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+---- Thread: *McGavin commits another season to SJS (/showthread.php?tid=51781)
*McGavin commits another season to SJS - ajtigger - 06-25-2024
Over the course of his career, Booter McGavin has made it clear that he wants to go down in history as the man with the most punt yards in the ISFL. Booter needed 8000 yards to catch the current leader, King, over what was expected to be his final two seasons. This season Booter only managed 3600 punting yards which is leading to rampant speculation that he might leave the San Jose Sabercats to join a team that may provide him with more punting opportunities. Following San Jose's crushing playoff defeat to Arizona, Booter called a press conference to quash these rumors.
"I am going to start this off nice and easy and say I will be returning to San Jose next season so you all can stop writing those pieces about me leaving this wonderful city. This decision was one I made solely based on the love I have for my fans and the love they have for me. The people who come out and watch me every week deserve to see me chase that record right here in San Jose. I will do everything to keep booming that ball for them and their unwavering support.
Now of course if I am going to reach this record, I am going to need some cooperation from my teammates in that locker room, because obviously whatever the hell we did last season did not work out for my numbers.
I will start with the positives of the last season and give a massive shout-out to my defense. They went out there and got the ball back pretty quickly for me to have more opportunities to punt it. Now obviously they could do a better job by not intercepting the ball in the opponent's half of the field, or even just letting the offense score immediately but hey not everyone can be perfect like me.
As for the offense, what a dreadful display, we got to do better. We had way too many first downs, touchdowns, and field goal attempts this season. Plus that running game chewed up so much damn clock that it seemed like I was never going to get an opportunity to punt. We need some more three and outs next year or hell maybe we should look into punting it on first down. Whatever we do stop the nonsense of getting to midfield and punting. It is hard to boom the damn ball when you are only giving me like 50 yards to work with.
So yeah as I said, I am staying here in San Jose because I think if we just make the adjustments I laid out I can cruise to this record. It's not about how far I am going to punt it, because we know it's going far, instead it's about how many times I get to punt the ball.
So that's why I called you here, any questions?"
While the San Jose media has become accustomed to Booter's insane level of selfishness over the past 11 seasons, this latest tirade seemed to have shocked the media. As a result, only one question was able to be asked of Booter.
"Hi Booter, I am John Williams for the San Jose Times, I just got to ask why not go to a team that already is performing worse than San Jose so that you will get the opportunities you seem to so desperately crave?"
"Well John, the answer is simple, at this point in my career I am spending more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff. So I want to stay near a place I can get plenty of sun to keep my tan on. This beautiful face and pair of legs needs to keep nice and bronze for all of my modeling contracts and other endorsement deals."
"So it has nothing at all to do with the fans as you previously stated?"
"Well the fans will always enjoy my greatness but no, overall those people can just go back to their damn shanties, Booter out."
RE: McGavin commits another season to SJS - scudmuffin19 - 06-25-2024
Wellerman top tier sea shanty.