03-17-2024, 12:43 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-19-2024, 10:11 AM by wetwilleh. Edited 2 times in total.)
Using my 2x on this one
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Dason Dehorn's Season: A review.
The DSFL draft went poorly or great depending on how you think about it. Dehorn was drafted real late. Real real late. I’m talking the 7th round. It was a disappointment to him and his family, but he landed in basically a dream location. Lt. Hudz had already been helping me with my updates and just navigating the forums in general so I was happy to have him as a GM. I would also start as the CB2 so I had time to develop. We were a competitive team preseason and I was excited for Dehorn to get into it.
Unfortunately, preseason was unforgiving. I remember turning on the stream for the first time and just watching number 42 give up bomb after bomb. When watching the game I was quoted saying “I look like Eli Apple out here.” The start of the regular season was only slightly better. My opposing production would become manageable but there would be 2-3 plays a game that would just not be pretty at all.
Week 5 Dason Dehorn made it onto the casino. He needed over 1 and a half passes defended. That’s all. Just two passes defended. They played against Dallas with at the time one of the better pass games in the DSFL. (Lane Frost the third would get called up to the ISFL later). Unfortunately, Dallas decided that running the ball was their best course of action. Dason Dehorn would get 0 pass breakups. Originally I was going to apologize to all the believers who took my over that I let down, but no, we won, the other team, Dallas, was to blame. Screw them. They are the reason you guys all lost your millions of dollars.
A pivotal moment of Dason Dehorn’s first DSFL season was when he effectively got benched ahead of the Duck’s week 7 game against the Tijuana Luchadores. Chicken Lips sent me the following message in my private channel: “@modpro just wanted to give you a heads up. We are shuffling the positions going into our two games tomorrow. Because of the speed of the TIJ receivers we are pulling Atox up to cb1 and dixon up to cb2. Flexing you to FS and NB.” While I did not literally get benched I got booted down to free safety and nickelback (yuck). I do not resent my GMs, Lt Hudz and Chicken Lips, for this decision. It was probably a smart one with Pitter Patter, Benn, and that tight end Tijuana had, all having over 85 speed, with some of them getting up into the 90s. Despite the adjustment on the Grey Duck’s end, TIjuana still pulled out the win over us (With Pitter Patter still having 10 catches for over 140 yards). This would be the last game Dehorn would play lower than CB 1 for the rest of the season. Micah Dixon, the CB 1 up to that point, had missed two weeks of IA checks, and had gotten demoted to CB 3. It was showtime for Dason Dehorn.
Week 8 was our rematch against Tijuana. Benn would go for over 140 yards and a TD, but that was on the other corner. Dehorn held Pitter Patter to under 50 yards. Minnesota won 24-17. SUIIIIIIIII. In the Ducks’ Week 9 matchup against the London Royals, Dehorn would hold capped wide receiver, Chopper Don Quixote, to 65 yards (Remember that name….).
Dehorn’s best stretch of the season would come in weeks 11 to 13. Over that span Dehorn would give up just 52 yards per game against the likes of JJ What, Maria Teresa de La Rosa, and future number one overall ISFL draft pick, Brad Woof. This achievement would be more impressive due to the fact that JJ What had 89 yards due to a garbage time reception, and the number one overall pick, Brad Woof, was held to 26 yards. Dehorn was really coming into his own as a premier DSFL corner… or so we thought.
The red flags would show up week 14 against the Kansas City Coyotes, where future first rounder, Tim Riggins, would put up 97 yards and a touchdown against Dason Dehorn, with a lot of those yards coming on a bomb late in the game that nearly threw the game had it not been for a crazy two minute drill from the Ducks to kick a game winning field goal. Then came the Conference Championship game against the London Royals. Dehorn did decently in regulation time, although he did give up a bomb that would lead to a touchdown. Other than that he kept Chopper Don Quixote relatively in check. That would all change when in overtime Dehorn bit on a route and got dusted. The catch and run went for 83 yards and subsequently London scored the game sealing touchdown to send them to the Ultimini.
I was casting this game with Chicken Lips. The sadness that encapsulated the Minnesota Grey Ducks locker room was unbearable. Our quarterback, Tua Turntheballova, not blameless with his absurd interception numbers, was moving on to either the void of inactivity or the ISFL. Had Dehorn broken up that pass as opposed allowing that 83 yard gain, the Ducks could have easily won the Ultimini. Tijuana got upset by the Dallas bird dogs round one as well, and we had had absurd success against Dallas this season.
Dehorn could not be surprised when after this embarrassment of a loss, he slipped in the draft. Team after team drafted player after player above him. Many of these players had the same position, but a lower TPE count. It didn’t matter (Future media may come out on all players drafted ahead of me if my player succeeds in the ISFL). His success against Brad Woof holding him to 26 yards? Irrelevant. He went first overall. The playoffs are where it matters most and Dehorn failed to convert. When he was finally selected by the Austin Copperheads at 43rd overall in the draft, he knew he had to make a change. Dason Dehorn is no more. Instead we have a much more brutish and more powerful figure. A blitzing linebacker who goes by the name of Bull Dozier. May Dason Dehorn rest in peace.
With such a dramatic build up and a 5 star season in the making, only to end catastrophically in the playoffs, I can only give Dason Dehorn’s DSFL season 3 stars.
P.S. My wiki is going to be hella fucked because Bull Dozier will have all the details and such that Dason Dehorn had.
---------------------------------
Dason Dehorn's Season: A review.
The DSFL draft went poorly or great depending on how you think about it. Dehorn was drafted real late. Real real late. I’m talking the 7th round. It was a disappointment to him and his family, but he landed in basically a dream location. Lt. Hudz had already been helping me with my updates and just navigating the forums in general so I was happy to have him as a GM. I would also start as the CB2 so I had time to develop. We were a competitive team preseason and I was excited for Dehorn to get into it.
Unfortunately, preseason was unforgiving. I remember turning on the stream for the first time and just watching number 42 give up bomb after bomb. When watching the game I was quoted saying “I look like Eli Apple out here.” The start of the regular season was only slightly better. My opposing production would become manageable but there would be 2-3 plays a game that would just not be pretty at all.
Week 5 Dason Dehorn made it onto the casino. He needed over 1 and a half passes defended. That’s all. Just two passes defended. They played against Dallas with at the time one of the better pass games in the DSFL. (Lane Frost the third would get called up to the ISFL later). Unfortunately, Dallas decided that running the ball was their best course of action. Dason Dehorn would get 0 pass breakups. Originally I was going to apologize to all the believers who took my over that I let down, but no, we won, the other team, Dallas, was to blame. Screw them. They are the reason you guys all lost your millions of dollars.
A pivotal moment of Dason Dehorn’s first DSFL season was when he effectively got benched ahead of the Duck’s week 7 game against the Tijuana Luchadores. Chicken Lips sent me the following message in my private channel: “@modpro just wanted to give you a heads up. We are shuffling the positions going into our two games tomorrow. Because of the speed of the TIJ receivers we are pulling Atox up to cb1 and dixon up to cb2. Flexing you to FS and NB.” While I did not literally get benched I got booted down to free safety and nickelback (yuck). I do not resent my GMs, Lt Hudz and Chicken Lips, for this decision. It was probably a smart one with Pitter Patter, Benn, and that tight end Tijuana had, all having over 85 speed, with some of them getting up into the 90s. Despite the adjustment on the Grey Duck’s end, TIjuana still pulled out the win over us (With Pitter Patter still having 10 catches for over 140 yards). This would be the last game Dehorn would play lower than CB 1 for the rest of the season. Micah Dixon, the CB 1 up to that point, had missed two weeks of IA checks, and had gotten demoted to CB 3. It was showtime for Dason Dehorn.
Week 8 was our rematch against Tijuana. Benn would go for over 140 yards and a TD, but that was on the other corner. Dehorn held Pitter Patter to under 50 yards. Minnesota won 24-17. SUIIIIIIIII. In the Ducks’ Week 9 matchup against the London Royals, Dehorn would hold capped wide receiver, Chopper Don Quixote, to 65 yards (Remember that name….).
Dehorn’s best stretch of the season would come in weeks 11 to 13. Over that span Dehorn would give up just 52 yards per game against the likes of JJ What, Maria Teresa de La Rosa, and future number one overall ISFL draft pick, Brad Woof. This achievement would be more impressive due to the fact that JJ What had 89 yards due to a garbage time reception, and the number one overall pick, Brad Woof, was held to 26 yards. Dehorn was really coming into his own as a premier DSFL corner… or so we thought.
The red flags would show up week 14 against the Kansas City Coyotes, where future first rounder, Tim Riggins, would put up 97 yards and a touchdown against Dason Dehorn, with a lot of those yards coming on a bomb late in the game that nearly threw the game had it not been for a crazy two minute drill from the Ducks to kick a game winning field goal. Then came the Conference Championship game against the London Royals. Dehorn did decently in regulation time, although he did give up a bomb that would lead to a touchdown. Other than that he kept Chopper Don Quixote relatively in check. That would all change when in overtime Dehorn bit on a route and got dusted. The catch and run went for 83 yards and subsequently London scored the game sealing touchdown to send them to the Ultimini.
I was casting this game with Chicken Lips. The sadness that encapsulated the Minnesota Grey Ducks locker room was unbearable. Our quarterback, Tua Turntheballova, not blameless with his absurd interception numbers, was moving on to either the void of inactivity or the ISFL. Had Dehorn broken up that pass as opposed allowing that 83 yard gain, the Ducks could have easily won the Ultimini. Tijuana got upset by the Dallas bird dogs round one as well, and we had had absurd success against Dallas this season.
Dehorn could not be surprised when after this embarrassment of a loss, he slipped in the draft. Team after team drafted player after player above him. Many of these players had the same position, but a lower TPE count. It didn’t matter (Future media may come out on all players drafted ahead of me if my player succeeds in the ISFL). His success against Brad Woof holding him to 26 yards? Irrelevant. He went first overall. The playoffs are where it matters most and Dehorn failed to convert. When he was finally selected by the Austin Copperheads at 43rd overall in the draft, he knew he had to make a change. Dason Dehorn is no more. Instead we have a much more brutish and more powerful figure. A blitzing linebacker who goes by the name of Bull Dozier. May Dason Dehorn rest in peace.
With such a dramatic build up and a 5 star season in the making, only to end catastrophically in the playoffs, I can only give Dason Dehorn’s DSFL season 3 stars.
P.S. My wiki is going to be hella fucked because Bull Dozier will have all the details and such that Dason Dehorn had.