05-09-2020, 03:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-10-2020, 12:33 AM by 24redcrayons.)
We are almost halfway through the NSFL and DSFL seasons. I have personally had a lot of fun in my DSFL locker room, but we must begin to look ahead at the upcoming season. In this article, I will seek to rank all of the NSFL teams based on the popularity and attractiveness of their various destinations and will be ranking them as such. Keep in mind, this is all very much subjective and will be based on how I personally feel.
NSFC
Chicago Butchers
Chicago ranks number one on my list for a few reasons. Specifically, being one of the largest cities in the United States, it likely provides one of the most active nightlife scenes and is one of the largest media centers in the US, after New York. Furthermore, I really like deep dish pizza and hot dogs. As such, it obviously ranks number one on my list. While the number of opportunities in Chicago appeal to me, there are also some drawbacks that would come with living in such an area. Specifically, the same paycheck would go a lot less far, as the state of Illinois has one of the highest income and sales taxes in the entire country. However, playing for a team in such a large market, that money that is taken through taxes would probably be able to be made back through various endorsements and stuff of the sort.
Colorado Yetis
My second team in the NSFC in terms of livability would be the Yetis. Colorado is one of my favorite places to visit and travel to in the United States. While one of the most obvious reasons is that Colorado has legalized the electric lettuce, there are a myriad of other reasons that make Colorado my second preferred location. Specifically, property and income taxes in Colorado are relatively low compared to the rest of the country. As such, Colorado is a very attractive location for people who make a decent chunk of change. Furthermore, I would say that another reason why Colorado is so attractive is the all of the pristine powder that is close to or in the state. Places such as Vail or Aspen are great for snow sports, which is something I’m really into, so Colorado comes in at number 2.
Sarasota Sailfish
Sarasota comes in at number 3 on my list. If it was closer to any major city that wasn’t Tampa, it would honestly be number one my list. I personally love Florida and water sports a lot. Combine that with the fact that Florida may possibly be the single most tax friendly location in the US and it becomes incredibly evident why Sarasota ranks high on my list of places to be. The seemingly endless sunshine combined with the fact that it is only an hour away from Tampa make it a fairly attractive location for me. The fact that it is also very close to the water means that I would be able to spend off days on the water and do fishing, which is something that would be very nice.
Baltimore Hawks
From this point onwards, the attractiveness of these locations get lower for me personally. Baltimore is a city, that’s not a question, but its location is one of the things that makes me hesitant about moving to the city. Maryland is known for having incredibly high tax rates, which is a huge negative for me. Combine that with the relatively high crime rates of Baltimore make this city incredibly unfriendly towards people who want to have kids. You can make the same argument for Chicago, but the fact is that Chicago’s crime rates have decreased since a spike in 2016, but Baltimore’s has not. If anyone has read my introduction, they will understand that one of the biggest dreams for Julio Jones is to have a bunch of corn boys. Additionally, the fact that Baltimore is in a location that will receive a decent amount of snow and is cold makes me hesitant to live there long term.
Philadelphia Liberty
Philly’s claim to fame is a cracked bell and a sandwich with meat and cheese in it. Personally, I still honestly like chopped cheese a lot more than a cheesesteak, so that takes one of Philly’s selling points out of the equation. Combine that with an aging infrastructure, cold weather, and high tax rates, I personally would not want to live in New Jersey 2.0.
Yellowknife Wraiths
Completely honest, I had to google where Yellowknife even was before writing something about it. Situated on the north shore of the Great Slave Lake (what kind of name is that?) Yellowknife is honestly pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The team is obviously fairly successful, judging by their record, but as a place to live, I don’t want my kids to grow up as complete hicks. On the plus side, a million dollars would probably go pretty dang far in this place. So, it may be for some people but not for me personally.
ASFC
Orange County Otters
Orange County is one of the best places to live as a professional athlete, in my opinion. Combine that with the fact that the Otters are a very successful franchise and you get an incredibly attractive location for anyone. The team’s close proximity to Hollywood, incredible beaches, and huge media centers means that there will always be something to do, which is something that is very important to me.
Honolulu Hahalua
I love Hawaii. While I have personally been to Honolulu, and the island in general is just a great place to be. In a small space, there are swathes of parks and land that you can hike through as well as centers where you can go shopping or tan on beaches. The main attractions of this place are very much similar to the factors that also draw me to Sarasota. However, I’d have to rank this lower than Sarasota purely because it's a 6 hour flight to the Continental US. I don’t want to have to hop on an airplane for that long every single holiday, which would be a negative for this place.
Austin Copperheads
Keep Austin weird. I personally have never been to this place, but from various friends and family that have been here, I think that Austin would personally be a great fit for me. I am big on Texas-Style brisket, and the fact that Austin would provide me with the ability to live in a city but still own large swathes of land is something that is very attractive to me. Furthermore, I could go to UT games if I lived here. Although I’m not a UT alum, Darrell K. Royal is a sick stadium and I would totally go to games there.
San Jose SaberCats
Like the otters but the thrift store version. The Okay Place. I imagine San Jose to be like Orange County in every way, but like their Chipotles always have soggy pico and long lines and like you always have 3G instead of LTE and like everyone drives Camrys that are a few years old. So definitely livable, but not super ideal. But, if you're into suburban living and working a 9-5, San Jose is the place for you. Also, the only color car that they sell in this place is beige. (Beige Ferrari, anyone?)
New Orleans Second Line
NOLA smells like peepee. However, it’s not the last place because I like cajun food. Cafe Du Monde is sick and the city has a lot of culture. But, I have to dislike New Orleans out of principle. If I lived here, I would have to start wearing jorts unironically and I’m not ready to do that with my life yet. I came here for Mardi Gras last year, and my first experience in New Orleans was a fight happening inside of a Walmart over alcohol. Take that as you will.
Arizona Outlaws
Literally only old people live in Arizona. Bruce Arians even left Arizona for Tampa. The only reason I would visit this place is to try peyote. Would come here only if they promised to take me in the first round and fully guarantee my contract.
NSFC
Chicago Butchers
Chicago ranks number one on my list for a few reasons. Specifically, being one of the largest cities in the United States, it likely provides one of the most active nightlife scenes and is one of the largest media centers in the US, after New York. Furthermore, I really like deep dish pizza and hot dogs. As such, it obviously ranks number one on my list. While the number of opportunities in Chicago appeal to me, there are also some drawbacks that would come with living in such an area. Specifically, the same paycheck would go a lot less far, as the state of Illinois has one of the highest income and sales taxes in the entire country. However, playing for a team in such a large market, that money that is taken through taxes would probably be able to be made back through various endorsements and stuff of the sort.
Colorado Yetis
My second team in the NSFC in terms of livability would be the Yetis. Colorado is one of my favorite places to visit and travel to in the United States. While one of the most obvious reasons is that Colorado has legalized the electric lettuce, there are a myriad of other reasons that make Colorado my second preferred location. Specifically, property and income taxes in Colorado are relatively low compared to the rest of the country. As such, Colorado is a very attractive location for people who make a decent chunk of change. Furthermore, I would say that another reason why Colorado is so attractive is the all of the pristine powder that is close to or in the state. Places such as Vail or Aspen are great for snow sports, which is something I’m really into, so Colorado comes in at number 2.
Sarasota Sailfish
Sarasota comes in at number 3 on my list. If it was closer to any major city that wasn’t Tampa, it would honestly be number one my list. I personally love Florida and water sports a lot. Combine that with the fact that Florida may possibly be the single most tax friendly location in the US and it becomes incredibly evident why Sarasota ranks high on my list of places to be. The seemingly endless sunshine combined with the fact that it is only an hour away from Tampa make it a fairly attractive location for me. The fact that it is also very close to the water means that I would be able to spend off days on the water and do fishing, which is something that would be very nice.
Baltimore Hawks
From this point onwards, the attractiveness of these locations get lower for me personally. Baltimore is a city, that’s not a question, but its location is one of the things that makes me hesitant about moving to the city. Maryland is known for having incredibly high tax rates, which is a huge negative for me. Combine that with the relatively high crime rates of Baltimore make this city incredibly unfriendly towards people who want to have kids. You can make the same argument for Chicago, but the fact is that Chicago’s crime rates have decreased since a spike in 2016, but Baltimore’s has not. If anyone has read my introduction, they will understand that one of the biggest dreams for Julio Jones is to have a bunch of corn boys. Additionally, the fact that Baltimore is in a location that will receive a decent amount of snow and is cold makes me hesitant to live there long term.
Philadelphia Liberty
Philly’s claim to fame is a cracked bell and a sandwich with meat and cheese in it. Personally, I still honestly like chopped cheese a lot more than a cheesesteak, so that takes one of Philly’s selling points out of the equation. Combine that with an aging infrastructure, cold weather, and high tax rates, I personally would not want to live in New Jersey 2.0.
Yellowknife Wraiths
Completely honest, I had to google where Yellowknife even was before writing something about it. Situated on the north shore of the Great Slave Lake (what kind of name is that?) Yellowknife is honestly pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The team is obviously fairly successful, judging by their record, but as a place to live, I don’t want my kids to grow up as complete hicks. On the plus side, a million dollars would probably go pretty dang far in this place. So, it may be for some people but not for me personally.
ASFC
Orange County Otters
Orange County is one of the best places to live as a professional athlete, in my opinion. Combine that with the fact that the Otters are a very successful franchise and you get an incredibly attractive location for anyone. The team’s close proximity to Hollywood, incredible beaches, and huge media centers means that there will always be something to do, which is something that is very important to me.
Honolulu Hahalua
I love Hawaii. While I have personally been to Honolulu, and the island in general is just a great place to be. In a small space, there are swathes of parks and land that you can hike through as well as centers where you can go shopping or tan on beaches. The main attractions of this place are very much similar to the factors that also draw me to Sarasota. However, I’d have to rank this lower than Sarasota purely because it's a 6 hour flight to the Continental US. I don’t want to have to hop on an airplane for that long every single holiday, which would be a negative for this place.
Austin Copperheads
Keep Austin weird. I personally have never been to this place, but from various friends and family that have been here, I think that Austin would personally be a great fit for me. I am big on Texas-Style brisket, and the fact that Austin would provide me with the ability to live in a city but still own large swathes of land is something that is very attractive to me. Furthermore, I could go to UT games if I lived here. Although I’m not a UT alum, Darrell K. Royal is a sick stadium and I would totally go to games there.
San Jose SaberCats
Like the otters but the thrift store version. The Okay Place. I imagine San Jose to be like Orange County in every way, but like their Chipotles always have soggy pico and long lines and like you always have 3G instead of LTE and like everyone drives Camrys that are a few years old. So definitely livable, but not super ideal. But, if you're into suburban living and working a 9-5, San Jose is the place for you. Also, the only color car that they sell in this place is beige. (Beige Ferrari, anyone?)
New Orleans Second Line
NOLA smells like peepee. However, it’s not the last place because I like cajun food. Cafe Du Monde is sick and the city has a lot of culture. But, I have to dislike New Orleans out of principle. If I lived here, I would have to start wearing jorts unironically and I’m not ready to do that with my life yet. I came here for Mardi Gras last year, and my first experience in New Orleans was a fight happening inside of a Walmart over alcohol. Take that as you will.
Arizona Outlaws
Literally only old people live in Arizona. Bruce Arians even left Arizona for Tampa. The only reason I would visit this place is to try peyote. Would come here only if they promised to take me in the first round and fully guarantee my contract.
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that is all
