12-06-2021, 12:34 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2021, 04:44 AM by .simo. Edited 2 times in total.)
(1796 words via Google Docs)
Just as a heads up for this, I am choosing these various players based on the concept of not only winning, but winning in a fashion that would be suitable for a movie similar to the comeback story of Space Jam. Have fun reading and don’t bother arguing my picks. I won’t listen.
QB: Ryan Negs - Philadelphia Liberty @negs
I make this pick because Ryan Negs has the skills and abilities to be an elite quarterback, but he has been hammered with bad luck his whole career. This is his big chance to become a hero and play out of his mind to bring the Earth team the big W. This current season shows that he is very efficient and has the tools to bring a team to a winning record. Give him weapons on the outside (I’ll get to those shortly) and his gunslinger arm will be too much for the aliens to handle. I also think they will underestimate him as they likely predicted the Earth team to take Mathias Caliban here.
RB1: Zoey Watts - Austin Copperheads
I make this selection because Watts has been an outstanding talent at both catching and running with the ball. You’ll see with my RB2 that I want as many playmakers on the field for offense as possible and speed kills. The aliens are likely to injure a player on purpose by cheating once or twice and I figure with all speed and elusiveness it should help reduce the chance for that. My big bruisers I’ll be picking to protect should also add the muscle needed to bully the aliens around at times.
RB2: Lonnie Jackson - Philadelphia Liberty @Exilate
You’re gonna say “Titan, why Lonnie he’s hasn’t been a top RB in any of the recent seasons, you’re on crack!”. To you, I say, “Fuck off.” Lonnie has been a part of a runningback by committee approach his entire career and that has really hampered his numbers in comparison to someone like Goat Tank or Tatsu Nakamura. Lonnie has still managed to show up in the statbooks and his receiving numbers are nothing to scoff at either over his career. His raw speed and ability to make people miss is something I want on my team to defeat the aliens, no questions asked.
WR1: Jake Fencik - Philadelphia Liberty @xenosthelegend
I said speed kills and this is another shout-out to my Philly team mates, but my WR 1 is Jake Fencik. His raw ability to burn people down field is something that is definitely going to be needed as we take on the aliens who will also have speedsters themselves. Fencik has really put up two great years of being a receiver and he looks primed to take down some alien scum.
WR2: Tugg Speedman - New York Silverbacks
Tugg has been a touchdown machine in recent years and that competitiveness to put the ball in the endzone will be a major factor in his placement on the team. Tugg has great speed and has a great ability to be a possession receiver and move the chains as well. He’s a large target load receiver and his ability to continue late into the game with his endurance will help assure us victory over our invaders.
SLOT: Bayley Cowabunga - Austin Copperheads @JKortesi81
My selection of Bayley here is due to the fact that they work great inside the markers. Their TD numbers are in large due to their success in the redzone and running quick routes. Just another threat to an already stacked skill room for this team. Bayley also shares the competitive edge that makes Tugg so great along with the ability to absorb catches and move the chains. The goal here is to have Tugg and Bayley take up time with catches and have Fencik burn the defenders when the time is right.
TE1: Borgo San Lorenzo - Philadelphia Liberty @AgentSmith
Borgo has been one of the best tight ends for the last few seasons and his raw speed and catching ability makes him and absolute monster over the middle. Borgo has even played out wide in 4 receiver sets so his versatility is a huge factor here. Our ability to confuse the aliens with different sets and a plethora of weapons being interchangeable will surely give us a huge boost to winning this game.
TE2: Mario Messi - Sarasota Sailfish
Messi is another athletic tight end that swapped over from wide receiver earlier in his career. That athleticism alone will make him a great back up to Borgo for the same reasons that I mentioned having two extremely talented runningbacks. The aliens will likely focus down Borgo and if for whatever reason he gets beat up, then we have a great back up to put in for him or to use in multiple tight end sets.
OL: Franklin, Ding Dong, Stumpy Jones, Buckley, and Risposte. @Hordle
This collection of offensive linemen will truly be dominant. The aliens will be tough as hell on their defensive front, but these behemoths all together on the offensive side will be an unstoppable force. These players combined have won more awards than I can count and I don’t think a spaceship could crash through them.
LE: Medicinal Toblerone - NOLA
This pick shouldn’t be a surprise as Toblerone has been a heavy hitting end for the last couple seasons. I want athleticism all over this defense and Toblerone’s ability to get to the quarterback will definitely be a boon here. Mix this with my picks for DT and RE and we are bound to give the alien’s nightmares.
DT: Honkytonk Haywood - Philadelphia Liberty
Haywood has been an award winner a couple times over the last few years and he continues to get to the quarterback from the nose tackle position. I am running a 3-4 here and he fits the bill perfectly as we look to do exotic blitzes to confuse and terrorize the alien’s offense all game long. Haywood isn’t one to be pushed around and he will give the aliens everything he has blow for blow. Good luck aliens.
RE: Leonard Taylor - Yellowknife Wraiths
Taylor is an absolute beast on the outside whether its stopping the run or blasting a quarterback. Honestly, I don’t think there has been a more dominant defensive end in the last couple seasons and Taylor will be another smashmouth addition to the team here. The aliens are going to not even want to play offense with this terrifying front breathing down their necks every play.
ROLB: Big Slammu - Honolulu Hahalua
Slammu has been a menace in his push to get to the quarterback and he might as well be a 3rd defensive end in this scheme. Slammu’s sole focus in this game is to stop the run and apply pressure to the quarterback. As the last few seasons have shown, Slammu is a breakneck mauler at the outside linebacker position and he will really clamp down his jaws on the alien offense.
MLB1: Gary Goodman - Philadelphia Liberty @"ShnarlyDude"
Goodman is a natural outside linebacker, but his athleticism and intelligence are too good to pass up as a team captain here. Goodman has a knack for causing turnovers along with everything else a linebacker should do. He’s a stat machine and he’s not afraid to get his nose dirty in the middle. Goodman adds that leader character that is needed to really pull the team together late for that final push.
MLB2: Melvin Murder-Moose - Colorado Yeti @SchwarzNarr
Murder-Moose is a legend among linebackers and is someone I just couldn’t exclude from this team. Murder-moose has the ability to create havoc all over the field and specializes in tormenting ballcarriers throughout the game by playing sideline to sideline. Melvin is incredible at getting to the quarterback on select blitzes as well. Just another well balanced addition to an already horrifying defense.
LOLB: Xavier Walls - Philadelphia Liberty
I pick my player here as Walls is your patented good guy who has a knack for being a badass. Walls has the ability to play the pass as well as streak through the line to hammer the quarterback. There is no higher competitor than Walls and his spot on this team is to play similar to Murder-Moose and be every on the field. Walls has a natural speed and agility to be a tough challenge to anyone he’s up against.
CB1: CJ Sonjack - Philadelphia Liberty @Ace
The #1 defense in the league harbors some of the most skilled players at any position and CJ tops the cornerback list. CJ is an absolute shut down cornerback and has learned from all of Doy Fieri’s mistakes. Sonjack has a knack for pick sixes so that is something the team will really need against the extraterrestrial threat that has challenged us. Look for Cj to play tough as nails against whatever the aliens throw at us.
CB2: Willie MIller - San Jose Sabercats @Sebster
Miller is another absolute stud at cornerback and his ability to knock down passes and snag them out of the air for key turnovers is impressive. The raw competitor that Willie is really is priceless and having both Sonjack and Miller as cornerbacks is almost like a cheat code. If it was for plot and scripts, the aliens very well could be completely shut out in this one.
FS: Pasta the Turtle - Baltimore Hawks
Pasta has been absolutely nutty playing Free Safety this season for the Hawks. His ability to make great tackles and also make circus catch interceptions has really been incredible even with him being only a rookie. Pasta may not have the wisdom that comes with age, but his raw ability to play the position will set the tone for the back end of this defense in this game.
SS: Romulus Roman - Philadelphia Liberty @Amulos
The Roman brothers have been great this season for the Liberty, but Romulus has truly been a savage from the strong safety position. His ability to create turnovers has struck teams time and time again and it will be no different when we play the aliens. Roman has been known to lay the wood hard on people and I’m sure he’ll turn it up a notch for these alien shitheads. Look out as he lurks in the back of this defense and clobbers anyone who escapes the other barbarians in the front seven.
K/P: Ikick Ballz - Philadelphia Liberty @Tp3480
Ballz has been absolutely insane in his rookie season with the Liberty and he has a freaking cannon for a leg. His accuracy and power combined make this an easy decision to make as we look for someone who can boom field goals and also pin the aliens inside the 20 yard line with punts. Ballz will likely win this game in true movie fashion in the last second of the game from about 65 yards out.
Just as a heads up for this, I am choosing these various players based on the concept of not only winning, but winning in a fashion that would be suitable for a movie similar to the comeback story of Space Jam. Have fun reading and don’t bother arguing my picks. I won’t listen.
QB: Ryan Negs - Philadelphia Liberty @negs
I make this pick because Ryan Negs has the skills and abilities to be an elite quarterback, but he has been hammered with bad luck his whole career. This is his big chance to become a hero and play out of his mind to bring the Earth team the big W. This current season shows that he is very efficient and has the tools to bring a team to a winning record. Give him weapons on the outside (I’ll get to those shortly) and his gunslinger arm will be too much for the aliens to handle. I also think they will underestimate him as they likely predicted the Earth team to take Mathias Caliban here.
RB1: Zoey Watts - Austin Copperheads
I make this selection because Watts has been an outstanding talent at both catching and running with the ball. You’ll see with my RB2 that I want as many playmakers on the field for offense as possible and speed kills. The aliens are likely to injure a player on purpose by cheating once or twice and I figure with all speed and elusiveness it should help reduce the chance for that. My big bruisers I’ll be picking to protect should also add the muscle needed to bully the aliens around at times.
RB2: Lonnie Jackson - Philadelphia Liberty @Exilate
You’re gonna say “Titan, why Lonnie he’s hasn’t been a top RB in any of the recent seasons, you’re on crack!”. To you, I say, “Fuck off.” Lonnie has been a part of a runningback by committee approach his entire career and that has really hampered his numbers in comparison to someone like Goat Tank or Tatsu Nakamura. Lonnie has still managed to show up in the statbooks and his receiving numbers are nothing to scoff at either over his career. His raw speed and ability to make people miss is something I want on my team to defeat the aliens, no questions asked.
WR1: Jake Fencik - Philadelphia Liberty @xenosthelegend
I said speed kills and this is another shout-out to my Philly team mates, but my WR 1 is Jake Fencik. His raw ability to burn people down field is something that is definitely going to be needed as we take on the aliens who will also have speedsters themselves. Fencik has really put up two great years of being a receiver and he looks primed to take down some alien scum.
WR2: Tugg Speedman - New York Silverbacks
Tugg has been a touchdown machine in recent years and that competitiveness to put the ball in the endzone will be a major factor in his placement on the team. Tugg has great speed and has a great ability to be a possession receiver and move the chains as well. He’s a large target load receiver and his ability to continue late into the game with his endurance will help assure us victory over our invaders.
SLOT: Bayley Cowabunga - Austin Copperheads @JKortesi81
My selection of Bayley here is due to the fact that they work great inside the markers. Their TD numbers are in large due to their success in the redzone and running quick routes. Just another threat to an already stacked skill room for this team. Bayley also shares the competitive edge that makes Tugg so great along with the ability to absorb catches and move the chains. The goal here is to have Tugg and Bayley take up time with catches and have Fencik burn the defenders when the time is right.
TE1: Borgo San Lorenzo - Philadelphia Liberty @AgentSmith
Borgo has been one of the best tight ends for the last few seasons and his raw speed and catching ability makes him and absolute monster over the middle. Borgo has even played out wide in 4 receiver sets so his versatility is a huge factor here. Our ability to confuse the aliens with different sets and a plethora of weapons being interchangeable will surely give us a huge boost to winning this game.
TE2: Mario Messi - Sarasota Sailfish
Messi is another athletic tight end that swapped over from wide receiver earlier in his career. That athleticism alone will make him a great back up to Borgo for the same reasons that I mentioned having two extremely talented runningbacks. The aliens will likely focus down Borgo and if for whatever reason he gets beat up, then we have a great back up to put in for him or to use in multiple tight end sets.
OL: Franklin, Ding Dong, Stumpy Jones, Buckley, and Risposte. @Hordle
This collection of offensive linemen will truly be dominant. The aliens will be tough as hell on their defensive front, but these behemoths all together on the offensive side will be an unstoppable force. These players combined have won more awards than I can count and I don’t think a spaceship could crash through them.
LE: Medicinal Toblerone - NOLA
This pick shouldn’t be a surprise as Toblerone has been a heavy hitting end for the last couple seasons. I want athleticism all over this defense and Toblerone’s ability to get to the quarterback will definitely be a boon here. Mix this with my picks for DT and RE and we are bound to give the alien’s nightmares.
DT: Honkytonk Haywood - Philadelphia Liberty
Haywood has been an award winner a couple times over the last few years and he continues to get to the quarterback from the nose tackle position. I am running a 3-4 here and he fits the bill perfectly as we look to do exotic blitzes to confuse and terrorize the alien’s offense all game long. Haywood isn’t one to be pushed around and he will give the aliens everything he has blow for blow. Good luck aliens.
RE: Leonard Taylor - Yellowknife Wraiths
Taylor is an absolute beast on the outside whether its stopping the run or blasting a quarterback. Honestly, I don’t think there has been a more dominant defensive end in the last couple seasons and Taylor will be another smashmouth addition to the team here. The aliens are going to not even want to play offense with this terrifying front breathing down their necks every play.
ROLB: Big Slammu - Honolulu Hahalua
Slammu has been a menace in his push to get to the quarterback and he might as well be a 3rd defensive end in this scheme. Slammu’s sole focus in this game is to stop the run and apply pressure to the quarterback. As the last few seasons have shown, Slammu is a breakneck mauler at the outside linebacker position and he will really clamp down his jaws on the alien offense.
MLB1: Gary Goodman - Philadelphia Liberty @"ShnarlyDude"
Goodman is a natural outside linebacker, but his athleticism and intelligence are too good to pass up as a team captain here. Goodman has a knack for causing turnovers along with everything else a linebacker should do. He’s a stat machine and he’s not afraid to get his nose dirty in the middle. Goodman adds that leader character that is needed to really pull the team together late for that final push.
MLB2: Melvin Murder-Moose - Colorado Yeti @SchwarzNarr
Murder-Moose is a legend among linebackers and is someone I just couldn’t exclude from this team. Murder-moose has the ability to create havoc all over the field and specializes in tormenting ballcarriers throughout the game by playing sideline to sideline. Melvin is incredible at getting to the quarterback on select blitzes as well. Just another well balanced addition to an already horrifying defense.
LOLB: Xavier Walls - Philadelphia Liberty
I pick my player here as Walls is your patented good guy who has a knack for being a badass. Walls has the ability to play the pass as well as streak through the line to hammer the quarterback. There is no higher competitor than Walls and his spot on this team is to play similar to Murder-Moose and be every on the field. Walls has a natural speed and agility to be a tough challenge to anyone he’s up against.
CB1: CJ Sonjack - Philadelphia Liberty @Ace
The #1 defense in the league harbors some of the most skilled players at any position and CJ tops the cornerback list. CJ is an absolute shut down cornerback and has learned from all of Doy Fieri’s mistakes. Sonjack has a knack for pick sixes so that is something the team will really need against the extraterrestrial threat that has challenged us. Look for Cj to play tough as nails against whatever the aliens throw at us.
CB2: Willie MIller - San Jose Sabercats @Sebster
Miller is another absolute stud at cornerback and his ability to knock down passes and snag them out of the air for key turnovers is impressive. The raw competitor that Willie is really is priceless and having both Sonjack and Miller as cornerbacks is almost like a cheat code. If it was for plot and scripts, the aliens very well could be completely shut out in this one.
FS: Pasta the Turtle - Baltimore Hawks
Pasta has been absolutely nutty playing Free Safety this season for the Hawks. His ability to make great tackles and also make circus catch interceptions has really been incredible even with him being only a rookie. Pasta may not have the wisdom that comes with age, but his raw ability to play the position will set the tone for the back end of this defense in this game.
SS: Romulus Roman - Philadelphia Liberty @Amulos
The Roman brothers have been great this season for the Liberty, but Romulus has truly been a savage from the strong safety position. His ability to create turnovers has struck teams time and time again and it will be no different when we play the aliens. Roman has been known to lay the wood hard on people and I’m sure he’ll turn it up a notch for these alien shitheads. Look out as he lurks in the back of this defense and clobbers anyone who escapes the other barbarians in the front seven.
K/P: Ikick Ballz - Philadelphia Liberty @Tp3480
Ballz has been absolutely insane in his rookie season with the Liberty and he has a freaking cannon for a leg. His accuracy and power combined make this an easy decision to make as we look for someone who can boom field goals and also pin the aliens inside the 20 yard line with punts. Ballz will likely win this game in true movie fashion in the last second of the game from about 65 yards out.
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