Bondi Beach Buccaneers are a statistical enigma; from a TPE standpoint, they are at or above league average in TPE Ratings almost across the board. They are 4th out of 8 in overall Average Applied TPE and 3rd on offense while tied for last in special teams with no kicker / punter on the team. However, on defense they were near the bottom of the league. Their season ranks from last year show pretty clearly how this affected them.

Ranked dead last in defense in points per game and rush yards allowed, Bondi Beach will need to shore up its rush defense immensely. However, they were fantastic in pass defense. Unfortunately for the Buccaneers, the top 5 TPE prospects of this draft do not fit their specific positions of need on Defense. If the Buccaneers decided to go offense with this pick, they should look to shore up their 2nd worst ranked rush attack, as their passing game was 1st in the DSFL last season. However, with top Running Back Ezra Azazel being a receiving back archetype, as well as no Offensive Lineman in the top ten until Modest Mussorgsky at #13 at total TPE, there is a very good chance the Buccaneers opt to go best player available at this point. They would select the #1 player off the board, Linebacker Loose Cannon, a Versatile Linebacker Archetype with a whopping 179 TPE who can plug in right away and help shore up rush defense, even with 3 currently rostered Linebackers.

Loose Cannon can step in right away as a potential replacement for recently drafted Linebacker Money Tolliver, and would become an instant starter in front of currently rostered Linebackers Alexander Lawrence and Camron Washington, both with less than 80 TPE a piece. The team would be able to play a base 3-4 defense with all four Linebackers. Their line would be flanked by Defensive End Action Bronson and Defensive Tackle twerky dingleberry, with Nose Tackle Dummy Thicccccccccccc anchoring the interior.

The Luchadores have a lot of holes to fill, mostly on the Defense, as they were dead last in the league in both total and average TPE on that side of the ball. However, they desperately need help wherever they can, as they were ranked near the bottom of the league across the board in most major statistics last year. The Luchadores are a tricky team on the surface; they seem to need help on offense due to their low rankings in points, total yards, and rush yards per game, however it appears that those woes could be solved by a competent signal caller. The rest of the offense has near league average Applied TPE per player, sitting at 5th in the DSFL, and 1st in terms of overall TPE applied on the offense, as they have four players over 200 TPE on that side of the ball (and one just over 190 TPE):

With that amount of talent on that side of the ball, the only explanation for their season long performance is the lack of a Quarterback to bring the talent together. The case can be made to draft a Quarterback with this pick. Unfortunately, that will have to wait until later rounds, should they not want to reach at this pick, as there are no Quarterback prospects above 70 TPE in this draft.

With the above information in hand, the Luchadores will look to shore up their defense, one that ranked last in total yards and 6th in pass yards per game last season. Thankfully, the top ranked Cornerback happens to fall right into their lap at 2nd spot on our board. With only one Cornerback currently on the roster, at a total 59 TPE, the Luchadores will be thrilled to land Cornerback Bradley Welch Jr. with the second pick of this draft. Welch Jr. will shore up a much maligned unit, becoming an immediate starter. As the #2 overall TPE prospect, Welch Jr. already has 169 TPE to his name and would be a huge boon to both the defense and the overall TPE on Defense. The Luchadores currently have the worst Average Applied TPE across its defense, at an average of 134.4 per player, needing a massive influx of talent on that side of the ball. This pick will go a long way in fixing that problem.

When it comes to league ranks in Total and Average Applied TPE, The London Royals are just below average across the board. Both Offensively and Defensively in all categories, they rank either 5th or 6th, so help on either side of the ball is welcome. However, looking at last years performance and ranks by each unit we can see that the team will want to desperately bring in help on the Offense. Scoring a league worst 21.1 points per game last season and ranked 5th in both rushing and passing yards per game, this offense needs a boost to its scoring abilities. Current Running Back starter Lord Farquaads was just drafted by San Jose, so there is a chance he could be gone in a year or so. The Running Back room looks as such:

Looking for a way to add talent to this room, the London Royals will look to add Running Back Ezra Azazel, the #4 prospect with 157 TPE with the 3rd selection of this draft. Azazel also comes with the ability to help the passing game as a Receiving Back Archetype, so both aspects of the Offense should get some much needed help.

Portland has a loaded and well balanced Offense, ranking 2nd in the league in Total Applied TPE and first in Average Applied TPE. On Defense, however, they are well balanced with high TPE players at their positions, giving them the top Average Applied TPE in the league, but are 7th with Total Applied TPE. With their overall ranks pretty well balanced last season, Portland is free to target the best available player that fits a need. With no safety on the roster and coming in 5th in pass yards per game last season, Portland has an easy choice to make. Safety Mary Marie is a Center Fielder with 149 TPE to her name sitting in the top five remaining prospects on the TPE Big Board. A clea cut choice and fills one of the few holes on this roster.

Another quick and easy analysis, Dallas is low on overall TPE and is dead last in Offensive TPE across the board. Last season, they had difficulty moving the ball, as they were last in total yards and 7th in passing yards per game. Dallas will look to add a talented playmaker for Quarterback NCADV RAINN to get the ball to. Both Tight End and Wide Receiver are a glaring need, with no Tight Ends and only two 50 TPE Wide Receivers on the roster: 

Thankfully, the top Wide Receiver in this draft, Oliver Tolliver, falls to them and is quickly selected.