09-03-2021, 04:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-04-2021, 05:28 PM by allbetsonjames. Edited 1 time in total.)
While we are in a 1.5x media blitz and are waiting for the all-important DSFL draft on Wednesday, September 8 at 8:00 pm EST (nice plug, eh?), I thought I do a more light-hearted DSFL draft piece to keep us all entertained.
I am going to give three reasons why I would love to go to each of the eight DSFL teams. This is meant strictly for fun so a reason as substantial as they seem to have an opening at Quarterback where TB3 could conceivably start in a solo gig is right out. This will be more about logos, locations, and the like.
And since this is a draft piece, I will take them in draft order – or at least what I’ve seen on discord as the correct draft order. So, first up is ….
The London Royals
1. How can you not want to go to a team that will instantly make you a king? All the pomp and circumstance of the British royalty and its 1000+ years of history without any of the bother of being hounded by their horrible tabloid press.
2. I personally have probably about 75% of my heritage from Great Britain. There is the Welsh side which I am inordinately proud of, but the bulk of my family comes from West Yorkshire and more specifically some of the smaller villages around Huddersfield. Would love a chance to go “home” even if it is playing for those bleedin’ southerners down in London.
3. What a great logo. Nailed it all around. If you are talking British royalty you are talking elegant nobility and something a cut above. Well, that’s the traditional view anyway and what is Britain without tradition, what? The classic gold on black reflects that majesty perfectly and going with a lion, the king of the beasts, and also England’s traditional animal symbol? Perfection. I could play under that banner.
The Norfolk Seawolves
1. It took me a while to connect the Seawolf as a class of submarine actually built in the port of Norfolk, but when I finally did, I had to give the team the credit for a clever name. Anything that is absolutely on point, but takes a little knowledge or learning to fully get, gets high marks in my book.
2. Might be considered a bit cheap, but I’m sticking with the name Seawolf for this one. It’s just a cool name. I love the sea. I love wolves. Combined it’s just that much better. Even if you don’t get it’s a class of submarine, it just sounds cool and you want to play for them. And congrats on being the first dog-themed team on the list. Dogs are the greatest species on earth and if anyone disagrees, I’ll be happy to step outside with you.
3. This is completely cheating based on my criteria that these reasons shouldn’t be actual substantive one, but it’s my media piece and I can cheat when I want to. I won’t be calling out people like this, but anyone who has been in the DSFL (or ISFL) for 10 minutes will forgive me. If you join this team, one of your teammates is Sconnie McHits @g2019. Case closed.
The Bondi Beach Buccaneers
1. Oh, c’mon! Being a king is awesome, but being a pirate is awesomer! Yeah, I know – not a word. But do you really want to push that point with a bloodthirsty, scurvy-ridden pirate? No, I didn’t think so. All the DSFL teams do a great job labeling the channels in their discord LRs to reflect their brand, but when I’m in the BBB LR, I just want to begin each sentence with “Argh!”.
2. Another c’mon! What a logo! That has to be the absolute best logo in the DSFL. Just enough detail to be fearsome, but clean enough not to hurt the eyes. And done in the green and gold of Australia? A stroke of genius. If there were no other considerations, there is no other banner I’d rather rally around. Avast ye imperial scum! Strike your colors or prepare to be boarded!
3. Who doesn’t want to play for the Land Down Under? Everyone loves Australia and Australians even though they’ve probably never been (God, what a plane ride) and may have never met an actual Australian (I have). I mean, let’s throw another shrimp on the barbie! Ok, they probably never say that, but it sure is fun to say as a clueless Yank. I looked up Bondi Beach and it appears to be a super nice, gorgeous beach outside Sydney, but I like to think of it as a rough pirate haven a la the Caribbean ports of old.
4. Bonus reason which is cheating in several ways, but BBB picked me up as a waiver claim and treated me aces and that has forever won me over to the franchise.
The Kansas City Coyotes
1. Ok, let’s get this out of the way right off the top. Playing for Australia is aces. London makes you feel regal. But there is no other place on God’s green earth as good as Kansas City, my hometown. You cry, “homer!”? Guilty as charged, but it also means I know what I’m talking about. Apart from the weeks at a time in the summer when it hits 95-100 degrees every single damn day, there is nothing bad about Kansas City. It is paradise on earth. It is where we all aspire to live and make our fortune even when we don’t know that it is Kansas City – it’s an ideal. I recently enjoyed a week and a half vacation in my hometown traveling from the East Coast and in that time I enjoyed BBQ ribs 16 times from about 6 different locales. That included taking home lunch leftovers and enjoying them for dinner. If Kansas City had nothing going for it, but BBQ, it would be the greatest city on earth. It’s that good. I understand that Texas and Memphis and St. Louis and (gasp) Carolina feels good about its BBQ, but let’s not kid ourselves. KC is King.
2. Coyotes – that’s in the dog family. See my comments under the Seawolves. Species cannot be beat.
3. The team is located in Kansas City. I hear you saying, “You already said that.” Yes, I did. What of it? “Aren’t there any other reasons you’d like to go to the Coyotes?” Yes, yes there are. But this reason reigns so supreme that I don’t want to crowd it out with another almost equally good reason. Kansas City we love you – and someday we will return.
The Portland Pythons
1. If being a pirate is supreme, being a freakin’ serpent has to be second best. My family has a long history with this particular reptile. My son is an actor currently in college. Ok, yes, I’m O-L-D. His first gig was as angry guard number 2 at Disneyland when he was about 3. Man, you should have seen that scowl. Angry? Livid! But his second gig was in a church reproduction of the story of Noah and the Ark. Kids got to choose what animal they wanted to be. You guessed it. My son chose snake. My wife made this awesome snake costume that was basically a shiny, slithery, scaley sort of sleeve that meant no arms free and he looked really snake-like. All the other kids kind of just stood there frozen in fear or just not knowing what to do. As the story unfolded, my 3-4 year old child flopped to the ground and began slithering around the stage. Priceless. I don’t have too many opportunities to follow in his Oscar-winning footsteps, but I can be a Portland Python.
2. The city of Portland. What a great place on the best part of any coast anywhere – the US Pacific Northwest. Mild weather, hipster enclaves everywhere meaning good coffee and good beer, and a nice open culture welcoming people from a wide variety of backgrounds.
3. Ok, I’ve talked about how cool serpents are in general, but let’s talk about this rockin’ logo. I love the fact that the serpent is clearly a python and not just any snake as it is squeezing the life out of the football it is holding – obviously implying that the DSFL Pythons will squeeze the life out of their opponents. That is super cool!
The Dallas Birddogs
1. Ok, you should know by now what number one is. The mascot for this team is a freaking DOG, man. A DOG! The best animal in the universe including us grubby humans. This is really hands down all you need to know about this team. There are several teams with a mascot in the canis family, but this is an actual domesticated dog. Man’s best friend and not a close relative of man’s best friend. The team name even has in its name “dog” – not wolf or coyote. I really can’t stand it; this is so awesome. Even were I to land with this team and I had more substantive reasons, this will probably stay at the top of my list as my favorite things about my team. The mascot is a d – o – g.
2. I probably am not going to be able to stray much from the dog theme here as I am so captivated. The logo is absolutely spot on. It features a big D for THE big D – Dallas and walking through that D is an incredibly handsome and utterly noble birddog. Not just any dog, but a hunting dog. Oh yeah, Birddogs going to hunt down their opponents and bring them to heel.
3. Finally regarding this fabulous dog-enobled team – their discord server has the perfect avatar. A god wearing a red hunting cap. Birddogs are hunters and it’s wearing a red backwoods, deer hunting hunting cap. Oh, and the dog winks at you from time to time. Classic. LET ME ON THIS TEAM!!!
The Tijuana Luchadores
1. Ok, no dog, but there is a Mexican fake wrestler….ummmm… let’s move on to the fact that I started my ISFL career with this fine franchise. I was picked up on waiver shortly after the draft so spent almost the entirety of that year with the club. They slotted me in at RB2, but we ran a lot and both our RB1 and RB2 wracked up 1000 yards or close. It was a magical season. I went up to the ISFL after that year and was moved to WR2, but I shall never forget my time in Tijuana. Good reasons to return.
2. The Luchadores give Tijuana something to be proud of. They take it on the chin in pretty much every other way, so big props to the DSFL Luchadores for that one.
3. The Luchadores have an awesome color scheme. It is absolutely unique throughout the entirety of the league – ISFL or DSFL – and without it completely screaming it is quite reminiscent of the colors in the Mexican flag.
The Minnesota Grey Ducks
1. I lived in Minnesota for a few months before feeling compelled to leave for seminary in Louisville, KY and I’ve always wanted to return. This could be my chance. The air is crisp and clean and the waters of the 10,000+ lakes crystal clear. I said crisp, right? Ok, it’s damn cold. I moved into my apartment one January and it was 13 degrees below zero – not counting the windchill factor. Plugged my car in at night so it would start in the morning. Too bad I couldn’t plug myself in. But down a steaming hot mug of Joe and you are ready to brave the blizzard that is surely waiting for you outside your door. But I loved it. The one thing the cold did do for you – it kept the annoyance of the Minnesota state bird at a minimum. The Minnesota state bird? The mosquito, of course. Man, are they big up there – and everywhere in season.
2. Ok, some might knock them for it, but I feel their mascot is another reason for me to look forward to the idea of going to the Great White North. A duck? Yes, a duck. But not just any duck – a grey duck. Actually never ran into a grey duck in my time up on the border, but I’m sure they are thick as thieves in the land of Bob Dylan. So, you could be a pirate, a lordly lion or …. a dog. What is so good about the duck? If you know the people of Minnesota, you know how perfectly it represents them. Important ecologically and with its own unconventional nobility and beauty, but absolutely and completely unassuming. You can just hear it saying, “If you wouldn’t mind, could you please let a duck through, please. Just trying to get a tuna hot dish ready for the church potluck supper, doncha know. Oh, thank you so much!” And then when you are thinking how incredibly humble and polite the duck was, he crushes you on the gridiron. lol Love it!
3. Absolutely unique color scheme that reflects the snow and ice of the frozen north. Nailed it. And if you play for the Ducks, you stand out from the crowd – in a very quiet, Minnesota sort of way.
Well, there you have it. Three reasons (4 for Bondi Beach) why I would be excited to play of any of the fine franchises of the DSFL. Hope you had fun reading, but there is one serious point. You really can’t lose wherever you go in the DSFL. The league is chock full of some of the finest people you will meet anywhere and every GM is doing all they can to make your experience the absolute best it can be.
Good luck in the draft fellow S32 prospects and see you on the field!
I am going to give three reasons why I would love to go to each of the eight DSFL teams. This is meant strictly for fun so a reason as substantial as they seem to have an opening at Quarterback where TB3 could conceivably start in a solo gig is right out. This will be more about logos, locations, and the like.
And since this is a draft piece, I will take them in draft order – or at least what I’ve seen on discord as the correct draft order. So, first up is ….
The London Royals
1. How can you not want to go to a team that will instantly make you a king? All the pomp and circumstance of the British royalty and its 1000+ years of history without any of the bother of being hounded by their horrible tabloid press.
2. I personally have probably about 75% of my heritage from Great Britain. There is the Welsh side which I am inordinately proud of, but the bulk of my family comes from West Yorkshire and more specifically some of the smaller villages around Huddersfield. Would love a chance to go “home” even if it is playing for those bleedin’ southerners down in London.
3. What a great logo. Nailed it all around. If you are talking British royalty you are talking elegant nobility and something a cut above. Well, that’s the traditional view anyway and what is Britain without tradition, what? The classic gold on black reflects that majesty perfectly and going with a lion, the king of the beasts, and also England’s traditional animal symbol? Perfection. I could play under that banner.
The Norfolk Seawolves
1. It took me a while to connect the Seawolf as a class of submarine actually built in the port of Norfolk, but when I finally did, I had to give the team the credit for a clever name. Anything that is absolutely on point, but takes a little knowledge or learning to fully get, gets high marks in my book.
2. Might be considered a bit cheap, but I’m sticking with the name Seawolf for this one. It’s just a cool name. I love the sea. I love wolves. Combined it’s just that much better. Even if you don’t get it’s a class of submarine, it just sounds cool and you want to play for them. And congrats on being the first dog-themed team on the list. Dogs are the greatest species on earth and if anyone disagrees, I’ll be happy to step outside with you.
3. This is completely cheating based on my criteria that these reasons shouldn’t be actual substantive one, but it’s my media piece and I can cheat when I want to. I won’t be calling out people like this, but anyone who has been in the DSFL (or ISFL) for 10 minutes will forgive me. If you join this team, one of your teammates is Sconnie McHits @g2019. Case closed.
The Bondi Beach Buccaneers
1. Oh, c’mon! Being a king is awesome, but being a pirate is awesomer! Yeah, I know – not a word. But do you really want to push that point with a bloodthirsty, scurvy-ridden pirate? No, I didn’t think so. All the DSFL teams do a great job labeling the channels in their discord LRs to reflect their brand, but when I’m in the BBB LR, I just want to begin each sentence with “Argh!”.
2. Another c’mon! What a logo! That has to be the absolute best logo in the DSFL. Just enough detail to be fearsome, but clean enough not to hurt the eyes. And done in the green and gold of Australia? A stroke of genius. If there were no other considerations, there is no other banner I’d rather rally around. Avast ye imperial scum! Strike your colors or prepare to be boarded!
3. Who doesn’t want to play for the Land Down Under? Everyone loves Australia and Australians even though they’ve probably never been (God, what a plane ride) and may have never met an actual Australian (I have). I mean, let’s throw another shrimp on the barbie! Ok, they probably never say that, but it sure is fun to say as a clueless Yank. I looked up Bondi Beach and it appears to be a super nice, gorgeous beach outside Sydney, but I like to think of it as a rough pirate haven a la the Caribbean ports of old.
4. Bonus reason which is cheating in several ways, but BBB picked me up as a waiver claim and treated me aces and that has forever won me over to the franchise.
The Kansas City Coyotes
1. Ok, let’s get this out of the way right off the top. Playing for Australia is aces. London makes you feel regal. But there is no other place on God’s green earth as good as Kansas City, my hometown. You cry, “homer!”? Guilty as charged, but it also means I know what I’m talking about. Apart from the weeks at a time in the summer when it hits 95-100 degrees every single damn day, there is nothing bad about Kansas City. It is paradise on earth. It is where we all aspire to live and make our fortune even when we don’t know that it is Kansas City – it’s an ideal. I recently enjoyed a week and a half vacation in my hometown traveling from the East Coast and in that time I enjoyed BBQ ribs 16 times from about 6 different locales. That included taking home lunch leftovers and enjoying them for dinner. If Kansas City had nothing going for it, but BBQ, it would be the greatest city on earth. It’s that good. I understand that Texas and Memphis and St. Louis and (gasp) Carolina feels good about its BBQ, but let’s not kid ourselves. KC is King.
2. Coyotes – that’s in the dog family. See my comments under the Seawolves. Species cannot be beat.
3. The team is located in Kansas City. I hear you saying, “You already said that.” Yes, I did. What of it? “Aren’t there any other reasons you’d like to go to the Coyotes?” Yes, yes there are. But this reason reigns so supreme that I don’t want to crowd it out with another almost equally good reason. Kansas City we love you – and someday we will return.
The Portland Pythons
1. If being a pirate is supreme, being a freakin’ serpent has to be second best. My family has a long history with this particular reptile. My son is an actor currently in college. Ok, yes, I’m O-L-D. His first gig was as angry guard number 2 at Disneyland when he was about 3. Man, you should have seen that scowl. Angry? Livid! But his second gig was in a church reproduction of the story of Noah and the Ark. Kids got to choose what animal they wanted to be. You guessed it. My son chose snake. My wife made this awesome snake costume that was basically a shiny, slithery, scaley sort of sleeve that meant no arms free and he looked really snake-like. All the other kids kind of just stood there frozen in fear or just not knowing what to do. As the story unfolded, my 3-4 year old child flopped to the ground and began slithering around the stage. Priceless. I don’t have too many opportunities to follow in his Oscar-winning footsteps, but I can be a Portland Python.
2. The city of Portland. What a great place on the best part of any coast anywhere – the US Pacific Northwest. Mild weather, hipster enclaves everywhere meaning good coffee and good beer, and a nice open culture welcoming people from a wide variety of backgrounds.
3. Ok, I’ve talked about how cool serpents are in general, but let’s talk about this rockin’ logo. I love the fact that the serpent is clearly a python and not just any snake as it is squeezing the life out of the football it is holding – obviously implying that the DSFL Pythons will squeeze the life out of their opponents. That is super cool!
The Dallas Birddogs
1. Ok, you should know by now what number one is. The mascot for this team is a freaking DOG, man. A DOG! The best animal in the universe including us grubby humans. This is really hands down all you need to know about this team. There are several teams with a mascot in the canis family, but this is an actual domesticated dog. Man’s best friend and not a close relative of man’s best friend. The team name even has in its name “dog” – not wolf or coyote. I really can’t stand it; this is so awesome. Even were I to land with this team and I had more substantive reasons, this will probably stay at the top of my list as my favorite things about my team. The mascot is a d – o – g.
2. I probably am not going to be able to stray much from the dog theme here as I am so captivated. The logo is absolutely spot on. It features a big D for THE big D – Dallas and walking through that D is an incredibly handsome and utterly noble birddog. Not just any dog, but a hunting dog. Oh yeah, Birddogs going to hunt down their opponents and bring them to heel.
3. Finally regarding this fabulous dog-enobled team – their discord server has the perfect avatar. A god wearing a red hunting cap. Birddogs are hunters and it’s wearing a red backwoods, deer hunting hunting cap. Oh, and the dog winks at you from time to time. Classic. LET ME ON THIS TEAM!!!
The Tijuana Luchadores
1. Ok, no dog, but there is a Mexican fake wrestler….ummmm… let’s move on to the fact that I started my ISFL career with this fine franchise. I was picked up on waiver shortly after the draft so spent almost the entirety of that year with the club. They slotted me in at RB2, but we ran a lot and both our RB1 and RB2 wracked up 1000 yards or close. It was a magical season. I went up to the ISFL after that year and was moved to WR2, but I shall never forget my time in Tijuana. Good reasons to return.
2. The Luchadores give Tijuana something to be proud of. They take it on the chin in pretty much every other way, so big props to the DSFL Luchadores for that one.
3. The Luchadores have an awesome color scheme. It is absolutely unique throughout the entirety of the league – ISFL or DSFL – and without it completely screaming it is quite reminiscent of the colors in the Mexican flag.
The Minnesota Grey Ducks
1. I lived in Minnesota for a few months before feeling compelled to leave for seminary in Louisville, KY and I’ve always wanted to return. This could be my chance. The air is crisp and clean and the waters of the 10,000+ lakes crystal clear. I said crisp, right? Ok, it’s damn cold. I moved into my apartment one January and it was 13 degrees below zero – not counting the windchill factor. Plugged my car in at night so it would start in the morning. Too bad I couldn’t plug myself in. But down a steaming hot mug of Joe and you are ready to brave the blizzard that is surely waiting for you outside your door. But I loved it. The one thing the cold did do for you – it kept the annoyance of the Minnesota state bird at a minimum. The Minnesota state bird? The mosquito, of course. Man, are they big up there – and everywhere in season.
2. Ok, some might knock them for it, but I feel their mascot is another reason for me to look forward to the idea of going to the Great White North. A duck? Yes, a duck. But not just any duck – a grey duck. Actually never ran into a grey duck in my time up on the border, but I’m sure they are thick as thieves in the land of Bob Dylan. So, you could be a pirate, a lordly lion or …. a dog. What is so good about the duck? If you know the people of Minnesota, you know how perfectly it represents them. Important ecologically and with its own unconventional nobility and beauty, but absolutely and completely unassuming. You can just hear it saying, “If you wouldn’t mind, could you please let a duck through, please. Just trying to get a tuna hot dish ready for the church potluck supper, doncha know. Oh, thank you so much!” And then when you are thinking how incredibly humble and polite the duck was, he crushes you on the gridiron. lol Love it!
3. Absolutely unique color scheme that reflects the snow and ice of the frozen north. Nailed it. And if you play for the Ducks, you stand out from the crowd – in a very quiet, Minnesota sort of way.
Well, there you have it. Three reasons (4 for Bondi Beach) why I would be excited to play of any of the fine franchises of the DSFL. Hope you had fun reading, but there is one serious point. You really can’t lose wherever you go in the DSFL. The league is chock full of some of the finest people you will meet anywhere and every GM is doing all they can to make your experience the absolute best it can be.
Good luck in the draft fellow S32 prospects and see you on the field!
Code:
2,320 words