06-19-2020, 01:35 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2020, 01:39 PM by Bigred1580.)
Hey all, the season has begun and everyone has completed their Fantasy Drafts, but I thought it would be helpful to rank each player based on the one metric that really matters, player renders… So for this draft I will be looking at all the players eligible for this season’s fantasy drafts and ranking the players based on how well their render would be at their official position. For example, Jadeveon Clowney may be a better football player, but won’t be as good of a kicker. We also have Michael Vick as a WR, Lamar Jackson as an RB, George Kittle as a WR, and Robbie Anderson as a QB. Although I’m sure each of these athletes would still be good in those roles, I doubt they would be top tier. Additionally, I am mostly looking at a player in their prime, since we have a few retired or washed up players, and I am only using longevity of a career as a pseudo tie breaker. Lastly, these are my opinions, or at least my decisions. I may have mixed up the order of a few players with the specific goal of making you mad. If you are wondering who you is… It’s you. Not the other people reading this. But you. You know who you are…
Starting off with QBs. We have a HOFer, Future HOFer, players with solid careers and great potential, busts, a WR, some tool, and a high school anime girl. So, quite a range of prospects.
QB
1. Brock Phoenix - - Peyton Manning
Easy top one on the list. Peyton Manning is considered one of the greatest QBs of all time. He was a two time Super Bowl Champ, and 5 time MVP. He is top 3 all time in passing yards and TDs. Not only that, but his best season he still holds the record for most yards and passing TDs in a season. Do I really need to tell you who Peyton Manning is?
2. Franklin Armstrong - - Warren Moon
We all know Moon is a Hall of Famer, but until I looked up his stats I had no idea how good he actually was. He played in a completely different era where passing wasn’t the same as today, yet his best season was still better than Andrew Luck’s best yards/game season. He is a one time MVP winner and had many records in his 17 year career which is even more impressive because he spent the first six seasons of professional football playing in the Canadian Football League and winning 5 Grey Cups!
3. Cooter Bigsby - - Andrew Luck
What could have been. Andrew Luck is widely considered one of the greatest QB prospects ever. In his six seasons in the NFL, he was always one of the best on the field and was a true elite QB. He made 4 pro-bowls and one Comeback Player of the Year, but injuries and the mental and physical toll of them led to his well publicized retirement from the game before he turned 30.
4. George O’Donnell - - George O’Donnell
IDK who George O’Donnell is… Some baseball player from the 1920s? That can’t be right. Ok, lemme look up the draft GFX to see who Leafer listed as his render… OMG JOSH ALLEN!! The soon to be greatest QB of all time!! Sweet! He’s flying up my boards. If you want to know how to rise up on the player render draft list, just pick a Bills render. That is all. But for real, he is really good. No homer pick at all, he is really good. I was at the game in Minnesota where he jumped over Barr and it was magical. Idk what else to say, he is good and will lead us to the promised land! Best QB in AFC East!!! Ok back to the list.
5. Wolfie McDummy - - Kyler Murray
I am basing these rankings on a player’s best season so since Kyler only has had one season under his belt, you would think he would be much lower. But when comparing his one season to the rest of the candidates, his stats hold up to their best years. His passer rating is tops and his total yards, TDs, and yards/attempt rivals all the remaining players. Since that was just his rookie year, I expect Kyler to jump up the list the more and more he gets used to the league. The reigning rookie of the year has a bright future ahead.
6. Corva Havran - - Sam Bradford
Another player who was Rookie of the Year. The only problem is he never lived up to that. Bradford had quite a few decent seasons but never lived up to his Heisman and 1OA hype. His best season is very comparable to Murray and the next QB on the list, but never could keep up the consistency.
7. Monty Jack - - Jake Delhomme
Jake Delhomme is an underrated player who spent 7 seasons as the starting QB for the Carolina Panthers. Honestly, he could be as high as 4 on this list. His best season rivaled both Bradford and Murray for yards and TDs, but his passer rating and yards/attempt were slightly lower thus giving the other two the bump. That, plus we know Murray’s best season is yet to come, and Bradfords peak was slowed due to injuries and poor team management.
8. Stan Francisco - - Kyle Allen
The second Panthers QB taken is Kyle Allen who was a OK, if not underwhelming backup to Cam Newton last season. The former Aggie started 12 games in 2019 leading to a 5-7 record, 17 TDs and 16 INTs. He was traded this offseason as is hoping for a better experience in Washington as backup to Haskins.
9. Jay Cue - - Johnny Manziel
From Heisman winner to draft bust, Manziel was taken in the first round by Cleveland and proved all the haters right by never living up to his draft potential and being cut from the team in under 2 seasons. He went on to play in the CFL, and no one knows his current whereabouts.
10. Dexter Banks III - - Robby Anderson
I mean, he’s a really fast athlete, so I assume if he played QB he would be able to scramble arround a lot and do good on zone reads, but I don’t see Anderson making a name for himself under center. Until I see him throw the ball, I will doubt his acumen,
11. Easton Cole - - Some WWE guy
I didn’t bother looking this guy up but he is 11 on the list. Why, because all he has going for him from a QB standpoint is he kinda looks like Trevor Lawrence. I bet he played football in highschool but quit to smoke pot… IDK he just looks punchable.
12. Chika Fujiwara - - Chika Fujiwara
I actually looked up this girl, because you never know if these anime people have super powers right? IDK, I’ve never watched anime. Looking her up I was disappointed as she has no special powers. She is a high school student who likes solving puzzles I think… IDK, I couldn’t even finish reading her wiki cuz, why? Well, moral of the story, a high school girl would be terrible as a professional Quarterback…
Thats it for QB, now on to everyone’s favorite position… TE!!! Yes, I am going in a random order that no one know what is next, including me. But TEs go from Stars, to role fillers, to duds in a hurry.
TE
1. Gronk Robertowski - - Rob Gronkowski with a weird beard
In his injury shortened career, Rob Gronkowski was simply the best TE. He changed the game on what an athletic TE could be, both blocking and catching passes. He may not have the longevity of Tony Gonzalez, but his peaks were the best TE seasons of all time. Even if he has a funny beard that looks like someone photoshopped his hair down to his chin, I still think he could put up similar numbers. Maybe not as good, IDK, beards may get in the way, but pretty close.
2. James Lewandowski - - Ozzie Newsome
Elected to the Hall of Fame, Ozzie Newsome is listed as one of the top ten TEs of all time on any list. This may be controversial putting him over the next guy, but credit where credit is due, Newsome was a force during his 12 game playing career. His great football acumen led him to being a great GM post career.
3. Jeffery Phillips - - Travis Kelce
When his career is over, he may jump Newsome into a top 5 all time list. Kelce is consistently awesome every year, earning 5 pro bowls, two first team, and a SuperBowl victory last season. He puts up numbers most WRs are jealous of. Back to back to back to back 1000 yards seasons have become the norm.
4. Von Hayes - - Ben Coates
I don’t claim to be the world’s foremost NFL historian, but I had barely heard of Ben Coates. I was just a baby Bills fan so other teams stars did nothing for me. So I was a little surprised to see Coates on some lists top TE of all time. The 5 time pro bowler once held the record for catches by a TE in a season before topped by Tony Gonzalez. He was a solid TE for many years and deserves this spot on the list.
5. Leon McDavid - - Kyle Ruddolph
This is the pat of my list where I point out again that I am going off best seasons. The next few on the list I believe will eventually have better seasons than him. Rudolph is a 2 time pro bowler for the vikings who has a 80+ target, 840 yard season under his belt. He has been consistently above average, which has made for a very solid career. You can’t go wrong having a stable TE in your arsenal for years on end.
6. Jammerson Irving - - Noah Fant
The next two are neck and neck future studs with potential to be great. Both had 500+ yard seasons last year. Fant did his with fewer targets and catches showing his breakout potential. He is a playmaker and athletic freak who is a matchup nightmare in space, and being a former 1st round pick, the Broncos are invested in him.
7. Avon Blocksdale Jr. - - Mike Gesicki
Also coming off a 500+ season, Gesicki might be a target monster next season in Miami. The second round pick started living up to his potential last season after a subpar rookie showing. Here’s hoping that the leap forward continues into next season.
8. James Angler - - Jesse James
9. Austin McCormick - - Garrett Celek
I’m gonna start grouping tiers together now otherwise Dwyer will get mad at all the money I have again… But these two players are very similar and have had solid careers. The edge goes to James who has had a slightly better best season in a shorter career and they both average about the same for their average seasons. You could do worse than having these solid players as your TEs.
10. Earl Sauce - - Luke Stocker
11. Clark Boyd - - Taysom Hill
12. Heath Evans - - Heath Evans (Saints edition)
13. Daniel George - - Drew Sample
Now we get to the below average TEs that play in the league. Stocker has been in the league for 9 years and at most gone for 165 receiving yards. Hill has a 200+ receiving season, but I mean, c’mon, he’s a gimmicky QB. Evans is more known as a blocking fullback, and the render is specifically his Saints version, which is objectively his more washed out older version. Last, Sample has had one season, 5 receptions, for 30 yards. If you picked up a TE on the waiver wire for a bye week replacement in fantasy, you would still be disappointed in that output…
14. Rainer Wolfcastle - - Rainer Wolfcastle (The Simpsons)
15. Tree Glebman - - Tree Glebman (Some movie)
16. Donatello Arrabiata - - Guy Fieri
So, the last few on my list aren’t even Football players so they go lower on the list. Wolfcastle is a beast, but he still goes below sample. Some of these Beefed up Steroid users are too stiff and I don’t think he could run a simple route. Next is Tree… She tops Fieri for two reasons, She has an axe, and she can’t die. That gives her an advantage over Fieri who has frosted tips which would make all the players on defense want to murder him...
Next we have the most important position to everyone who has ever played fantasy football. This is the spot where dreams and made and drafts are crushed. If you don’t have the best one of these you are sure to fail. Of course, I’m talking about your team's Kicker!!!
1. Alfredo Crisco - - Sebastian Janikowski
Easily the first pick of this draft. Former first rounder who would go on to be the raiders all time leading scorer, even though he finished his career in Seattle. A lot of people hated on the pick, but he would go on to have a stellar career.
2. Alex Dasostwirklichseinnachname - - Thomas Muller
He is the highest ranking non-football player on this or any list. Quite simply, he is really good at kicking things. If he were to try out for an NFL team, he would probably make it. Muller is one of the best soccer players in the world and is the star of one of the best countries teams in Germany.
3. Lefty Louis - - Mike Nugent
Nugent has has a solid career and is an NFL kicker so I don’t really know what else to say. I kinda think kickers are lame…
4. Matthew McDairmid - - Jaime Gillan
This guy is a punter so he probably is his teams back up kicker… Let’s be real, I’m trailing off a bit.
5. Dougie Smalls - - Jadeveon Clowney
Here is a guy who doesn’t kick for a living, but hes pretty swole so I give him a chance. He would be great on kickoff coverage…
6. Venus Powers - - A’ja Wilson
She is really close to Smalls as far as how good a kicker I think she’d be… Tie goes to the Wraiths.
7. Jacob Small - - Kota Ibushi
This guy is a wrestler so I think he would be too stiff from steroids to actually kick a ball. Yes I used that same argument pro-Clowney but what are you going to do…
That was kinda fun… Maybe I will do WR and RBs another time. I guess they are cool positions too.
Starting off with QBs. We have a HOFer, Future HOFer, players with solid careers and great potential, busts, a WR, some tool, and a high school anime girl. So, quite a range of prospects.
QB
1. Brock Phoenix - - Peyton Manning
Easy top one on the list. Peyton Manning is considered one of the greatest QBs of all time. He was a two time Super Bowl Champ, and 5 time MVP. He is top 3 all time in passing yards and TDs. Not only that, but his best season he still holds the record for most yards and passing TDs in a season. Do I really need to tell you who Peyton Manning is?
2. Franklin Armstrong - - Warren Moon
We all know Moon is a Hall of Famer, but until I looked up his stats I had no idea how good he actually was. He played in a completely different era where passing wasn’t the same as today, yet his best season was still better than Andrew Luck’s best yards/game season. He is a one time MVP winner and had many records in his 17 year career which is even more impressive because he spent the first six seasons of professional football playing in the Canadian Football League and winning 5 Grey Cups!
3. Cooter Bigsby - - Andrew Luck
What could have been. Andrew Luck is widely considered one of the greatest QB prospects ever. In his six seasons in the NFL, he was always one of the best on the field and was a true elite QB. He made 4 pro-bowls and one Comeback Player of the Year, but injuries and the mental and physical toll of them led to his well publicized retirement from the game before he turned 30.
4. George O’Donnell - - George O’Donnell
IDK who George O’Donnell is… Some baseball player from the 1920s? That can’t be right. Ok, lemme look up the draft GFX to see who Leafer listed as his render… OMG JOSH ALLEN!! The soon to be greatest QB of all time!! Sweet! He’s flying up my boards. If you want to know how to rise up on the player render draft list, just pick a Bills render. That is all. But for real, he is really good. No homer pick at all, he is really good. I was at the game in Minnesota where he jumped over Barr and it was magical. Idk what else to say, he is good and will lead us to the promised land! Best QB in AFC East!!! Ok back to the list.
5. Wolfie McDummy - - Kyler Murray
I am basing these rankings on a player’s best season so since Kyler only has had one season under his belt, you would think he would be much lower. But when comparing his one season to the rest of the candidates, his stats hold up to their best years. His passer rating is tops and his total yards, TDs, and yards/attempt rivals all the remaining players. Since that was just his rookie year, I expect Kyler to jump up the list the more and more he gets used to the league. The reigning rookie of the year has a bright future ahead.
6. Corva Havran - - Sam Bradford
Another player who was Rookie of the Year. The only problem is he never lived up to that. Bradford had quite a few decent seasons but never lived up to his Heisman and 1OA hype. His best season is very comparable to Murray and the next QB on the list, but never could keep up the consistency.
7. Monty Jack - - Jake Delhomme
Jake Delhomme is an underrated player who spent 7 seasons as the starting QB for the Carolina Panthers. Honestly, he could be as high as 4 on this list. His best season rivaled both Bradford and Murray for yards and TDs, but his passer rating and yards/attempt were slightly lower thus giving the other two the bump. That, plus we know Murray’s best season is yet to come, and Bradfords peak was slowed due to injuries and poor team management.
8. Stan Francisco - - Kyle Allen
The second Panthers QB taken is Kyle Allen who was a OK, if not underwhelming backup to Cam Newton last season. The former Aggie started 12 games in 2019 leading to a 5-7 record, 17 TDs and 16 INTs. He was traded this offseason as is hoping for a better experience in Washington as backup to Haskins.
9. Jay Cue - - Johnny Manziel
From Heisman winner to draft bust, Manziel was taken in the first round by Cleveland and proved all the haters right by never living up to his draft potential and being cut from the team in under 2 seasons. He went on to play in the CFL, and no one knows his current whereabouts.
10. Dexter Banks III - - Robby Anderson
I mean, he’s a really fast athlete, so I assume if he played QB he would be able to scramble arround a lot and do good on zone reads, but I don’t see Anderson making a name for himself under center. Until I see him throw the ball, I will doubt his acumen,
11. Easton Cole - - Some WWE guy
I didn’t bother looking this guy up but he is 11 on the list. Why, because all he has going for him from a QB standpoint is he kinda looks like Trevor Lawrence. I bet he played football in highschool but quit to smoke pot… IDK he just looks punchable.
12. Chika Fujiwara - - Chika Fujiwara
I actually looked up this girl, because you never know if these anime people have super powers right? IDK, I’ve never watched anime. Looking her up I was disappointed as she has no special powers. She is a high school student who likes solving puzzles I think… IDK, I couldn’t even finish reading her wiki cuz, why? Well, moral of the story, a high school girl would be terrible as a professional Quarterback…
Thats it for QB, now on to everyone’s favorite position… TE!!! Yes, I am going in a random order that no one know what is next, including me. But TEs go from Stars, to role fillers, to duds in a hurry.
TE
1. Gronk Robertowski - - Rob Gronkowski with a weird beard
In his injury shortened career, Rob Gronkowski was simply the best TE. He changed the game on what an athletic TE could be, both blocking and catching passes. He may not have the longevity of Tony Gonzalez, but his peaks were the best TE seasons of all time. Even if he has a funny beard that looks like someone photoshopped his hair down to his chin, I still think he could put up similar numbers. Maybe not as good, IDK, beards may get in the way, but pretty close.
2. James Lewandowski - - Ozzie Newsome
Elected to the Hall of Fame, Ozzie Newsome is listed as one of the top ten TEs of all time on any list. This may be controversial putting him over the next guy, but credit where credit is due, Newsome was a force during his 12 game playing career. His great football acumen led him to being a great GM post career.
3. Jeffery Phillips - - Travis Kelce
When his career is over, he may jump Newsome into a top 5 all time list. Kelce is consistently awesome every year, earning 5 pro bowls, two first team, and a SuperBowl victory last season. He puts up numbers most WRs are jealous of. Back to back to back to back 1000 yards seasons have become the norm.
4. Von Hayes - - Ben Coates
I don’t claim to be the world’s foremost NFL historian, but I had barely heard of Ben Coates. I was just a baby Bills fan so other teams stars did nothing for me. So I was a little surprised to see Coates on some lists top TE of all time. The 5 time pro bowler once held the record for catches by a TE in a season before topped by Tony Gonzalez. He was a solid TE for many years and deserves this spot on the list.
5. Leon McDavid - - Kyle Ruddolph
This is the pat of my list where I point out again that I am going off best seasons. The next few on the list I believe will eventually have better seasons than him. Rudolph is a 2 time pro bowler for the vikings who has a 80+ target, 840 yard season under his belt. He has been consistently above average, which has made for a very solid career. You can’t go wrong having a stable TE in your arsenal for years on end.
6. Jammerson Irving - - Noah Fant
The next two are neck and neck future studs with potential to be great. Both had 500+ yard seasons last year. Fant did his with fewer targets and catches showing his breakout potential. He is a playmaker and athletic freak who is a matchup nightmare in space, and being a former 1st round pick, the Broncos are invested in him.
7. Avon Blocksdale Jr. - - Mike Gesicki
Also coming off a 500+ season, Gesicki might be a target monster next season in Miami. The second round pick started living up to his potential last season after a subpar rookie showing. Here’s hoping that the leap forward continues into next season.
8. James Angler - - Jesse James
9. Austin McCormick - - Garrett Celek
I’m gonna start grouping tiers together now otherwise Dwyer will get mad at all the money I have again… But these two players are very similar and have had solid careers. The edge goes to James who has had a slightly better best season in a shorter career and they both average about the same for their average seasons. You could do worse than having these solid players as your TEs.
10. Earl Sauce - - Luke Stocker
11. Clark Boyd - - Taysom Hill
12. Heath Evans - - Heath Evans (Saints edition)
13. Daniel George - - Drew Sample
Now we get to the below average TEs that play in the league. Stocker has been in the league for 9 years and at most gone for 165 receiving yards. Hill has a 200+ receiving season, but I mean, c’mon, he’s a gimmicky QB. Evans is more known as a blocking fullback, and the render is specifically his Saints version, which is objectively his more washed out older version. Last, Sample has had one season, 5 receptions, for 30 yards. If you picked up a TE on the waiver wire for a bye week replacement in fantasy, you would still be disappointed in that output…
14. Rainer Wolfcastle - - Rainer Wolfcastle (The Simpsons)
15. Tree Glebman - - Tree Glebman (Some movie)
16. Donatello Arrabiata - - Guy Fieri
So, the last few on my list aren’t even Football players so they go lower on the list. Wolfcastle is a beast, but he still goes below sample. Some of these Beefed up Steroid users are too stiff and I don’t think he could run a simple route. Next is Tree… She tops Fieri for two reasons, She has an axe, and she can’t die. That gives her an advantage over Fieri who has frosted tips which would make all the players on defense want to murder him...
Next we have the most important position to everyone who has ever played fantasy football. This is the spot where dreams and made and drafts are crushed. If you don’t have the best one of these you are sure to fail. Of course, I’m talking about your team's Kicker!!!
1. Alfredo Crisco - - Sebastian Janikowski
Easily the first pick of this draft. Former first rounder who would go on to be the raiders all time leading scorer, even though he finished his career in Seattle. A lot of people hated on the pick, but he would go on to have a stellar career.
2. Alex Dasostwirklichseinnachname - - Thomas Muller
He is the highest ranking non-football player on this or any list. Quite simply, he is really good at kicking things. If he were to try out for an NFL team, he would probably make it. Muller is one of the best soccer players in the world and is the star of one of the best countries teams in Germany.
3. Lefty Louis - - Mike Nugent
Nugent has has a solid career and is an NFL kicker so I don’t really know what else to say. I kinda think kickers are lame…
4. Matthew McDairmid - - Jaime Gillan
This guy is a punter so he probably is his teams back up kicker… Let’s be real, I’m trailing off a bit.
5. Dougie Smalls - - Jadeveon Clowney
Here is a guy who doesn’t kick for a living, but hes pretty swole so I give him a chance. He would be great on kickoff coverage…
6. Venus Powers - - A’ja Wilson
She is really close to Smalls as far as how good a kicker I think she’d be… Tie goes to the Wraiths.
7. Jacob Small - - Kota Ibushi
This guy is a wrestler so I think he would be too stiff from steroids to actually kick a ball. Yes I used that same argument pro-Clowney but what are you going to do…
That was kinda fun… Maybe I will do WR and RBs another time. I guess they are cool positions too.