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+---- Thread: *Booter's Badass Blog #5 (/showthread.php?tid=41638)
*Booter's Badass Blog #5 - ajtigger - 10-10-2022
Well the ISFL draft is in the books and Booter McGavin is here to breakdown this years winners and losers.
Winners
The San Jose Sabercats
The main winner in this years draft is none other than the San Jose Sabercats. The Sabercats are a clear winner because they are the only team in the draft that ended up with Booter McGavin on their roster. San Jose's general manager has locked in his job security for life. Getting the greatest kicker of all time in the draft has to be seen as the correct pick 10 out of 10 times. Great job by San Jose and all other teams wish their GM was as competent. Though they did pass on Booter a few times which I am not happy about and will require an internal discussion at some point in the future.
The People of San Jose
By joining the Sabercats Booter is going to have to move out of Dallas and into sunny California. Booter loves to interact with my community and thus I am going to be walking around the streets of San Jose all the time. Get ready to see my world class smile and latest fashion trends at hot spots near you. I enjoy my lattes in the morning so San Jose please let me know the best coffee shops in the area and come in to get your picture with Booter.
Fans of other ASFC teams
This group are definitely just "minor" winners but winners none the less. Unfortunately these teams have gms that are foolish enough to pass on a generational talent. However, they are also lucky enough to be in a conference with San Jose. This means even though they have 2 guaranteed loses a season, the fans will get to see my superior kicking skills twice a season. Whether over the television broadcast or in person the ASFC fans get two chances to gaze at Booter's amazing kicking each season. I highly recommend that each of you make it out to a game. I am even more stunning in person and you will love seeing my glutes at work as I boom that ball through the uprights.
Losers
All other 13 teams in the ISFL
I think it is pretty obvious that the remaining 13 ISFL teams are losers in the draft because they did not end up with Booter McGavin on their team. I can not understand what these teams were doing on draft night. Seriously you think there are 31 players better than Booter McGavin? There hasn't been 1 player better than Booter in the history of the ISFL yet these supposedly smart GMs watched 31 players go before me. Each of these GMs are going to have to answer to their fans in the future as to why they didn't draft the clear best prospect in ISFL history. While I never like to say never, playing for these teams in the future is going to require some major apologies from these GMs.
So you know what let's actually start ranking the teams in order of what level of draft losers they actually are.
Our Biggest Loser Award goes to the Baltimore Hawks. This team passed on Booter McGavin 4 times before he was drafted. This is just insanity. Do you really think that any other pick, let alone 4 of them are going to be more impactful than me? Be glad you aren't in our conference Baltimore because I would look to coffin corner punt you so much during our matchups and stare down your GM after each one.
The next tier of losers are a three way tie between the Austin Copperheads, Berline Fire salamanders and the Yellowknife Wraiths. Each of these teams made the grave mistake of passing on Booter three times during the draft. While each GM seems equally foolish I think a special call out is required for the GM of the Austin Cooperheads. Your team plays in the ASFC, you are going to face San Jose twice a year. This means Booter McGavin is going to be in front of your fans twice a season nailing all the field goals and placing all the punts and they are going to see how often Booter wins games for their conference rival. You may be on a short leash friend, I look forward to the finger guns and hip thrusts I make in celebration of each field goal I hit in Austin.
The third tier of draft losers are simply the Philadelphia Liberty, the Colorado Yeti, Orange County Otters, the Chicago Butchers, and Arizona Outlaws. As you probably could guess, these teams passed on Booter a total of two times each in the draft. While not quite as colossal of mistakes as our previous losers, these teams still should be questioning the positions of their GMs. If I had to pick one team in this group as the biggest loser among them it would easily be the Orange County Otters. This team let Booter go to an in state rival. Get ready to see that man in green kick the ball up and down the field all over your team and think to yourself... damn he would have looked good in Orange.
My final lowest tier of losers are the remaining ISFL teams. This is Honolulu, New Orleans, New York and Sarasota. These teams all made the mistake of passing on Booter one time in the draft. This mistake is still egregious but slightly more forgivable than the others I have mentioned in the losers section. I think the biggest loser in this tier has to be the New York Silverbacks. How do you pass on Booter in the New York Media Market? My face would sell out every billboard in the city and make you unlimited cash. Broadway Booter was right there for you to take advantage of... really how can teams miss such obvious decisions.
The next losers of the night were the ISFL fans. During the draft a disgusting picture of me kicking was included with my draft profile. What was wrong with this picture you may ask? I had my helmet on. The fans did not get to see my beautiful face and award winning smile. Shame on the ISFL for not marketing my face more... you are just missing out on millions of dollars.
The final losers are only losers because of unfortunate events... those losers are my beloved Dallas Birddogs and their fans. I am going to San Jose and will no longer be there in the locker room or to be admired on the field. Please root for me now in San Jose. While we no longer may share a city or be colleagues, we have that time together and all of you are now my friends.
Remember that Booter Booms BALLLS!!! GO SABERCATS!!!
