel for that? Not Willie, he’s built different. Going deep into the jungle? Don’t you need a guide and some survival supplies? Not Willie, he’s built different. Swimming to the bottom of the ocean? Don’t you mean taking a submarine? No, I don’t, and you know why? Because Willie can swim all the way to the bottom of the ocean. And you know why he can do that? That’s right, because he’s built different. I think this would be entertaining for the folks at home because you don’t get to see cool things like this in Omaha, Nebraska or Green Bay, Wisconsin, or New York City, New York. This would be straight up radical!
Wc: 178
RE: (S36) Offseason Task - dogwoodmaple - 06-26-2022
17.
There's one thing that I think we desperately need in New York - a primate sanctuary built right by our stadium. I'll be happy to fund it completely myself, that's how serious I am about this. Not only are many of these animals endangered or threatened, but we need to increase education about these wonderful animals and the best way is to have some positive interactions between them and all of our wonderful fans on a weekly basis. Kids can learn about the noble silverback, the intelligent chimpanzee, and even the beautiful orangutan. I also think it would be quite the intimidation factor to have our opponents have to enter the stadium near this primate enclosure and to hear the animals howling at them. Talk about a true homefield advantage! It checks every box for me and isn't something normal like better restrooms or more water fountains. It's unique, it's on brand, and it's something that has a tangible impact throughout multiple areas of our stadium and our franchise. A true one of a kind facility for a one of a king franchise here in New York.
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18.
It's gotta be Bob Roberts! Walk about the ultimate gentleman, scholar, and absolutely incredible teammate. If you go out to the parking lot after practice and have a flat tire? He'll give you a ride. You wake up in the morning and can't find your facility access card? He'll come pick you up. Forgot your wallet at dinner? He's got the check. Just an all around great teammate. And that doesn't even include what he does on the field! There's no time when Roberts isn't putting the team first in every single aspect of this franchise. He'd trade a thousand MVP trophies for an Ultimus and he's one of the main reasons why we've been able to win the two Ultimus that we have. It takes a special person to be that team-centric, but Roberts is the definition of that day in and day out. My days in New York are coming to a close and I'll miss all my teammates, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss Roberts more than most. Just a gem of a teammate and I wish him all the luck in all his life endeavors.
(193 words)
25.
I've gotta go with wide receiver. To me, safety and wide receiver are really carbon copies, just on opposite sides of the ball. I can use all the same skills to be an elite wide receiver. Speed, strength, agility, and jumping ability would all suit me incredibly well as a wide receiver and I think I could've been one of the best in the entire league. Plus, it would be nice to be on the good end of putting up crazy stats, hauling in highlight reel catches, and most importantly - snagging game-winning touchdowns. If my player could go back, that's certainly what I'd do and I think I would've gone even higher in the draft because of it. Wide receivers can impact the game in numerous ways and they have the potential to straight up take a game over with their ability. Whether it's as a primary ball catcher or even as a decoy, the ways they can impact the game are innumerable and wide-ranging. In another world, I definitely see Dogwood Maple as an All-Pro wide receiver. And a good one at that!
(184 words)
26.
This is always a fun topic because there are so many good starting points for ideas. One of the ones I like the most is to fundamentally change how penalties are enforced, especially on the offense. When a team gets a holding penalty, it all but guarantees a punt. Moving the team back 10 yards and making them replay the down is a death sentence for that possession and overly harsh. I'd change that to 5 yards to make it more in-line with what we're trying to advance, not to mention that you could just about call holding on every single play if you wanted to. The other rule change I'd make is to give kickers the goal of kicking the ball through the uprights on a kickoff. That would be worth an additional one point, but I'd also give the receiving team the chance to knock the ball down before it got there. You could pile up as many player back there as you want to climb the goalposts and make a human chain to knock it down, but of course that might leave you limited on the field. What a fun idea!
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