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+---- Thread: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 2 (/showthread.php?tid=49251)
*THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 2 - Brad Woof - 01-19-2024
CRAZY'S CRUELTY CAUSES COMMUNITY COMMOTION
The ISFL community was shocked today when allegations of animal cruelty arose around Orange County Otters DE, Crazy Tomato @Crazytomato. Sources allege that Mr. Tomato told them a story regarding a string of events years ago in which he claims he was "forced" to defend himself from a mere three year old goat.
"[He] got so aggressive that we carried like a metal poll with us when we got out of the car," Tomato claims, "I . . . hit him . . . with it . . ."
Doghouse sources claim the scene got heated, with several bystanders bravely accusing Mr. Tomato of violence against a defenseless animal. Tomato tried to shift the blame, instead accusing the goat of somehow being the aggressor in their regular encounters. When the growing crowd was un-swayed, he tried one last allegation: "The goat got put down because it ruined part of my aunt's car!"
Like his other defenses of "he was big" and "I was only 7", this one is hard to believe. One anonymous contributor offered the postulation that the car story was fabricated by Mr. Tomato to exact some kind of sick revenge on the animal. When Doghouse reached out for comment regarding this possibility, Tomato offered no rebuttal, only a shrug.
It remains to be seen if there will be any investigation into or punishment for Tomato's alleged wrongdoing, but we at the Doghouse recommend any quarterback facing off against the Otters next season take special notice of Tomato before snapping the ball. After all, his name is likely Crazy for a reason.
The Otters issued this formal response: "The management here in OCO is shocked to hear that our player would hit a goat. It is shameful that Mr. Tomato did not conduct his actions in a more appropriate manner, especially since we here in Orange County know a thing or two about GOATs ourselves. After all, Mike Boss played for your beloved Otters. We will work with Crazy as we head into the season to ensure that he is on his best behavior and focuses his wild energy on the gridiron."
The Doghouse has reached out to ISFL Head Office for comment.
RE: THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 2 - Crazytomato - 01-20-2024
false info