Dogwood Maple is one of the most noticed and notable members of the sim sports community. He has made his presence in tons and tons of sim leagues, including (but not limited to) the Pro Baseball Experience, the International Simulation Football League (obviously lol) and the Sim Hockey League- all under the name of Dogwood Maple. One can assume that Dogwood is simply a multi sport Icon- a promising baseball pitcher for the Kansas City Hepcats, a star football player in the Silverbacks Organization, and whatever the hell he does in the Sim Hockey league, I don’t know. The point is that most people assume that Dogwood is a multi sport icon. I was one of them for quite a while.
Then I woke up. You see, the people who think that Dogwood is a multi sport icon are sheep. I understand that my claims might be called “wrong” or “idiotic.” But a lot of ideas were appreciated in their time- for example Galileo’s teachings, or air conditioning (maybe). I believe this is one of those ideas. Read this article all the way through, and I promise that I will convert you into a believer. I have that power. Now hear me out.
Dogwood Maple is not a multi sim league icon. Rather, the real Dogwood Maple is unknown. Dogwood has made clones of himself to ultimately take over these sim leagues. The next step- WORLD DOMINATION. Cue dramatic music.
I know it seems very far-fetched, but It’s the truth. As I became more active in sim leagues, I noticed that Dogwood was very conveniently in the same sim leagues I was in. In fact, he was also in a lot of ISFL locker rooms when I first joined. As a late create, I was invited to the locker rooms of the London Royals and the Portland Pythons. Both of them had Dogwood Maple in their locker rooms. I was confused about this- how could Dogwood be in so many sim leagues, and chatting with so many players, while having to juggle a baseball, football, and hockey career? As I began to do more research about this subject, I realized something- Dogwood wasn’t actually a multi sim league presence. He was simply releasing clones of himself into other teams’ locker rooms and sim leagues. And then I uncovered it- the confessions article.
Dogwood had released a five thousand word article with anonymous ISFL confessions. He was making waves and causing trouble, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I joined long after that article was truly relevant. This was Dogwood planting the seed for his takeover. He was posing as an innocent bystander and an unbiased player- but he really wanted to turn the league upside down with this. He wanted to turn teams against each other and cause the league to run amok. When the league was at its darkest point, Dogwood would play the hero and become commissioner of the league. Dogwood would appoint his own administration to the top and run the league his way- with tyranny. The ISFL would become something it had never been before- a dictatorship. Once Dogwood had this plan down, he would do it with PBE and SHL- and become commissioner of those 3 leagues. However, Dogwood would not put himself up as commissioner of those leagues, rather he would make clones of himself (Also named Dogwood Maple) and have the clone commish those leagues. Basically, Dogwood would run the leagues into the ground and build them back up in the way he wanted them to be built. He has access to so many locker rooms to see how their team dynamics are, and ultimately capitalize on that. He will take advantage of each ISFL and DSFL team’s weaknesses and destroy the league at its core. Then, he will do the same for PBE, SHL, and any other league he happens to join. And no one will suspect a thing.
However, this plan was stopped in its tracks- as the ISFL confessions article failed to catch on and make the league fight within itself. But Dogwood’s maniacal plan isn’t over, no. Once Dogwood could theoretically find another plan and have him and his clones take over the Sim League Universe, Dogwood will take over the entire world. Here is how.
The sim league universe might seem like it pales in comparison to World Domination, but it is all connected and linked to one another. You see, one of Dogwood’s sim leagues, the PBE, has ties with the Toronto Blue Jays, as seen here:
https://twitter.com/BlueJays/status/1337100010543083528
The Blue Jays replied to the PBE and ultimately, we know that this obviously means that the Jays and the PBE are good pals. If Dogwood were to be able to take over the PBE (which is one of his main goals), he would also be seen in good faith by the Blue Jays. Dogwood would then do the following.
First, Dogwood will convert his net worth in PBE Money to real money- enough to buy the Blue Jays and become their owner. Next, he will, obviously, buy the Blue Jays with money to spare. He will then rebuild the Blue Jays from the ground up and ultimately make them a dynasty. Due to his increased popularity in Toronto, he will buy a house there and gain Canadian Citizenship. He will uproot himself from America and ditch Commissioning the ISFL, SHL, and PBE, killing all 3 leagues in the process. After making the Blue Jays a dynasty, in 2030, after winning his 5th consecutive world series with the team, he will sell the team in favor of a political career. He is trusted by the citizens of Canada and ultimately is elected prime minister after serving no time in the Political Realm before this.
As Prime Minister of Canada, Dogwood will attempt to take over North America as a whole, turning Canada into an international superpower. Canada will start to slowly take over the Northern United States, starting with South Dakota and Montana before going down and eventually conquering all of America by 2036. After conquering America, Dogwood goes on a power trip and eventually conquers North and South America by 2040. Canada now controls the Western World. Next up- Dogwood goes after Africa, conquering the country in just 1 year as Dogwood has invested billions into the Canadian military. The rest of the world is no match for the Canadian Empire now, as Europe, Asia, and Australia drop like flies. Dogwood now has the entire world in his fingertips, and he can do whatever he wants with it. In 2045, Dogwood puts the greatest scientific minds to work on a cure for aging. It is developed in 3 years. Dogwood takes the Immortality Potion and immediately breaks it. Dogwood is now the only immortal in the Universe. Dogwood is no longer just a mild-mannered multi sim league player.
He is the most interesting man in the world.
This media article was brought to you by Dos Equis.
(Jk Dogwood is the goat)
1,174 Words
Then I woke up. You see, the people who think that Dogwood is a multi sport icon are sheep. I understand that my claims might be called “wrong” or “idiotic.” But a lot of ideas were appreciated in their time- for example Galileo’s teachings, or air conditioning (maybe). I believe this is one of those ideas. Read this article all the way through, and I promise that I will convert you into a believer. I have that power. Now hear me out.
Dogwood Maple is not a multi sim league icon. Rather, the real Dogwood Maple is unknown. Dogwood has made clones of himself to ultimately take over these sim leagues. The next step- WORLD DOMINATION. Cue dramatic music.
I know it seems very far-fetched, but It’s the truth. As I became more active in sim leagues, I noticed that Dogwood was very conveniently in the same sim leagues I was in. In fact, he was also in a lot of ISFL locker rooms when I first joined. As a late create, I was invited to the locker rooms of the London Royals and the Portland Pythons. Both of them had Dogwood Maple in their locker rooms. I was confused about this- how could Dogwood be in so many sim leagues, and chatting with so many players, while having to juggle a baseball, football, and hockey career? As I began to do more research about this subject, I realized something- Dogwood wasn’t actually a multi sim league presence. He was simply releasing clones of himself into other teams’ locker rooms and sim leagues. And then I uncovered it- the confessions article.
Dogwood had released a five thousand word article with anonymous ISFL confessions. He was making waves and causing trouble, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I joined long after that article was truly relevant. This was Dogwood planting the seed for his takeover. He was posing as an innocent bystander and an unbiased player- but he really wanted to turn the league upside down with this. He wanted to turn teams against each other and cause the league to run amok. When the league was at its darkest point, Dogwood would play the hero and become commissioner of the league. Dogwood would appoint his own administration to the top and run the league his way- with tyranny. The ISFL would become something it had never been before- a dictatorship. Once Dogwood had this plan down, he would do it with PBE and SHL- and become commissioner of those 3 leagues. However, Dogwood would not put himself up as commissioner of those leagues, rather he would make clones of himself (Also named Dogwood Maple) and have the clone commish those leagues. Basically, Dogwood would run the leagues into the ground and build them back up in the way he wanted them to be built. He has access to so many locker rooms to see how their team dynamics are, and ultimately capitalize on that. He will take advantage of each ISFL and DSFL team’s weaknesses and destroy the league at its core. Then, he will do the same for PBE, SHL, and any other league he happens to join. And no one will suspect a thing.
However, this plan was stopped in its tracks- as the ISFL confessions article failed to catch on and make the league fight within itself. But Dogwood’s maniacal plan isn’t over, no. Once Dogwood could theoretically find another plan and have him and his clones take over the Sim League Universe, Dogwood will take over the entire world. Here is how.
The sim league universe might seem like it pales in comparison to World Domination, but it is all connected and linked to one another. You see, one of Dogwood’s sim leagues, the PBE, has ties with the Toronto Blue Jays, as seen here:
https://twitter.com/BlueJays/status/1337100010543083528
The Blue Jays replied to the PBE and ultimately, we know that this obviously means that the Jays and the PBE are good pals. If Dogwood were to be able to take over the PBE (which is one of his main goals), he would also be seen in good faith by the Blue Jays. Dogwood would then do the following.
First, Dogwood will convert his net worth in PBE Money to real money- enough to buy the Blue Jays and become their owner. Next, he will, obviously, buy the Blue Jays with money to spare. He will then rebuild the Blue Jays from the ground up and ultimately make them a dynasty. Due to his increased popularity in Toronto, he will buy a house there and gain Canadian Citizenship. He will uproot himself from America and ditch Commissioning the ISFL, SHL, and PBE, killing all 3 leagues in the process. After making the Blue Jays a dynasty, in 2030, after winning his 5th consecutive world series with the team, he will sell the team in favor of a political career. He is trusted by the citizens of Canada and ultimately is elected prime minister after serving no time in the Political Realm before this.
As Prime Minister of Canada, Dogwood will attempt to take over North America as a whole, turning Canada into an international superpower. Canada will start to slowly take over the Northern United States, starting with South Dakota and Montana before going down and eventually conquering all of America by 2036. After conquering America, Dogwood goes on a power trip and eventually conquers North and South America by 2040. Canada now controls the Western World. Next up- Dogwood goes after Africa, conquering the country in just 1 year as Dogwood has invested billions into the Canadian military. The rest of the world is no match for the Canadian Empire now, as Europe, Asia, and Australia drop like flies. Dogwood now has the entire world in his fingertips, and he can do whatever he wants with it. In 2045, Dogwood puts the greatest scientific minds to work on a cure for aging. It is developed in 3 years. Dogwood takes the Immortality Potion and immediately breaks it. Dogwood is now the only immortal in the Universe. Dogwood is no longer just a mild-mannered multi sim league player.
He is the most interesting man in the world.
This media article was brought to you by Dos Equis.
(Jk Dogwood is the goat)
1,174 Words