*The Australian Grand Tour with Shazam Hefner: Grayson Yates

[AnUnoriginalGuy]

SH: Heyhey, you existing ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a show that exists. I dunno, I’m running out of punchlines. It’s SHAZAM! with Shazam Hefner! Sorry for the long hiatus, some…stuff…happened between us and Roma Amir-Kani. But, enough of the past, let’s focus on the present! I’m taking a tour of all 8 major DSFL cities to help these fellas tell their life stories and help us know a bit more about them! Our guest today on the 3-part tour of our first city, Bondi Beach, is the Bondi Beach quarterback themselves, it’s the Silver Fox, Grayson Yates (@Arctic)! What you think about that nickname, big dog?

GY: Why am I a silver fox? I'm only 23 and my hair is brown, I will not stand for this slander!

SH: Well, I mean…your name IS Grayson. I thought it’d be cool. Better yet, how about this - how about you tell me what you want your nickname to be?

GY: I've never really had a nickname, but if I had to make one for myself I guess it would be Grayson "The Tractor" Yates. It pays homage to me growing up on a farm in Montana, and tractors are big and strong like me!

SH: Alright, let’s redo this intro, then! Welcome to SHAZAM! with Shazam Hefner, and my guest today is Grayson “the Tractor” Yates! Welcome to the show, Grayson!

GY: Thank you for having me! I'm happy to be here, hopefully this show ends better than the last one. I heard a rumor that Roma got fined for what he did, but it could be false.

SH: Yeah, nah, we ended up settling out of court, so everything should be good now. So, how are you? I know the flight from Sydney to Iowa’s a bitch, so thankfully I just came to y’all this time.

GY: I'm good! Usually, flights are trouble for a person as tall as me, but recently I've been lucky and have had lots of legroom. That is one of the major downsides of playing in Australia. I love living here but for every away game we play we have to take a super long flight.

SH: Really? Y’all don’t fly first class or whatever?

GY: We do! But for example going from Sydney to London is 10,552 miles. The average commercial plane goes around 500 miles an hour, so even with a nonstop flight it still takes around 21 hours. No matter how nice the plane you're on is, that's still a long time to be on a plane. It isn't all bad though, we find ways to pass the time. The most popular thing to do right now is play poker, but I'm so ungodly bad at it because I haven't ever played before this season. Hopefully I can improve to at least be average before the season ends.

SH: Well, if your poker skills get as good as your quarterbacking skills, you’ll be good. Ooh, speaking of which - as the quarterback for Bondi, you’re filling in some big shoes after Bageshwari Singh left for Berlin. How does it feel filling those shoes up?

GY: I've never met him and I have no ill will towards him, but I feel like I'm not just filling in his shoes, my feet have already grown too big for them. In his last season he threw 14 touchdowns and 15 interceptions... not the best ratio if you ask me.  I'm on pace to throw more touchdowns and less interceptions, and my combination of size and speed is unheard for a quarterback. I open up a whole new facet for this teams rushing offense, I've already broken the single game rushing yards record and the longest single rush record. I think I'm well on my way to leading this team to the playoffs, and further solidifying myself as one of the best Buccaneers quarterbacks ever in just my first year.

SH: It won’t be as easy as it seems, though. You’re in a fight currently with Norfolk for the #2 spot in the DSFL South. Do you think you’ll beat them?

GY: For sure. Mainly because they have a goofy name, what even is a seawolf? And their logo is a submarine, which isn't a wolf at all, it makes no sense. Buccaneers is a way cooler name.

SH: I mean, a seawolf was a type of submarine that fought in…I wanna say World War II? Pretty sure it was made in Norfolk, so…yeah.

GY: I still think that Buccaneers are cooler. One thing I will say about the Seawolves is I respect Pete Zuh, he scorched us in my first ever game and I'll always remember that.

SH: Ooh, yeah, your games themselves. Speaking of them, I’m gonna take you on a trip down memory lane: what would the best and worst game of your short career be, and why?

GY: I think my worst game would have to week 2, I know we won that game by quite a bit, but I hate throwing three interceptions. Giving up 3 possessions can single handedly lose you a game, luckily that time it didn't.  For my best game, it would be week 5. Everything in the offense was working, that was the game where I broke the rushing records. I hope soon I can consistently put up rushing yards like that.

SH: Yeah, really crazy, your rushing yards. It’s crazy how Bondi’s gone from a “balanced” team to an extremely run-heavy team. Now, let’s head to the draft - or, rather, your lack of. You were an undrafted free agent pickup, taken after draft night. Does that affect you mentally, or are you completely fine with it?

GY: I was a little surprised that I didn't get drafted, mainly because I had a few teams scout me. But I understand though, Montana State isn't a very known school and I ended up declaring for the draft late because of some paperwork issues. I'm mainly just grateful Glims and Artix gave me a chance, I hope I can prove to the team that they made the right choice in picking me up.

SH: That chance really has paid off - from what I’ve seen, you’ve been the recipient of…I think 3 game balls? How does it feel?

GY: It feels great! I'm really happy with how my first season has started off, I think we are primed to make the playoffs. I couldn't do it without the rest of my team though, I owe my success to the offensive line, my receiving core and the defense.

SH: Well, since you love your team so much, how about we get your honest opinions about them! It’s time for a session of “Quick Thinks!” Alright, so rules are simple - I say a name, you give me a sentence or two about ‘em. Sound fun?

GY: Sure!

SH: Alright, teammate number one: your running back room of Bean Delphine and Udo E. Beaty.

GY: Bean is a cool guy, he helped me learn the playbook so I owe him for that. He hasn't talked to me recently though, I think he's mad I broke his rushing record. Udo is a quiet guy, hard worker. I recently got drafted to a team that he plays for in another league so hopefully I'll get to know him better. Both are extremely talented though. There's a reason our team enforces a run heavy offense.

SH: Now let’s talk receiving - Derrick Prince, Dip Dhillon, Reece Wells.

GY: Dip might be the best wide receiver I've ever played with. I've never seen anything like his speed, if you let him out into the open field it's over. If we continue to develop together we could be the best QB-WR duo in the DSFL. Reece is everything you could ask for in a tight end. He has good speed, blocks well and is an imposing red zone threat. Derrick is a cool guy, not only talented in football but also in graphic design. He also is a great returner for our team.

SH: Alright, now lets go on defense - the d-line. McThumper, Thwomp, Stryker, Hartline.

GY: McThumper is the leader of the defense, leading the team in tackles for loss and tied 1st in interceptions. Him and Hartline have all you could ask for in a linebacker core. Stryker and Thwomp are nice guys, but man are they not fun to go against in practice. It's always scary to see them rushing towards you, I'm really glad they're on my team.

SH: Last but not least- the defensive backs. Jason X, Altidor, Murray, R. Ticks and Hopkins.

GY: Jason is awesome, I think he's easily proven himself to have been worth the first overall pick. He's a great leader, it's very telling that he's a team captain in just his first year. Hopkins and Ticks work well with him too, I think we have a great corner group. I don't know Altidor or Murray that well, but I see them putting that work in during practice.

SH: Well, you’ve probably got a lineup that’ll hopefully make it all the way. We’ve got a few more questions before we leave - do you believe your inability to make the cut for the DSFL draft affected your relationships with other teams?

GY: I don't think so. I don't hold a grudge against any of the teams for not drafting me. My main focus is on my play so that I make them regret not drafting me.

SH: This next one might be a bit upsetting - a recent team review post stated that in order for the Bucs to make the playoffs, they would have to “ trust their new QB a bit more.” Do you feel as if you’ve gained that trust within the team?

GY: I think most of our passing struggles are on me not being accurate enough and relying to much on my rushing abilities. I have full faith in my coaches and I know they trust me and soon we should be able to improve our passing offense.

SH: Last question before we wrap it all up. What’s been the greatest moment living here in Australia? A farm boy, grew up in Montana, moving all the way down south. What are your thoughts?

GY: It's obviously been very different, it's so much hotter, there's a lot of slang I don't know and I have to get used to driving on the left side. But overall I've love it here. I think my favorite moment in Australia has the be going out on the field for first time during our first home game. The support we get here is crazy, and I'd never played in a stadium that big before.

SH: Well, we’ve got a surprise for you - to help celebrate your first year in Australia, our sponsor Omaha Steaks is sending a month long supply of steaks for you, your family and your buddies to enjoy in the backyard! The weekly set comes with 4 cut top sirloins, 8 boneless pork chops, 8 boneless chicken breasts, 8 Omaha Steaks burgers, 1 jar of Omaha Steaks seasoning and, for dessert, 4 caramel apple tartlets. Omaha Steaks - Above and Beyond, Everyday. We’re almost done, but before we go offline, do you wanna say anything?

GY: Thank you for the steaks and having me on this show! My first season has been better than I ever could've imagined, and I'm excited to lead Bondi Beach to the playoffs!

SH: Alright, that’s all the time we got! Thank you so much, Mr. Yates, for appearing on the show today! Next time, we’ll be going on part 2 of the 3-part Australia Grand Tour! Till next time, I’m Shazam Hefner, and I’ll be seeing you for another dinkum episode of Shazam!

Code:

80 Arctic, 20 me

We’re not actually sponsored by Omaha Steaks.

[Arctic]

So.... no steaks?

[AnUnoriginalGuy]

I never said no steaks.