08-21-2021, 06:59 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-23-2021, 11:10 PM by Tesla. Edited 7 times in total.)
That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Juno Hu, the undisputed best S28 CB by all accounts, assessments, and benchmarks, is a free agent and is offering his services to the highest bidder. The only hard requirement is that it is a 1-year contract. Otherwise, order of priorities goes as follows: CB1 > CB2 > Monies. That means Hu is willing to take a $1 million CB1 contract over a $15 million CB2 contract, and if multiple teams are offering CB1, Hu will go to the highest bidder. If two teams somehow tie, then Hu will sign with the team who can offer the best miscellaneous contract stipulations. On that note, Hu requires that the following contract stipulations be included in the new contract:
Due to extremely rare medical conditions which have been confirmed by multiple previous team doctors, the following clauses are to be added and remain active for the duration of this contract to ensure optimal performance:
I. [Team] bears the responsibility of supplying Juno Hu with 3oz of TIJ-branded smelling salts per week during the active season. This includes all costs, border clearances, and legal liabilities should any complications or proceedings arise, and Hu is not to be affliated with the shipments in any way.
II. Juno Hu is exempt from all non-ISFL requested urine screenings, and must be provided advanced notice of all ISFL related urine screenings.
III. During away games, Juno Hu is to be provided with a private dormitory on the team plane and hotel, and allowed to be accompanied by two (2) personal attendants of his choice. These attendants are to be provided free entry into Hu's hotel dormitory.
IV. If the team is international, i.e. Yellowknife or Berlin, the team must provide valid work visas for Juno Hu's two (2) personal attendants.
V. Juno Hu is exempt from all team activities before 12PM. Morning games and team breakfasts are exempt.
VI. Juno Hu is not only legally tamperable, but such activities are highly encouraged.
A preview of the advantages Juno Hu will provide to your team:
- The notorious Naked CB Blitz package (with no safety help to his side). Absolutely deadly when executed correctly.*
- An elite training regime that promises increased attentiveness, a significant reduction in the need for sleep, and hard endurance where it matters most.
- The best wingman, with guaranteed results.**
*Team which it is deadly for not specified.
**Results may differ heavily from expectations.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Can a team bid more than once, or can they only make one offer?
A: Unlimited bids! I may even update this thread with the offers in order of desireability.
The hard deadline is to be September 12th, 11:59PM EST, although, Hu may sign a contract sooner than this date, because Hu does what Hu does. Please contact his agent on Discord at @j00#7005. Thank you for your time and attention in this matter!
Due to extremely rare medical conditions which have been confirmed by multiple previous team doctors, the following clauses are to be added and remain active for the duration of this contract to ensure optimal performance:
I. [Team] bears the responsibility of supplying Juno Hu with 3oz of TIJ-branded smelling salts per week during the active season. This includes all costs, border clearances, and legal liabilities should any complications or proceedings arise, and Hu is not to be affliated with the shipments in any way.
II. Juno Hu is exempt from all non-ISFL requested urine screenings, and must be provided advanced notice of all ISFL related urine screenings.
III. During away games, Juno Hu is to be provided with a private dormitory on the team plane and hotel, and allowed to be accompanied by two (2) personal attendants of his choice. These attendants are to be provided free entry into Hu's hotel dormitory.
IV. If the team is international, i.e. Yellowknife or Berlin, the team must provide valid work visas for Juno Hu's two (2) personal attendants.
V. Juno Hu is exempt from all team activities before 12PM. Morning games and team breakfasts are exempt.
VI. Juno Hu is not only legally tamperable, but such activities are highly encouraged.
A preview of the advantages Juno Hu will provide to your team:
- The notorious Naked CB Blitz package (with no safety help to his side). Absolutely deadly when executed correctly.*
- An elite training regime that promises increased attentiveness, a significant reduction in the need for sleep, and hard endurance where it matters most.
- The best wingman, with guaranteed results.**
*Team which it is deadly for not specified.
**Results may differ heavily from expectations.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Can a team bid more than once, or can they only make one offer?
A: Unlimited bids! I may even update this thread with the offers in order of desireability.
The hard deadline is to be September 12th, 11:59PM EST, although, Hu may sign a contract sooner than this date, because Hu does what Hu does. Please contact his agent on Discord at @j00#7005. Thank you for your time and attention in this matter!