03-30-2024, 02:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-03-2024, 11:49 AM by wetwilleh. Edited 1 time in total.)
The following are a series of game ball, or as they referred to in Bondi, doubloon, presentations through the 46th season of the Developmental Sports Football League. We are told that the General Manager giving out the doubloons, one Triceracop, has a reputation for being overly exuberant after a win.
We want readers to be the judge.
Week 3 vs Dallas
What a statement win for us, in front of the home crowd at Emu War Memorial Stadium.
Putting up 233 yards through the air and 268 on the ground, and only giving up 20 points against the highest rated passing offense in the league. On offense we saw The Captain Dru Freduci, running back, put up 131 yards and a touchdown, as well as María Teresa de la Rosa with 127 yards through the air as well as a touchdown. But this offensive game ball has to go to the undeniable Bugs putting up 299 total yards and accounting for 3 touchdowns.
Defensively we were flying around the field. A certain inactive rookie accounted for 5 tackles and 3 pass deflections, while the world's fastest football playing bird Speed Hawk notched 4 tackles, and 1 sack. However, the bright spot for this game and the recipient of this defensive game ball is none other than our defensive captain Walter Yensid who racked up 3 tackles, 4 pass deflections, AND A PICK!
Week 4 @ Portland
This game we decided we were going to run through a motherfucker, and wouldn't you know it? We sure did.
Offense put up 159 rushing yards, with Dru Freduci getting the lion's share of the touches and ending up only one short of the nicest number with 68 yards. The spawn of the devil, and perhaps of the Matrix, Bugs ran through them for 74 and ripped beautiful passes to put up 230 and 4 touchdowns through the air, with a single pick as the only blemish on the stat line. This offensive game ball has to go to María Teresa de la Rosa for a solid 109 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns to really take the fight out of Portland.
Defense! Way to show out and keep these jokers to only two field goals after the first quarter. Defensive captain Walter Yensid notched 6 tackles and 2 PDs, and returning veteran Leo Simon Schwartz got himself fed with five tackles and a fantastic sack. The defensive game ball will be going to the only person in this server who has actually played tackle football Speed Hawk who accounted for 13 tackles and a sack, smothering the Pythons running game before it even got started.
Great week of dotsball crew, let's keep this shit rolling!
Week 6 vs Snorefolk Stinkwolves
What a fucking game, crew. So much back and forth, a lot of ups and downs, but we knuckled down and put up a fucking DUB against our most hated conference rival.
Let's get started with defense here, who held a high octane nuclear powered offense to 27 points. Shouts of course have to go to our waiver pickup sensation Matt Wilkins for putting up 10 tackles, 3 of which were for losses. And we can't forget the other leg of the Bermuda Triangle, the world's fastest linebacker Speed Hawk putting up 5 of his own tackles as well as a sack. But this solid gold doubloon is going to none other than Leo Simon Schwartz for getting a critical sack AS WELL AS a super clutch fumble recovery.
Offense, let's talk about the Greatest Show on Surf. All of you were balling out, spreading the ball around and running through that Norfolk defense like a goddamn tidal wave. Every receiver notched at least 3 receptions. Our beloved quarterback Bugs was slinging the rock and could do no wrong, with 295 yards and 3 touchdowns as well as 9 runs for 61 yards. Meo Stickyhands-McGee and María Teresa de la Rosa each put up solid games as our wide outs, with longs over 40 and averages over 20 yards. And I absolutely cannot forget the leader of The Armada McDripsen McDropsen for putting in a solid 8 pancakes! But this doubloon has to go to our veteran tight end and unknowable shadowy entity Local Cryptid for a 73 yard game with a 100% reception rate, a touchdown, and three pancakes.
Honorable BOT doubloon goes to Winnie the Pooh with 11 tackles, 1 for loss, and a forced fumble.
That's all for now, enjoy your weekends, crew.
P.S Kansas City, if you're somehow listening...this get back gonna be rough for you. Trust us.
(We here at the Midwestern Arcane are not sure how Triceracop knew we were listening in, and as of the writing of this article, are unsure if Kansas City were listening in as well.)
Week 8 vs Kansas City Coyotes
Offense I'm gonna start with you guys this week, and hot damn what a showing from all of you. All three of our active receivers caught touch downs, so big shouts to María Teresa de la Rosa, Meo Stickyhands-McGee, and our very own Local Cryptid. Offensive captain Dru Freduci put up a solid 84 yards against the Bozyotes, as well as 78 total special team yards. But this doubloon has to go to the one and only Bugs who put up 5 total touchdowns, 3 through the air and two by sea ground, and a grand total of 329 yards.
Defense, holy hell you guys played mad and I am HERE FOR IT. You played with a grudge after that 41-9 loss and held the Yotes to only 27 points. Bright spots were the ever productive Matt Wilkins with 10 tackles, 2 for loss and one sack as well as a pass deflection. Walter Yensid notched 6 tackles and 3 pass deflections of his own to lock down half of the field. But this defensive game ball will be going to the one and only Leo Simon Schwartz for 5 tackles, 1 sack, and a recovered fumble into a defensive touchdown!
The very special bot doubloon for this game will be going to Tigger TheTiger for 5 tackles and a PD.
Week 11 vs Portland Pythons
Kind of an ugly win, but a win is kind of like pizza. Even if its bad, its pretty great.
Defense lets break it down. That Portland offense didn't know what hit them with the way you guys were flying around the field. Our defensive captain Walter Yensid put up 5 tackles, a forced fumble and recovery, as well as a PD, while the one and only Speed Hawk also put up 4 tackles and a sack. This game's doubloon is going to have to go to Matt Wilkins for putting up 8 tackles and 1 sack, moving around the field and stopping the sneks in their tracks.
Offense was also all over the place, with Bugs putting up 288 yards and 3 touchdowns through the air for a 125.6 passer rating, as well as punching in another touchdown on the ground. Our newest Buc Zigzag Zipstep also got himself a touchdown, rushing for 38 yards behind Dru Freduci's own 78 yard performance. However, this doubloon is absolutely going to María Teresa de la Rosa for 134 yards and a touchdown on 6 receptions!
Bot doubloon will goes to Rabbit Therabbit for 9 tackles and a forced fumble and recovery.
Week 12 @ Dallas Birddogs
I don't say this lightly - this game was a certified banger. Like actually kind of a fucking crazy game. If you haven't watched the VOD, go watch it.
Bugs was slinging the rock all over the place, putting up 210 through the air and 2 touchdowns along with 34 yards on the ground. María Teresa de la Rosa and Meo Stickyhands-McGee, our dynamic receiving duo, created 90 and 67 yards of offense respectively as well as each putting up a touchdown. The offensive doubloon will have to go to Dru Freduci for a 91 yard performance along with punching in two touchdowns in the first quarter!
As for our defense, HOLY SHIT WHAT A GAME. Leo Simon Schwartz had himself a solid performance with 4 tackles, as did Speed Hawk getting 4 tackles as well as a sack. It also cannot be understated how epic Matt Wilkin's walk off pick 6 was in the last seconds of the game, truly a fantastic moment. But the doubloon goes to the one and only Walter Yensid who had a banner game. 9 tackles, 3 PDs, 1 INT, AND 2 FORCED FUMBLES AND RECOVERIES!
Bot doubloon for this game goes to Tigger Thetiger for a respectable 9 tackles.
This concludes the Midwestern Arcane's reporting on the doubloon ceremonies happening at Bondi Beach. We hope this has proven informative as to the mind set of the general managers present in that organization, as well as what that organization values enough to reward with solid gold pieces of currency.
I have been Ulysses Babineaux, thank you for reading.
We want readers to be the judge.
Week 3 vs Dallas
What a statement win for us, in front of the home crowd at Emu War Memorial Stadium.
Putting up 233 yards through the air and 268 on the ground, and only giving up 20 points against the highest rated passing offense in the league. On offense we saw The Captain Dru Freduci, running back, put up 131 yards and a touchdown, as well as María Teresa de la Rosa with 127 yards through the air as well as a touchdown. But this offensive game ball has to go to the undeniable Bugs putting up 299 total yards and accounting for 3 touchdowns.
Defensively we were flying around the field. A certain inactive rookie accounted for 5 tackles and 3 pass deflections, while the world's fastest football playing bird Speed Hawk notched 4 tackles, and 1 sack. However, the bright spot for this game and the recipient of this defensive game ball is none other than our defensive captain Walter Yensid who racked up 3 tackles, 4 pass deflections, AND A PICK!
Week 4 @ Portland
This game we decided we were going to run through a motherfucker, and wouldn't you know it? We sure did.
Offense put up 159 rushing yards, with Dru Freduci getting the lion's share of the touches and ending up only one short of the nicest number with 68 yards. The spawn of the devil, and perhaps of the Matrix, Bugs ran through them for 74 and ripped beautiful passes to put up 230 and 4 touchdowns through the air, with a single pick as the only blemish on the stat line. This offensive game ball has to go to María Teresa de la Rosa for a solid 109 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns to really take the fight out of Portland.
Defense! Way to show out and keep these jokers to only two field goals after the first quarter. Defensive captain Walter Yensid notched 6 tackles and 2 PDs, and returning veteran Leo Simon Schwartz got himself fed with five tackles and a fantastic sack. The defensive game ball will be going to the only person in this server who has actually played tackle football Speed Hawk who accounted for 13 tackles and a sack, smothering the Pythons running game before it even got started.
Great week of dotsball crew, let's keep this shit rolling!
Week 6 vs Snorefolk Stinkwolves
What a fucking game, crew. So much back and forth, a lot of ups and downs, but we knuckled down and put up a fucking DUB against our most hated conference rival.
Let's get started with defense here, who held a high octane nuclear powered offense to 27 points. Shouts of course have to go to our waiver pickup sensation Matt Wilkins for putting up 10 tackles, 3 of which were for losses. And we can't forget the other leg of the Bermuda Triangle, the world's fastest linebacker Speed Hawk putting up 5 of his own tackles as well as a sack. But this solid gold doubloon is going to none other than Leo Simon Schwartz for getting a critical sack AS WELL AS a super clutch fumble recovery.
Offense, let's talk about the Greatest Show on Surf. All of you were balling out, spreading the ball around and running through that Norfolk defense like a goddamn tidal wave. Every receiver notched at least 3 receptions. Our beloved quarterback Bugs was slinging the rock and could do no wrong, with 295 yards and 3 touchdowns as well as 9 runs for 61 yards. Meo Stickyhands-McGee and María Teresa de la Rosa each put up solid games as our wide outs, with longs over 40 and averages over 20 yards. And I absolutely cannot forget the leader of The Armada McDripsen McDropsen for putting in a solid 8 pancakes! But this doubloon has to go to our veteran tight end and unknowable shadowy entity Local Cryptid for a 73 yard game with a 100% reception rate, a touchdown, and three pancakes.
Honorable BOT doubloon goes to Winnie the Pooh with 11 tackles, 1 for loss, and a forced fumble.
That's all for now, enjoy your weekends, crew.
P.S Kansas City, if you're somehow listening...this get back gonna be rough for you. Trust us.
(We here at the Midwestern Arcane are not sure how Triceracop knew we were listening in, and as of the writing of this article, are unsure if Kansas City were listening in as well.)
Week 8 vs Kansas City Coyotes
Offense I'm gonna start with you guys this week, and hot damn what a showing from all of you. All three of our active receivers caught touch downs, so big shouts to María Teresa de la Rosa, Meo Stickyhands-McGee, and our very own Local Cryptid. Offensive captain Dru Freduci put up a solid 84 yards against the Bozyotes, as well as 78 total special team yards. But this doubloon has to go to the one and only Bugs who put up 5 total touchdowns, 3 through the air and two by sea ground, and a grand total of 329 yards.
Defense, holy hell you guys played mad and I am HERE FOR IT. You played with a grudge after that 41-9 loss and held the Yotes to only 27 points. Bright spots were the ever productive Matt Wilkins with 10 tackles, 2 for loss and one sack as well as a pass deflection. Walter Yensid notched 6 tackles and 3 pass deflections of his own to lock down half of the field. But this defensive game ball will be going to the one and only Leo Simon Schwartz for 5 tackles, 1 sack, and a recovered fumble into a defensive touchdown!
The very special bot doubloon for this game will be going to Tigger TheTiger for 5 tackles and a PD.
Week 11 vs Portland Pythons
Kind of an ugly win, but a win is kind of like pizza. Even if its bad, its pretty great.
Defense lets break it down. That Portland offense didn't know what hit them with the way you guys were flying around the field. Our defensive captain Walter Yensid put up 5 tackles, a forced fumble and recovery, as well as a PD, while the one and only Speed Hawk also put up 4 tackles and a sack. This game's doubloon is going to have to go to Matt Wilkins for putting up 8 tackles and 1 sack, moving around the field and stopping the sneks in their tracks.
Offense was also all over the place, with Bugs putting up 288 yards and 3 touchdowns through the air for a 125.6 passer rating, as well as punching in another touchdown on the ground. Our newest Buc Zigzag Zipstep also got himself a touchdown, rushing for 38 yards behind Dru Freduci's own 78 yard performance. However, this doubloon is absolutely going to María Teresa de la Rosa for 134 yards and a touchdown on 6 receptions!
Bot doubloon will goes to Rabbit Therabbit for 9 tackles and a forced fumble and recovery.
Week 12 @ Dallas Birddogs
I don't say this lightly - this game was a certified banger. Like actually kind of a fucking crazy game. If you haven't watched the VOD, go watch it.
Bugs was slinging the rock all over the place, putting up 210 through the air and 2 touchdowns along with 34 yards on the ground. María Teresa de la Rosa and Meo Stickyhands-McGee, our dynamic receiving duo, created 90 and 67 yards of offense respectively as well as each putting up a touchdown. The offensive doubloon will have to go to Dru Freduci for a 91 yard performance along with punching in two touchdowns in the first quarter!
As for our defense, HOLY SHIT WHAT A GAME. Leo Simon Schwartz had himself a solid performance with 4 tackles, as did Speed Hawk getting 4 tackles as well as a sack. It also cannot be understated how epic Matt Wilkin's walk off pick 6 was in the last seconds of the game, truly a fantastic moment. But the doubloon goes to the one and only Walter Yensid who had a banner game. 9 tackles, 3 PDs, 1 INT, AND 2 FORCED FUMBLES AND RECOVERIES!
Bot doubloon for this game goes to Tigger Thetiger for a respectable 9 tackles.
This concludes the Midwestern Arcane's reporting on the doubloon ceremonies happening at Bondi Beach. We hope this has proven informative as to the mind set of the general managers present in that organization, as well as what that organization values enough to reward with solid gold pieces of currency.
I have been Ulysses Babineaux, thank you for reading.