07-26-2020, 05:49 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-26-2020, 05:50 AM by nutbarspadge.)
A few words from Sheed Thebaw’s agent, Mitchell Thomasson. In this article, Mitchell outlines the best landing spots for Sheed, based on location and facilities, as well as how the city lines up with Sheed’s… personal interests.
8. Portland Pythons
Portland - it’s simply just too “west coast”. It rains a bunch, they all drink coffee and it seems like a place where hipsters would congregate and you would hear them say things like “how much hemp is in those trousers?” or “Where did you get that moustache wax from?”. None of this fits with Thebaw’s idea of a good time. If Sheed has to leave the house and worry about what he looks like so that he won’t be judged by Jarrad Hannison standing on the sidewalk outside his apartment, it’s not going to be a good time. Do they even sell Pabst Blue Ribbon in this city?! That being said, Portland would be getting themselves a top notch player in Sheed Thebaw and someone who would be willing to put his body on the line for the team.
7. Tijuana Luchadores
Mexico seems like a trip. Hot weather, spicy food, violence, soccer and music. This all sounds great, but then you have to remember you have to LIVE HERE. This is not a vacation or spring break. The appeal of Tijuana on the surface looks incredible, but then after two weeks, you realise that you haven’t slept for the entire time and don’t know what happened to your pet dog Charley. The distractions of this city are too great for Sheed to consider this as a top option. Plus all they have to drink is TJ. That being said, Tijuana would be getting themselves an incredible player in Sheed Thebaw and someone who would be willing to do anything for the team.
6. Kansas City Coyotes
The home of BBQ and the mob. What more could a man ask for? I’ll tell you what, a colder climate, something to do other than fear for your life in a bar and gaining 97lbs at Harp’s BBQ. Yeah the Ozarks are nearby so you can connect with the locals which is great and Sheed has the opportunity to get out on the boats. Apparently the Coyotes training facilities are top notch, but in terms of places to land, the other teams have more appealing aspects, which will become clear as we move on. Plus KC Bier is the local swill and it’s too cloudy for Sheed. That being said, Kansas City would be getting themselves a fantastic player in Sheed Thebaw who is a real team player.
5. Minnesota Grey Ducks
Anything Minnesota for a Wisconsin Badger is a no no. Next.
4. Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Sheed would fit in well here. It has the appeal of getting that “country feel” but also enough area’s to party with your buddies. That big wheel looks sick too. I don’t really know too much about Myrtle Beach, I can see some of it being a distraction for Sheed, but I’m getting good vibes. However they have this awesome beach, but you’re telling me Sheed is prohibited from drinking on it? C’mon. That being said, Myrtle Beach would be getting themselves an incredible in Sheed Thebaw and someone who would be willing to increase the teams sack count, if he were drafted.
3. London Royals
Gotta be up there as a top contender. Climate similar to Burlington, Thebaw has family in the UK and the team are called the ROYALS. Sick logo too. Their training facilities and team management structure are the main appeal here for Sheed. Also all the crap beer, rumour has it there is a “lager” called “Carling” which Sheed is very keen to try out.
2. Norfolk Seawolves
Reigning Champs. Virginia based, making travel to other games a breeze. Clearly have some of the best scouts in the game if they won the league last season, but their pass defense sucked and they gave up too many points. Enter Sheed Thebaw. Despite Sheed not knowing what a “seawolf” is (does anyone?) He is drawn to success naturally, having been surrounded by it his entire playing career, making Norfolk a great fit for him. They are also famous for a beer brand called “Craft Beers” which Sheed is interested in sampling.
1. Dallas Birddogs
Dallas. What more do I need to say?! Big D. Triple D. Metroplex. Jerry World. Sign me up! Everything is bigger in Texas, and you might as well supersize it in Dallas. Great weather, lovely city, friendly people. Awesome team with a great GM and HC. Bad beer, amazing food and cornhole at almost every establishment. This is definitely top of Sheed’s list.
8. Portland Pythons
Portland - it’s simply just too “west coast”. It rains a bunch, they all drink coffee and it seems like a place where hipsters would congregate and you would hear them say things like “how much hemp is in those trousers?” or “Where did you get that moustache wax from?”. None of this fits with Thebaw’s idea of a good time. If Sheed has to leave the house and worry about what he looks like so that he won’t be judged by Jarrad Hannison standing on the sidewalk outside his apartment, it’s not going to be a good time. Do they even sell Pabst Blue Ribbon in this city?! That being said, Portland would be getting themselves a top notch player in Sheed Thebaw and someone who would be willing to put his body on the line for the team.
7. Tijuana Luchadores
Mexico seems like a trip. Hot weather, spicy food, violence, soccer and music. This all sounds great, but then you have to remember you have to LIVE HERE. This is not a vacation or spring break. The appeal of Tijuana on the surface looks incredible, but then after two weeks, you realise that you haven’t slept for the entire time and don’t know what happened to your pet dog Charley. The distractions of this city are too great for Sheed to consider this as a top option. Plus all they have to drink is TJ. That being said, Tijuana would be getting themselves an incredible player in Sheed Thebaw and someone who would be willing to do anything for the team.
6. Kansas City Coyotes
The home of BBQ and the mob. What more could a man ask for? I’ll tell you what, a colder climate, something to do other than fear for your life in a bar and gaining 97lbs at Harp’s BBQ. Yeah the Ozarks are nearby so you can connect with the locals which is great and Sheed has the opportunity to get out on the boats. Apparently the Coyotes training facilities are top notch, but in terms of places to land, the other teams have more appealing aspects, which will become clear as we move on. Plus KC Bier is the local swill and it’s too cloudy for Sheed. That being said, Kansas City would be getting themselves a fantastic player in Sheed Thebaw who is a real team player.
5. Minnesota Grey Ducks
Anything Minnesota for a Wisconsin Badger is a no no. Next.
4. Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Sheed would fit in well here. It has the appeal of getting that “country feel” but also enough area’s to party with your buddies. That big wheel looks sick too. I don’t really know too much about Myrtle Beach, I can see some of it being a distraction for Sheed, but I’m getting good vibes. However they have this awesome beach, but you’re telling me Sheed is prohibited from drinking on it? C’mon. That being said, Myrtle Beach would be getting themselves an incredible in Sheed Thebaw and someone who would be willing to increase the teams sack count, if he were drafted.
3. London Royals
Gotta be up there as a top contender. Climate similar to Burlington, Thebaw has family in the UK and the team are called the ROYALS. Sick logo too. Their training facilities and team management structure are the main appeal here for Sheed. Also all the crap beer, rumour has it there is a “lager” called “Carling” which Sheed is very keen to try out.
2. Norfolk Seawolves
Reigning Champs. Virginia based, making travel to other games a breeze. Clearly have some of the best scouts in the game if they won the league last season, but their pass defense sucked and they gave up too many points. Enter Sheed Thebaw. Despite Sheed not knowing what a “seawolf” is (does anyone?) He is drawn to success naturally, having been surrounded by it his entire playing career, making Norfolk a great fit for him. They are also famous for a beer brand called “Craft Beers” which Sheed is interested in sampling.
1. Dallas Birddogs
Dallas. What more do I need to say?! Big D. Triple D. Metroplex. Jerry World. Sign me up! Everything is bigger in Texas, and you might as well supersize it in Dallas. Great weather, lovely city, friendly people. Awesome team with a great GM and HC. Bad beer, amazing food and cornhole at almost every establishment. This is definitely top of Sheed’s list.
"Sheed Thebaw - The Unblockable Situation"