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+---- Thread: *Can Dallas bite back? (/showthread.php?tid=47308)
*Can Dallas bite back? - Marty the Monster - 09-06-2023
No one was hotter than the Birddogs to start the season. After four weeks in, they were a perfect 4 and 0. The offense was producing late in games to give them the lead and the defense was manufacturing key turnovers to close out ball games.
The Birddogs defense was holding opponents to an impressive 19.5 points per game while the offense was putting an average of 25.5 points on the board. Life was good in the dog park.
Pundits were calling Dallas a world beater. Fans were buying tickets to the Ultimini. Diehards were getting Octavion Speedings tattoos on their faces. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that this team was going places.
…but of course, that was before they played Portland.
In their week 5 matchup, the Pythons, the clearcut favorite going into the year, SMASHED Dallas 35-7 in Portland. From there, the woozy Birddogs couldn’t see straight as they dropped close games to beatable Kansas City and London teams.
Over that three-game losing streak Dallas surrendered a whopping 29.3 points per game while scoring a measly 17.3. Woof.
The sting of the snakebite led to frustration and infighting among the players. Crasher Wake and Miles Garrett, two respected leaders of the defense, nearly came to blows in the locker room. Dewey Greenbeans, the soft-spoken rookie safety publicly badmouthed the play of his team’s bot kicker. It got so ugly that star receiver La'Fluke Paris-Johnson almost stopped bringing oranges for everyone at halftime. Still did though. He’s just a good guy.
Anyway… Dallas was a mess. And if it wasn’t for the team’s GMs, Cycro and fnordy, dragging the players on a team-building retreat in the Everglades, they may have stayed in the crate all season long.
But the players did cross a literal bridge together and Dallas did come back. In week eight they welcomed the Luchadores to the doghouse and sent them home with a 23-16 loss.
The dogs would really get off the leash the next week with a decisive 42-20 win over the Buccaneers. Following that win, they were again tested with a painful one score loss in Norfolk week 10. This time, however, the dogs quickly bounced back and dropped the bone on the Grey Ducks last week 35-13.
This team is once again humming, but up next there’s a name on the schedule that no Dallas fan wants to see: The 9-2 Pythons.
In case you’ve been living under a rock like some dirty snake let me tell you just how dominant Portland has been. They have scored 353 points so far this season, which is not only first in the league, but also 76 more than the second place team. That’s terrifying. Oh…and they also have the top defense in the league having allowed a league low 218 points.
So Cobra Kai is coming to town with the expectation of once again manhandling the Birddogs (as they rightfully should). And sure you can try to downplay the importance of this game on the remainder of the season. Portland is basically locked into the show. Dallas is now 7-4. They could feasibly lose this game and still make the playoffs.
But there’s more at stake than just one game. The snakes embarrassed Dallas in that 35-7 loss. They broke the spirit of the dogs and made it clear the championship runs through Portland. Another humiliating defeat could once again cause them to spiral out of control and whimper their way out of the playoff picture entirely.
Yet in the face of the giant, the dogs do not appear to be trembling.
When asked about his team’s chances of winning Thursday night Dallas Center, Wario Saturday, calmly replied, “People aren’t giving us a shot. They’re ready to crown the snakes. They all think this race is over, but what they’re all forgetting is that up in the Everglades we found ourselves a blue turtle shell and we plan to use it.” (this line was followed by multiple reporters audibly groaning)
On Thursday night in Dallas the lights will come on, the doors will open, the fans will enter the stadium and we’ll find out if the Birddogs can in fact fetch their revenge.
RE: Can Dallas bite back? - dcphil - 09-06-2023
Can’t wait for revenge
RE: Can Dallas bite back? - UptownCord - 09-06-2023
Great Article! Go snakes though
RE: Can Dallas bite back? - fnordypsyduck - 09-07-2023
This is the kind of content we need in Dallas, amazing!
RE: Can Dallas bite back? - Piercewise1 - 09-07-2023
Great article! Can't wait for the game.
RE: Can Dallas bite back? - wizard_literal - 09-07-2023
Should be a good one tonight nice work!
RE: Can Dallas bite back? - homercrates - 09-08-2023
Great write up
Spoiler Birddogs came home with limp snakes in their mouth. Probably dropping them off in a owners bed or front porch.
RE: *Can Dallas bite back? - xenosthelegend - 09-12-2023
1000 word threshold for first gen 2x