03-24-2024, 11:08 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2024, 08:35 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 3 times in total.)
The Doghouse caught enigmatic rookie Rusty Shackleferd, LB for the Tijuana Luchadores, exiting the training facility earlier today. When asked about his abrupt entrance to the scene, he had this to say,
“First of all, call me Ferd please. Let me tell you, four days ago I was chasing a duo of kobolds between the barstools and table legs of this place called the Yawning Portal. Those little buggers had spent the last week pinching the purses of any sorry soul that found themselves with heavy pockets and a dry throat bellying up to the bar. I damn near caught the biggest - you see, he was doing all the heavy lifting – when he pitched his haul between his legs to the smaller one. You could tell he was the brains of the operation, but his legs weren’t up to covering the expenses his plans had been accruing. I buried my shoulder up underneath his chin and the two of us went flying towards this big stone well – the kind you draw water from – they had smack dab in the middle of the dance floor. The kobold took the brunt of the damage, I heard him let out this funny little squeaky wheeze, but I ended up tumbling over the side of that well and falling for what felt like ages.”
“Next thing I know, I come to – deeper in my cups than I’d ever been – alongside a few fellas in the same state of mind, in a place I’d never seen before. They told me there weren’t no kobolds round here, but plenty of folks to chase down. Four days later I’m here, slinging weights and smacking pads with some of the biggest and fastest folks I’ve ever seen.”
Ferd continued, discussing what he looks to bring to the Luchadores,
“Look, I ain’t claiming to be the best chaser out here, but it’s what I’ve done since before I could run. I thought I was good, but after today, I can tell you without a doubt there’s plenty better. But I got what it takes, and I’m looking to show that to any of you who’d care to see it. I’m gonna keep on slinging those weights, and keep on smacking those pads till I’m just as big and just as fast. Then we’ll be talking underneath a rain of confetti, and you’ll be dying to hear about what I have done, instead of what I plan to do.”
Ferd for sure seems like one to keep an eye on in the coming seasons. Until then, look no further than The Doghouse, where we keep our ears to the ground for you.
“First of all, call me Ferd please. Let me tell you, four days ago I was chasing a duo of kobolds between the barstools and table legs of this place called the Yawning Portal. Those little buggers had spent the last week pinching the purses of any sorry soul that found themselves with heavy pockets and a dry throat bellying up to the bar. I damn near caught the biggest - you see, he was doing all the heavy lifting – when he pitched his haul between his legs to the smaller one. You could tell he was the brains of the operation, but his legs weren’t up to covering the expenses his plans had been accruing. I buried my shoulder up underneath his chin and the two of us went flying towards this big stone well – the kind you draw water from – they had smack dab in the middle of the dance floor. The kobold took the brunt of the damage, I heard him let out this funny little squeaky wheeze, but I ended up tumbling over the side of that well and falling for what felt like ages.”
“Next thing I know, I come to – deeper in my cups than I’d ever been – alongside a few fellas in the same state of mind, in a place I’d never seen before. They told me there weren’t no kobolds round here, but plenty of folks to chase down. Four days later I’m here, slinging weights and smacking pads with some of the biggest and fastest folks I’ve ever seen.”
Ferd continued, discussing what he looks to bring to the Luchadores,
“Look, I ain’t claiming to be the best chaser out here, but it’s what I’ve done since before I could run. I thought I was good, but after today, I can tell you without a doubt there’s plenty better. But I got what it takes, and I’m looking to show that to any of you who’d care to see it. I’m gonna keep on slinging those weights, and keep on smacking those pads till I’m just as big and just as fast. Then we’ll be talking underneath a rain of confetti, and you’ll be dying to hear about what I have done, instead of what I plan to do.”
Ferd for sure seems like one to keep an eye on in the coming seasons. Until then, look no further than The Doghouse, where we keep our ears to the ground for you.
