Mason opens the door and heads for the podium at the front of the room. The press conference has a buzz of questions flying about. Reporters everywhere are speculating why they were notified 15 minutes ago that Mason Blaylock, star safety for the New Orleans Second Line called for this on such short notice. Some think it has to do with Corona Virus, others speculate a trade demand or maybe even early retirement. After all, Mason was a biology major in college. He has been known to say that player safety is of the upmost importance. His reaches forward for the mic and begins.
“Thank you everyone for gathering here on such short notice. I have called this emergency press conference immediately after finding something that I can no longer stand for. It has come to my attention that my fellow teammate Mack Arianlacher hates chocolate with peanut butter (a swarm of voices rise up at once). Yes yes I know, it is absolutely preposterous to me as well. Who doesn’t like perhaps the greatest combination of food to have ever come together? It hurts me at the core of my soul, to put it lightly. I think there is only one reasonable thing for me to do now. I am going to ghost Mack until he tries it again and changes his mind. That is all, go NOLA.”
Dozens of voices spring up trying to ask more info, but Mason is already walking off the platform. The press all look around dumb-founded. Some find the humor in it all and are laughing. Others are somewhere between irritated and livid. They thought they were going to be dropping a huge piece on an up and coming player and instead have 30 seconds on content, if you could even call it that, on chocolate. No matter the stance on the room, one thing is certain. Mack better get his shit together or else or else he is going to be force fed some reese’s cups sooner than later.
“Thank you everyone for gathering here on such short notice. I have called this emergency press conference immediately after finding something that I can no longer stand for. It has come to my attention that my fellow teammate Mack Arianlacher hates chocolate with peanut butter (a swarm of voices rise up at once). Yes yes I know, it is absolutely preposterous to me as well. Who doesn’t like perhaps the greatest combination of food to have ever come together? It hurts me at the core of my soul, to put it lightly. I think there is only one reasonable thing for me to do now. I am going to ghost Mack until he tries it again and changes his mind. That is all, go NOLA.”
Dozens of voices spring up trying to ask more info, but Mason is already walking off the platform. The press all look around dumb-founded. Some find the humor in it all and are laughing. Others are somewhere between irritated and livid. They thought they were going to be dropping a huge piece on an up and coming player and instead have 30 seconds on content, if you could even call it that, on chocolate. No matter the stance on the room, one thing is certain. Mack better get his shit together or else or else he is going to be force fed some reese’s cups sooner than later.