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+--- Thread: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 (/showthread.php?tid=50527)
*THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - Brad Woof - 03-27-2024
MEDIA MOGUL MISSTEP? MALIGNED MIRROR MANAGER MAKES MYSTERIOUS MONEY!
A strange bonus paid out from Berlin to their DT and ISFL Weekly Mirror Senior Correspondent D’Jasper Probincrux IV (@jreed12) has the ISFL and our readership scratching their heads. The Weekly Mirror and its executive team is no stranger to controversy; in their brief, single season existence as a publication the league has seen the hiring and firing of several low-level staffers and interns, an all-out media war with Yellowknife Wraiths K Zenzeroni Xystarch II (@lock180), and even a brief prison sentence for Mr. Probincrux IV, handed out by ISFL Head Office and the Simulation Bureau of Investigation. The SBI charged Mr. Probincrux with eight sealed charges and removed him from his office in a bureau helicopter. At the time the fanfare seemed like it would be the end of the Mirror, but Mr. Probincrux returned from his shortened sentence with renewed vigor and continued the growing feud.
In more recent weeks, the Mirror and Mr. Probincrux have been the target of some league ire stemming from a handful of allegations of impropriety from some of our own insider league sources, as well as an open letter from San Jose SaberCats S Mega Tron (@McGriddy10) entitled ISFL Truth Part 1. Tron’s announcement echoed the sentiment of other recently “fired” Weekly Mirror interns and junior correspondents: namely, their unfair treatment and payment. Tron alleges, like Mr. Xystarch, that Mr. Probincrux and Honolulu Hahalua DT Leo Simon Schwartz (@griis) are underpaying their staff at the Mirror and keeping the lion’s share of the profits for themselves. Mr. Tron and Mr. Xystarch also accuse the Mirror of manipulating the information in their stories for maximum impact and sometimes even fabricating them. A public records request reveals that the payment information provided by Mr. Tron and Mr. Xystarch is accurate, but their other allegations are difficult to prove.
Things may be about to get worse for D’Jasper “JGreed” Probincrux IV and the Mirror however as Doghouse investigative reporters have discovered an irregular entry in the Berlin Fire Salamander’s book-keeping: an extra-contractual bonus paid out to Mr. Probincrux in the amount of $3.5 million. The notes on the transaction call the one-time payment a “Bonus for being great”. Bonuses from ISFL teams are usually noted in the player’s contract details and team budget sheets, but this “bonus” is mysteriously absent. Could this payment be an attempt at circumventing the rookie contract and salary cap requirements of ISFL teams? If so, why? The allegations against Mr. Probincrux would have us believe that he is quite motivated by money, but how would he get his team’s cooperation in this?
Mr. Probincrux claims the bonus speaks for itself, even as he was quick with the whataboutism: “My kind GM, Mr. Dewalt agreed to give me a bonus for my work scouting and keeping numbers on our spreadsheet this offseason. I would look into all the bonuses Icebear (@IceBear32) pays out to his players on the regular, they’re a frequent occurrence over at Honolulu.” We believe, as everyone should, that hard work deserves fair and respectful pay, but where has the league drawn the line? Scouts and bookkeepers are not generally paid positions in the ISFL. Is Berlin exploiting a loophole to get one of its stars some extra money? Why blame Honolulu for doing the same thing if the whole operation was above board? The bad optics of providing a bonus to an embattled media persona with a reputation for greed also shouldn’t be understated. Regardless, Mr. Probincrux was unfazed. “I can assure you there is no foul play intended, merely an act of kindness.”
It would seem Mr. Probincrux was wrong.
The Doghouse reached out to Berlin GM Dewalt (@Dewalt27) expecting radio silence, but was instead gifted a bombshell statement. Apparently the bonus slipped into Probincrux’s coffers behind his back. “We paid D’Jasper a bonus? What the heck would we do that for?” Dewalt exclaimed loudly over the phone. “Isn’t his only accomplishment being on the rookie team because there were only 3 DTs? I don’t remember making a transaction nor would I pay them a bonus.”
Mr. Dewalt’s signature does appear on the bonus check, which raises a number of damning questions. Was the signature forged by another member of Berlin leadership or perhaps Probincrux himself? Who would go out of their way to assist Probincrux in this alleged fraud? If not forged, how was the transaction hidden from Dewalt and simultaneously able to get his sign-off? Why would Mr. Probincrux be so confident regarding something so easily fact-checked? A mystery remains in Fire Salamanders’ locker room, centered around Probincrux and yet another attempt to fill his bank account.
It remains to be seen whether or not ISFL Head Office will wade into this matter or leave it to the discretion of Berlin to handle. Fraud at this level is not exactly unprecedented in ISFL history, but an allegation such as this is still sure to draw plenty of unwanted attention to the league. On top of these newest allegations, Mr. Probincrux’s less than stellar history and reputation are sure to work against him here if Berlin does decide to press charges or pursue punishment. We are confident that his many detractors across the league would celebrate that decision.
Even with its various controversies, the Weekly Mirror has become a staple of league journalism. Should Probincrux face severe penalties, its existence would surely be put in jeopardy. “Good. I’m tired of their lies and attempts to ruin media as we know it,” one player offered when asked about the possibility. Another player who asked to be quoted as Anonymouse said, “Their horrible injustices against Saint McGriddy have left a terrible taste in my mouth, and surely many others." Vitriol aside, it would open up a premiere spot for a new league news source to take its place. Tim Riggins’ Daily Prophet or the new joint Higbee/Strong venture WHAT’S YAPPENING?! could be poised for a boost in readership.
ISFL HO has so far not responded to our request for comment. As always, look to The Doghouse for updates to this developing story.
RE: THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - lemonoppy - 03-27-2024
How does the Mirror pay their interns? By siphoning money from the Fire Salamander bank account!
RE: THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - wetwilleh - 03-27-2024
(03-27-2024, 12:26 PM)lemonoppy Wrote: How does the Mirror pay their interns? By siphoning money from the Fire Salamander bank account!Blasphemy! They don't pay their interns at all!!
RE: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - Bamford13 - 03-27-2024
Great investigation as always
RE: THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - Bamford13 - 03-27-2024
(03-27-2024, 12:31 PM)wetwilleh Wrote:I can confirm that we do get paid, just not a lot(03-27-2024, 12:26 PM)lemonoppy Wrote: How does the Mirror pay their interns? By siphoning money from the Fire Salamander bank account!Blasphemy! They don't pay their interns at all!!
RE: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - jreed12 - 03-27-2024
Completely false and unsubstantiated claims Dewalt!!!!! The ISFL Weekly Mirror shall seek justice!!!!!
RE: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - shahdude - 03-27-2024
media wars are so back
RE: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - griis - 03-27-2024
(03-27-2024, 12:24 PM)Brad Woof Wrote: the Weekly Mirror has become a staple of league journalism
didn't really read the article but thank you for the accolade!
RE: *THE DOGHOUSE Vol. 11 - lock180 - 03-27-2024
White collar crime is the easiest form of crime to get away with. Even if you get found guilty the punishment is likely to be less than the amount received. Jreed knows what he is doing. Always has always will.
Don't spend all that money in one place jreed!