09-03-2019, 05:19 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-14-2019, 05:10 PM by goodvsevil1275.)
DSFL Breakdown and Big Questions
Cherith Cutestory
Senior Fascist Writer
We are now four games deep into the DSFL season and there has been plenty of buzz around the league. With the addition of the large and volatile S18 class, fans and front offices alike had been waiting with baited breath to see what would emerge from the new season and the results have been…well entertaining if nothing else. As it currently stands, the DSFL is divided between two distinct groups. The first includes the “Good” teams (Portland, San Antonio, Tijuana) that are actively competing for the Ultimini and have been producing some fantastic play on the field. The second includes the “Very Very Bad” teams (Palm Beach, Norfolk, Kansas City) that have looked just awful out there and have point differentials (the best of which is Palm Beach’s -60) to show for it. Yet despite this massive gap in competence and production, across all teams there have been players that have stood out and look to be laying the groundwork for future NSFL stardom.
Below I will be discussing the performance of both the offense and defense of each DSFL team as well as big questions that lay ahead. Order will be based on record alone and should not be treated as power rankings.
Portland Pythons (4-0)
Offense
394 yards per game (1st) 35.8 points per game (2nd)
The Python’s offense is nothing short of excellent. In a league where rushing is king, their committee of running backs has produced the number one rushing attack. Their passing game is not to be trifled with either despite their quarterback, Jay Cue, being merely above average. Wide receiver Saba Donut is number one in the league in both yards and YPC with no signs of slowing down. To top it all off, their offensive line has allowed only a single sack so far this season. Overall, Portland’s offense is explosive with essentially no weaknesses and should continue to rampage across the league as the season continues.
Defense
229.8 yards per game (1st) 7.3! points per game (1st)
Utter dominance. That is the only way to describe Portland’s defense which has surrendered only 29 points so far this season. To put that in perspective, San Antonio’s second best defense has given up 75. They also lead the league in both turnovers and defensive touchdowns and have undeniably talented players, including defensive tackle Trae Bacon and safety AC Payton. There is no question that Portland’s defense is championship caliber and they should continue to destroy the paltry offenses in their conference.
Big Question
Can the Pythons sustain this level of play, produce a historic season, and win it all?
San Antonio Marshals (3-1)
Offense
360.8 yards per game (3rd) 35.8 points per game (1st)
Another strong offense. The Marshals have a devastating one-two punch with their running backs Mathias Hanyadi and Ruff Ruff. Ruff Ruff alone leads the league in touchdowns with 7. San Antonio’s quarterback, Jim McMahon, may throw a few too many picks to be considered truly elite but is first amongst all starting quarterbacks in completion percentage. He is supported by wide receiver Tyrone Biggums who has a case for being the best at his position in the DSFL. It is also worth noting that their offensive line leads the league the pancakes despite only being average in pass protection.
Defense
355.8 yards per game (2nd) 18.8 points per game (2nd)
San Antonio also has a well-balanced and competitive defense. They may be closer to Portland’s defense than meets the eye as they have faced an actually competitive team while the Pythons have feasted on bottom feeders. A big part of their success is their pass rush which leads the league in sacks and features defensive end Mike Franchet who himself is tied for first in sacks amongst all DSFL players. They also feature an elite ballhawk in cornerback Louisiana Purchase, who is tied for first in interceptions.
Big Question
Are the Marshals held back by being in the more difficult conference and are actually even better than we think?
Tijuana Luchadores (3-1)
Offense
378.0 yards per game (2nd) 29.3 points per game (3rd)
MVP candidate Ducky Donut leads this offense with both the second most rushing yards and second most rushing touchdowns in the league. Quarterback Jordan McCann III also contributes with a very respectable completion percentage and total yardage. He is protected by an excellent offensive line, featuring the elite Brave Ulysses, that is in the conversation with Portland for best in the league.
Defense
360.0 yards per game (4th) 20.5 points per game (3rd)
Tijuana also has a great defense although it is a bit of a step down from San Antonio’s in terms of impact. Part of this is due to a lack of balance as Tijuana has the worst pass defense in the league despite leading in interceptions. When a team is giving up more yards in the air than Norfolk and Palm Beach you know that there are some issues to work out. Still their defense is certainly enough to keep the team as a whole in contention, particularly given the contributions of standouts Kassel, Wozniak, and Beckham.
Big Question
Can the pass defense improve?
Norfolk SeaWolves (1-3)
Offense
282.0 yards per game (6th) 14.3 points per game (5th)
The first and perhaps worst of our “Very Very Bad” teams. Due to the inconsistent play of their controversial quarterback Gimmy Jaroppolo, the SeaWolves have focused their entire offense around MVP candidate Marcella T?riki. She currently leads the league in rushing although also has 33 more carries than the next highest running back. Whether or not this strategy will lead to wins is certainly questionable, but for the time being T?riki is the undisputed queen of this offense. Starting week five, Norfolk will be starting Johnson Harding at quarterback and will be looking to add more to their passing game. He will be protected by an offensive line that, while not spectacular, features some talented players like Samuel Bakhtiari and Maximus Chungus.
Defense
382.5 yards per game (6th) 35.0 points per game (6th)
With the worst defense in the league by most metrics, Norfolk is hemorrhaging points at a disastrous level. With big name players like first overall pick Bjørn Ironside, the defense is not devoid of talent yet just cannot seem to piece anything together. The SeaWolves will need to figure out their problems quickly if they hope to make a push for the playoffs.
Big Question
Will the Harding addition be enough to elevate the offense out of the Gimmy crater?
Kansas City Coyotes (1-3)
Offense
301.0 yards per game (5th) 13.8 points per game (6th)
Another team with a great deal of difficulty passing the ball. Quarterback Jay Longshaw has a completion percentage that is only a hair above Gimmy's and has thrown more interceptions than anyone. If not for the spectacular play of elite wide receiver Dexter Banks III, Kansas City might not have any passing game at all. Rushing duties are split between two solid players in Michael Vincent and Orien Drake who do the best they can keeping things afloat. They receive little support from an offensive line that has surrendered seven sacks and has the lowest number of pancakes in the league.
Defense
373.5 yards per game (5th) 32.3 points per game (5th)
While certainly not phenomenal, Kansas City's defense does have a couple things going for it. First, despite their overall poor performance, they do have the league's second best pass defense by yardage. Second, they have an electric pair of young linebackers in Net Gaines and likely DPOTY Maurice Virtanen. These two have put up a staggering 105 tackles in four games along with two sacks. With their talent and leadership, it is not out of the question to see the Coyote's defense improve drastically over the course of the season.
Big Question
Can the Coyotes improve upon their rushing defense and make a claim on the fourth seed?
Palm Beach Solar Bears (0-4)
Offense
342.8 yards per game (4th) 14.3 points per game (4th)
Despite being better than Norfolk and Palm Beach on offense, there are still glaring issues on the Solar Bears. Quarterback Phil Helmet leads the league in passing yards but has Gimmy-esque accuracy and interception issues. It is hard to find fault with him considering that his offensive line, which has surrendered 10 sacks already, might be the worst in the league. Charles Allan and Jake Utler have split rushing duties and performed admirably despite these conditions. Perhaps with some changes on the offensive line to alleviate the pressure on the skill positions Palm Beach could separate itself from Norfolk and Kansas City even more.
Defense
357.0 points yards per game (3rd) 29.3 points per game (4th)
While not elite, the Solar Bears have a solid defense that has been particularly productive when it comes to forcing fumbles and tackling for losses. They are led by supremely underrated linebacker Matt Ammons, who is second in tackles and first in forced fumbles. While he will not likely win DPOTY due to the existence of Virtanen, he is one of the premier talents on defense in the league.
Big Question
Can the Solar Bears separate themselves and prove to the league that they are a tier above Norfolk and Kansas City?
Word Count: 1,563
Cherith Cutestory
Senior Fascist Writer
We are now four games deep into the DSFL season and there has been plenty of buzz around the league. With the addition of the large and volatile S18 class, fans and front offices alike had been waiting with baited breath to see what would emerge from the new season and the results have been…well entertaining if nothing else. As it currently stands, the DSFL is divided between two distinct groups. The first includes the “Good” teams (Portland, San Antonio, Tijuana) that are actively competing for the Ultimini and have been producing some fantastic play on the field. The second includes the “Very Very Bad” teams (Palm Beach, Norfolk, Kansas City) that have looked just awful out there and have point differentials (the best of which is Palm Beach’s -60) to show for it. Yet despite this massive gap in competence and production, across all teams there have been players that have stood out and look to be laying the groundwork for future NSFL stardom.
Below I will be discussing the performance of both the offense and defense of each DSFL team as well as big questions that lay ahead. Order will be based on record alone and should not be treated as power rankings.
Portland Pythons (4-0)
Offense
394 yards per game (1st) 35.8 points per game (2nd)
The Python’s offense is nothing short of excellent. In a league where rushing is king, their committee of running backs has produced the number one rushing attack. Their passing game is not to be trifled with either despite their quarterback, Jay Cue, being merely above average. Wide receiver Saba Donut is number one in the league in both yards and YPC with no signs of slowing down. To top it all off, their offensive line has allowed only a single sack so far this season. Overall, Portland’s offense is explosive with essentially no weaknesses and should continue to rampage across the league as the season continues.
Defense
229.8 yards per game (1st) 7.3! points per game (1st)
Utter dominance. That is the only way to describe Portland’s defense which has surrendered only 29 points so far this season. To put that in perspective, San Antonio’s second best defense has given up 75. They also lead the league in both turnovers and defensive touchdowns and have undeniably talented players, including defensive tackle Trae Bacon and safety AC Payton. There is no question that Portland’s defense is championship caliber and they should continue to destroy the paltry offenses in their conference.
Big Question
Can the Pythons sustain this level of play, produce a historic season, and win it all?
San Antonio Marshals (3-1)
Offense
360.8 yards per game (3rd) 35.8 points per game (1st)
Another strong offense. The Marshals have a devastating one-two punch with their running backs Mathias Hanyadi and Ruff Ruff. Ruff Ruff alone leads the league in touchdowns with 7. San Antonio’s quarterback, Jim McMahon, may throw a few too many picks to be considered truly elite but is first amongst all starting quarterbacks in completion percentage. He is supported by wide receiver Tyrone Biggums who has a case for being the best at his position in the DSFL. It is also worth noting that their offensive line leads the league the pancakes despite only being average in pass protection.
Defense
355.8 yards per game (2nd) 18.8 points per game (2nd)
San Antonio also has a well-balanced and competitive defense. They may be closer to Portland’s defense than meets the eye as they have faced an actually competitive team while the Pythons have feasted on bottom feeders. A big part of their success is their pass rush which leads the league in sacks and features defensive end Mike Franchet who himself is tied for first in sacks amongst all DSFL players. They also feature an elite ballhawk in cornerback Louisiana Purchase, who is tied for first in interceptions.
Big Question
Are the Marshals held back by being in the more difficult conference and are actually even better than we think?
Tijuana Luchadores (3-1)
Offense
378.0 yards per game (2nd) 29.3 points per game (3rd)
MVP candidate Ducky Donut leads this offense with both the second most rushing yards and second most rushing touchdowns in the league. Quarterback Jordan McCann III also contributes with a very respectable completion percentage and total yardage. He is protected by an excellent offensive line, featuring the elite Brave Ulysses, that is in the conversation with Portland for best in the league.
Defense
360.0 yards per game (4th) 20.5 points per game (3rd)
Tijuana also has a great defense although it is a bit of a step down from San Antonio’s in terms of impact. Part of this is due to a lack of balance as Tijuana has the worst pass defense in the league despite leading in interceptions. When a team is giving up more yards in the air than Norfolk and Palm Beach you know that there are some issues to work out. Still their defense is certainly enough to keep the team as a whole in contention, particularly given the contributions of standouts Kassel, Wozniak, and Beckham.
Big Question
Can the pass defense improve?
Norfolk SeaWolves (1-3)
Offense
282.0 yards per game (6th) 14.3 points per game (5th)
The first and perhaps worst of our “Very Very Bad” teams. Due to the inconsistent play of their controversial quarterback Gimmy Jaroppolo, the SeaWolves have focused their entire offense around MVP candidate Marcella T?riki. She currently leads the league in rushing although also has 33 more carries than the next highest running back. Whether or not this strategy will lead to wins is certainly questionable, but for the time being T?riki is the undisputed queen of this offense. Starting week five, Norfolk will be starting Johnson Harding at quarterback and will be looking to add more to their passing game. He will be protected by an offensive line that, while not spectacular, features some talented players like Samuel Bakhtiari and Maximus Chungus.
Defense
382.5 yards per game (6th) 35.0 points per game (6th)
With the worst defense in the league by most metrics, Norfolk is hemorrhaging points at a disastrous level. With big name players like first overall pick Bjørn Ironside, the defense is not devoid of talent yet just cannot seem to piece anything together. The SeaWolves will need to figure out their problems quickly if they hope to make a push for the playoffs.
Big Question
Will the Harding addition be enough to elevate the offense out of the Gimmy crater?
Kansas City Coyotes (1-3)
Offense
301.0 yards per game (5th) 13.8 points per game (6th)
Another team with a great deal of difficulty passing the ball. Quarterback Jay Longshaw has a completion percentage that is only a hair above Gimmy's and has thrown more interceptions than anyone. If not for the spectacular play of elite wide receiver Dexter Banks III, Kansas City might not have any passing game at all. Rushing duties are split between two solid players in Michael Vincent and Orien Drake who do the best they can keeping things afloat. They receive little support from an offensive line that has surrendered seven sacks and has the lowest number of pancakes in the league.
Defense
373.5 yards per game (5th) 32.3 points per game (5th)
While certainly not phenomenal, Kansas City's defense does have a couple things going for it. First, despite their overall poor performance, they do have the league's second best pass defense by yardage. Second, they have an electric pair of young linebackers in Net Gaines and likely DPOTY Maurice Virtanen. These two have put up a staggering 105 tackles in four games along with two sacks. With their talent and leadership, it is not out of the question to see the Coyote's defense improve drastically over the course of the season.
Big Question
Can the Coyotes improve upon their rushing defense and make a claim on the fourth seed?
Palm Beach Solar Bears (0-4)
Offense
342.8 yards per game (4th) 14.3 points per game (4th)
Despite being better than Norfolk and Palm Beach on offense, there are still glaring issues on the Solar Bears. Quarterback Phil Helmet leads the league in passing yards but has Gimmy-esque accuracy and interception issues. It is hard to find fault with him considering that his offensive line, which has surrendered 10 sacks already, might be the worst in the league. Charles Allan and Jake Utler have split rushing duties and performed admirably despite these conditions. Perhaps with some changes on the offensive line to alleviate the pressure on the skill positions Palm Beach could separate itself from Norfolk and Kansas City even more.
Defense
357.0 points yards per game (3rd) 29.3 points per game (4th)
While not elite, the Solar Bears have a solid defense that has been particularly productive when it comes to forcing fumbles and tackling for losses. They are led by supremely underrated linebacker Matt Ammons, who is second in tackles and first in forced fumbles. While he will not likely win DPOTY due to the existence of Virtanen, he is one of the premier talents on defense in the league.
Big Question
Can the Solar Bears separate themselves and prove to the league that they are a tier above Norfolk and Kansas City?
Word Count: 1,563