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+---- Thread: *channel 5 interview part 2 (/showthread.php?tid=5903)
*channel 5 interview part 2 - Waters - 11-06-2017
RDRJ3: Hello Channel 5 news. Today I am poor so I came to work to interview Las Vegas Legion quarterback Wallace Stone! Hello Wendell, how are you this fine morning? Excuse me for the mistake, Wallace.
WS: Hi Wooters, I am fine, thank you.
RDRJ3: Excuse me, you must have the wrong person, this is Robert-David-Ronald Johnson III, interviewer for channel 5 news.
WS: no interview
RDRJ3: Wallace, your agent allowed me this exclusive interview.
WS: I don't have an agent.
RDRJ3: I don't understand how this has happened for the second time in a row. If you have no agent, who is Larry Gerber? He is the man I contacted.
WS: Guess you got scammed.
RDRJ3: Well, Wallace, I'd still love to do an interview with you. After switching to quarterback, you recently lost 100 pounds. Do you have weight-loss advice for your fans at home?
WS: Only eat pork.
RDRJ3: What health benefits does eating pork have?
WS: There are no veggies to fatten you up.
RDRJ3: Of course. Well, how has the transition to quarterback gone? You must be having difficulties considering you have never played the position in your career.
WS: I like to throw balls, so its going well.
RDRJ3: Thank you for that incredibly in-depth answer Wallace, I definitely appreciate it. How do you see this season going, and where do you go from there to turn around the franchise that has been the Las Vegas Legion?
WS: I don't understand the question, it's too long. Could you rephrase please?
RDRJ3: Of course. Las Vegas bad, do you think they good? If no, what need for good?
WS: No they not bad, I mean, we suck but we aren't bad, we have a fast player there I throw the ball often, Lalumière I think? Zoommmm fast, he got red shoes.
RDRJ3: And how do the red shoes help his game?
WS: A peasant girl named Karen is adopted by a rich old lady after her mother's death and grows up vain and spoiled. Before her adoption, Karen had a rough pair of red shoes; now she has her adoptive mother buy her a pair of red shoes fit for a princess. Karen is so enamored of her new shoes that she wears them to church, but the old lady scolds her: it's highly improper and she must only wear black shoes in church from now on. But next Sunday, Karen cannot resist the urge to put the red shoes on again. As she is about to enter the church, she meets a mysterious old soldier with a red beard. "Oh, what beautiful shoes for dancing," the soldier says. "Never come off when you dance," he tells the shoes, and he taps the sole of each with his hand. After church, Karen cannot resist taking a few dance steps, and off she goes, as though the shoes controlled her, but she finally manages to take them off. One day, after her adoptive mother becomes ill, Karen leaves her alone and goes off to a ball in town in her red shoes. She begins to dance, but this time the shoes won't come off. They continue to dance, night and day, rain or shine, through fields and meadows, and through brambles and briers that tear at Karen's limbs. She can't even attend her adoptive mother's funeral. An angel appears to her, bearing a sword, and condemns her to dance even after she dies, as a warning to vain children everywhere. Karen begs for mercy but the red shoes take her away before she hears the angel's reply. Karen finds an executioner and asks him to chop off her feet. He does so but the shoes continue to dance, even with Karen's amputated feet inside them. The executioner gives her a pair of wooden feet and crutches, and teaches her the criminals' psalm.
Thinking that she has suffered enough for the red shoes, Karen decides to go to church so people can see her. Yet her amputated feet, still in the red shoes, dance before her, barring the way. The following Sunday she tries again, thinking she is at least as good as the others in church, but again the dancing red shoes bar the way. Karen gets a job as a maid in the parsonage, but when Sunday comes she dares not go to church. Instead she sits alone at home and prays to God for help. The angel reappears, now bearing a spray of roses, and gives Karen the mercy she asked for: her heart becomes so filled with sunshine, peace, and joy that it bursts. Her soul flies on sunshine to Heaven, where no one mentions the red shoes.
RDRJ3: Excuse me?
WS: What?
RDRJ3: Wallace, who is Karen? What is this story about?
WS: Who's Karen?
RDRJ3: Ok, well that concludes this interview, thank you very much for speaking with me Wallace!
WS: No problem, never speak to me or my son ever again. I am not very eloquent.
500 words without the copypasta from the danish story or w/e
GRADED
*channel 5 interview part 2 - Ben - 11-06-2017
Always my fav media
*channel 5 interview part 2 - HalfEatenOnionBagel - 11-06-2017
Fun fact: Despite the fact that Larry Gerber has grown up to be a con man, his step uncle, Bebé Gerber, heir to the Gerber fortune, invented the first ever simulation football. No, not the game itself; the actual ball. Of course back then it looked a lot more like a basketball. It was only one pixel and was bright orange! Thank goodness for the high definition textures and graphics we have today so that despite all that action on screen, you never lose sight of that pixelated pigskin
*channel 5 interview part 2 - Waters - 11-06-2017
(11-06-2017, 08:26 PM)HalfEatenOnionBagel Wrote:Fun fact: Despite the fact that Larry Gerber has grown up to be a con man, his step uncle, Bebé Gerber, heir to the Gerber fortune, invented the first ever simulation football. No, not the game itself; the actual ball. Of course back then it looked a lot more like a basketball. It was only one pixel and was bright orange! Thank goodness for the high definition textures and graphics we have today so that despite all that action on screen, you never lose sight of that pixelated pigskinyou're a beautiful man