09-26-2022, 06:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2022, 11:26 AM by dude_man. Edited 1 time in total.)
With Week 16's slate of games completed, the Season 37 ISFL playoffs are set and will begin the ritual of smashing the hopes of five more fanbases until a champion is crowned and the Ultimus Trophy is awarded. Let us get to the contestants.
ASFC
- Arizona Outlaws - 11-5 1st in ASFC
This franchise has made the playoffs for 11 straight seasons with literally one Ultimus appearance in all of those playoff berths. There is literally only 1 player on this roster during this entire stretch in L'Gazzy Burfict so to me it seems more that the franchise itself is cursed instead of any schematic or roster construction flaws. The key piece to this team needs no introduction in Jay Cue Jr., along with Wendell Sailor actually throwing the ball well this season compared to Season 36 where he seemed to have dropped his brain into a fishbowl before taking the field. Wide receiver Kotoni Staggs' mind melding chemistry with Wendell helps the passing game immensely as well. All of these come together to form the highest scoring offense this season. The defense was bolstered with several marquee free agent signings in Mark Goodhead locking down the secondary, and signing the McTurtle twins in Leonardo and Raphael, the latter of which a near guaranteed All-Pro Interior Defensive Lineman. Rookie linebacker Akaki Akayre was a flexible piece in both coverage and pass rushing. With all that however their defense statistically is at best below average, allowing 9th most points and 12th most yards this season. In particular the run defense is a major issue, allowing the 2nd most rushing yards per game, a major matchup nightmare with the 2 seed.
- New Orleans Secondline - 9-7 2nd in ASFC
Oh the joys of having a competent quarterback. After the past several seasons of a middling and recently atrophying IsHe ReallyInvisible (who has now switched to an offensive lineman), the New Orleans Secondline have found a revelation in second year quarterback Elessar Jones, albeit the passing game isn't the main engine to the offense, seeing as Jones threw the least attempts in the league this season. The Stig continues to perform as a top running back barreling for 1500 yards and eight touchdowns. Jones himself has added to the running game as he's a threat to take off out of the pocket on every snap. The team's defense at best slightly above average and at worst near the bottom of the league depending on which statistics are charted. In points per game they're great, in yards they are mid, and in pass defense it is a struggle.
- Honolulu Hahalua - 9-7 3rd in ASFC
The back to back Ultimus champions Honolulu Hahalua are back again for their chance at a three peat in what is likely their final year of legitimate contention, seeing as several players on the roster are either atrophying or are retiring at the end of the playoffs. These players include: Dexter Zaylren (QB), Buffalo Hunter (RB), Sal Ami (WR), Cade Williams (DL), and Eleven Kendrick Watts (DB). Unfortunate for the Hahalua is that offensive lineman Lane Frost II is retiring despite being several seasons from regression. Talking about the team's performance this season they were fine. Just fine isn't enough for another Ultimus trophy but is obviously difficult when half the roster is on the wrong side of 30 and have all lost a step.
NSFC
- Sarasota Sailfish - 12-4 1st in NSFC
The Sarasota Sailfish match their record from last season, this time posting the best record in the ISFL. Unlike last year's squad this year's Sailfish team did not also have the most points scored and least points allowed. They still have the 2nd highest scoring offense this season that also gained the most yards in the league. The main engine of this offense is the duo of quarterback Carter Knight and wide receiver Nick Kaepercolin Jr. Kaep Jr. in particular has been an elite redzone threat scoring the most receiving touchdowns for the third straight season. Carter, while not an MVP candidate, still threw the ball for over 4600 yards again, and on 5 attempts less per game than last season. The Sailfish defense is anchored by a solid defensive line that excelled in all aspects, in particular run stopping. With likely All-Pro Defensive Lineman Lennay Kekua and the old stalwart in David Moyes, opposing running backs are going to be tested relentlessly.
- Yellowknife Wraiths - 11-5 2nd in NSFC
This Wraiths defense has finally aged up to where they have become an absolute force on the field, allowing the least amount of points in the ISFL at under 20 points per game. This also includes the least amount of yards allowed, 2nd best run defense, and 5th best pass defense. The names on this defense leave fans in awe of the collection of talent on one roster: Daron Arnold, Jay Spears, Leonard Taylor, Kahn Cussion, Simon the Frog, Kalam Mekhar, Zephyr Greywolf. To watch this defense play is like watching a boa constrictor squeeze the life out of something. It is an oppressive, smothering force. The only problem with this defense is with the absolute mediocrity attached to its hip known as the Yellowknife Wraiths offense. Bottom five in every metric in terms of points and yardage, this offense could absolutely kill a playoff run before it starts. I could go into particulars, put I will just leave you with this.
- Chicago Butchers - 10-6 3rd in NSFC
This is the closest I've seen an offense resemble a stampede of raging bulls whenever they hand the ball off. Such is the case when your running back is Lalu Muhammad Zohri. Zorhi continues to be the best running back not named Jay Cue Jr. posting 1600 yards and 17 touchdowns on the ground. In the passing game, Kazimir Oles Jr. continues to enjoy a wide selection of weapons, most notably Rejoignez LordeSombre and Vincent Sharpei Jr. This has been a defensively stellar unit as well, posting the 2nd lowest scoring defense in the league. This is a defense that boasts not one but two players with over 15 sacks in Omni Man and Dexter Hall. If that didn't help matters, pretty much every receiver was covered by the quartet of Art Deco, Tim Soulja, Tessie Garciaparra, and Dee Walt.
My prediction for these playoffs is a rematch of Season 36's Ultimus of the Honolulu Hahalua vs the Sarasota Sailfish. Honolulu because I think New Orleans is still a bit too green and because Arizona is cursed to always lose in the ASFC Conference Final. Sarasota is because they have an absolutely electric offense that cannot be stopped unless the offense is quarterbacked by the likes of Bozo Knight instead of Carter.
ASFC
- Arizona Outlaws - 11-5 1st in ASFC
This franchise has made the playoffs for 11 straight seasons with literally one Ultimus appearance in all of those playoff berths. There is literally only 1 player on this roster during this entire stretch in L'Gazzy Burfict so to me it seems more that the franchise itself is cursed instead of any schematic or roster construction flaws. The key piece to this team needs no introduction in Jay Cue Jr., along with Wendell Sailor actually throwing the ball well this season compared to Season 36 where he seemed to have dropped his brain into a fishbowl before taking the field. Wide receiver Kotoni Staggs' mind melding chemistry with Wendell helps the passing game immensely as well. All of these come together to form the highest scoring offense this season. The defense was bolstered with several marquee free agent signings in Mark Goodhead locking down the secondary, and signing the McTurtle twins in Leonardo and Raphael, the latter of which a near guaranteed All-Pro Interior Defensive Lineman. Rookie linebacker Akaki Akayre was a flexible piece in both coverage and pass rushing. With all that however their defense statistically is at best below average, allowing 9th most points and 12th most yards this season. In particular the run defense is a major issue, allowing the 2nd most rushing yards per game, a major matchup nightmare with the 2 seed.
- New Orleans Secondline - 9-7 2nd in ASFC
Oh the joys of having a competent quarterback. After the past several seasons of a middling and recently atrophying IsHe ReallyInvisible (who has now switched to an offensive lineman), the New Orleans Secondline have found a revelation in second year quarterback Elessar Jones, albeit the passing game isn't the main engine to the offense, seeing as Jones threw the least attempts in the league this season. The Stig continues to perform as a top running back barreling for 1500 yards and eight touchdowns. Jones himself has added to the running game as he's a threat to take off out of the pocket on every snap. The team's defense at best slightly above average and at worst near the bottom of the league depending on which statistics are charted. In points per game they're great, in yards they are mid, and in pass defense it is a struggle.
- Honolulu Hahalua - 9-7 3rd in ASFC
The back to back Ultimus champions Honolulu Hahalua are back again for their chance at a three peat in what is likely their final year of legitimate contention, seeing as several players on the roster are either atrophying or are retiring at the end of the playoffs. These players include: Dexter Zaylren (QB), Buffalo Hunter (RB), Sal Ami (WR), Cade Williams (DL), and Eleven Kendrick Watts (DB). Unfortunate for the Hahalua is that offensive lineman Lane Frost II is retiring despite being several seasons from regression. Talking about the team's performance this season they were fine. Just fine isn't enough for another Ultimus trophy but is obviously difficult when half the roster is on the wrong side of 30 and have all lost a step.
NSFC
- Sarasota Sailfish - 12-4 1st in NSFC
The Sarasota Sailfish match their record from last season, this time posting the best record in the ISFL. Unlike last year's squad this year's Sailfish team did not also have the most points scored and least points allowed. They still have the 2nd highest scoring offense this season that also gained the most yards in the league. The main engine of this offense is the duo of quarterback Carter Knight and wide receiver Nick Kaepercolin Jr. Kaep Jr. in particular has been an elite redzone threat scoring the most receiving touchdowns for the third straight season. Carter, while not an MVP candidate, still threw the ball for over 4600 yards again, and on 5 attempts less per game than last season. The Sailfish defense is anchored by a solid defensive line that excelled in all aspects, in particular run stopping. With likely All-Pro Defensive Lineman Lennay Kekua and the old stalwart in David Moyes, opposing running backs are going to be tested relentlessly.
- Yellowknife Wraiths - 11-5 2nd in NSFC
This Wraiths defense has finally aged up to where they have become an absolute force on the field, allowing the least amount of points in the ISFL at under 20 points per game. This also includes the least amount of yards allowed, 2nd best run defense, and 5th best pass defense. The names on this defense leave fans in awe of the collection of talent on one roster: Daron Arnold, Jay Spears, Leonard Taylor, Kahn Cussion, Simon the Frog, Kalam Mekhar, Zephyr Greywolf. To watch this defense play is like watching a boa constrictor squeeze the life out of something. It is an oppressive, smothering force. The only problem with this defense is with the absolute mediocrity attached to its hip known as the Yellowknife Wraiths offense. Bottom five in every metric in terms of points and yardage, this offense could absolutely kill a playoff run before it starts. I could go into particulars, put I will just leave you with this.
- Chicago Butchers - 10-6 3rd in NSFC
This is the closest I've seen an offense resemble a stampede of raging bulls whenever they hand the ball off. Such is the case when your running back is Lalu Muhammad Zohri. Zorhi continues to be the best running back not named Jay Cue Jr. posting 1600 yards and 17 touchdowns on the ground. In the passing game, Kazimir Oles Jr. continues to enjoy a wide selection of weapons, most notably Rejoignez LordeSombre and Vincent Sharpei Jr. This has been a defensively stellar unit as well, posting the 2nd lowest scoring defense in the league. This is a defense that boasts not one but two players with over 15 sacks in Omni Man and Dexter Hall. If that didn't help matters, pretty much every receiver was covered by the quartet of Art Deco, Tim Soulja, Tessie Garciaparra, and Dee Walt.
My prediction for these playoffs is a rematch of Season 36's Ultimus of the Honolulu Hahalua vs the Sarasota Sailfish. Honolulu because I think New Orleans is still a bit too green and because Arizona is cursed to always lose in the ASFC Conference Final. Sarasota is because they have an absolutely electric offense that cannot be stopped unless the offense is quarterbacked by the likes of Bozo Knight instead of Carter.