10-01-2021, 05:34 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2021, 10:28 AM by Tesla. Edited 2 times in total.)
Hello, I require money so that I am not a disappointment to my team (I am failing at that), and this is how I will earn my money. Please hire me for a job. Well, please have an opening for something I’m qualified for first. Anyways, in this article I will go over some of the best performances through the first 9 weeks of the season on the American Simulation Football Conference leading Austin Copperheads. Before I get into some players, let’s go over the Copperheads season briefly. The Copperheads are 6-3 so far this season, which as I have mentioned leads their conference. The Copperheads are led by their suffocating defense, which has surrendered the least amount of points in their conference. There is also the offense which is like fourth in the conference, but its mostly the defense. If you’ve ever watched a Copperhead game, you’re probably familiar with the inability of this team to have a comfortable win, and instead each game must shave years off a faithful fans life. Lets get into some of the team MVPs through 9 weeks.
Videl-San
In the star wideouts final season in the ISFL, they have put on another outstanding season. Through 9 weeks, she has 862 yards, which is good for 4th in the ISFL, and is second in touchdowns with 7. Despite having Jackie Daytona as her QB, she’s really made a great career for herself and is consistently at the top of the ISFL in receiving yards and touchdowns, and has made no exceptions this season. Highlight performances include an outstanding performance against the San Jose Sabercats, where she collected 167 yards on just 7 receptions, which was good for a 23.9 average yards per reception. In addition, she caught 3 touchdown passes from Daytona in the 41-14 rout of San Jose. There was also the Yeti game, where she only needed 4 receptions to get 119 yards, including an 83 yarder, which resulted in a touchdown. Still lost, but she tried, alright?
Tyler Montain
Even though it’s amid, he really has been a star for the Copperheads on defense this season. Montain has a playmaker on all defense, as he ranks 6th in the ISFL in total tackles made by any player, in addition to getting 3 sacks, 2 interceptions and forcing a fumble, which he recovered. Montain has been essential in pretty much any situation he is required in. In the week 5 game against Berlin, despite losing, Montain had 13 tackles, including 3 tackles for loss, which was simply dominant. In Austin’s most recent game, against Sarasota, Montain went off, collecting 12 tackles along with an interception, which proved to be helpful in their close 2 point victory.
Brach Thomaslacher
I hope you aren't tired of defensive players, because here's another one to talk about. Thomaslacher is not slowing down at all after his linebacker of the year winning season last season. Thomaslacher is second in the ISFL in sacks with 11, and is a devastating force in the pass rush for opposing offensive lines. In addition to the insane sack numbers, Thomaslacher has forced the second most fumbles, and recovered the most of any non quarterback. Thomaslacher also has Austin’s only safety on the season, and has deflected 4 passes as he is not just a pass rusher. In Austin’s most recent win, he collected 2 sacks and forced a fumble which he recovered, all of which were extremely critical in the 2 point win that probably should have been by more, but capitalizing on turnovers is for scrubs.
Maverick Bowie
Moving onto the secondary, Maverick Bowie is currently tied for second in the ISFL for most interceptions with 3, with 19 more deflections already. Bowie is also the team's trusty kick returner, who has actually been having the worst return season of his career, but that’s ok because returning is hard and you’re better than Jim. In terms of actual defensive things, Bowie has also forced and recovered a fumble, which seems to be a theme amongst the Austin defenders. I’m starting to lose motivation to finish this and I’m only at like 700 words, please send help.
Travis Scott
Next is my very unbiased selection, Austin’s rookie tight end. Scott has stepped into the TE1 role very nicely so far this season, as he has been ok enough in the passing game with 253 yards through 9 games. His real strength has been in the blocking, where the rookie has managed to make opposing defenders look foolish 18 times by pancaking them, which is honestly embarrassing as hell, and also has allowed 1 less sacks than Jim the Vampire (0, take that Kyle!). No touchdowns, but there are more competent receivers so I think he’ll survive.
And finally, I must award someone with the biggest disappointment of the season award. We all know who this is gonna be, it was pretty clear from the second the season started who this would be. Of course, it’s Jim the Vampire. With the great Zoe Watts entering regression for the first time, people wondered if now would be the time for Jim to step up and make his mark on the league and show off what he had. Of course, it’s Kyle, so he didn’t do that. Now, his stats might be decent, they might even be good for all I know, idk whats good or not to be entirely honest. But, because it’s Kyle, he gets no credit and is instead forced to be ashamed of what he has done, whatever that may be, I’m still trying to find out. He actually has quite a lot of all-purpose yards and plenty of touchdowns, 6 actually, but it could be more. Can you tell I haven’t thought this out at all? In all seriousness, there have been no disappointments on the Copperheads imo, except maybe Scott for not having any touchdowns. Cop-out I know, but it’s hard to find issues with the team when you’re on top of your conference with less than half your games to go. To give Kyle credit, he has been a great all-around back and the team would be worse off without him. God that hurt to say, hopefully no one tells him I said that.
That was my shameful attempt at acquiring money in this league. Please give me a job, I have a really good resume, I think. I’m sorry to anyone who reads this.
Videl-San
In the star wideouts final season in the ISFL, they have put on another outstanding season. Through 9 weeks, she has 862 yards, which is good for 4th in the ISFL, and is second in touchdowns with 7. Despite having Jackie Daytona as her QB, she’s really made a great career for herself and is consistently at the top of the ISFL in receiving yards and touchdowns, and has made no exceptions this season. Highlight performances include an outstanding performance against the San Jose Sabercats, where she collected 167 yards on just 7 receptions, which was good for a 23.9 average yards per reception. In addition, she caught 3 touchdown passes from Daytona in the 41-14 rout of San Jose. There was also the Yeti game, where she only needed 4 receptions to get 119 yards, including an 83 yarder, which resulted in a touchdown. Still lost, but she tried, alright?
Tyler Montain
Even though it’s amid, he really has been a star for the Copperheads on defense this season. Montain has a playmaker on all defense, as he ranks 6th in the ISFL in total tackles made by any player, in addition to getting 3 sacks, 2 interceptions and forcing a fumble, which he recovered. Montain has been essential in pretty much any situation he is required in. In the week 5 game against Berlin, despite losing, Montain had 13 tackles, including 3 tackles for loss, which was simply dominant. In Austin’s most recent game, against Sarasota, Montain went off, collecting 12 tackles along with an interception, which proved to be helpful in their close 2 point victory.
Brach Thomaslacher
I hope you aren't tired of defensive players, because here's another one to talk about. Thomaslacher is not slowing down at all after his linebacker of the year winning season last season. Thomaslacher is second in the ISFL in sacks with 11, and is a devastating force in the pass rush for opposing offensive lines. In addition to the insane sack numbers, Thomaslacher has forced the second most fumbles, and recovered the most of any non quarterback. Thomaslacher also has Austin’s only safety on the season, and has deflected 4 passes as he is not just a pass rusher. In Austin’s most recent win, he collected 2 sacks and forced a fumble which he recovered, all of which were extremely critical in the 2 point win that probably should have been by more, but capitalizing on turnovers is for scrubs.
Maverick Bowie
Moving onto the secondary, Maverick Bowie is currently tied for second in the ISFL for most interceptions with 3, with 19 more deflections already. Bowie is also the team's trusty kick returner, who has actually been having the worst return season of his career, but that’s ok because returning is hard and you’re better than Jim. In terms of actual defensive things, Bowie has also forced and recovered a fumble, which seems to be a theme amongst the Austin defenders. I’m starting to lose motivation to finish this and I’m only at like 700 words, please send help.
Travis Scott
Next is my very unbiased selection, Austin’s rookie tight end. Scott has stepped into the TE1 role very nicely so far this season, as he has been ok enough in the passing game with 253 yards through 9 games. His real strength has been in the blocking, where the rookie has managed to make opposing defenders look foolish 18 times by pancaking them, which is honestly embarrassing as hell, and also has allowed 1 less sacks than Jim the Vampire (0, take that Kyle!). No touchdowns, but there are more competent receivers so I think he’ll survive.
And finally, I must award someone with the biggest disappointment of the season award. We all know who this is gonna be, it was pretty clear from the second the season started who this would be. Of course, it’s Jim the Vampire. With the great Zoe Watts entering regression for the first time, people wondered if now would be the time for Jim to step up and make his mark on the league and show off what he had. Of course, it’s Kyle, so he didn’t do that. Now, his stats might be decent, they might even be good for all I know, idk whats good or not to be entirely honest. But, because it’s Kyle, he gets no credit and is instead forced to be ashamed of what he has done, whatever that may be, I’m still trying to find out. He actually has quite a lot of all-purpose yards and plenty of touchdowns, 6 actually, but it could be more. Can you tell I haven’t thought this out at all? In all seriousness, there have been no disappointments on the Copperheads imo, except maybe Scott for not having any touchdowns. Cop-out I know, but it’s hard to find issues with the team when you’re on top of your conference with less than half your games to go. To give Kyle credit, he has been a great all-around back and the team would be worse off without him. God that hurt to say, hopefully no one tells him I said that.
That was my shameful attempt at acquiring money in this league. Please give me a job, I have a really good resume, I think. I’m sorry to anyone who reads this.