12-19-2019, 04:02 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-30-2019, 10:03 AM by Fordhammer.)
[Hello! This is roughly 3900-ish words long and is just x1. This is to be split 50/50 between myself and JSteele as Bwest is giving up his part to us. Enjoy]
We can see a Television interview stage with four leather and comfy looking seats in front of a green screen and camera. Sitting down is an interviewer who will be asking questions to three Colorado Yeti players. Pete Parker, James Bishop and Laszlo Forty-Two!
The Interviewer: Hello and welcome to a very special interview at the most magical and wonderful time of the year! The Colorado Yeti have decided to do something fairly special this year by letting us have an interview with three of the players! Today we shall be getting to know one of the Colorado Yeti’s best players, James Bishop! One of the Colorado Yeti most talented upcoming talents, Pete Parker and the scariest players on the Colorado Yeti, Laszlo Forty-Two. We will be asking them all different types of questions!
So first off I would like to thank all of you for joining me, this should be a lovely interview that the Yeti fans shall enjoy. The question I have for you is: What has life been like in Colorado since you moved here?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Life in this state for Laszlo has been very good. The Laz bought a mansion that is built into one of the rocky mountains and a lot of puny people struggle to even venture to Mr. Forty-Two’s house. It took Laszlo a while to find the perfect house for him. Something that would make people not want to come annoy him in his busy schedule but then Laszlo found perfect house. The thinning oxygen makes place wonderful place to train too.
Only downside is Laszlo cannot order take away food when he treats himself due to delivery boys struggling to exist or inhale oxygen. Laszlo believe exercise is good for puny boy. Laszlo hopes future seasons are just as pleasant in Colorado as the first few seasons have been for him.
Pete Parker: Man, I have got to say that move to Colorado from New York is doing pretty well. I am actually starting to like it here more and more than I did living in the cities in New York. Much more space and seems pretty peaceful. Best part is the growing popularity I guess as I am not too used to being recognized at all. So even leaving my house, or any restaurant I am getting noticed. It also has times where it is pretty peaceful too. Driving up to the mountains and just enjoying the view of everything is the greatest.
James Bishop: Colorado is an amazing cold place. I would say my overall experience so far has been fantastic. There is nothing more rewarding than walking down the street and talking with the fans and how much they enjoy the team. Through thick and thin the fans are there, that is the best part about living in Colorado for sure. The scenery is majestic. Mountains slightly off in the distance always make for a beautiful morning and evening. There is plenty to do, eat and explore. I couldn't be happier and can't imagine myself anywhere else.
The Interviewer: I see, I see. Well, who would you say is your favourite team mate? Someone that has been fun to hang out with, that sort of thing.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two’s favourite player is Season 17’s Bubba Thumper. When Laszlo Forty-Two arrive. The Yeti were puny! Fragile! Pathetic! However, they drafted Laszlo. Now the Colorado Yeti laugh at Chicago for messing the 1st and 2nd overall pick up and missing out of committed player like Mr. Forty-Two. Laszlo want to make Colorado Yeti competitive and eventually fight for titles! One season later.
Rookie named Bubba Thumper enters the locker room. Has same beautiful vision as The Laz. The team like our drive and set up for the Bubba-Forty-Two Effect. Get made captain with him. Laszlo respect him and now we help the Colorado Yeti truly compete and soon gun for title.
So Laszlo’s answer is Bubba Thumper. Would have said Wolfie McDummy since he is playing well finally but this is his punishment for previous seasons.
James Bishop: This is easily Bubba Thumper. He is a monster on the field and a kitten in the locker room. On the field he is commanding and resilient. Bubba makes sure that the Yeti defense and the opposing offense all know that he is on the field and he will make the play. Off the field he is always out in the community doing work and helping others. He is a model citizen of the state of Colorado. I know for one I am so happy he is still here I can only imagine how management feels about the situation.
Pete Parker: This is rather a hard question for me to answer as most of the time I am keeping to myself. If I did have to put a name to who I mostly interact to though, it would be between three players. That being either Bubba Thumper, guy is always helping out anyone that may need it when it comes to working or anything in general. I was kind of caught off guard by it at first because you see how he is on the field. Pretty scary you would think.
Another would be the man who seems to like changing positions as I was his teammate in the DSFL, and that person is Jim McMahon. Reason why I say changing positions is because when I was in the DSFL with him he was the team’s quarterback and now that we are in the big leagues I am seeing him as a wide receiver. It is just crazy because he has played really well in both of those positions and I have had chances to experience them first hand. But yeah, obviously I have spent a lot of time with him.
Thirdly would be another player on the defense Mo Berry. I mainly contact him when it is coming to training and what things I should work on to better my player. It has got to be some pretty good tips as I have been listening to his tips since I was brought up and as you guys saw, I won the Defensive Rookie of the Year last season. So, I give a lot of props to him.
The Interviewer: If you were not playing in your respective position, what position would you like to be playing instead?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Fun little story for you. Laszlo attended West Virginia’s Mountaineer University. He play in multiple positions for puny team. Quarter Back, Running Back, Kicking Back. He wanted to play defending roles but apparently people had problem in training with Laszlo “hurting my spine” or making them regret catch pig skin. Laszlo probably would have picked any of the mentioned 3 positions.
Quarter Back because throwing ball can be fun. Running Back cause running people over is fun. Kicking Back because kicking pig skin and people is fun. Special mention to Offensive Lineman position. National Simulation Football League has terrible Offensive Linemen players. Would like to have become one of them to become one of the best. Laszlo does not get why many do not survive. Maybe Corner Back if Laszlo was allowed to play in defending positions.
James Bishop: I would certainly be playing the cornerback position. I have the skill set needed to play the position I just always enjoyed the wide receiver position the most. It also seems to benefit the team more if it was this way. Maybe if there was ever a need for a new corner and we can find a good compliment to Lazzy we could move me over to the defensive side of the ball and see what happens.
Pete Parker: Ooh, you know what, I have not really thought about this two much, but off the top of my head I think about two positions. If I were to stay on the defensive side I would probably transition to the cornerback side. Just because it is similar to playing safety, but you are more than likely left on a one on one situation where you are responsible for covering the receiver and you kind of get a battle of who is the better player and who can outsmart the other or just read them.
Now, if I had to switch to the offensive side of the ball that part is easy as I would go to wide receiver. I am so used to reading the plays and defending pass catchers and stopping them I think it would be rather fun to flip to the other side and play against some of my fellow defensive backs and try and make some catches against them and score some touchdowns. It would be fun.
The Interviewer: Well, what about another sport? If you were not playing Gridiron Football, what sport would you like to go pro in instead?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Many great sports! Table Tennis because hurting people with tiny ball is fun. Axe Throwing would have been a breeze for Laszlo. Would make a lot of money. If not, perhaps Laszlo would like to play Chess. Is thinking man’s game! Anybody with enough protein can break puny people but takes a special person to mentally break puny opponent too!
Laszlo would not play Ice Hockey or Baseball or even Association Football. Since other cultists have those sports locked down. Jon Forty-One in Simulation Hockey League, Jose Forty-Three in Pro Baseball Experience and Clive Forty-Five in whatever league is is playing in! Laszlo thinks he could be good at those sports but they have the mission from our lord to perform and make money so Laszlo Forty-Two will not interfere. First and biggest love though is Gridiron Football!
James Bishop: The thing is, I am not really talented enough to play any other sports. I suppose I would certainly try out for arena football or even rugby. But I have tried my hand at a few other sports and was never really able to get it down. I tried wrestling, baseball, track and field, and hockey. I just never was that great. Sure I can sprint well, but who wants to do that for a living. Does that even pay the bills. I mean I like money and I was always good at this position. The NSFL and football is the only place for me.
Pete Parker: First thing that comes to mind is baseball. Just because I have always loved the sport and still enjoy watching it to this day. When I do get the chance in between practices, trainings and other errands I would like to turn on the game to watch for a little or maybe just turn on the radio to listen to it. Even growing up I played it here and then but never really thought of it as something to pursue. More or less thought of it as a fun hobby type of thing. Took football way more serious when growing up.
The Interviewer: So, if you could have any super power or be like any super hero or super villain...Who would you pick and why?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two is a big fan of the spider man. The great power coming with zero responsibility truly touches Laszlo big ox like heart. He is very good at beating the ever living fuck out of anyone and Laszlo will never forget his amazing cage match against Bone Saw god rest Bone Saw’s soul. If Laszlo were to ever meet man of spiders he would shake his hand and maybe force him to do arm wrestling match against The Laz. He is strong but Laszlo believe he is stronger.
Laszlo does not really want to have any super power though. His cult has multiple weird or crazy powered people and Laszlo’s ability is more simple. He can catch anything. Is why Laszlo becomes Wide Receiver. Laszlo likes to run at people and gain yards but catching pig skin is a lot more fun. So Laszlo would continue to be Laszlo.
James Bishop: I hate to pick this but I chose Wolverine. He is able to regenerate and quite possibly live forever. I would love to play football forever. I see the end of my career happening in a few years and I dread it every day. If I was able to be Wolverine it means that I would never have to retire and I could play until I was ready to be done, not my body. There are still some years ahead of me but I am afraid of that one big hit that sidelines me for the rest of my career to force my retirement.
Pete Parker: Oh ha ha…. Okay really? Was this question actually real or were you guys just messing with me? I have heard it all with the comparisons to Spider-Man. With the likeness of the name, to the attention and the reflexes of everything, even growing up and living in the same area being New York City. But yeah, no he is not the superhero type of person I would like to be. A fun fact is actually that my favorite superhero is indeed, Superman! Who doesn’t want to be like the best superhero ever made? Practically has all of the superpowers you can think of from flight, super strength, laser vision, ice breath and I can keep going. That right there is the only superhero you should be thinking of, or at least I am.
The Interviewer: What goals do you have for your career?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo notice for the best Development Simulation Football League team, the Tijuana Luchadores, that he is 2nd overall in season touch downs and 8th overall in total yards. This makes Laszlo feel bad. Not very elite and Development Simulation Football League also did not have an all-star or awards in his second and final season which also sucks.
Having quarter back who could barely pass also has basically crippled Laszlo Forty-Two’s chances of the hall of fame. This is sad to him. Laszlo does have other goals though. Absolute must is bring a title to Colorado. The Colorado Yeti fans finally have hope and it is about time they get rewarded for patience. Laszlo wants to get his jersey, number Forty-Two retired in Colorado too whilst staying as a one team player. Laszlo did it for the minor leagues and he will do it with Colorado too.
Only other goal is to perhaps win an award or get nominated for them but is doubtful. Perhaps Laszlo Forty-Two will aim to make as much money as he can get as well.
James Bishop: I would love to break records, but for how far I am in my career and how far away I am from reaching those career goals I will need to settle for Yeti franchise records instead of NSFL records. I could still get the longest reception or something like that. But that would require the perfect play with a QB that can see me when I’m more than 5-10 yards down the field. The Hall of Fame is likely also out of the question. There are just so many different amazing receivers with astonishing careers. It saddens me but I am also so happy to know that I was able to play at a very high level in the league even if it wasn't the highest level.
Pete Parker: Oh geez, I don’t really like to think that far ahead for myself. I like to live in the now and play each game and see how it goes. Just play the best that I can play each and every week. Thinking long term though, I would like to win a lot of championships. I am not trying to sound cocky with it, but I always remember that this is a team sport. “There is no I in team” as the saying goes and I agree. It is great to see myself win awards or meet some great statistical numbers in my career, but my main thought is to help my team bring home championships. That is the reason why we play… and also because it is fun too.
The Interviewer: What is your top guilty pleasure song?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo truly enjoys a lot of songs. But he does have two songs he is very fond of. The We no speak Americano song. Mainly because Mr. Forty-Two is from Hungary so he can relate to learning English and the other cause he knows the successful musician who made this song. The Laz’s all time guilty pleasure song would for sure be Cotton Eye Joe. He forgets who actually sang said song but it is a catchy beat and overall just fun to listen. Laszlo give honourable mention MC Horse Dick’s song Suck My Dick Whilst I fuck That Ass. The man is truly a poet and you can feel his emotional stress of his issues during the song.
James Bishop: I love listening to Weird Al Yankovic. So weird. Haha. I don’t know why I like them so much but they just have great tunes and comedic value. Obviously his songs are taken from other artists, but the spin he puts on them is delicious. Food is important to me so that is probably where the liking comes from. Old or New, his songs are timeless and I will always open a training with one of his songs to get me pumped up.
Pete Parker: Something that I am a fan of and I am not too sure if it would be considered a guilty pleasure song, but it would have to be “Pink and White” by Frank Ocean. Compared to my normal style of music I listen to, like Post Malone, Eminem, and Tyler the Creator to name a few, Frank Ocean fits there pretty well for me, but I feel like he is underviewed as an artist. I usually won’t listen to this song while others are near, but I do really enjoy this song. It seems very peaceful and mellow and easily calms me down.
The Interviewer: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo is extremely humble. One could argue the greatest humble man or most humble person in the world! Could be considered a weakness. Mr. Forty-Two’s major weakness might be his speed or his quarter back. Is very fine line he feels. Laszlo is more based off strengths more than anything.
Perhaps other weakness is having so many San Antonio Marshall players on the team. They are used to losing and failure so can be hard to get out of this cycle. Luckily pathetic team is no more and new Minnesota team looks great. Laszlo personally wish them well as it is about time the glorious Tijuana Luchadores had more of a competitive division and team to face.
James Bishop: Opposite of Lazzy, I am just not very strong. I want to be stronger and plow through the defense but unfortunately I am a glass cannon. I am fast and able to dodge potentially harmful hits. So I have that going for me which is nice. But having strength to just push over, stiff arm, or pull a defender into the end zone would make me feel much more complete. Contested catches are also a problem that is a result of my strength. I work out all the time but I just can't muster the muscle mass I would like.
Pete Parker: Oh that is easy and the same answer as James. My strength. It has to be that. I am not a very built guy and have known that my entire life. I didn’t let it hold me back though as I never really wanted to be that super buff guy will all the muscles. I always liked to work on my speed and made sure my cardio was in tip top shape. Never let a weakness stop you as I have always said. There is no one set thing to go about in life. There are so many routes and you gotta figure out yours.
The Interviewer: Our final question tonight comes in from the Twitter user “Wolfie McDummy Inted My Hope 69” and he or she respectively asks you all: What is your favourite hobby when you are not working or what do you like to do for fun in your spare time?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo is very focused on his job so he visits his custom gym daily. Is not easy to have a body like this. Other things are travel. Seeing the world and other cultures is very mind opening and seeing beautiful sights. Is truly fun when I do get to do it in the off-season. A part from that it is usually dealing with cult duties or meetings or ignoring Jose Forty-Three when he tries to ignore me.
James Bishop: When I am not working I like to count my money. I don’t have a bank account or anything like that. I do not trust the government at all. I like to sit in my room and organize my money and count it. It is very therapeutic. You should try it sometime. I have a room at my parents house that I am still living in that is dedicated to my money. We did spend some of it to fortify the area around their house to stop potential burglars. But I haven’t spent much outside of that. Sometimes I will spend the night at the training facility just so I don’t have to pay for a cab home. Call my stingy if you want, but I like having money, not things.
Pete Parker: I am actually a little surprised that neither of my teammates had said this as an answer, but I like to play video games in my spare time. Just as a relaxer or just a time waster. There are so many games you can play in all types of ways. You can have a game that’s a match or so every few minutes, or you can play a story game that can last you weeks, maybe even months depending on how you play it. It is such a relaxing feeling and to me some games can even make you get so distracted and take you into a whole new world and is more addicting than some would like to think television is.
The Interviewer: Well, I just want to say a big thank you to all three of you for joining me tonight in joining me and allowing people to get to know you guys just a little more! Do you have anything that you wish to say before we say goodbye?
James Bishop: No, I am good thank you for having me.
Pete Parker: Same as James really.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo has many things he wishes to say.
The Interviewer: Oh, really? Well the floor is all yours.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two does not own property here. Confused as to why puny interviewer believe he does. Only thing The Laz has to say is watch out for the Yeti in future seasons. We will break you. Except New Orleans Second Line. Laszlo like you guys and Bourbon Street. You may just be a little sad when you lose rather than crushing defeat.
The Interviewer: Riiiight. Okay then! On that note I will be ending this interview. We hope to be having a few more in the future! So please look forward to them whenever they come out. Until then, it is fair the well from me and the Colorado Yeti!
We can see a Television interview stage with four leather and comfy looking seats in front of a green screen and camera. Sitting down is an interviewer who will be asking questions to three Colorado Yeti players. Pete Parker, James Bishop and Laszlo Forty-Two!
The Interviewer: Hello and welcome to a very special interview at the most magical and wonderful time of the year! The Colorado Yeti have decided to do something fairly special this year by letting us have an interview with three of the players! Today we shall be getting to know one of the Colorado Yeti’s best players, James Bishop! One of the Colorado Yeti most talented upcoming talents, Pete Parker and the scariest players on the Colorado Yeti, Laszlo Forty-Two. We will be asking them all different types of questions!
So first off I would like to thank all of you for joining me, this should be a lovely interview that the Yeti fans shall enjoy. The question I have for you is: What has life been like in Colorado since you moved here?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Life in this state for Laszlo has been very good. The Laz bought a mansion that is built into one of the rocky mountains and a lot of puny people struggle to even venture to Mr. Forty-Two’s house. It took Laszlo a while to find the perfect house for him. Something that would make people not want to come annoy him in his busy schedule but then Laszlo found perfect house. The thinning oxygen makes place wonderful place to train too.
Only downside is Laszlo cannot order take away food when he treats himself due to delivery boys struggling to exist or inhale oxygen. Laszlo believe exercise is good for puny boy. Laszlo hopes future seasons are just as pleasant in Colorado as the first few seasons have been for him.
Pete Parker: Man, I have got to say that move to Colorado from New York is doing pretty well. I am actually starting to like it here more and more than I did living in the cities in New York. Much more space and seems pretty peaceful. Best part is the growing popularity I guess as I am not too used to being recognized at all. So even leaving my house, or any restaurant I am getting noticed. It also has times where it is pretty peaceful too. Driving up to the mountains and just enjoying the view of everything is the greatest.
James Bishop: Colorado is an amazing cold place. I would say my overall experience so far has been fantastic. There is nothing more rewarding than walking down the street and talking with the fans and how much they enjoy the team. Through thick and thin the fans are there, that is the best part about living in Colorado for sure. The scenery is majestic. Mountains slightly off in the distance always make for a beautiful morning and evening. There is plenty to do, eat and explore. I couldn't be happier and can't imagine myself anywhere else.
The Interviewer: I see, I see. Well, who would you say is your favourite team mate? Someone that has been fun to hang out with, that sort of thing.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two’s favourite player is Season 17’s Bubba Thumper. When Laszlo Forty-Two arrive. The Yeti were puny! Fragile! Pathetic! However, they drafted Laszlo. Now the Colorado Yeti laugh at Chicago for messing the 1st and 2nd overall pick up and missing out of committed player like Mr. Forty-Two. Laszlo want to make Colorado Yeti competitive and eventually fight for titles! One season later.
Rookie named Bubba Thumper enters the locker room. Has same beautiful vision as The Laz. The team like our drive and set up for the Bubba-Forty-Two Effect. Get made captain with him. Laszlo respect him and now we help the Colorado Yeti truly compete and soon gun for title.
So Laszlo’s answer is Bubba Thumper. Would have said Wolfie McDummy since he is playing well finally but this is his punishment for previous seasons.
James Bishop: This is easily Bubba Thumper. He is a monster on the field and a kitten in the locker room. On the field he is commanding and resilient. Bubba makes sure that the Yeti defense and the opposing offense all know that he is on the field and he will make the play. Off the field he is always out in the community doing work and helping others. He is a model citizen of the state of Colorado. I know for one I am so happy he is still here I can only imagine how management feels about the situation.
Pete Parker: This is rather a hard question for me to answer as most of the time I am keeping to myself. If I did have to put a name to who I mostly interact to though, it would be between three players. That being either Bubba Thumper, guy is always helping out anyone that may need it when it comes to working or anything in general. I was kind of caught off guard by it at first because you see how he is on the field. Pretty scary you would think.
Another would be the man who seems to like changing positions as I was his teammate in the DSFL, and that person is Jim McMahon. Reason why I say changing positions is because when I was in the DSFL with him he was the team’s quarterback and now that we are in the big leagues I am seeing him as a wide receiver. It is just crazy because he has played really well in both of those positions and I have had chances to experience them first hand. But yeah, obviously I have spent a lot of time with him.
Thirdly would be another player on the defense Mo Berry. I mainly contact him when it is coming to training and what things I should work on to better my player. It has got to be some pretty good tips as I have been listening to his tips since I was brought up and as you guys saw, I won the Defensive Rookie of the Year last season. So, I give a lot of props to him.
The Interviewer: If you were not playing in your respective position, what position would you like to be playing instead?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Fun little story for you. Laszlo attended West Virginia’s Mountaineer University. He play in multiple positions for puny team. Quarter Back, Running Back, Kicking Back. He wanted to play defending roles but apparently people had problem in training with Laszlo “hurting my spine” or making them regret catch pig skin. Laszlo probably would have picked any of the mentioned 3 positions.
Quarter Back because throwing ball can be fun. Running Back cause running people over is fun. Kicking Back because kicking pig skin and people is fun. Special mention to Offensive Lineman position. National Simulation Football League has terrible Offensive Linemen players. Would like to have become one of them to become one of the best. Laszlo does not get why many do not survive. Maybe Corner Back if Laszlo was allowed to play in defending positions.
James Bishop: I would certainly be playing the cornerback position. I have the skill set needed to play the position I just always enjoyed the wide receiver position the most. It also seems to benefit the team more if it was this way. Maybe if there was ever a need for a new corner and we can find a good compliment to Lazzy we could move me over to the defensive side of the ball and see what happens.
Pete Parker: Ooh, you know what, I have not really thought about this two much, but off the top of my head I think about two positions. If I were to stay on the defensive side I would probably transition to the cornerback side. Just because it is similar to playing safety, but you are more than likely left on a one on one situation where you are responsible for covering the receiver and you kind of get a battle of who is the better player and who can outsmart the other or just read them.
Now, if I had to switch to the offensive side of the ball that part is easy as I would go to wide receiver. I am so used to reading the plays and defending pass catchers and stopping them I think it would be rather fun to flip to the other side and play against some of my fellow defensive backs and try and make some catches against them and score some touchdowns. It would be fun.
The Interviewer: Well, what about another sport? If you were not playing Gridiron Football, what sport would you like to go pro in instead?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Many great sports! Table Tennis because hurting people with tiny ball is fun. Axe Throwing would have been a breeze for Laszlo. Would make a lot of money. If not, perhaps Laszlo would like to play Chess. Is thinking man’s game! Anybody with enough protein can break puny people but takes a special person to mentally break puny opponent too!
Laszlo would not play Ice Hockey or Baseball or even Association Football. Since other cultists have those sports locked down. Jon Forty-One in Simulation Hockey League, Jose Forty-Three in Pro Baseball Experience and Clive Forty-Five in whatever league is is playing in! Laszlo thinks he could be good at those sports but they have the mission from our lord to perform and make money so Laszlo Forty-Two will not interfere. First and biggest love though is Gridiron Football!
James Bishop: The thing is, I am not really talented enough to play any other sports. I suppose I would certainly try out for arena football or even rugby. But I have tried my hand at a few other sports and was never really able to get it down. I tried wrestling, baseball, track and field, and hockey. I just never was that great. Sure I can sprint well, but who wants to do that for a living. Does that even pay the bills. I mean I like money and I was always good at this position. The NSFL and football is the only place for me.
Pete Parker: First thing that comes to mind is baseball. Just because I have always loved the sport and still enjoy watching it to this day. When I do get the chance in between practices, trainings and other errands I would like to turn on the game to watch for a little or maybe just turn on the radio to listen to it. Even growing up I played it here and then but never really thought of it as something to pursue. More or less thought of it as a fun hobby type of thing. Took football way more serious when growing up.
The Interviewer: So, if you could have any super power or be like any super hero or super villain...Who would you pick and why?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two is a big fan of the spider man. The great power coming with zero responsibility truly touches Laszlo big ox like heart. He is very good at beating the ever living fuck out of anyone and Laszlo will never forget his amazing cage match against Bone Saw god rest Bone Saw’s soul. If Laszlo were to ever meet man of spiders he would shake his hand and maybe force him to do arm wrestling match against The Laz. He is strong but Laszlo believe he is stronger.
Laszlo does not really want to have any super power though. His cult has multiple weird or crazy powered people and Laszlo’s ability is more simple. He can catch anything. Is why Laszlo becomes Wide Receiver. Laszlo likes to run at people and gain yards but catching pig skin is a lot more fun. So Laszlo would continue to be Laszlo.
James Bishop: I hate to pick this but I chose Wolverine. He is able to regenerate and quite possibly live forever. I would love to play football forever. I see the end of my career happening in a few years and I dread it every day. If I was able to be Wolverine it means that I would never have to retire and I could play until I was ready to be done, not my body. There are still some years ahead of me but I am afraid of that one big hit that sidelines me for the rest of my career to force my retirement.
Pete Parker: Oh ha ha…. Okay really? Was this question actually real or were you guys just messing with me? I have heard it all with the comparisons to Spider-Man. With the likeness of the name, to the attention and the reflexes of everything, even growing up and living in the same area being New York City. But yeah, no he is not the superhero type of person I would like to be. A fun fact is actually that my favorite superhero is indeed, Superman! Who doesn’t want to be like the best superhero ever made? Practically has all of the superpowers you can think of from flight, super strength, laser vision, ice breath and I can keep going. That right there is the only superhero you should be thinking of, or at least I am.
The Interviewer: What goals do you have for your career?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo notice for the best Development Simulation Football League team, the Tijuana Luchadores, that he is 2nd overall in season touch downs and 8th overall in total yards. This makes Laszlo feel bad. Not very elite and Development Simulation Football League also did not have an all-star or awards in his second and final season which also sucks.
Having quarter back who could barely pass also has basically crippled Laszlo Forty-Two’s chances of the hall of fame. This is sad to him. Laszlo does have other goals though. Absolute must is bring a title to Colorado. The Colorado Yeti fans finally have hope and it is about time they get rewarded for patience. Laszlo wants to get his jersey, number Forty-Two retired in Colorado too whilst staying as a one team player. Laszlo did it for the minor leagues and he will do it with Colorado too.
Only other goal is to perhaps win an award or get nominated for them but is doubtful. Perhaps Laszlo Forty-Two will aim to make as much money as he can get as well.
James Bishop: I would love to break records, but for how far I am in my career and how far away I am from reaching those career goals I will need to settle for Yeti franchise records instead of NSFL records. I could still get the longest reception or something like that. But that would require the perfect play with a QB that can see me when I’m more than 5-10 yards down the field. The Hall of Fame is likely also out of the question. There are just so many different amazing receivers with astonishing careers. It saddens me but I am also so happy to know that I was able to play at a very high level in the league even if it wasn't the highest level.
Pete Parker: Oh geez, I don’t really like to think that far ahead for myself. I like to live in the now and play each game and see how it goes. Just play the best that I can play each and every week. Thinking long term though, I would like to win a lot of championships. I am not trying to sound cocky with it, but I always remember that this is a team sport. “There is no I in team” as the saying goes and I agree. It is great to see myself win awards or meet some great statistical numbers in my career, but my main thought is to help my team bring home championships. That is the reason why we play… and also because it is fun too.
The Interviewer: What is your top guilty pleasure song?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo truly enjoys a lot of songs. But he does have two songs he is very fond of. The We no speak Americano song. Mainly because Mr. Forty-Two is from Hungary so he can relate to learning English and the other cause he knows the successful musician who made this song. The Laz’s all time guilty pleasure song would for sure be Cotton Eye Joe. He forgets who actually sang said song but it is a catchy beat and overall just fun to listen. Laszlo give honourable mention MC Horse Dick’s song Suck My Dick Whilst I fuck That Ass. The man is truly a poet and you can feel his emotional stress of his issues during the song.
James Bishop: I love listening to Weird Al Yankovic. So weird. Haha. I don’t know why I like them so much but they just have great tunes and comedic value. Obviously his songs are taken from other artists, but the spin he puts on them is delicious. Food is important to me so that is probably where the liking comes from. Old or New, his songs are timeless and I will always open a training with one of his songs to get me pumped up.
Pete Parker: Something that I am a fan of and I am not too sure if it would be considered a guilty pleasure song, but it would have to be “Pink and White” by Frank Ocean. Compared to my normal style of music I listen to, like Post Malone, Eminem, and Tyler the Creator to name a few, Frank Ocean fits there pretty well for me, but I feel like he is underviewed as an artist. I usually won’t listen to this song while others are near, but I do really enjoy this song. It seems very peaceful and mellow and easily calms me down.
The Interviewer: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo is extremely humble. One could argue the greatest humble man or most humble person in the world! Could be considered a weakness. Mr. Forty-Two’s major weakness might be his speed or his quarter back. Is very fine line he feels. Laszlo is more based off strengths more than anything.
Perhaps other weakness is having so many San Antonio Marshall players on the team. They are used to losing and failure so can be hard to get out of this cycle. Luckily pathetic team is no more and new Minnesota team looks great. Laszlo personally wish them well as it is about time the glorious Tijuana Luchadores had more of a competitive division and team to face.
James Bishop: Opposite of Lazzy, I am just not very strong. I want to be stronger and plow through the defense but unfortunately I am a glass cannon. I am fast and able to dodge potentially harmful hits. So I have that going for me which is nice. But having strength to just push over, stiff arm, or pull a defender into the end zone would make me feel much more complete. Contested catches are also a problem that is a result of my strength. I work out all the time but I just can't muster the muscle mass I would like.
Pete Parker: Oh that is easy and the same answer as James. My strength. It has to be that. I am not a very built guy and have known that my entire life. I didn’t let it hold me back though as I never really wanted to be that super buff guy will all the muscles. I always liked to work on my speed and made sure my cardio was in tip top shape. Never let a weakness stop you as I have always said. There is no one set thing to go about in life. There are so many routes and you gotta figure out yours.
The Interviewer: Our final question tonight comes in from the Twitter user “Wolfie McDummy Inted My Hope 69” and he or she respectively asks you all: What is your favourite hobby when you are not working or what do you like to do for fun in your spare time?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo is very focused on his job so he visits his custom gym daily. Is not easy to have a body like this. Other things are travel. Seeing the world and other cultures is very mind opening and seeing beautiful sights. Is truly fun when I do get to do it in the off-season. A part from that it is usually dealing with cult duties or meetings or ignoring Jose Forty-Three when he tries to ignore me.
James Bishop: When I am not working I like to count my money. I don’t have a bank account or anything like that. I do not trust the government at all. I like to sit in my room and organize my money and count it. It is very therapeutic. You should try it sometime. I have a room at my parents house that I am still living in that is dedicated to my money. We did spend some of it to fortify the area around their house to stop potential burglars. But I haven’t spent much outside of that. Sometimes I will spend the night at the training facility just so I don’t have to pay for a cab home. Call my stingy if you want, but I like having money, not things.
Pete Parker: I am actually a little surprised that neither of my teammates had said this as an answer, but I like to play video games in my spare time. Just as a relaxer or just a time waster. There are so many games you can play in all types of ways. You can have a game that’s a match or so every few minutes, or you can play a story game that can last you weeks, maybe even months depending on how you play it. It is such a relaxing feeling and to me some games can even make you get so distracted and take you into a whole new world and is more addicting than some would like to think television is.
The Interviewer: Well, I just want to say a big thank you to all three of you for joining me tonight in joining me and allowing people to get to know you guys just a little more! Do you have anything that you wish to say before we say goodbye?
James Bishop: No, I am good thank you for having me.
Pete Parker: Same as James really.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo has many things he wishes to say.
The Interviewer: Oh, really? Well the floor is all yours.
Laszlo Forty-Two: Mr. Forty-Two does not own property here. Confused as to why puny interviewer believe he does. Only thing The Laz has to say is watch out for the Yeti in future seasons. We will break you. Except New Orleans Second Line. Laszlo like you guys and Bourbon Street. You may just be a little sad when you lose rather than crushing defeat.
The Interviewer: Riiiight. Okay then! On that note I will be ending this interview. We hope to be having a few more in the future! So please look forward to them whenever they come out. Until then, it is fair the well from me and the Colorado Yeti!
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