Part of what would make the dream Ultimus game great would be that anyone can win. Per the request, I'm only allowed to choose between actual playoff teams. Can the Outlaws be beaten? Yeah, probably. But probably not at home, and a 10% chance doesn’t make for exciting football. So let’s exclude the Outlaws from the dream game. By default, that leaves the Otters as contenders from the ASFC, and I’m happy with that because they’re such cute fuzzy little guys. They have an 8-6 regular season record, a decent but not godlike defense, and a good QB with Boss slinging the rock.
From the NSFC, the choices are Wraiths or Hawks. Both have won 8 regular season games, just like the Otters, but I’m going to give the nod here to the Hawks because they’ve got a similar points for and better defense than the Wraiths, which will be needed against the Otters.
QBs: Boss vs Kyubee – Boss has the edge here, with the three core stats of Arm, Acc, and Int all higher than Kyubee. Given that the running game has taken a significant step back for all teams in Season 2 thanks to the emergence of decent defenders and not enough OL to go against them, this is a nice advantage for the Otters to have.
RBs: Jenkins and Bowers Jr. vs Darlane Farlane – Everyone’s favorite rookie RB, Farlane, is probably slightly outclassed here vs the dynamic duo of Jenkins and Bowers Jr, and let’s not forget Bowers is retiring at the end of this season – he’s got an axe to grind with his last shot at an Ultimus ring. That said, Farlane is one fast MFer and neither Jenkins nor Bowers Jr can hope to compete with his speed. Given that much of an RB’s success is the O-line, the Otters probably have an advantage in the running department as well, but neither team has enough of a line to really open up running the ball as a viable main source of yardage. Both teams averaged 3.4 yards a carry during the regular season. Advantage, and it’s only slight, to the Otters.
WRs: Phelps and Westfield vs Christmas and Vincent – Yeah, it’s not a particularly fair category here. Phelps and Westfield are probably the best duo in the league unless you count Garden and Cook, and they haven’t been together a whole season so I’m not gonna. They combined for 11 TDs and 2,368 yards vs Christmas and Vincent’s 6 TDs and 1,881 yards. Advantage: Otters by a mile
TE: Wright Jr. vs Rando – The loss of TPE gobbler Gibson chunked the Hawk’s only worthwhile TE. George Wright Jr. is arguably the best TE in the league, in the same elite category as Maddox and DiMirio. Advantage: Otters
So, looking at it just from the offense, shit. Did I pick the wrong team? Just eyeballing it, offensively, the Wraiths would be a much better fit vs the Otters. Crap. Ok, moving on, maybe the defensive side of things will make it more interesting.
Linebackers: Bavitz, Harris, and Safety Verns vs Broadway, Harrison, and Wright – Verns is built as a safety, not an LB, so the weight difference is significant. Both teams run a 4-3 defense, so the clear winners here are the Hawks. Yay! The Hawks won a category! Maybe I’m not a fuckup for choosing them over the Wraiths. Advantage: Hawks
Defensive Line: Tomlinson and a crapton of inactives vs Boom, Hendrix, Taylor and an inactive: Hell yes! Hawks have this one in the bag as well. Where’s the Otters defensive line? All gone. Advantage: Hawks
Secondary: Kronen, McGinn, Spector and Petrakis vs Masvidal, Reyes, Delacour, and Turner: Arguably, the Otters safeties are better than the Hawks, since Reyes is actually a CB. That said, only Kronen and Reyes are active, so it’s basically a wash. Delacour and Turner are on the other hand way better than Spector and Petrakis. Advantage: Hawks
So what we have here folks is an offense vs defense battle. The Otters are far and away better offensively, but the Hawks defense matches that; on the other hand, the Hawks aren’t quite as good offensively, but are so too are the Otters significantly weaker on defense. It’s anybody’s game, and that’d be quite exciting. If only it were the actual Ultimus matchup. Ohh well, maybe next year.
GRADED
From the NSFC, the choices are Wraiths or Hawks. Both have won 8 regular season games, just like the Otters, but I’m going to give the nod here to the Hawks because they’ve got a similar points for and better defense than the Wraiths, which will be needed against the Otters.
QBs: Boss vs Kyubee – Boss has the edge here, with the three core stats of Arm, Acc, and Int all higher than Kyubee. Given that the running game has taken a significant step back for all teams in Season 2 thanks to the emergence of decent defenders and not enough OL to go against them, this is a nice advantage for the Otters to have.
RBs: Jenkins and Bowers Jr. vs Darlane Farlane – Everyone’s favorite rookie RB, Farlane, is probably slightly outclassed here vs the dynamic duo of Jenkins and Bowers Jr, and let’s not forget Bowers is retiring at the end of this season – he’s got an axe to grind with his last shot at an Ultimus ring. That said, Farlane is one fast MFer and neither Jenkins nor Bowers Jr can hope to compete with his speed. Given that much of an RB’s success is the O-line, the Otters probably have an advantage in the running department as well, but neither team has enough of a line to really open up running the ball as a viable main source of yardage. Both teams averaged 3.4 yards a carry during the regular season. Advantage, and it’s only slight, to the Otters.
WRs: Phelps and Westfield vs Christmas and Vincent – Yeah, it’s not a particularly fair category here. Phelps and Westfield are probably the best duo in the league unless you count Garden and Cook, and they haven’t been together a whole season so I’m not gonna. They combined for 11 TDs and 2,368 yards vs Christmas and Vincent’s 6 TDs and 1,881 yards. Advantage: Otters by a mile
TE: Wright Jr. vs Rando – The loss of TPE gobbler Gibson chunked the Hawk’s only worthwhile TE. George Wright Jr. is arguably the best TE in the league, in the same elite category as Maddox and DiMirio. Advantage: Otters
So, looking at it just from the offense, shit. Did I pick the wrong team? Just eyeballing it, offensively, the Wraiths would be a much better fit vs the Otters. Crap. Ok, moving on, maybe the defensive side of things will make it more interesting.
Linebackers: Bavitz, Harris, and Safety Verns vs Broadway, Harrison, and Wright – Verns is built as a safety, not an LB, so the weight difference is significant. Both teams run a 4-3 defense, so the clear winners here are the Hawks. Yay! The Hawks won a category! Maybe I’m not a fuckup for choosing them over the Wraiths. Advantage: Hawks
Defensive Line: Tomlinson and a crapton of inactives vs Boom, Hendrix, Taylor and an inactive: Hell yes! Hawks have this one in the bag as well. Where’s the Otters defensive line? All gone. Advantage: Hawks
Secondary: Kronen, McGinn, Spector and Petrakis vs Masvidal, Reyes, Delacour, and Turner: Arguably, the Otters safeties are better than the Hawks, since Reyes is actually a CB. That said, only Kronen and Reyes are active, so it’s basically a wash. Delacour and Turner are on the other hand way better than Spector and Petrakis. Advantage: Hawks
So what we have here folks is an offense vs defense battle. The Otters are far and away better offensively, but the Hawks defense matches that; on the other hand, the Hawks aren’t quite as good offensively, but are so too are the Otters significantly weaker on defense. It’s anybody’s game, and that’d be quite exciting. If only it were the actual Ultimus matchup. Ohh well, maybe next year.
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GRADED
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