*REAL Mid-Season Power Rankings

**Jaywe88**

These are my definitive power rankings given it’s halfway through the season and I haven’t written enough to justify this horrible, horrible bet I’m about to place in the sportsbook. I get that they say gamble responsibly but responsibility doesn’t pay for T6 equipment! (Jobs and being good at ISFL fantasy does, contact me for a job opening)

1. Tijuana Luchadores TIJ

(4-3)

It’s no surprise that the Tijuana Luchadores are at the top of my list, for I am just unapologetically biased. Our losses are close (ignore week 2) and our hearts are full. We have the best defense in the league, points-wise and an active roster that spans decades. Let’s look at offense.

Llyod Bannings, the banhammer. A young QB who somehow fell down the draft boards into our lap. 17 Tuddies, 5 anti-tuddies. That’s probably the best ratio in the DSFL and no, I won’t fact check that. Don’t tell me to check out the film on Smokin Jay, cigarettes kill thousands every year. Llyod is the future, Llyod is the way. Don’t tell me it’s spelled wrong, I won’t change it.

Gucci Gurley and Kyle Crane. Double up on that rush defense cuz the boys are rolling through. With a combined average of 5.1 yards per carry, they’re not too be trifled with. Gurley’s biggest run is 19 yards. Do you realize how wild that he still has a 5.4 yard average without any outliers to affect that number? Perhaps the biggest simulation crime I’ve seen is that Crane has yet to receive a tuddy. If anyone understands sacrifice, it’s him. We will change that today.

Let’s throw out some names. Benji Aguilera, Eli Prince, Garrett “Garrett” Cheetahman, Orga Panda, Ollie O’Conner, Anthony Motherf** Simmons II, Jake Basinger. All of these dudes are a menace on the field. You wanna hear something crazy?

Benji and Wli have the exact same yardage, same YPR, same catches, same TD count. Wild.

All of these dudes contribute to the offense. Our offensive line, Boija/Melvin. Stay blocking. Tijuana cannot be sacked.

Defense, we got stacked up too.

Dub Redd. Sack machine. FF god.

Synyster Gates, Ezra Azazel, Ryan Knock. Take it to the house. All three of these Luchas have a defensive touchdown. Did I mention Ezra just swapped to secondary? He got bored dominating the run game and wanted to score on every side of the ball he can. I’m gonna put him as our kicker next so he can lob a ball up and catch it for a tuddy. Ryan woke up hungry for the ball and isn’t even in our secondary. Synyster stays spooky with 10 PDs. Lockdown. Did I mention our safety squad?

Halcomsby, Cook. Stay cooking? Stay intercepting the ball actually. 5 INTs between them so far and many more down the line. This team is equipped for all sorts of challenges.

Have you heard of Logjammed? He’s too busy sacking your QB. Six times, to be exact. Talent.

Spooky Diddler? More like Spooky MENACE.

Yes, we had a kicker change. Yes the wind has been brutal to him. But do you know what I saw Lewis Monsieur do last week? Kick. All practice. Anything you threw his way. That leg is beefy and you’re going to see some long ones this week.

Tijuana is #1.

8. The rest of the teams. DAL