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+---- Thread: *The Joker's Last Dance (/showthread.php?tid=50030)
*The Joker's Last Dance - lock180 - 03-08-2024
Well it was fun while it lasted......
COLD OPEN
I had no intention of making this a Weekly Mirror rant but I received some information that must be reported. I will let this out of the bag now before we go any further, I am stepping away from the media realm for the time being. I will still be around but not grinding out media like I have been. I say this now because I informed jreed, writer of the Weekly Mirror, of this fact to inform him that the Weekly Mirror would become the new villainous media machine. Unfortunately, it would seem that he let this information go to his head and took said information to heart.
This is the message I received from an ANNONYMOUS source (see I can do that too).
![[Image: GEdvxLv.png]](https://i.imgur.com/GEdvxLv.png)
These leaks seem to be happening more and more frequently to you and the Weekly Mirror (you’re lucky I’m taking a break from media). When will you realize no one wants to work with you and that the trust you think you have with the rest of the league is a facade that I have created to make you feel comfortable? The media world runs through me and there isn’t a thing that is published that I don’t already know about.
Back to these shocking messages…. First of all, I don’t think you understand how to win a Gemini. This season’s media ran through ME. You are fighting to find storylines that relate to ME. You wouldn’t have blown up without ME. So if you think you are easily walking away with a Gemini you are sorely mistaken. In addition, there are multiple, other, WAY more talented authors out there in this league that I’m sure you will be able to catch up on from the comfort of your own prison cell.
Second, are you stupid? Of course, I knew I was “handing you the dub”
![[Image: dSLvfoX.png]](https://i.imgur.com/dSLvfoX.png)
I am going on leave for a season or two of course you will have the last word. But I’m not just handing you the dub, I’m handing you all of the chaos and backlash that comes with it. So you better be prepared because you’re now on Baron’s naughty list and just as a pro tip from a 2x Gemini Award winner myself, don’t celebrate before you cross the finish line. You never know when someone might come up from behind, trip you, spit on you, and walk over the finish line victorious.
The Prophecy Comes True
It’s hard to believe that just over a month ago, on November 2nd, 2024 I officially announced that this was The Year of The Joker. Enraged by @caleb.grims preseason rankings in which I put my heart and soul into a write up he still placed us 13 out of 16 teams.
What I said in that write up was a prophecy that came to be the most truthful words I have ever spoken in the ISFL:
“So the Wraith GM’s have foolishly put me, Zenzeroni Xystarch II, second coming of Venus Powers and superior sibling to Zenzizenzizenzic Xystarch, in charge of this little excerpt on how well we will do this season. So let me put it like this:
Up and coming Quarterback? Check
Star Tight End? Check
Elite Running Back? Check
Best Kicker in the league? Check
The only position lacking is wide receiver and if Toney can still play for the Chiefs then our wide receivers can still play for us. *(this didn't age well)
On the defensive side we are even better boasting two corners soon to be reaching their prime, and some random safety named @TubaDeus that we found wandering the street. Then there’s the dangerous defensive ends and tackles Mo Gago and Dan Dandrews and two respectable linebackers. Of course, we do have the liability of having Thor Dangerson on our team but if you look past that you can see that this is a sleeper team that could make a big impact starting as soon as this season. So don’t let last season's fluke fool you from seeing the potential in this underdog team with emerging and rising stars and don’t be surprised to see us slip into the playoffs when the end of the season rolls around.
.
.
.
Enough with this PR nonsense, this is how I really see it. This is MY team and they are NOTHING without me. I am the ONLY thing holding this team together and am the only reason we will be competing this season. So I may have received 1st team all pro as a punter but don’t let that fool you into thinking I’m not coming for every single one of you. Whether you are on my team or off I am out for BLOOD. Because THIS SEASON. THIS SEASON, IS THE YEAR OF THE JOKER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
-Zenzeroni Xystarch II”
I don’t see a single thing in this prophetic write up that ended up being wrong. Boudreaux emerged as a legit threat, Crashmore was the star tight end we needed, Tolliver was the biggest part of this team and me hehe, well as far as I’m concerned there’s a bigger story to tell there isn’t there? But before we get to that, the defense stepped up when we needed them to and despite the overall stat rankings saying we were a below average team, we, like I mentioned in the write up, slipped into the playoffs by the hairs on our chinny chin chin.
Unplanned Problems and Unfinished Solutions
But the problem is folks, as I stare at my laptop screen in the middle of the night thinking back on the events that unfolded on Wednesday. I didn’t think we would slip into the playoffs AND slide past Sarasota and Baltimore. That was NOT part of The Year of the Joker. I was prepared to get bounced in the first two rounds. In fact, I had a HILARIOUS media piece all written up but since we have made it to the Ultimus, that media isn’t worth publishing. At least, not publishing alone. Let me set the scene:
The Wraiths have just had a brutal loss to the Sailfish in the first round of the playoffs. Everyone in Yellowknife is disappointed but somewhat expected this to happen, ImJustAGuy is getting spammed by jreed, CrazyTomato, McGriddy and more pinging him about how much he sucks when a new media post is published.
“Hey guys, Zenzeroni (lock180) here. I’m retiring. I didn’t think I’d be saying this and I’m sure the majority of you didn’t see this coming. In fact, I haven’t even told my GMs about this decision yet. Let me explain before I lose my train of thought. First of all, this isn’t because we lost in the playoffs or anything to do with the Yellowknife Wraiths. They are a great team run by some great people and have a bright future ahead of them. The whole point of a sim league watching tiny circles run into each other with a bunch of strangers is to have fun. To put it simply, I have not been having fun the last two seasons. The amount of work that went into building TPE and being easily near the top of my class in that regard simply never translated onto the field the way I’d hoped. I wanted to make the Hall of Fame, and not only am I not on track to do so, but I have consistently been outperformed by my peers in most field goal stats. It isn’t fun anymore — Zenzeroni became a chore. I would’ve hung up the cleats even earlier, but I didn’t want to screw over Yellowknife by retiring without giving them a shot to prepare for my absence. For the past month or so I’ve been struggling with the decision to cut loose from Zenzeroni Xystarch II. I wanted to prove that kickers could be just as useful as any other position; alas, my stats were consistently behind the curve in nearly every metric compared to my peers. I really wanted to get into the HOF and it increasingly looked like I was never going to reach it.
Perhaps I’m giving up too early. There is still plenty of time before the S44 class hits regression, after all. But I feared that waiting that long to retire a player I had no enjoyment playing anymore would diminish my enjoyment of the rest of the league and this wonderful community. Better too early than too late.
I also wanted to say that yes I will be leaving, and no I will not be recreating, and no I will not be returning to the league. The recent onslaught of media writers that think it is funny to ridicule and laugh at me is no joke to me. I tried my best to defend myself but no one would stand up for me. This league is meant for fun and that is the exact opposite of what they have done.
I want to thank the Yellowknife GMs and all my teammates that I have let down but I am confident you can replace me. Much love to most of the ISFL catch you on the flip side.
Signing out of the ISFL,
lock180”
Imagine the chaos that would have ensued had this been published alone. It would have been the perfect exclamation point on The Year of The Joker. But to its credit, I’ve never been able to control the monster I have created so it would make sense that the season didn’t end how I wanted it to.
P.S. You may recognize some of these words if you are a grizzled veteran as this is a near identical retirement message from Morgan Marshall’s retirement speech made by none other than Baron1898 (how funny would it have been if I had pretended to retire using Baron’s speech?!). But with that joke out the window, I have resorted to posting what could have been.
The Victims and Plot Lines of The Year of the Joker
The whole premise of the Year of the Joker was to cause chaos throughout the league. Make this season as crazy, weird, fun, exciting, stupid, dumb, and chaotic as possible. This was done in so many different ways.
As mentioned earlier, caleb.grim’s article made him the first victim of The Year of the Joker because of his ill advised placement of the Wraiths with his cute little dominator rankings. He would, of course, be proven wrong.
Then it was the Yeti who became victims of not only a loss to the Wraiths, but an attempted coup to get a name change. Bigfeet? No. Abominable Snowmen? No. Sasquatch? No. Losers? Ah yes, that’s the one. The Yeti had to deal with a revolution happening within their own team. All the more chaos as Zenzeroni and the Wraiths slipped by unnoticed.
After that was possibly my favorite part of The Year of the Joker, the fantasy football takeover. What started as a singular man by the name of lock180 spawned a plethora of copycats all looking to become the man, the myth, the legend lock180 himself. It showed that I could use my power and influence to manipulate the league to do my bidding. It was just a matter of when to use this power on a larger scale.
The next victims were the poor souls who had to witness the first meeting between the Wraiths and Sarasota. Tuba had hacked the system. How? I’m not sure but he warned everyone pregame that he had found a way to hack the system and give Yellowknife a huge advantage. Everything’s fair in The Year of the Joker I suppose. And with his keen hacking abilities, he led Tolliver to nearly 200 rushing yards and two touchdowns. The last place Yellowknife team had come out with a vengeance under the full moon of The Year of the Joker.
The thing about The Year of the Joker is that there is no “right side” there are no “good guys” players and users alike were free to switch sides however they deemed fit and for better or worse. Caleb.grim would be switching back and forth all season long but who doesn’t love an Overreaction Andy that uses fake stats to boost views? Then there’s the whole McGriddy storyline. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Chicago became the next victim of not only The Year of the Joker, but the first victim of Zenzeroni Xystarch II who scored three field goals on the way to a victory over his former teammate Triceracop.
Due to the chaotic nature of The Year of the Joker, losses were bound to happen but one special one led by Thor Dangerson caused Zenzeroni and the rest of the team to suspend him and confine him to the walls of Zen’s Za Italian Pizzeria (we are expanding into the pasta industry very soon!). This seemed to work but there was another part of this plan that was put in motion.
Tyler One, a strong safety for the Otters, was traded over to Yellowknife to shore up a weak secondary. And it worked. Yellowknife never put up monster stat numbers but when it counted, when Yellowknife needed something crazy to happen, The Year of the Joker was always there to help them out.
But The Year of the Joker even has surprises for Zenzeroni because this next one would come out of left field. It’s time to talk about the tumultuous relationship with McGriddy10. Things started off well with McGriddy as he was originally number one in lemonoppy’s stock’s game. Seeing this as a chance to benefit, Zenzeroni planted the seeds for McGriddy to purchase Yellowknife stocks and he fell for it just as Zenzeroni hoped. With that assured victory Zenzeroni was happy with himself until he found out McGriddy sold his Yellowknife stocks one game later. As punishment, Zenzeroni called upon The Year of the Joker to smite McGriddy from the stocks leaderboard, and no sooner had he called upon the Gods above than McGriddy began falling down the rankings and by the end of the season, was nowhere to be seen.
Next up is one of many slanderous articles attacking the Zenzeroni name this one in regards to the best rookie kicker season ever. The article collects the top 15 kickers via points scored and Zenzeroni happened to be 16th in that category despite having a better season than many of those listed. Chaos and anger didn’t just touch those around The Year of the Joker, sometimes it struck home.
Then we have the faceoff of all faceoffs: the 22nd overall pick vs the 23rd overall pick. The Berlin Fire Salamander vs the Yellowknife Wraith. Golden Foote vs Zenzeroni Xystarch II. Zenzeroni, fueled by the Year of the Joker easily surpassed Golden Foote winning not only the battle between each other but the war as Yellowknife was victorious.
We go snail racing next with Baron successfully defeating me in a best 2 out of 3 showdown for the ages. But snail racing as a whole has ushered in new rivalries that have never before been seen and I can’t help but think it has to do with the aurora that The Year of the Joker emits.
The Year of the Joker was to mask other happenings going on in the league and that can be seen in the game against Chicago. Zenzeroni missed a go ahead field goal with 19 seconds left in the game to force an overtime that saw the Yellowknife Wraiths Quarterback gain confidence and throw a 58 yard game winning touchdown.
Next up is the Heck HO Movement which saw newfound traction thanks to some of the more vocal rookies in the league. It was so hard to keep up with the hate HO was drawing due to the sheer number of posts against them. No bigger decision was hated more than the punishment that was dished out to Kansas City. The punishment would be appealed and accepted but the Year of the Joker was clearly beginning to take a life of its own.
Now, it’s time to talk about the meat and potatoes of The Year of the Joker because it is time to talk about the media drama. There was a lot of creative media this season. Usually, the league is filled with stats (which, don’t get me wrong I love) and misses fun creative storylines. But the rookies have brought it this season and I’d like to think it was due to The Year of the Joker. From The Daily Prophet to the DogHouse to the Weekly Mirror there was always something to sink your teeth into. It kept the discord (and discourse) active and led to new rivalries never before seen.
Shakespeare reared his ugly head trying to infiltrate the ISFL. I wasn’t having any of it and neither was The Year of the Joker. Shakespeare deserves to be left in the past or if I have to listen to Shakespeare at least make him a rapper and modernize it or something. Actually don’t do that either. Just forget about him.
Getting sleep drunk while writing an article is never a good idea and that has never been more clear in the penultimate Joker article “To Win or Not to Win” in which the rambling rants I go on went even more off the rails than usual.
Lemonoppy enters the fray attacking kickers multiple times first comparing an “anonymous kicker” to NFL kickers coming to the conclusion that the mystery kicker should not be getting paid as much as he is and in fact requesting he be fired.
*That mystery kicker was likely Zenzeroni Xystarch II
But he wasn’t done yet because he exposed Zen’s Za Italian Pizzeria’s reviews for the whole world to see and Zenzeroni was forced to do damage control and respond to the customer complaints. (Zen’s Za is a wonderful place to eat with great food and free entertainment!)
Next, we have Xenos’ ongoing sacrificial ritual of sacrificing goats before games. Xenos started to run out of goats toward the end of the season but has recently found a secret stash that Yellowknife hopes can carry them to one last victory.
Tomato and his crazy food takes are next on the docket. From ranch and rice to ketchup and spaghetti and everything else in between, the ISFL quickly learned that Tomato must be an alien from outer space because his food takes correlates with absolutely no one here on Earth.
Finally, we arrive at the man who created this whole thing in the first place. Missing 75% of field goals was certainly a strategy created by a mad man. But that mad man’s plan ended up bringing his team all the way to the Ultimus. Two game winning kicks with multiple long distance kicks were required of him in the clutch and he made every single one that mattered. Tactical misses are part of his game and The Year of the Joker helped him show that you need more than just skill to win games.
The Year of the Joker concludes with surprising the creator of the whole thing by leading Yellowknife to two overtime victories in the playoffs. Unexpected for everyone including the creator The Year of the Joker exceeded expectations. It brought new life to a weakened creative media scene and changed the entire dynamic of how the game of ISFL is played. Love it or hate it, The Year of the Joker was a resounding success. I don’t know what the next theme will be but with every villain is a hero and someone will have to take the mantle to stop the madness before it gets too far out of hand.
A Lasting Impact
At the time of writing this, I don’t know the result of the Ultimus but that was never the point of making The Year of the Joker. I’ve got 175 million dollars on the line but if I lose it, it was money well spent. The Year of the Joker is a moment in time, a moment in history. You won’t be able to talk about season 46 without bringing it up in some form. Whether it’s the Heck HO movement, media drama, Caleb.grim, the Yeti, Tomato’s crazy food takes, or anything else I mentioned in this article. This season was defined by one thing:
ME
The truth of all of this is that I have learned that I am the main character. Over the past week, more articles and discord talk have surrounded topics about myself than about the ISFL itself. Within four seasons of joining the league, I have taken complete control without holding a significant job or position. THAT is the reality that all of you are living in. You can decide not to read my media but it is impossible to talk about the ISFL without mentioning the name Zenzeroni Xystarch II.
A Thank You to the League
I’m a cynical son of a bitch as you can tell from my media so I wanted to take some time to genuinely thank some people that I normally rip apart on Discord and through my media.
First off to the big guys up top. Some people may genuinely hate you and their “Heck HO” movement may be real but not for me. Thanks for keeping this show on the road.
Second, thank you to all the graphic and card makers, and anyone currently holding a job in this league. Volunteering time out of your day to do any of the above is something I have mad respect for and I’m thankful we have so many wonderful community members willing to stick their heads out for the good of the league.
Now let’s get into some users, and who to start with first? Hmmmmm
It has to be my Yellowknife teammate and partner in crime Thor Dangerson (@homercrates). I may have been the second kicker drafted off the board but it brought me into close contact with Thor Dangerson who makes the locker room, game chats, and so much more a blast to be a part of. When I write my long form articles I go under the assumption that no one will read the whole thing. But this man reads every single word which humbles me beyond belief. I don’t think you understand how good that feels to have someone read your work so I want to THANK YOU a million times over. He is also a talented graphic artist who made my signature that I love to show off so much.
A surprise entrant at number two as I must thank my number one fan for being, well, my number one fan! Through thick and thin Walter (@WalterYensid) has stood by me with his MVP chants as loud as ever despite my recent short comings. Whenever I’m down on myself I can always look to Walter to cheer me up.
Next up is Baron (@Baron1898) who as many of you know, is my mortal enemy even more so than some other people I will mention later. I mean I wrote a 3? 4? (I already forget) part series on her entire history and am even blatantly plagiarizing much of her Morgan Marshall speech but that shows how influential she has been to me and my media. But more importantly, her allowing me to do what I do day in and day out slandering her name, plagiarizing her work, and so much more is what makes her THE best user in the league. She ran so I could walk. She’s the goat and this is the ONLY time I am going to say that.
Also glad you had a change of heart and that you actually think I'm the best person in the world
![[Image: INiyFEY.png]](https://i.imgur.com/INiyFEY.png)
Next up give a round of applause for the outspoken Tuba Deus (@TubaDeus) who seems to do it all. Despite trying to get me to change positions (multiple times) he is also an amazing GM. Plus he drafted me so he’s clearly doing something right.
I guess we can talk about lemonoppy (@lemonoppy) next. Lemonoppy is another guy who can do it all. I mostly see him in the media and stats fields and that is where he shines the brightest. I thank him and the rest of the media team for putting up with my media bullshit despite how terrible it may be. You are lucky you wrote your slanderous article when you did.....
I’m going to group all of the season 44 class together because they are what first really hooked me into this league. From @Crazytomatos crazy food takes and betting, to Bumford (@Bamford13) the GM, to my original teammates over in Bondi Beach Triceracop (@fireyheart) and @Tmoney6996. Then you have @OrangeJulius, @captainsb, and @DL14 all making for such an engaging and fun class to be a part of. Without all of you, I wouldn’t be nearly as into the ISFL as I have been over the past four seasons.
Next, we have the media series rookies to talk about. The Daily Prophet I am least familiar with so I will start with @shahdude first. Thank you for being the first to confront the Weekly Mirror and thank you for putting out solid content. @Brad Woof may be the best series for unbiased information and is always a treat to read.
But when it is all said and done @griis and @jreed12 you two hold a special place in my heart. I may only be a season or two older than the both of you. But the fire that you two have is exactly how I was/am when I first joined the league and started writing articles. And to finally have some competition in what I would call the “creative space of villainy” has always been the goal. So I’m happy we could have our moment of drama together and am excited for the direction that you, Brad, and shadude go in next because wherever you go next, I’m sure it will be fire.
The last person I want to thank is @McGriddy10. Say hi to your girlfriend for me and please look up the word “humble” because I REALLY don’t think you understand the meaning of it.
And to anyone I missed, I apologize. I tried to get in as many names as possible but the ISFL community is so big that I can't thank everyone individually. Just know that I am so happy to be involved in this wonderful league and be able to interact with all of you every day.
With all of this being said, there is a reason I am saying all of these thank you’s and I do have some news to inform you all of. I will be retiring. Not from this league, nor my player. As mentioned at the beginning of the article I will be taking a step back from media for the foreseeable future. Got real life and other things to deal with (all good things don’t worry) but as mentioned in my thank you’s, This league is in good hands as far as media is concerned. And you may be losing the most villainous, evil, cynical, long form writers in the league but with all of this new media from these youngsters and veterans alike, there is plenty of top tier media to consume. With that, I bid you all adieu, the media king will return eventually, and when he does, who knows what shenanigans he will get up to mwahahahahahahahahahahaahaha
Your favorite writer signing off for now.
Stay saucy my friends
- Zenzeroni Xystarch II
RE: The Joker's Last Dance - Baron1898 - 03-08-2024
wait no lock if you stop writing who will slander my name
RE: The Joker's Last Dance - caleb.grim - 03-08-2024
@lock180, you deserve a thank you as well. Your shenanigans have brought so much life to the league and your media always was entertaining. I appreciate the time you spent putting this together (which was a lot I’m sure) and I’ll be looking forward to a time when you start writing again!
RE: The Joker's Last Dance - lock180 - 03-09-2024
(03-08-2024, 09:05 PM)caleb.grim Wrote: @lock180, you deserve a thank you as well. Your shenanigans have brought so much life to the league and your media always was entertaining. I appreciate the time you spent putting this together (which was a lot I’m sure) and I’ll be looking forward to a time when you start writing again!
I appreciate it! I look forward to continuing to read all of your amazing work although you're lucky I'm not going to be around to take those Gemini's away from you anymore
RE: The Joker's Last Dance - TubaDeus - 03-09-2024
Now that's my GOAT kicker!
RE: The Joker's Last Dance - lemonoppy - 03-09-2024
I make fun of you one time and you run away to your accounting ledgers, shameful.
Been amazing seeing your writing, glad to have been a small part of what you were able to create here.