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*Expected Points: S43 stuff - aeonsjenni - 09-11-2023 S27-S40 S41 S42 HELLO EVERYONE, I AM SO FUCKING CAFFEINATED YOU HAVE NO IDEA, I AM A BIT LATE ON THIS ONE SO I APOLOGIZE, IT WILL BE A RUSH JOB AND PROBABLY SHIT, BUT I HAVE LIKE 10 OR SO CHARTS TO SHOW YOU AND THEN WE CAN ALL ARGUE ABOUT WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS, ALSO I'M USING A NEW FONT, COURIER NEW, BECAUSE IT IS MONOSPACE AND THEREFORE GOATED. THANK YOU ALL FOR READING, LET'S BEGIN. THE BIG CHART, THE MAIN CHART, THE ONLY CHART WE REALLY EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS IS THE ONLY CHART WE CARE ABOUT BECAUSE IT TELLS US WHICH TEAMS ARE SHIT AND WHICH TEAMS ARE NOT. TEAMS THAT ARE NOT SHIT: CAPE TOWN, NEW YORK, BALTIMORE TEAMS THAT ARE SHIT: EVERYBODY ELSE. IF A TEAM THAT IS SHIT BEATS A TEAM THAT IS NOT SHIT, IT MEANS THE SIM IS RIGGED. DEMAND A RESIM. AS FOR THE PLAYOFFS, ARIZONA IS JUST BALTIMORE IF PRESTON BEATZ TOOK QUAALUDES AND REGRESSED TO THE MEAN. CAPE TOWN AND NEW YORK ARE JUST VERSIONS OF BALTIMORE THAT DON'T GET BLOWN OUT BY WOLFIE MCDUMMY JR. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE FUCK COLORADO IS DOING IN THE PLAYOFFS, AND SIMILARLY, HONOLULU REMAINS ENIGMATIC. THEY WILL GIVE THEIR TEAM HOPE AND CRUELLY TAKE IT AWAY AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT, OF THIS I AM CERTAIN. NEXT FUCKING CHART. PASSING CHART ONCE AGAIN, ONLY THREE TEAMS HAVE PROVEN TO BE NOT SHIT: SURPISE, IT IS CAPE TOWN, NEW YORK, AND BALTIMORE. SOMEHOW COLORADO HAS MANAGED TO MUSTER A DECENT PASSING DEFENSE WITH A SECONDARY INCLUDING A ROOKIE AS CB1, A IA AS CB2, AND FUCKING WOELKERS AT CB3, AND HAS MANAGED TO MUSTER A TOP-4 PASSING OFFENSE WITH WOLFIE MCFUCKING DUMMY JR. AT QB AND A FUCKING PIG TE WHO CAN'T WIN A FIRST-TEAM ALL PRO AS THEIR PRIMARY PASSING TARGET. I APPRECIATE THAT THREE OF THE FOUR TEAMS OF ASFC MID-DOM ARE CLUSTERED TOGETHER ON THIS CHART. IT IS A MISERABLE PLACE TO BE AND I WILL NOT CONSIDER IT FURTHER. WHERE IS BALTIMORE ON THIS CHART? SIMPLE. IT IS ALMOST ENTIRELY COVERED BY MONKE, INDICATING THAT NEW YORK WILL THRASH BALTIMORE IN THE ULTIMUS. NEXT FUCKING CHART. RUSHING CHART ONCE AGAIN, RUNNING BACKS ARE TOO FUCKING EFFICIENT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. CHICAGO, THE WORST RUSHING TEAM IN THE LEAGUE, MANAGED TO PRODUCE A POSITIVE EPA/RUSH. SAN JOSE, THE SECOND BEST RUSHING DEFENSE IN THE LEAGUE, ONLY KEPT OPPOSING EPA/RUSH TO ABOUT FUCKING ZERO. THERE IS ONLY ONE TRULY GOOD RUSH DEFENSE IN THE LEAGUE, AND IT IS THE NEW YORK SILVERBACKS. LOOK AT THAT, THEY ALSO HAVE ONE OF THE BEST RUSHING OFFENSES. THIS REINFORCES MY SILVERBACKS-WINNING-THE-ULTIMUS NARRATIVE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YELLOWKNIFE DOING, DUDE, THIS IS HORRIBLE. DO YOU KNOW WHICH TEAMS HAVE A WORSE RUSHING DEFENSE THAN YELLOWKNIFE THIS YEAR, IN THE HISTORY OF THE NEW SIM? NONE. NOT S27 BALTIMORE, NOT S39 HONOLULU, NOT S42 CHICAGO, NOT S41 NEW ORLEANS. I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF GREAT RUNNING BACKS RIGHT NOW BUT JESUS! WE'RE ONLY LIKE 4 SEASONS REMOVED FROM YELLOWKNIFE HAVING ONE OF THE BEST DEFENSES OF ALL TIME. NEXT FUCKING CHART. INDIVIDUAL PASSING CHART IT'S THE SAME CHART AS THE TEAM PASSING CHART ABOVE, BUT REFLAVORED, AND IT DOESN'T INCLUDE DEFENSES. THIS CHART IS KINDA TRASH, I WON'T LIE. BUT REGARDLESS, FALCO LEADS IN EFFICIENCY FOR THE SECOND SEASON IN A ROW. WINTERS AND MILLER PLUMMET FROM BEING EFFICIENT LAST SEASON TO KINDA MID-TO-BAD THIS SEASON. MCDUMMY SZN IS UPON US. BEATZ IS FUCKING GOOD AND PROBABLY DESERVES MVP IF YOU LIKE GIVING MVP TO QUARTERBACKS. I AM SO SORRY TO ADRIAN ST. CHRISTMAS. HE WILL RISE AGAIN. NEXT FUCKING CHART. INDIVIDUAL RUSHING CHART NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO MENTION THAT I HAVE FIXED THE ISSUE WHEREIN A PLAYER BEING TRADED MIDSEASON COULD ABSOLUTELY DESTROY THESE INDIVIDUAL CHARTS. FIXING THE ISSUE REQUIRES MANUAL INPUT AND A FULL RECORD OF THE TRADES THAT OCCURED THROUGHOUT THE SEASON, BUT LUCKILY I AM WORKING ON A PROJECT THAT DEMANDS THAT I HAVE THESE RECORDS ANYWAYS, SO IT ALL WORKS OUT. SO NOW, DUX'S EPA/RUSH REFLECTS HIS TIME IN BOTH CHICAGO AND IN NEW YORK, AND THE SAME GOES FOR BROOKS. ALL IN ALL: PETE ZUH REFUSES TO BE BAD. NEXT FUCKING CHART. WR RECEIVING CHART JOHNNY BLAZE JR. HAD A PHENOMENAL SEASON, NO DOUBT, BUT CLEARLY IT SEEMS AS THOUGH GETTING TARGETED EIGHTY TIMES A GAME KILLED HIS EFFICIENCY. TO BE FAIR, HIS NUMBERS LIKELY LOOK A LOT BETTER IF MILLER HAD NOT THROWN 4 INTERCEPTIONS WHILE TARGETING HIM IN ONE GAME. ALSO, @zaynzk MADE THIS WHEN HE SAW THIS CHART, WHICH MADE ME LAUGH: IN FAIRNESS TO JAY MONEY, HE DID PLAY ALMOST ENTIRELY AT TIGHT END LAST SEASON. NEW YORK IS ALSO NOTABLE FOR HAVING 2 TOP-4 WIDE RECEIVERS, BUT AT LEAST THEIR WR-PLAYING-TE (SEAN ROBINSON) HAD A PRETTY GOOD SEASON. NEXT FUCKING CHART. RB RECEIVING CHART YES, YES, AS IS TRADITION, ARCHIPELAGO IS THE BEST RECEIVING BACK IN THE LEAGUE, BUT HE'S PLAYING HALF OF HIS SNAPS AT WR. IT'S STILL VERY COOL THAT HE'S SO SUCCESSFUL IN THAT REGARD, BUT I AM VERY INTERESTED IN AYAME'S SEASON. APPARENTLY THEY LINED UP AT FULLBACK MOSTLY? BUT THEY STILL HAD A VERY EFFICIENT RECEIVING SEASON AND WAS SOLID AS A RUNNER AS WELL. VERY COOL. NEXT FUCKING CHART. TE RECEIVING CHART SADLY, ONLY 8 TEAMS HAD A TE WITH ENOUGH RECEPTIONS TO QUALIFY, AND YET SOMEHOW, COLORADO HAD TWO. TOLLIVER'S NUMBERS HERE MUST BE ENTIRELY DISCARDED, AS I CANNOT DISENTANGLE THE WR OLIVER TOLLIVER FROM THE TE PENGER TOLLIVER. THIS IS ALSO TRUE FOR THE WR RECEIVING CHART. LUCIUS SALEM CONTINUES TO HAVE GOOD RECEIVING SEASON, AND I HOPE THEY DO NOT FALL INTO THE NEGATIVES NEXT SEASON, OR IT WILL BE THE END OF THE HOGMALLY-SALEM ERA. NEXT FUCKING CHART. OH, WE'RE DONE. Thanks so much for reading! Have an excellent day everyone :] ~Jenni RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - homercrates - 09-11-2023 great info thank you! RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - soevil - 09-11-2023 I like this writing style a lot RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - Baron1898 - 09-11-2023 This article reinforces my Silverbacks-winning-the-Ultimus narrative RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - DREAMSLOTH - 09-11-2023 I can't tell you how much I appreciate this entire post being in all caps. RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - Cycro - 09-12-2023 The energy this brought is unmatched and I love it. My favorite bit: "ARIZONA IS JUST BALTIMORE IF PRESTON BEATZ TOOK QUAALUDES AND REGRESSED TO THE MEAN. CAPE TOWN AND NEW YORK ARE JUST VERSIONS OF BALTIMORE THAT DON'T GET BLOWN OUT BY WOLFIE MCDUMMY JR." It's like poetry. RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - jollyjiggs - 09-12-2023 I love this. Thank you for gracing my eyes with the font and my neurons with your writing. RE: Expected Points: S43 stuff - 18situaseans - 09-12-2023 S41 gang RE: *Expected Points: S43 stuff - CeeKay - 09-13-2023 i like this new jenni